Auntie SparkNotes: How Can I Write a Sneaky Love Song?

Hello Auntie!

There’s this guy I like, who I’ll call Richard. Richard is a guitarist that I met two years ago. Since then we’ve become close friends and we both like the same kind of music. Because of this, I want to write a song for him.

I’ve written songs before in multiple genres and on multiple instruments, so this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve even written songs about him before, but nothing I’d want to show him. For this particular situation, I want to write a sneaky, kind of sad love song that I can sing and play for him. He’s never successfully written a song, so it would not only show ability on my part, but also help me get my point across.

Why must this song be subliminal? That’s because I’m 98.6% sure he already knows I’m into him and he doesn’t seem totally interested in me. If the song’s message of love is more vague, then it might go over his head. However, if he IS into me, he might pick up on it since, like me, he’s a bit of a dreamer when it comes to love; looking for any possible sign.

Now, I’m in a ditch. I don’t know how to write a love song for Richard, who I’ve had a thing for ever since we met that has grown over time, that isn’t the equivalent if repeatedly shouting “I LOVE YOU” into his ear. Pouring my feelings out is embarrassing and obvious, especially to an analyst like him. Since my “subtle” hints have always been picked up by him before, I don’t fully trust myself in being a sneaky poet. I have the instrumental part finished. It’s just the words that are hanging me up. In short, how do I write a love song that doesn’t sound like a love song?

Oh, dear. I really, really hate it when I have to be the bearer of bad news.

But alas, Sparkler, I’m going to have to confirm what I suspect you already know, deep down in your heart of hearts: This plan of yours is an impossible, deluded dream.

And that’s because, as these things go, writing and performing an original song for someone is only slightly less obvious an expression of love than getting a portrait of his face tattooed in a heart-shaped border on your butt.* It’s not even about the lyrics, or the music, or the mood. It’s that the moment you say “I wrote this for you,” or even just, “I wrote this,” he’s going to know exactly what kind of song you’re singing and why you’re singing it to him. Even the most subtle of songs.

Of course, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Writing a song for this guy won’t leave any mystery as to how you feel about him, but it’s also pretty damn sweet; as overt declarations of affection go, you could do a lot worse. And hey, if nothing else, you probably won’t have to wonder after this whether he likes you back—because if he does, he’ll be delighted and flattered, and if he doesn’t… well, let’s be real, it’ll be the kind of awkward that makes people earnestly wish for death.

But that’s okay. Really. A confident, talented chickadee like yourself can certainly handle the discomfort and disappointment of being rejected, if that’s what you end up with. And if your friendship is solid, it’ll be strong enough to survive an unrequited crush confession with only a brief period of weirdness.

All that really matters is that you do whatever you’re going to do with courage, integrity, honesty, and a healthy dose of awareness as to what you hope to accomplish. Specifically, you’ll want to be realistic about the fact that you’re planning to express your feelings in a very unequivocal way to someone who doesn’t seem to reciprocate them, and what his likely response to that will be.

None of which is meant to discourage you, by the way. There are plenty of reasons why it might be worth it to sing that song, whether it’s because telling the truth about your feelings has value in its own right, or because you want to be brave enough to put yourself out there even when your hoped-for outcome doesn’t look likely, or because the experience of writing this song will be something you can write a whole other song about. And while I can’t say that your chances with this particular guy sound especially promising, I personally think it’s pretty awesome that you’re willing to take them, like a rockstar.

*Also not recommended.

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