12 Things All Gingers Have to Deal With
Today, January 12th, is International(?) Kiss a Ginger Day. OBVIOUSLY as with any kiss, whether promulgated as a dubious holiday or no, make sure the kissee is fully into it. Now, as for the reason gingers have been singled out for this token day of appreciation: we get a lot of flack. Not just from society (thanks a lot, South Park), but also from the celestial universe. Don’t get me wrong, being a ginger kid is great. My hair color is my favorite feature, but my red hair and pale complexion bring with them a few problems. Fellow gingers, I hear you. Sending you all a virtual kiss, and 12 very real complaints.
12. Not being able to get that “sun-kissed tan.”
Speaking of smooching, the sun doesn’t kiss me, it slaps me until I’m red in the face.
11. If there’s another redhead at my school or job, everyone asks if we’re related.
There are 140 million redheads in the world, and they’re not all my brothers and sisters. (Although obviously, we’re all Weasleys at heart.)
10. Eyebrow and eyelash envy
I want Cara Delevingne’s brows, but my body hair insists on being so invisible that if I shaved my head, you wouldn’t even know I was a mammal.
9. “You know what they say about redheads; they’re all hot-tempered.”
If I already know what they say about redheads, why are you telling it to me again? The worst part is, if I give the person who says this a death glare, I’m just confirming the “redheads have no chill” stereotype.
8. I have to actually clean my hair out of the shower.
If I clog the drain with my hair, my roommates will know it was me.
7. Skin more sensitive than a Drake lyric
My skin is so overly sensitive, I break out in a rash if I even see certain brands of laundry detergent.
6. “Redheads are going extinct.”
This is actually an urban legend, but I’m not complaining if you want to give me special privileges because I’m part of an “endangered species”.
5. People who touch my hair when they meet me.
Just because it’s red doesn’t mean it feels any different! Plus, I’m not cutting you out of there if your hand gets caught in my tangles.
4. Sunscreen gets expensive
I wear sunscreen even in the winter…in Alaska. All those gallons of SPF add up to a pretty hefty price tag.
3. Not being able to tell whether the speck on my nose is a freckle or a blackhead.
Okay, I checked and this one was actually just a brownie crumb.
2. “Is that your real hair color?”
Take another look at my practically translucent skin if you’re not sure I’m a real ginger.
1. The sun
What did I ever do to you, giant sky orb?
Fellow gingers! What would you add to the list?
