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Quiz: Which Literary Villain Are You?

We all have a dark side, and while we may spend 90% of our time as the heroes of our life story, there’s still that other 10% when we’re not so nice. So if you’re feeling a bit wicked today, take this quiz and learn just what flavor of infamy you are.

1. Your bad side is primarily motivated by

A. Revenge

B. Insecurity

C. Greed

D. A desire for everything to be correct.


2. Your secret lair is

A. An underground stronghold.

B. A forbidding manor.

C. The garret of an old house.

D. A corner office in the halls of power.


3. You are good when

A. It comes to protecting your people.

B. You chicken out from being truly evil.

C. Once, by accident, and it was horrible.

D. You are ordered to be.


4. Your evil theme song is

A. “Imperial March,” John Williams

B. “Tear You Apart,” She Wants Revenge

C. “In The Hall of the Mountain King,” Edvard Grieg

D. “I Want It Now,” Veruca Salt (Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory)


5. Your preferred method of destroying your enemies is:

A. To destroy their friends.

B. Public humiliation.

C. Rube Goldberg-esque machinations.

D. By the letter of the law.


6. In your defense, you

A. Are the lesser of two evils.

B. Can’t help how you were raised.

C. Are at least flamboyantly, joyfully evil.

D. Are just following orders.


7. You’re most dangerous when

A. You think you’re doing good.

B. You feel you have something to prove.

C. You have your friends backing you up.

D. People underestimate you.


8. Your preferred costume is

A. Military-style uniform.

B. Eyeliner for DECADES.

C. You’re a master of disguise; you like to change it up.

D. You try to look as harmless as possible.


9. When you’re gone, you’d like people to say:

A. They made the hard choices.

B. They were full of a secret pain that no one even appreciated.

C. They were devilishly attractive and talented.

D. They were the literal worst. (You do not care one jot about what they say about you.)

So which villain are you?

Mostly As: President Alma Coin. What makes for the truest and most terrifying villains is that they believe themselves to be good. So if you’re on the villainous side of the Coin (so to speak) just make sure you’re “ends versus means” scales stay relatively balanced.

Mostly Bs: Draco Malfoy. You fall into the “tortured villains” subset, and you’re determined to torture everybody else. Just make sure that all your victims know, before you send them to their doom, that you’re doing it because of your FEELINGS.

Mostly Cs: Count Olaf. “Villain” is the role of a lifetime, and you are going to play it with brio. You have your reasons for all the scheming and plotting, but mostly, you love to be bad. So sue you.

Mostly Ds: Dolores Umbridge. You fall into the “lawful evil” box, and that’s what makes you such an absolute nightmare to oppose. Your pen is mightier than your sword, and by “mighty” I mean “an instrument of torture.”

Are you bad to the bone? Were you born this way?