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She liked what he wrote and she had always envied the life he led. She thought he did exactly what he wanted to.
Helen sees Harry as an independent, self-assured man, which is why she marries him. However, this perspective shows Helen’s fundamental misunderstanding of Harry. She loves him, but the person she loves is not Harry’s true self. Harry is insecure, broken, and sliding into apathy when he meets Helen. Harry did his best to hide his faults, which explains why Helen cannot initially see through his façade. As signs of Harry’s brokenness appear, Helen deludes herself, choosing to ignore them. In all their years of marriage, Helen never knew or understood Harry enough to realize the truth. Even in Harry’s final days, Helen cannot bring herself to accept reality.
“If you have to go away,” she said, “is it absolutely necessary to kill off everything you leave behind? I mean do you have to take away everything?”
For much of the story, Helen is in denial, not only about Harry’s approaching death but also his insistence that he doesn’t love her and is miserable in the life they share together. Although he bluntly tells her all these things, she doesn’t seem to truly hear him. However, in this quote, Helen breaks through her delusions, showing that she may not be as naive as she seems. Rather, she seems to be pleading with Harry to not shatter the fantasy they’ve built together, and to allow her to remember their relationship as positive and loving. Harry honors her request, maintaining a facade of affection and contentment around Helen until his death.
