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Blogging The Scarlet Letter: Part 3 (Chapters 4-6)

Previously in Blogging The Scarlet Letter, Hester was  being  escorted back into the prison after  refusing  to tell anyone who the father of her baby is.

Chapter 4: The Interview

Hester is panicked because the husband she hasn’t seen or heard from in about two years just gave her  the universal “shh” signal  from the crowd onlooking her public punishment. A useful  thing I learned from  Criminal Minds is that there’s  an 85% chance this guy will murder me in my sleep.

We learn that Husband  has been going by the pseudonym  of Roger CHILLINGWORTH, which is going in my bucket of laziest villain names in  literature. (Really Anita, you didn’t believe  CRUELLA DE VIL  had ulterior motives?)

Good news: Chillingworth is currently in prison  (he is contained).

Bad news: Chillingworth is currently in  THIS prison (he is contained in close proximity to Hester).

Not because he reeks  of immorality, but because the  Native Americans are negotiating his ransom.  Somehow, he convinces the jail officer that he’s a doctor and  claims he has  a tonic to calm the nerves of Hester and her screaming baby. The  officer escorts him to her cell and then gives them some privacy, which appears  to be acceptable  protocol.


Me upon hearing this news

via GIPHY

Hester is  terrified when he shows up to her  cell. So is the baby, who  can’t eat solids but already has a moral compass. Chillingworth  offers them the tonic, to which Hester responds how anyone would when their crazy ex slides back into their DMs:

Hester:  Are you about to poison  me and my newborn? Because it sort of feels like you are.
Chillingworth:  What could possibly be the reason for doing that?
Hester:  I cheated on you multiple times and then had someone else’s child out of wedlock, thereby tarnishing your reputation and  putting your family to shame.
Chillingworth:  Oh, that.  Nope!

Hester’s not convinced. I’m not either. But Chillingworth’s tonic calms the baby (tg), so Hester agrees to drink it too. It doesn’t appear to have any negative effects.

He rambles a little about how he probably shouldn’t have married her in the first place because her youth and mind  were being wasted on his old,  dismissive peanut shell  of a self. Don’t  let this fool you, because his next words are:  “Anyway, the real reason you’re in here because I’m foolish and you’re weak. You’re weak because you cheated on me, and I’m foolish because I shoulda seen it coming from A MILE AWAY.”

Don’t make me feel bad for you and then pull the old original sin bait and switch on me, ROGER. I’m so  angry about this that my eye is twitching!!1! Hester  responds:

“Thou knowest that I was frank with thee. I felt no love, nor feigned any. Straight up.”

I added that last part. FIGHT THE PATRIARCHY, HESTER!

After a  few more unsolicited comments (including  that even though he WILL find out who the father is, he  definitely won’t seek revenge, oh no no no, definitely not *Nicholas Cage smile*), Hester  asks, observantly:

“Why not announce thyself openly, and cast me off at once?”

“It may be,” he replied, “because I will not encounter the dishonor that besmirches the husband of a faithless woman. It may be for other reasons.”

………….WHAT OTHER REASONS? Hester is calm about this but I suspect she has no choice, due to being trapped in a prison cell with a  Criminal Minds suspect. The last line she  manages before he leaves  is, paraphrased: “WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME  LIKE THAT?” We don’t get an  answer because the chapter ends here.

Chapter 5: Hester at Her Needle

Hester is finally free to leave the prison, under the condition that she must wear the scarlet letter for the rest of her life. In place of getting the hell out of there,  she  decides to stick around. There  are two  reasons for this. The first is  that she feels her life has been ‘too deeply marked’ by the incident to leave, whatever that means. The  second reason is that she  doesn’t want to leave her baby daddy (WHOOOO?) on this side of the Atlantic.

Hester  earns a living by doing embroidery commissions for the whole town, who first recognized  her talent back when she emerged  from the jailhouse with the  elaborate  handmade  A  on her dress.  I  having a feeling  she did this on purpose  (!).

There is virtually no dialogue in this chapter, but that doesn’t stop Nathaniel Hawthorne from telling us in PAINSTAKING  detail that Hester has, over the course of a few years, Boo Radley-d  herself into  a shack in the woods. She’s lonely there. You can’t outsource embroidery work to anthropomorphic  field mice  in Puritan New England  and she has no other friend prospects. Plus, children keep daring each other to peek in her  window and get themselves spooked like she’s some kind of witch. Is she a witch? I don’t know.

Hester is strictly  forbidden from embroidering wedding veils, because the town  harlot doing needlework for chaste brides would be an absolute scandal. The town  harlot  working on military sashes, ballgowns, funeral garbs, baby clothes, gloves of state officials, and the Governor’s collar doesn’t seem to be a problem, however. I know what you’re thinking: Didn’t the  Puritans only wear, like, shapeless  black shrouds  and repurposed potato sacks?  I thought so too.

The next few pages are about  the daily torture of wearing the scarlet letter. She’s feeling pretty alienated at this point. Like, clergymen give improvised  adultery sermons when she comes  to their church and children chuck  pebbles in her general direction. This is one of  my favorite lines so far because  it’s both a beautifully crafted sentence and a summary  of Mean Girls:

Dames of elevated rank, likewise, whose doors she entered in the way of her occupation, were accustomed to distill drops of bitterness into her heart; sometimes through that alchemy of quiet malice, by which women can concoct a subtle poison from ordinary trifles; and sometimes, also, by a coarser expression, that fell upon the sufferer’s defenseless breast like a rough blow upon an ulcerated wound.

via GIPHY

It’s feeling like Purgatory, population: ONE over here, but Hester is  not the only person  in the history of this town who’s cheated on a spouse. She begins to get a sixth sense whenever an adulterer passes her by in the street (CC: Marvel).

Chapter 6: Pearl

The first thing we learn is that Hester names her daughter “Pearl” because she was a “great price,—purchased with all she had,—her mother’s only treasure!” My only treasure is a very specific  brand of peanut butter, so heaven  help me if I have to give that up to bear children.

Three-year-old  Pearl has the “fiery lustre” and warfare of her  mother’s spirit. This translates to:  throwing temper tantrums, having  imaginary friends, and screaming “I have no Heavenly Father!” in public. The town  immediately deems her an “imp of evil” for these things, which I think is pretty  fair from  a Puritan perspective.

One day, Hester gets fed up with Pearl’s  antics and asks, “Child, what art thou?” Pearl replies  by demanding to know more about her origins. Let me remind you that this child is three. When I was three I threw  Cheerios at my sister’s  head, took a nap, and called it a day.

This kid is smart. Not close-up-magic-on-the-red-carpet smart, but definitely no-qualms-about-committing-heresy-to-get-your-way smart.

Thoughts/conclusions:

  • So far, all of this has been exposition. I don’t know about you, but some action might be nice.
  • Luckily I’m a terrible person and flipped ahead, so  I saw that in the next chapter there is PLOT and DIALOGUE  and the  phrase  “demon origins.”
  • My main concern right now is  the whereabouts of Roger Chillingworth.
  • Never  underestimate a woman who is capable of running an  Etsy empire from a prison cell.

Find the next chapter and every installment  of Blogging Scarlet Letter HERE, and an index of all our  Blogging the Classics titles HERE.