PART ONE, Chapter 1

Summary

David, an American expatriate, drinks alone in a house he rented with his ex-fiancée Hella, in the south of France. He remarks that for everyone else the next morning will proceed as usual, except he will have to face the “most terrible morning of my life.” David recalls meeting Hella for the first time and their subsequent engagement. As David continues to drink, he wonders about Hella’s trip back to the United States, while Giovanni, an Italian immigrant David fell in love with in Paris, is set to be executed in the morning. 

Thoughts of Giovanni lead David to remember an incident that he had been trying to forget involving his first sexual encounter with a man. One summer when David was a boy, he spent the weekend with a friend named Joey in Coney Island, Brooklyn. David and Joey spend the day at the beach and later watch a movie in the evening, before returning to Joey’s apartment and falling asleep. That night, David awakens to find Joey inspecting his pillow for a bed bug. David teases Joey to go back to sleep and playfully grabs Joey’s head. To David’s surprise, Joey does not resist, and they begin to kiss and become intimate with one another. David is afraid, but also acknowledges joy and pleasure in the experience. In the morning, however, David is gripped with fear and shame and decides to forget the moment and never see Joey again. 

David’s thoughts then turn to his childhood. We learn that his mother died when he was five years old and that he grew up with his father and his aunt Ellen. David describes his father as a gregarious man who liked to drink and flirt with women, while Ellen was overbearing. David remembers that his father and Ellen constantly fought about how to raise David. In one confrontation between Ellen and his father, David overhears Ellen chastise his father after a night of drinking. Ellen warns David’s father that his actions will have negative ramifications on David and David’s manhood. David reacts brashly toward this insinuation and finds himself hating his father and Ellen. 

David recalls his rift with his father growing exponentially after the incident with Joey. David becomes cold and distant, acts out, and starts drinking with an older, rougher group. The turning point in their relationship occurs after David gets into a car accident. David and his father finally have a heartfelt discussion, and David cleans up his act and joins the army as a means of appeasing his father. David has very little to say about his stint in the army, but he does allude to having sexual encounters with men while enlisted—including with a soldier who was later court-martialed for being gay. David admits to feeling an ensuing panic over that soldier’s punishment. David remembers feeling unsatisfied following his return from the army and decides to move to Paris to discover who he truly is.