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These Harry Potter Would-You-Rathers Are Ex-CRUCIO-tingly Hard

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In addition to offering the finest in witty literary commentary and the occasional breathtaking #gryffindoraesthetic moodboard, we here at SparkLife are in the business of existential crises and crushing heartbreak, and baby, BUSINESS IS GOOD. To wit: our inexhaustible supply of grueling, emotionally destructive Harry Potter-themed would-you-rather questions, produced by Elodie’s brilliant, tormented mind (WHO HURT YOU, ELODIE). We’ve smashed them all together into one glorious gut-punch of a slideshow, and we triple-dog-dare you to get through it without falling to your knees, shaking your fists at the heavens, and screaming, “CURSE YOU, ELODIE! A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!” (Spoiler alert: you’re going to fail. You’re going to fail SPECTACULARLY.)