I keep telling myself I will watch all the movies in the MCU, and then I continue not doing that.
This has been going on for several years now. I told myself I would watch them all before Civil War, before Endgame, before the Wandavision finale. And yet—after each and every deadline had passed me by—there I would sit, content merely to PRETEND I had seen The Incredible Hulk when nothing could be further from the truth.
Black Widow just graced our screens (finally!), and the rest of Phase 4 is right around the corner. “I’ll definitely go back and watch Age of Ultron before Eternals comes out,” everyone keeps telling themselves, lying egregiously. I know this because I have been there. I have been where you currently are. I was that liar.
You are not going to watch all the movies. Let’s just come to terms with that right now. You are going to sit on your couch with the best of intentions and briefly consider watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2, and then you are going to watch twelve episodes of a TV show you have already seen instead. In fact, the only way you might possibly watch all of the movies before is if your boss emails you asking if you have finished making that slideshow you agreed to make many months ago (you know, the one where you sum up all the movies in a single sentence? That one), and you email back, “Oh definitely. In fact, I’m almost done!”
But if you don’t have a boss emailing you and also you don’t have time to watch anything, here are all the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe as described in short, sweet, easily digestible run-on sentences. The SparkNotes of the MCU, if you will.