Auntie SparkNotes: I’m Obsessed with a Certain Star Wars Baddie
ATTENTION ALL SPARKLERS: Auntie will be on vacation next week, so the next column will be up on April 4. If you need an advice fix in the meantime, check out the archives or one of our live advice chats! And if you want to stalk Auntie in her absence, you can find her on Instagram, eating croissants, probably.
Dear Auntie,
So about a month and a half ago, my friends and I went to the movies to see Star Wars Episode 7. Going into it, I was already a huge fan of the franchise and was certain I would probably love it. I did. And I also developed an obsession with Kylo Ren. Which isn’t weird, considering that Loki was always my favorite in the Avengers, and other similar cases in other movies. I just am naturally drawn to the bad guys, I guess. And I can relate to Kylo. I’ve always been sort of the “different” kid at school, people are always expecting me to be great like my parents were, and we share a lot of personality traits (unfortunately not necessarily positive). I’m extremely close to my mom’s father and black has always been my favorite color. I naturally was sort of drawn to Kylo and the idea that there was still the possibility of redemption.
Unfortunately, most of my friends HATE him. Sure, I know he did the unforgivable thing, but still. Every time it comes up, they always react like “Seriously? That guy was garbage.” or “What the heck how could you like such a jerk?” I don’t try to bring it up a lot, but it manages to squeeze into conversation every so often. I don’t want to annoy the crap out of my friends and I feel like the one time I brought up that I connect with the character was enough. I don’t obsess over Kylo Ren, but I still talk about him pretty much on a weekly basis, not enough that it gets in the way of my schoolwork or social skills as a whole. It just annoys a few of my friends, and I feel like I should be doing something to fix that. Should I keep my favorite character to myself? Should I force myself to like someone else?
What?! No! Of course not! Geez, dude. As a fan of Star Wars, surely you know that nothing good comes from denying the power of the Dark Side. The true heroes are the ones who acknowledge it, accept it, and learn to accept the harmony of light and dark within.
And of course, the entire point of Kylo Ren—and indeed, an overarching theme in Star Wars, period—is that heroes and villains are not easily divided by a big, bright, uncrossable line. (I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that Han Solo, the greatest space cowboy in the history of space cowboys, committed a calculated, cold-blooded murder within his first five minutes onscreen, despite George Lucas’ attempts to rewrite history to the contrary.)
With that said, though, I will also say this: If you know that your friends don’t share your enthusiasm for (spoiler alert) Han and Leia’s wayward son, then it’s kind of a no-brainer that they also aren’t your best audience when you want to show someone the new acrylic-on-velvet painting you’ve done of him (even though it is, of course, beyond fabulous).
So, how about this: You’re welcome to mention Kylo Ren when appropriate, i.e. when someone brings him up or asks you who your favorite character it. But you should still strive not to knowingly annoy your friends, who are never going to give you the kind of Kylo fangirl support you’re looking for anyway. Especially when there’s a whole internet out there who not only shares your feelings about Kylo Ren, but will celebrate them, exalt them, and talk about them with you until even you can’t stand it anymore. Those are your people, young Jedi. Find them. And may the Force be with you.
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