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10 Thoughts We Had While Watching Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Oh the trials of being a woman! One must not only find a suitable man to marry, but also slay the thousands of zombies ravaging the country—thank goodness for our handy fainting couches!

There’s no shortage of deadly women in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but a surprising number of corsets are still in use. As a hardcore Pride and Prejudice fan, it was sometimes difficult to see some of our favorite Austen moments replaced with decapitations and battle scenes. On the other hand, girl talk is truly at its best when it includes hand to hand combat AND giggling about boys. But, when you tackle one of the most beloved love stories of all time, there’s no avoiding the torrent of conflicting feelings about our darling Darcy facing the end of the world.

Here are my biggest takeaways after seeing the latest bigscreen adaptation of the Austen classic:

I’m not angry about Sam Riley’s portrayal of Fitzwilliam Darcy

It would seem that anyone can become handsome if they wear a full length leather greatcoat and just brood hard enough. When walking into P&P&Z, I was FULL of doubts about Sam Riley‘s ability to play the legendary Mr. Darcy; but, by the time the metaphorical curtain fell, I was melting under the power of his surly glower.

Zombiepocalypse Wickham is a social prepper

Everyone knows that Mr. Wickham is the worst. He is the epitome of a douchewaffle, with blinding good looks that distract from his hideous lies. But, in P&P&Z, he ascends to a whole new level of jerkdom. *SPOILER* He is totally into the apocalypse and is BFFs with the zombies. NEW LOWS, Wickham.

Walking a moor in a dress is one thing, but fighting a zombie in one is another

While my eyes say “We wants, our precious” to the pretty, period dresses, my brain knows how illogical it is that all the women must fight in corsets. I’m not positive, but I feel like not being able to breathe or bend would seriously limit your ass-kicking mobility (but maybe the thigh-high slits would make up for the discomfort of having your ribs crushed?). Without question, their traveling clothes are to die for though.

The end of the world can’t stop Mrs. Bennet from being ridiculous

This is important; that, even in a world overrun by plague and death, life goes on/mothers still be meddling.

There is pride and prejudice and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

An addition to the zombified story, there is a zombie-combat subplot where everyone travels to China or Japan to learn “the art of war” and defend themselves against the new brain-thirsty threat. So, apparently it’s perfectly safe to journey from England to Asia in the middle of a zombie plague outbreak, but walking from one home to another in the countryside is CRAZY dangerous. Seriously, multiple characters almost die while walking VERY short distances.

Matt Smith as Mr. Collins is SUPERBLY ENJOYABLE but also appropriately repulsive

It is a truth universally acknowledged that we would all turn down Mr. Collins hand in marriage (ew), but I didn’t realize it could be so much fun to hate someone so thoroughly. The jaunty Matt Smith has proved that apparently, the more repulsive and ridiculous Mr. Collins is, the more I enjoy watching him.

An eye patch is the missing piece of Lady Catherine de Burgh’s character

Lady Catherine can rock an eye patch and be the country’s most fearsome warrior while still thinking very backwardly about marrying below your class. This needs to be retroactively worked into all “straight” versions of P&P.

I didn’t hate the fighting!

Verbal sparring is so much more fun (and surprisingly sexy) when there’s actual sparring involved as well. Lizzie still has her words for weapons, but also wields some implements as sharp as her tongue.

Bingley is there, although I can’t think of better zombie meat than Bingley and Jane, softest softies in all the land

An absolute constant of all adaptations of Jane Austen’s beloved novel? Mr. Bingley must always have the dreamiest eyes in the room. Douglas Booth certainly fulfills that duty.

No folk songs?

If there’s no piano to play, Mary Bennet really doesn’t exist.

Have you seen P&P&Z? Is a greatcoat the sexiest thing a man can wear? Is Matt Smith the most “barely tolerable” Mr. Collins of all time?