Let’s face facts: at some point or another, we are all going to be saddled with a bunch of morons and forced to make a PowerPoint about the Dust Bowl. We are also, despite our best efforts, going to be that person. Which person? Glad you asked. Please surrender your entire sense of self and consult the Zodiac to find out:
Aries More often than not, you are the person in charge. You’re the one who’s going to drag this ragtag team of unruly misfits to an A- or die trying. You may not actually WANT to take up the mantle of leadership, but, well, you should’ve thought about that before you were so gosh darn dependable. Due to a burdensome combination of reliability and basic common sense, people seem to think you’re the kind of person who should be in charge of things, so you frequently wind up having this responsibility foisted upon you whether you like it or not.
You are patient and reliable, and your handwriting falls somewhere between “passable” and “excellent,” so usually you wind up being the note-taker. Like the bards and scribes of yore, it’s your job to put pen to paper and write down everybody else’s ideas, no matter how stupid they may be. It’s a tough job, but it’s one you’re willing to do because it means you won’t have to do much else. Taking charge? Coming up with ideas? Presenting the PowerPoint? No, thanks. You wrote stuff down. You did your part.
As much as we wish this didn’t have to be true, it doesn’t change the fact that there’s always a procrastinator. Most of the time, this person is you. You hate deadlines, you hate authority figures, and most of all, you hate group projects with the passion of a thousand hateful suns. You’d much rather work alone. It’s difficult to contribute to the project when your group is an anarchic team of disorderly ruffians loosely held together by the one person who actually understands the assignment. In the end, you always get your work done, but you do briefly consider just letting the whole thing collapse out of pure unbridled spite.
You’re a naturally creative individual. This means that sometimes you are the person doodling in the margins of your notes while everyone else is haphazardly slapping the PowerPoint together, but other times you are the backbone of the entire project. People often look to you for ideas, but whether or not you feel like making an effort depends largely on the project itself, whether or not you get along with your group members, and also just your mood.
You’re the public speaker. There are drawbacks to being so charismatic and approachable, the main one being that everyone automatically just assumes you’ll speak for the group. If the project is informal, then the teacher will look expectantly at your group until someone (you) finally caves and explains what you guys came up with. If the project is more structured, everyone will be called upon to present their part of the PowerPoint but you’ll talk first and you’ll also talk the most. Either way, you’re the captain of this sinking ship and everyone knows it.
You are the stressed-out perfectionist who just wants to get this group project over and done with. That way you can get back to working on the billions of other things you probably barely have time to do already. Odds are you’re juggling upwards of seven extracurriculars and an AP class or two or five, plus you have to divvy up your time between friends and family, plus you’d actually like to sleep this year, if at all possible.
You are the reluctant volunteer. Invariably, what happens is someone will say, “Okay, who wants to do [tedious but extremely necessary task]?” and the response will be silence. Utter silence. Your fellow group members will stare at their desks, or the clock, or the windows—anywhere but at each other—until finally you sigh and say, “I guess I’ll do it.” You’ll probably wind up doing the lion’s share of the work, not because you want to, but because you must.
Group projects bring out the absolute worst in people, which is why it’s so impressive that you’re able to get through this whole thing without making enemies. In fact, your easygoing demeanor makes the entire ordeal less stressful for everyone. You’re that one person in the group who’s chatty and sociable but still manages to get their work done. It’s a delicate balancing act that requires finesse and grace under pressure, and everyone both fears and respects you for it.
You are good-humored, optimistic, and straightforward, which honestly makes you the ideal group project member and everyone’s favorite. Basically, you’re a team player who will do anything as long as you don’t actually have to be in charge. You’ll even do most of the work, if it comes to that. This doesn’t make you a human doormat, necessarily, it just means you understand the dynamics of the group project and are willing to fall on the sword if it means getting an A.
You are usually the one person who actually knows what’s going on, gifted as you are with garden-variety common sense. Your other, lesser group members will pepper the conversation with phrases like “Wait, so what are we doing?” and you will have to explain the assignment at least twice per day until the project has reached completion. This is just what you get for being practical and good at listening.
You are the person who can’t stay on topic. You can think of about twelve things you’d rather be doing right now, and all of them involve watching YouTube videos of people yelling at birds. Unfortunately for the group, you tend to take everyone else down with you, which is why within the span of about ten minutes you’ll all be crowded around somebody’s phone taking a quiz to find out if you can tell the difference between a Pride and Prejudice quote or a Panic! At the Disco lyric. I will freely admit that I myself am an Aquarius, and if I have to be thinking about that video where a seagull takes a man’s burger right out of his hands, then I want everyone else thinking about it too.
You’re imaginative, sensitive, and idealistic, but you’re also the quiet one, unwilling to enter the fray. Generally, you prefer to wait for someone to tell you what to do. And honestly? This is a good thing. If everyone could just chill instead of duking it out in a deathless battle for group supremacy, things would go a lot more smoothly.