SparkNotes Blog

From the Diaries of Minerva McGonagall: August 24, 1954

Dear Diary,

I am on the train to London. I may never see Dougal again—or worse, and more likely, I’ll see him every time I visit my family.

I keep thinking of his face, when I said I could not marry him. I knocked on his door and I could tell he knew, the minute he saw me, but I still had to say it, I still had to take the ring off my finger, and I still had to put the ring into his hand because he would not take it from mine.

Before I walked to his father’s farm I wanted to put a charm on the ring, so that he would always stay safe. Then I thought I should put a love charm on the ring, so that whomever he marries will love him as much as I do. But Professor Dumbledore taught us that love charms always fail; love is something bigger than magic, and cannot be controlled by it.

But I gave up love for magic.

The hardest part is that I could not tell him why I had changed my mind. He said “I knew you didn’t really want to, I always knew,” and I wanted to tell him that I was doing this so I did not have to keep the truth of who I was a secret, but of course I could not tell him because I have to keep the truth of who I am a secret.

It’s a snake eating its own tail, and here’s its twin: if I told Dougal that I was going to work for the Ministry of Magic, I’d lose my job at the Ministry of Magic. So instead I let him think that I was fickle and callous and then I left for London early. I did not tell anyone beside my family I was going, but I have no doubt that when I arrive, someone from the Ministry will be there to meet me. They know everything. They may already know about Dougal and the ring. It will be a relief if I never have to tell them.

Now I must begin my new life, and treat it like the life I always wanted. Which would have been true, before this summer. Which still is true—even though it breaks my heart to think of it.

I hope Dougal will think of me fondly, once his own heartbreak has healed.

Yours faithfully,

Minerva

Previously in The Diaries of Minerva McGonagall

How likely are you to ever get over the breakup of Dougal and Minerva on a scale of one to pack of centaurs howling in the Forbidden Forest?