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Quarantine Life Described in Literary Quotes

The words “This is a difficult time for all of us” appear on every ad I see, every website I visit, every e-mail I send to my teacher explaining why I forgot to attend the Zoom session (again). Sure, this go-to phrase is short, sweet, and perfectly sums up the UNPRECEDENTED time we’re living in—but imagine how much more interesting this would all be if we used quotes from literature to sum things up instead. For instance, Arthur Conan Doyle capturing the panic of an empty toilet paper aisle? Sign me up. 

When toilet paper was the first thing to go:
“Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.” — A Case of Identity, Arthur Conan Doyle

When you have to gently explain to your grandparents that, no, cell phone towers did not cause the pandemic:
“Teach the ignorant as much as you can.” — Les Misérables, Victor Hugo

When you don’t take a shower for a week because there’s no reason to do so:
“The world, that understandable and lawful world, was slipping away.” — Lord of the Flies, William Golding

When you have a Zoom meeting and you put on a nice shirt but keep your pajamas pants:
“Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!” — Marmion: A Tale of Flodden Field, Sir Walter Scott

When you wanted more free time to get things done but now that you have it you’re scrolling through Tiktok dances:
“In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” — Lady Windermere’s Fan: A Play About a Good Woman, Oscar Wilde

When you think it’s still March but somehow it’s May:
“O, call back yesterday, bid time return…” — Richard II, William Shakespeare

When the government kind of confirmed the existence of aliens but nobody cared: 
“‘Tis strange — but true.” — Don Juan, Lord Byron

When you start to actually miss leaving the house, something you used to hate:
“What’s happened to me?” — The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka 

When you find yourself washing your hands 47 times per day:
“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?” — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

When everyone’s stuck in their homes but at least carbon emissions are down:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” — Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens 

When you have breakfast for dinner because time is irrelevant and nothing matters:
“It’s always six o’clock now.” — The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carrol 

When you come back from grocery store and have to sanitize your groceries (and yourself) for approximately five hours before you can eat anything:
“Out, damned spot! Out, I say!” — Macbeth, William Shakespeare

When websites want you to buy their stuff but they gotta be tactful:
“But it is this gloom which appears to have taken so strong a hold of your mind that I wish to dissipate.” — Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

When you feel yourself going stir-crazy and have to remind yourself everyone else is, too: 
“We’re all mad here.” — The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carrol