Auntie SparkNotes: How Do I Put a Cute Outfit Together?
Dear Auntie SparkNotes,
I’m one of those people who LOVE wearing cargos and jumpers wherever because it feels nice and comfortable. I don’t usually enjoy going out to the mall and buying clothes because I hate how loud and bright and smelly the place is. But of course, I’m practically an adult by now, and I know the importance of looking good while going out.
The issue is that I apparently can’t choose a good combo of clothes when going out. Every time I come down wearing an outfit I thought was nice, my mum immediately sends me up to change. This could go on three times in a row, and I’m frankly embarrassed by this, having my mum dress me up because I can’t do it myself.
It’s not where I dress inappropriately (i.e., shorts and flipflops while going out to a dinner with friends). But where the pants and shirt don’t suit each other? I don’t really understand it. How do I know if something goes with another?
I’ll be honest with you, Sparkler: after many years of observation, Auntie SparkNotes has come to the conclusion that matching one article of clothing to another is a skill that some people are simply not equipped to perform. Ever. No matter how hard they try. (Hi, Dad. I love you!)
Of course, that doesn’t mean you’re one of those people. I’m just saying, if you were, you’re not alone—and just for the record, it’s not that important. Short of dressing like an actual hobo, you have a lot of room to be unstylish before it has a negative impact on your life.
That said, if you’re missing the gene for intuitively understanding the difference between two non-matching blacks or which fabrics do and don’t go with tweed, the best and simplest solution is to let other people do that work for you—which is to say, if you go to the mall, pick up a magazine, or scroll through the options on your favorite retailer’s website, you’ll find mannequins and/or models wearing pre-selected outfits made up of pieces that look good together. Or better yet, look up “capsule wardrobes” on Pinterest, pick the one you like best, and overhaul your entire closet in one fell swoop with ten versatile pieces that all go together in multiple combinations. It doesn’t necessarily make for the most interesting or unique aesthetic, but it does virtually guarantee that you’ll look nice—and if nothing else, it’ll be a good stop-gap measure while you develop a better sense for choosing outfits yourself.
That is, if choosing your outfits is actually a problem for you. Which is the other thing: It might not be. In fact, after rereading your letter, I’m much more struck by the fact that your mom is micromanaging your wardrobe in a way that is totally ridiculous and inappropriate for an adult (with a few extreme exceptions, e.g. you have a history of showing up to formal events without pants.) So while overhauling your closet with some expert help from the internet is a good start, it won’t be enough if you don’t also set some firm boundaries wherein you insist, from now on, on dressing yourself without input from Mom. Yes, it might be scary at first, and yes, you might end up leaving the house looking less than perfect (or even downright silly) a couple times—but this is a small price to pay for the basic, essential autonomy of getting to decide what to wear. Happy dressing.
Got something to say? Tell us in the comments! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at advice@sparknotes.com.
Want more info about how this column works? Check out the Auntie SparkNotes FAQ.
