"Oh how tired I feel."

Perhaps Johnny left his diary out on occasion, as Gunther believes, to communicate to his parents indirectly, but even his complaints are far from self-pitying. If anything, "Oh how tired I feel," is more of a disappointment that he cannot do all the things he wants to do. Johnny constantly shields his parents and others from his secret pains—Gunther remarks that he pours out his secret fears to a sound recorder—and this diary entry shows the tip of the iceberg. However, if he knew his parents would read it, perhaps Johnny purposely transcribed only his semi-painful thoughts, thinking it would make them believe that, while he was in emotional pain, as any human would be, it was not an overwhelming pain that he could not handle.