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Michelle’s mother is an exacting woman, a skilled cook, and fiercely committed to her family. Rather than adapting to cultural standards upon moving to the U.S., she notably remains faithful to her own practices of cosmetic and aesthetic perfection, food preparation, and parenting. All her life she refuses to be converted to Christianity until she finally agrees to as a favor to her friend Kye. As a mother she is tough on Michelle but says that no one will ever love Michelle as much as she does. Michelle describes her as nitpicky and at times emotionally manipulative, but extraordinarily attentive in her own way. Michelle’s mother’s commitment to her own way of life in a country different from her own shows strength and stubbornness, and demonstrates her capacities as a resourceful and uncompromising woman. 

Michelle’s mother gives Michelle the invaluable gift of her own culture. Despite her lack of traditional parental affection, she and Michelle share a strong bond, at the center of which is their shared cultural heritage. This is often manifested in the food they eat, the food Michelle’s mother introduces her to and prepares for her—meals that mark Michelle for the rest of her life. She is tightly bound to her family in Korea, and on these trips shows herself to be a loyal daughter and sister as well as mother. 

After Eunmi dies, Michelle’s mother stops collecting expensive knick knacks and steps out of the singular role of housewife to take drawing classes, demonstrating her capacity for change and autonomy. However, a huge part of her identity is as a caretaker and homemaker, something Michelle struggles to understand. Cooking and caring for Michelle and her father is a practice that brings her satisfaction and a sense of meaning; her refusal to change for anyone backs up the strength and uprightness that characterizes her.

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