No Fear Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet: Act 2 Scene 4 Page 7

Original Text	Modern Text
MERCUTIO Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.	MERCUTIO Is the worst well? Very well taken, I believe, very wise.
NURSE If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.	NURSE (to ROMEO) If you’re the Romeo I’m looking for, sir, I would like to have a confidence The nurse means “conference,” not confidence. This is a joke called a malapropism, where the right word is replaced by a similar-sounding word with a completely different meaning. confidence with you.
BENVOLIO 65She will indite him to some supper.	BENVOLIO She will indite Bevolio makes fun of the Nurse by saying “indite” instead of “invite.” indite him to some dinner party.
MERCUTIO A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!	MERCUTIO A pimp! A pimp! A pimp! I’ve found it out.
ROMEO What hast thou found?	ROMEO What have you found out?
MERCUTIO No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.	MERCUTIO She’s not a prostitute unless she’s using her ugliness to hide her promiscuity.
(sings) An old hare hoar, And an old hare hoar, Is very good meat in Lent. But a hare that is hoar Is too much for a score When it hoars ere it be spent. 70 (speaks)	(he walks by them and sings) Old rabbit meat is good to eat, If you can’t get anything else. But if it’s so old, That it goes bad before you eat it, Then it was a waste of money. (speaking)
Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.	Romeo, are you going to your father’s for lunch? Let’s go there.
ROMEO I will follow you.	ROMEO I’ll follow after you.