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He had never quarreled much with this woman, while with the women that he loved he had quarreled so much they had finally, always, with the corrosion of the quarreling, killed what they had together. He had loved too much, demanded too much, and he wore it all out.
Although Harry’s past life was difficult and complicated, it was also inspired and authentic. His quarrels with his former girlfriends and wives happened because, at that time, he was energetic, virile, and an active participant in his own life. He truly loved these women, and his relationships were full of conflict because he had strong, intense emotions. Meanwhile, Harry’s new life, and his marriage with Helen, seems easy and comfortable, but at its core is false and gutless. Harry never fights with Helen because he feels very little toward her or toward anything.
He could beat anything, he thought, because no thing could hurt him if he did not care.
The greatest tragedy of Harry’s current existence is that he has taught himself not to care about anything. Choosing a life of comfort and wealth with a woman he doesn’t truly love over a life of stimulation and challenge has paralyzed him, and, in his own words, made his soul grow fat. His inability to summon the emotional fervor and depth of his youth leaves him feeling dull and lifeless. In this depressed state, he has no will to write, despite it being his greatest talent and his life purpose.
