Everyone else thinks of Leonardo DiCaprio as that one actor who always plays serious-slash-scary characters and wanted that Oscar so. darn. bad. this year. But anyone who came to blush around the ~Age of Leo~ will never let go of that epic swoon factor he brought to the screen—and every teen mag cover of the ’90s—because that guy was SO YUM.
Whether you’ll ever be able to choose a fave from his heart-throbby character collection (impossible), we can help you figure out which one’s the best pretend boyfriend match for you right here.
What’s the most exciting talent a guy can have?
A. Word-slinging. Wax poetic, and I am yours! B. Art! The term “sketchy” takes a whole new meaning when you think about some fingers working magic with charcoals. C. Entertaining. I’m all about keeping fancy company. D. Impressions! Gotta love a spot-on impersonation artist. E. Plain ol’ hard work. There’s nothing more appealing than a good work ethic, IMHO.
What’s your ideal fashion style for a mate?
A. I’m all about the runway-ready apparel approach. B. Keep it casual most of the time, but then hit me with some debonair duds once in a while, too. C. Go to the ninest nines, and I’ll meet you there. D. Throwback threads are my jam. E. The business dress code is my go-to mode.
How do we feel about accessories on guys?
A. Nah, who needs ‘em. B. Slick suspenders really don’t get enough play these days. C. A nice watch is a MUST. D. Hats are where it’s at. E. I’m good with a tie, maybe, but anything else is overkill.
What kind of fancy food would your idea fella prepare for you?
A. A dish of exotic fish. B. Snails and caviar, of course. C. Some decadent display of desserts because I’ve got a sweet tooth like whoa right now. D. IDK, maybe some bread?
E. Fancy? Pfft. I’ll take a plate of scrambled eggs and a smile, thanks.
Where would you most like to settle down?
A. Somewhere urban and maybe a little chaotic is cool with me. B. A small town near the water is where I’m daydreaming of laying down roots. C. If I had my way, I’d end up at an estate just outside of New York. D. Paris, Rome, Prague … Just get me somewhere European. E. Anywhere but the boring old suburbs is all I’m sayin’.
Which of these quotes is most inspiring to you?
A. “Be satisfied!” B. “When you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose.” C. “My life has got to be like this, it’s got to keep going up.” D. “I wear the mask. It does not wear me.” E. “Knowing what you’ve got, knowing what you need, knowing what you can do without—that’s inventory control.”
What era of time is your favorite from history?
A. The Renaissance. B. The turn of the twentieth century. C. The Roaring Twenties. D. The Middle Ages. E. 1950s Americana.
Tally up all your letters and see which lovable Leo is going to be grooming it up at your pretend wedding (JK, but not really).
Mostly As – Romeo from Romeo + Juliet: “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” is basically your bae call right now because you’ve got a real-deal thing for the uber romantic, all-in passion plays of this Shakespearean hottie.
Mostly Bs – Jack Dawson from Titanic: Chances are you’d give up ten of those gaudy necklaces if you could resurrect this handsome world wanderer from his watery end. And you’re probably still fuming about the fact that yes, he so could have fit on that door-boat thingamabob too, harrumph. You’ll never let go of that heartbreaking screen good-bye. CRY.
Mostly Cs – Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby: Turn it up because you’re all about the guy who knows how to bring the house down. Who cares if it’s all an empty show that can’t possibly last; this guy knows how to make a grand gesture and live in the now, and his style is always the sleekest of anyone around.
Mostly Ds – Philippe from The Man in the Iron Mask: This tortured soul whose spirit never foundered is the one you wanna rescue from the deep, and who could blame you? Not only is he a total sweetheart who deserves way better than his lot, but he cleans up pretty nicely as well.
Mostly Es – Frank Wheeler from Revolutionary Road: Putting aside the tragic parts of the Wheeler fam, it’s Frank’s strength of character as a total dreamer who knows when to put nose to the grind and provide for his people that’s right up your faux beau alley.