I will freely admit I’ve made some bad decisions. Ordering spaghetti on a first date, for one thing. (It was messy.) Going rollerblading in a tornado, for another. (I hit a mailbox.) Furthermore, my freshman year of high school was just one mistake after another (I wore a lot of cropped vests), and don’t even get me started on the Fourth of July snafu of 2017. (I took a wrong turn and wound up in the parade. Fun for Ferris Bueller, less fun for someone who was already running late to lunch.)
I mention all of this to assure you I have some experience in the field. See, this list is not a call-out or a condemnation; rather it is a celebration of my fellow (fictional) morons who wouldn’t know a good decision if it jumped out in front of them shouting, “Pick me! Pick me!” So without further ado, here are six fictional characters whose decision-making skills make me (a person who once shoved a large stick into a beehive when she was eight) look like an absolute genius.