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POTTERMORE UPDATE: J.K. Rowling Talks 1920s America & Also Makes My Wildest Dreams Come True

Ever since we found out Fantastic Beasts would be taking place in New York City during the Jazz Age, I’ve been trying to make 1920s slang happen. AND TODAY IT DID. In her final “History of Magic in North America” piece, J.K. Rowling waxed poetic about American wandmakers and the fallout from the Dorcus debacle, but she also used the term “Gigglewater,” and I think my soul ascended to another dimension.

First things first: remember Dorcus Twelvetrees? She almost blew the lid off this whole wizards thing, resulting in American magic folk operating with much more secrecy than their European counterparts. I’m guessing this will come into play during Fantastic Beasts. I’m guessing Eddie Redmayne will be conspicuously casting spells left and right while American wizards shout, “HE’S GOING TO EXPOSE US ALL. SOMEBODY STOP THAT GLORIOUSLY FRECKLED SPECIMEN OF A MAN.”

Committing a major blunder actually became known in the common tongue as “pulling a Dorcus.” I get that. Accidentally slapping someone’s face during a misguided high-five is destined to be known as “pulling an Elodie.”

The Great Sasquatch Rebellion occurred in 1892. This resulted in the Magical Congress of the United States of America moving from Washington to New York City, because nothing fantastic or beast-related could ever possibly happen there.

Unlike Great Britain, where Ollivander’s wands reigned supreme, the USA had four wandmakers. One of them was Violetta Beauvais, who hailed from New Orleans and whose wands contained hairs from the swampland dog-monster of my nightmares called the rougarou. I mention this one specifically because it was said that these wands “took to Dark magic like vampires to blood,” which sounds like they were saddled with a Slytherin-like reputation. But many wizarding war heroes used Beauvais wands, and even the current MACUSA president, Seraphina Picquery, possessed one.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, PRESIDENT PICQUERY WAS A VERY COOL LADY AND I KIND OF WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. Wizards didn’t care much for Prohibition. While critics said that it was difficult not to notice intoxicated wizards in cities full of sober Muggles, President Picquery just said nah: “The Gigglewater,” she reportedly explained, “is non-negotiable.” I think I’m in love.

So there you have it! The stage has been set. We’ve got the notoriously anti-magic backdrop of North America suddenly positioned to host magical creatures enthusiast Newt Scamander, along with his briefcase full of beasts and his perfect ginger coif. I don’t know about you guys, but I am ready. Possibly I was born ready. November 18th is still EONS away, but with drive, determination, and a steady stream of set photos featuring the national treasure that is Eddie Redmayne’s hair, I think we just might make it.

Correction: we will only make it if we receive DAILY PIX of our fave gorgeous, freckled specimen of a man. But our drooling aside, what did you think of all the Pottermore updates this week? Do they make you more excited for FBAWTFT than ever??