Dr. Charles Wadsworth became an important figure in Dickinson's interior
universe, serving as a kind of muse. Dickinson secretly sent letters
to him through friends, asking them to write his address on the
envelope in their handwriting. She requested that Wadsworth's letters
to her, stashed away in a secret drawer, be burned after her death,
and all were, except for one.
In 1856, after Austin married Susan Gilbert, he chose
to join his father's law office. He had considered moving to Michigan
with his new wife. The prospect deeply saddened Dickinson–Sue was
one of her closest friends, and Dickinson adored Austin. After
a brief reconnaissance trip to Michigan, Austin decided to accept
Edward Dickinson's offer of a partnership in the firm and a new
house across the lawn, rather than face an uncertain future in a
new state. That same year, Emily Norcross Dickinson fell ill and
began to rely on Dickinson for care.
In 1857, just as Austin and Sue were getting settled in
their new home, Sue read a notice in the newspaper that Ralph Waldo
Emerson was scheduled to visit Amherst. Sue admired Emerson's work immensely.
She had read everything Emerson had published, rereading his books
so often that she knew almost every one by heart. Sue decided to
ask Emerson to be her guest after his lecture at the college. He
accepted. He and Sue got along wonderfully at Sue's impromptu salon,
but Emily Dickinson did not attend despite having read Emerson's
work.
In the last two years, Dickinson had taken to her craft
with earnest dedication. Some scholars believe that at this time
Dickinson was finishing a poem every day. Edward Dickinson noticed
Dickinson's desk lamp burning until the wee hours of the morning,
and her face was haggard from lack of sleep. Upon discovering that Dickinson
was up late reading (she made no mention of her composition) Edward
made an uncharacteristically lax decision, saying it was permissable
for Dickinson to sleep late. Dickinson was truly reading in addition
to writing, and from her reading she was harvesting ideas, images,
concepts and even metaphors. Both Aurora Leigh by
Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Emerson's essays and poems had an
enormous influence on Dickinson.
In early spring of 1860, Dickinson was surprised to find
Dr. Charles Wadsworth at the door. He had come for an unexpected visit,
and Dickinson joined him for a carriage ride. Dickinson's niece
Martha Dickinson Bianchi–Austin and Sue's daughter–later said that
when Dickinson went for the carriage ride, Lavinia rushed across
the lawn into Sue's house and said breathlessly: "I am afraid Emily
will go away with him." The couple returned, however, and Lavinia
returned to the house to find Wadsworth gone and Dickinson locked
in her room.
During the following week, Dickinson did not emerge from
her room and, Martha said, did not even leave her bed. She seemed
to have suffered some kind of shock. Dickinson's family was so
concerned that they called a doctor. After a brief examination,
the doctor announced that Dickinson had had a shock to the nervous system
from unknown causes. The shock had affected her eyesight, which
was now strained and dangerously close to failing. Dickinson would
not tell anyone what had happened that had so shocked and distressed
her. That year, Austin and Sue had a child, Ned. The birth of the
baby was a distraction, and because the baby was sickly, the family's
attention was diverted from Dickinson's mysterious illness.
