CALLING ALL SPARKLERS: What Would You Title Your Autobiography?
One day, I hope to have engaged in enough tomfoolery to fill an autobiography. I think people would like my autobiography. At the very least, I think they’d pick it up in a bookstore out of casual interest and then absentmindedly put it back in the wrong section.
The title? I think I’ll call it Didn’t See That One Coming: The Elodie Story. The opening chapter will feature a hilarious anecdote about that one time I got hit by a fly ball at a baseball game. The lesson in the end will be that sometimes life throws you curveballs, and other times the visiting team’s batter fouls off a pitch and sends a proverbial meteor straight into your elbow and you drop a basket of breadsticks you spent 20 minutes waiting in line for. I don’t know about you guys, but I smell a New York Times best seller.
I started that paragraph with absolutely no idea where it was going and now I’m kind of impressed with myself. Other ideas I had along the way:
- Poor Life Decisions: The Elodie Story
- B- For Effort
- A Life in Pajamas
- Not Ready, Unwilling, and Unable
- The Life and Times of Elodie, International Spy and Billionaire: (Loosely) Based On a True Story
I’m guessing you guys know what I’m going to ask of you now, so here it goes: what would you call your memoirs? What words of infinite wisdom would you slap on a book cover? Sure, it’s a daunting task. But I just had to share a painful childhood memory involving the breadsticks that never were; the least you guys can do is level with me here.
BONUS: We’ll be illustrating your autobiography ideas in a future slideshow! DOUBLE BONUS: I won’t be the one drawing them, it’ll be someone who actually knows what they’re doing! Man, this day just keeps getting better.
Are we excited to see the titles you come up with? UH, WE HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED FOR ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES. Feel free to submit more than one title‚it’s good to give the New York Times some options, ja feel?
