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12 (Trivial) Reasons 2016 Was The Absolute Worst

Obviously, there’s plenty about 2016 that was genuinely terrifying (more on that here)—I read the news (okay, Twitter). But this list deliberately excludes some of the more glaring nightmares, in favor of the quotidian indignities that 2016 visited upon us.

1. Kim Kardashian is off social media since her jewelry was snatched in a terrifying armed robbery in October. OCTOBER!! Now how am I supposed to feel sorry for myself for my personal and extensive lack of glamour? No one else can really drive it home quite like Kim. Kim, if you’re reading this, (Probably! -eds.) come back, come back.

2. RIP Vine?

3. Pokémon Go turned out to be kind of boring. When it started, we lost our minds for it and fell in love. But then things kind of fizzled out. Everyone’s pretty meh on it at the moment, and that’s no fun.

4. Brangelina broke up. Nothing further.

5. Clowns are terrifying the nation. I was no fan in the first place, (early childhood trauma; Big Apple Circus; lots of therapy), and this only confirms my disdain. Really, clowns, lurking under a bridge, in a sewer drain?? For why??

6. Papaw’s grandkids didn’t eat the burgers he made them. His grandkids also call him “papaw.”

7. Some people are far, far too rich.

8. Did Jay Z cheat on Beyoncé? Is the jury still out? To what extent do we assume that Lemonade is autobiographical? Doesn’t even matter. Gives me the sads just thinking about it.

9. Justin Bieber rocked dreadlocks for a couple of weeks. Bieber. Dreadlocks.

10. Independence Day: Resurgence was terrrrrrible.

11. The year’s most popular meme revolved around the death of Harambe, a gorilla who was shot at the Cincinnati Zoo after a child fell into his habitat.

12. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was not good. It jumped around constantly and seemed desperate to tie itself to the original series by referring back to it again and again and again. A less than magical Harry Potter ride makes me so sad.