Auntie SparkNotes: My K-Pop-Obsessed Sister Is Driving Me Crazy

Dear Auntie,

I get that my sister can like whatever she wants, but lately she has been getting out of control. Ever since she discovered this Korean boy band, she has done nothing but talk about them. All. The. Time.

I was fine with it at first because I thought it would be a phase like that one time she was watching this french show that made her want to go to Paris. However, my sister began to change deeply. Now, she would only talk to me in Korean, only listen to Korean music, and forces me to watch Korean dramas with her. It’s gotten out of hand.

As much as I want to tell her to stop, I also respect that she is allowed to like what she likes. Is there anything I can do in this situation?

Why, yes! Yes, there is! All you need is to follow these two simple steps:

Develop your own equally-annoying fixation to counteract your sister’s—with Lord of the Rings, for instance.
The next time she comes at you with a bunch of K-Pop-obsessed craziness, respond in kind! And preferably in Entish. (It takes a very long time to say anything in Entish, which means she’ll be begging you to stop before you’ve even finished asking her to prove she’s not an orc. MWAHAHAHA.)

…Of course, this plan is not without its downsides, chief among them the fact that a) it’s incredibly immature, and b) learning Entish is danged difficult, even before you have to consider the challenges of cosplaying as a giant tree. So, perhaps a Plan B is in order—one where you let your sister like what she likes, but you draw the line at letting her tastes be the driving force behind everything you do together. If you’d rather put a campfire out with your face than watch another minute of K-drama, put on something else (bonus if you invite her to watch it with you). If you’re tired of hearing about the precise shape, size, and rhythmic jiggle of the boy band leader’s buttocks, change the subject or exit the conversation. And if you don’t like talking in Korean (or don’t speak the language, period), then institute a policy of acknowledging and answering only if she speaks to you in English (ideally in combination with a casual warning: “Sis, I’m impressed that you’re teaching yourself Korean, but not being able to communicate with you is driving me crazy. If you want to talk to me, you’ve gotta use our native language”).

That said, you’re right that your sister is ultimately allowed to like what she likes as passionately as she wants to, and it’s not your place to tell her otherwise. And for what it’s worth, she’s not going to be mainlining Korean pop culture forever; she’s just excited, and she wants to both share and validate her excitement by bringing other people on board. (There’s actually a compliment for you hidden inside your sister’s aggravating behavior: namely, she wouldn’t be so keen to involve you in her obsession if she didn’t care a lot about you and what you think.) But in the meantime, you do get to choose how much you make yourself a willing audience to discussing all her favorite things, versus how often you redirect your interactions into territory you find more enjoyable.

Got something to say? Tell us in the comments! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at advice@sparknotes.com.
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