Auntie SparkNotes: How Can I Get My Crush’s Number?

Dear Auntie,

I’m a junior in high school, and I’ve never been very good at making friends. This year, I started becoming friends with a girl in my grade and spending lunch with her and her friends. There’s about 10-12 of us on any given day, and I’ve started becoming friends with everyone else I spend lunch with. Which turned out to be a mistake, because I’ve had a crush on one of the guys I spend lunch with for several months now.

Crushes were so easy when I didn’t have friends. I never crushed on someone I talked to (because I didn’t talk to anyone), so I could just admire from a distance. Not this time. As the school year is ending I want to ask him out, or at least ask for his phone number. We’d probably hang out again next school year, but that’s so far off! He could be dating somebody else, or he could have moved, or he could be dead by then!

But I’ve never found a good time to bring it up because we never just hang out as the two of us. I maybe get a couple minutes alone with him once in a blue moon if we’re both the first people to get to lunch, but that’s it. I can’t really tell him I like him romantically or ask him out at lunch or study hall because there’s always other people around. And I’ve yet to find a good excuse to get his phone number.

There’s only a week of school left and I’m feeling desperate. I want to at least be able to get his phone number or find an excuse to hang out with him during summer break. I’m nauseous at the thought of asking him out but impatient enough to do it anyway. If only I could have a chance to talk to him one on one.

WELL THEN. Hold onto your butt, Sparkler, because I’ve got just the thing for you—and it’s going to blow your mind. In fact, it’s a solution tailor-made just for cases like this one, in which you need a low-risk way to get closer to someone you only know in a group setting. Because you want the guy’s number, right? But you can’t make an overture toward only him without also making it weird with your friends, right?

Then dude, how about this: you make an overture toward everyone. The next time you sit down at lunch, hand your phone (or a piece of paper and a pen) to the nearest person and say, “Can I get your guys’ numbers so we can stay in touch over the summer?”

And voila! When you get your phone back, you’ll have everyone’s contact info, your crush included—at which point all that’s left to do is blast a pair of double finger guns and moonwalk out of the room like the smooth operator you are. (Though of course, a truly smooth operator would never engage in such an overt celebration of his social successes, so when I say that you should moonwalk out of the room, I mean it figuratively. Moonwalk on the inside. MOONWALK IN YOUR HEART.)

Of course, that still leaves you to take the not-insignificant step of asking the guy out, or at least establishing one-on-one contact with the goal of making a romance happen. But I know you’ll manage it, because you’re cool and brave and bold like that—and also because you clearly sense the urgency of the situation, here. After all, you’re right! He could end up dating someone else, or getting hit by a bus, or (THE WORST) getting hit by a bus while on a date with someone else!

But if by any chance you’re coming up blank as far as figuring out a way to see him, let me be the first to suggest: that “let me get all your numbers” move? It also works for making plans. And where a school setting doesn’t leave a whole lot of room to get to know your crush one-on-one while surrounded by other folks, a group outing to the beach, a baseball game, or an amusement park will give you plenty of opportunities to test those waters—and maybe to spark an epic summer fling right out of the gate.

Got something to say? Tell us in the comments! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at advice@sparknotes.com.
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