SparkNotes Blog

If Alexander Hamilton Could Text

If there’s anything we’ve learned about Alexander Hamilton from one whole year of rap battles and choreographed dance numbers, it’s that he had a lot to say. In fact, the man was so voluble that I’m surprised he doesn’t rise from the grave every time anyone anywhere expresses an opinion just so he can give us his Thoughts on the Subject.

Last time we did this, we condensed the entire hours-long musical into just a few texts. Now we’re focusing on the ten-dollar Founding Father himself, because if you don’t think Hams would’ve triple-texted with impunity, then you can get out of my face.