Thanks to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, we’ve gotten some crucial status updates on most of our forever loves: Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and their kiddos… Even Draco Malfoy and Dudley Dursley each got a smidgen of grown-up redemption! There were still some characters that were mysteriously M.I.A. in the new gen, though, and since J.K. Rowling has dropped a supersize sadbomb to say that the Harry Potter series is officially dunzo now (sob!), we decided to do a little Rita Skeeter-style sleuthing and figure out where our old pals are at now for ourselves.
Sadly, this hero didn’t get a mention in Cursed Child, in real-time or in those wacky flashback scenes. However, we do know that she’s not quite the Quibbler aficionado that she used to be. In a post-Deathly Hallows web chat, J.K. Rowling graciously revealed that not only is Luna the middle-namesake of Harry and Ginny’s daughter, but she also turned to the art of naturalism as a professional interest (bring on those thestrals!) and got married to Rolf Scamander, the grandson of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them author Newt Scamander. They’ve got two kiddos named Lorcan and Lysander, and they probably live in a round castle where she likes to spend her downtime dressing up in her iconic lioness headdress to entertain her children’s fancy. Oh, and her glasses fashion game is still totally on-point, no doubt about it.
After the tragic deaths of both his parents—Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks—orphaned little Teddy moved in with his grandmother Andromeda and grew up to be a prized Hufflepuff at Hogwarts. Harry was named his godfather, so he also had some paternal guidance. Also, he and Victoire Weasley (Bill and Fleur’s daughter) became a romantic item at school. You won’t find him out howling at the moon like his dad did, but he does have the same metamorphmagus gifts as his mum. Though we don’t know for certain, chances are he and Victoire eventually made it official and finally made the Lupin line run with the Weasleys once and for all. Can you even imagine the mischief their babies would get into if they inherited their dad’s chameleonic gifts and their mom’s heritage for hijinks? The fanfic writes itself here, guys.
Neville was one of the underrated heroes of the young wizarding world, but his ending seems far from happy. Gulp. While his penchant for plants paid off when he became the new herbology professor at Hogwarts after Pomona Sprout, he and fellow Dumbledore’s Army alum Hannah Abbott also took over the Leaky Cauldron for a while. The duplicitous Rita Skeeter reported that the two, who had no children of their own, got a little carried away with their fire whiskey, possibly out of resentment for the fame that followed the Potter-Granger-Weasley names instead of his own. Sad Neville is sad? Say it ain’t so!
J.K. Rowling has already revealed that Cho Chang married a muggle after finishing up her term at Hogwarts, but what else? Well, considering the Ravenclaw seeker had been through more than her fair share of sads—her boyfriend Cedric Diggory died, then she was betrayed by her bestie Marietta Edgecombe after defying her parents to join the D.A., and she came back to fight in the Battle at Hogwarts—there’s a chance Cho just packed up her wand and broom and said to heck with all this crazy magical business. She was a born wizard, sure, but that doesn’t mean she has to stay one.
We gotta assume the love potion-slinging Gryffindor was among the survivor count at the Battle of Hogwarts—since she wasn’t part of the in memoriam roster—but did she ever find true love? Hard to say. But given this gal’s brass inability to take “no” for an answer, chances are she went far in life. Her early preference for potions could make her a shoo-in for Snape’s old department. Let’s just hope she’s stayed away from the more emotional elixirs.
The zany divination professor kept her place at the top of the North Tower for years to come after the Battle at Hogwarts (a fate which she surely saw coming for herself), but after her retirement from the school, ironically little is known about her future? If we had to guess, we’d bet she’s out there reading the tea leaves of random passersby and continuing to get a kick out of the fact that no one takes her seriously ’cause she knows things. She was probably even secretly foretold the Albus Dumbledore-Scorpius Malfoy time-turner travel drama when she predicted that the servant (Voldemort’s daughter instead of Wormtail?) would return to revive Lord Voldemort. Let that sink in.