Now, contrary to the expression my face does whenever I talk about it, I didn’t HATE the Series of Unfortunate Events movie. I just feel a little bit like Paramount and DreamWorks Pictures owe me money for whatever happened with that. I mean, it was a promising idea that somehow went nowhere. Jim Carrey was in it. Meryl Streep was in it. Jude Law narrated it. What went wrong?
But who cares? We’re getting a shot at redemption here, and it all starts with casting the elder Baudelaire orphans. As of this week, Violet will be played by Malina Weissman, who you might recognize as the younger version of Supergirl on the CBS show of the same name. Bookish Klaus will be played by Louis Hynes, about whom I could find absolutely nothing even after I Googled his name not just once but twice. But maybe using two relatively unknown actors is the way to go. Hopefully they’ll be able to override the voice in my head that says Emily Browning and Liam Aiken are Violet and Klaus, respectively. Because whatever faults the movie had (why, oh why, would you try to shoehorn three stellar books into a single two-hour film? Even The Hobbit somehow managed to stretch a 300-page children’s novel into a trilogy), we can’t deny that their casting was on point.
Now let’s talk about the wicked, wheezy, unibrow-laden antagonist Count Olaf. Neil Patrick Harris is currently in talks to play him, but it doesn’t look like anything’s set in stone. In this day and age, NPH is mostly known for playing the smooth-talking womanizer Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother, but have you seen Gone Girl? Dude can give off weird, creepy vibes like you wouldn’t believe. Personally, I can see it. This could work. But just in case it doesn’t, let’s talk about who else might fit the bill.
Look, we’ve all seen Goblet of Fire. We all knew the Tenth Doctor had a suitably creepy side lying in wait under those disarming good looks, just yearning to break free. But David Tennant proved once in for all in Jessica Jones that he can frighten the Netflix viewers of the nation with just his acting chops and nary a tongue flick.
I’m not sure if Kevin Spacey has ever played a role that didn’t leave me feeling slightly soiled. Maybe not quite so much in K-PAX, but that’s because I didn’t know enough, man. I just didn’t know. I didn’t know what we were in for with 21 and House of Cards.
Daniel Day-Lewis can do anything and everything. It’s been four years since Lincoln, so I feel like it’s time for him to resurface and bless us all with his greatness.
He’s the OG Count Olaf, and if you’re telling me his wacky interpretation of the character didn’t change your life, then you’ve clearly forgotten that time he pretended to be a raptor before it was cool. But was he TOO hilarious? Too goofy? Too over-the-top? DISCUSS.