40 Rejected Hogwarts Classes

You’ve heard of Potions, Transfiguration, and Charms. However, I have no doubt that some well-meaning Hogwarts professor tried to suggest a few new courses to Dumbledore and received a stern “No. For God’s sake, Stuart, there’s a three-headed dog on the third floor and a mountain troll in the girls’ bathroom. This school is dangerous enough as it is without you teaching Sword Swallowing, Fire Breathing, and Juggling for Beginners.”

Here are some other classes that didn’t quite make the Hogwarts curriculum:

1. Unforgivable Curses 101
2. Poetry with Filch
3. Sex Ed with Snape
4. Home Ec with Hagrid
5. AP Dark Arts
6. Paper, Ballpoint Pens, and Other Emerging Media
7. How to Make Friends and Imperio People
8. Expelliarmus: What CAN’T It Do?
9. Applied Necromancy
10. Introduction to Ritual Sacrifice
11. How to Succeed at Hogwarts Without Really Trying
12. Troll Language and Culture
13. Salazar Slytherin: The Man, the Myth, the Inventor of Modern Plumbing
14. Wizarding Civics & Government
15. Introduction to Electricity
16. Taxes, Health Insurance, and the Housing Market: A Beginner’s Course
17. Chaos Magic
18. The Care and Keeping of Blast-Ended Skrewts
19. Love Potions: An Ethics Seminar
20. Enchanted Calculus
21. Bewitched Geography
22. Regular Algebra
23. Parseltongue 101
24. Street Magic: A Performing Arts Seminar
25. Magical Moving Portraits and Surrealism
26. Introduction to Legilimency
27. The Horrifying Sentience of Portraits, Mandrakes, and the Sorting Hat
28. The Limitations of Owl Magic
29. Wizards and Outer Space
30. Mock Ministry of Magic
31. Astral Projection 101
32. Remedial Levitation
33. Fantasy Quidditch: How to Pick Your Draft
34. Topics in Comparative Media: Zombies and Inferi
35. AP Wandlore
36. History of Veela
37. Transfer Basics: A Seminar for the Student That Wants to Go to University
38. Gamp’s Law of Elemental Transfiguration and Economic Scarcity
39. The Meaning of Life
40. Azkaban, Criminal Justice, and the Absolutely Bonkers Wizarding Judicial System