Every Book on Your English Syllabus, Summed Up in John Mulaney Quotes

I’m just going to say it: there are too many books. 

If the average person reads, say, ten books per year, then they’ll ultimately only read about 800 of the approximately 129,864,880 books in existence, a number I got by typing “How many books are there” into Google and then refusing to research the matter further. (Is that number current? Does it account for self-publishing? I don’t know! It’s none of my business!) 

These are dispiriting figures, and a grim reminder that our lives are but a negligible blip on the timeline of history. Yikes. Where was I going with this? I had a point… oh yeah! Here is every book you’ll have to read in English class summed up in a quote by comedian (and English major) John Mulaney, because while it may not be the same as actually reading the books themselves, at the very least you might get a chuckle out of it and forget for one brief and shining moment that death is coming.