SparkNotes Blog

2016 MOVIE PREVIEW: The Flicks We Wanna See SUH BAD

With the Oscars just a few weeks away, most of us are scrambling to watch the Best Picture nominees. But if you’re already SO OVER 2015, you’re in luck, because there’s an outrageous amount of amazing sequels, adaptations, and original movies set to open in 2016.

FEBRUARY

Zoolander 2

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are back at it in their vinyl pants and fur collars in Zoolander 2. The trailer is already blowing our minds with appearances by so many really really ridiculously good-looking people from Penelope Cruz to Justin Bieber to Benedict Cumberbatch. Waiting another month for this baby has us feeling like we’re taking CRAZY PILLS.

Hail, Caesar!

The Cohen Brothers bring us another zany, madcap ensemble comedy, this time set in 1950s Hollywood, with a whodunit revolving around the mysterious kidnapping of a dopey megastar played by George Clooney. Hail, Cesar! features an amazing cast including Channing Tatum as a tap-dancing sailor and Scarlett Johanson as an Esther Williams-ish bathing beauty bad girl. 

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

As if dating in 19th Century England didn’t suck enough, what with rules about decorum and class and dowries and worries of ending up an old spinster by age 27, now single ladies also have another problem: the undead. We cannot wait to see some epic battles go down among the swashbuckling and ninja-kicking Bennett sisters. With Lily James (Cinderella) as Elizabeth Bennett, Matt Smith (Doctor Who) as Mr. Collins, and Sam Riley (On the Road) as Mr. Darcy.

MARCH

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Like everyone else, we can’t wait to see Zack Snyder’s ultimate match-up between the Man of Steel and The Dark Knight. There are so many questions at hand. Why is Superman so angry? Will Jesse Eisenberg be able to plunge past semi-evil-Zuckerberg-level into mega-evil-Lex-Luther-level? Will Wonder Woman fly away with the entire film? WE NEED TO KNOW.

APRIL

The Jungle Book

Jon Favreau (Elf, Iron Man) directs this new Disney live-action adaptation, voiced by our DREAM CAST of beloved actors including Scarlett Johansson, Edris Elba, Lupita Nyong’o, and Bill Murray.

The Huntsman

Synopsis: Two sometimes-rival royal sisters live in a remote castle, with one of them equipped with a special power—her ability to turn anything to ice and snow in a flash from her fingertips… Although the trailer made the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman look EXACTLY like Frozen on steroids, we are still pretty pumped to see it.

JUNE

Finding Dory

Fins Up, Finding Nemo-lovers! Nemo’s charmingly forgetful fish friend, Dory finally gets her own full-length film this summer. We can’t wait to get back into the dreamy underwater reef world of the original.

The Secret Life of Pets

When we go to work and school and leave our pets alone, what do they DO all day, besides lick their butts? The trailer, an absolute treasure trove of cuteness, had us squee-ing away—especially the part with a dachshund using a kitchen mixer as his electronic back massager.

JULY

Ghostbusters

The hotly-anticipated, all-female Ghostbusters reboot opens this summer with comedienne superstars Kristin Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Melissa McCarthy, and Leslie Jones in the roles of the original marshmallow-melting fab four. (No trailer for this one yet, tragically!)

The Legend of Tarzan

Continuing with a 19th Century jungle-theme craze we never knew we wanted, director David Yates (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) presents megababe Alexander Skarsgård as Tarzan, returning to the jungle after years of fopping it up as a reformed gentlemen in London with his wife, Jane (Margot Robbie).

The BFG

This adaptation of Roald Dahl’s beloved classic has been shrouded in mystery thus far, but we’re anticipating something phizz-whizzingly delightful from Steven Spielberg & co.

NOVEMBER

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

We already broke this trailer down for you during our most intense spell of magic-starved anticipation. To re-cap: Eddie Redmayne plays magizoologist, Newt Scamander on a mission to 1920s New York. Newt’s sent to the big apple  to sort out the trouble arising from the escape of magical beasts he was assigned to transport.

DECEMBER

Passengers

This movie project was announced one year ago and now we’re FINALLY getting the Christmas present we WANT AND DESERVE. The dream team of JLaw and Chris Pratt in Morten Tyldum’s Passengers: what will surely turn out to be the most glorious, romantic cryogenically-frozen mail-order-bride sci-fi adventure the world has ever known. (When we get the glorious trailer for the Film That Launched a Thousand ‘Ships, we will LET YOU KNOW.)

Which of these future classics is giving you the vapours?