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Following Mom’s death, Jennette routinely turns to alcohol and binge eating as coping mechanisms. Overcome with guilt about disappointing her mother with her eating, she manages to induce vomiting for the first time. Her purging indicates a deep-seated desire to fulfill Mom’s expectations, even in her absence. In the same spirit, she has been practicing the song Mom asked her to sing at her funeral—but when the time comes, she is too grief-stricken to follow through. Meanwhile, in her professional life, she faces new challenges. Her co-star, Ariana Grande, has the burgeoning music career that Mom tried to create for Jennette. Ariana takes frequent leaves of absence from work, and Jennette’s resentment of her success grows. As Jennette’s bitterness and self-destructive behaviors escalate, she engages in a joyless sexual encounter, driven by a desire to fill the void left by Mom’s death. This experience further exacerbates her bulimic tendencies, leading to weight loss that earns her praise from colleagues. However, this approval only deepens her sense of misery and emptiness, highlighting the destructive cycle of her behavior and its impact on her mental and emotional well-being.

Read more about the dangers that arise due to societal expectations of beauty (Main Idea #2).

Although Mom is no longer around to demand Jennette be an actor, the network itself seems determined to take over that role. When she originally began her show, Jennette was promised an opportunity to direct an episode. However, on the day of her scheduled directorial debut, she discovers that the opportunity has been withdrawn. This incident contributes to the escalation of Jennette’s bulimic behaviors. As the show progresses, Jennette’s disillusionment with acting grows, and she begins counting down the days until its end. The negative energy on set grows as The Creator faces allegations of emotional abuse. The show is cancelled, and when she is offered a substantial sum of money in exchange for her silence about her experience at the network, Jennette refuses to accept it. Despite media reports that the show ended because of Jennette’s alleged salary dispute with her co-star, it was really cancelled because of a sexual harassment claim against a producer. Jennette’s relief that the show is over is tempered by her resentment at being forever associated with her character, Sam Puckett.

Read more about The Creator and his abuse of power over Jennette’s life.

At her birthday party, Jennette grapples with a profound sense of loss and purposelessness, as she’s unable to make her longstanding birthday wish for Mom’s health and happiness. This period of hopelessness is interrupted when Jennette is offered a lead role in a Netflix series. With this chance for a new beginning, she decides to end her bulimia. However, this potentially pivotal moment in her personal journey turns out to be a false start. On the first day of shooting, Jennette meets and falls for Steven, an assistant director on the show. As their relationship develops, Jennette turns to bulimia again as a means of grappling with change. With Steven, she is able to enjoy sex for the first time, revealing how her past attempts at intimacy were doomed to failure by Mom’s desire to keep her childlike. Upon returning home, Jennette is confronted with renewed insecurities about her career and her identity. She realizes that acting, alcohol, and bulimia have become intertwined with her sense of self. When Steven gives her an ultimatum regarding her bulimia, Jennette is forced to confront the consequences of her actions and their impact on her relationships.

Jennette’s attempts to address her challenges with her therapist, Laura, reveal the depths of her struggles with alcohol dependency, bulimia, and grief over Mom’s death. Despite Laura’s support, Jennette experiences a panic attack and binge eating at a red-carpet event. Laura’s encouragement to refrain from purging is ineffective, illustrating how much purging has become a maladaptive coping mechanism for Jennette. Despite these setbacks, Jennette manages to abstain from purging for one full day, signaling a potential breakthrough in her recovery. However, Laura’s exploration of Jennette’s relationship with Mom prompts Jennette to recognize Mom’s parenting as a form of abuse. This challenges Jennette’s idealized perception of Mom—and her very identity —in a way that she isn’t ready for. Distressed, she abruptly ends her therapy sessions with Laura. Afterwards, she struggles with how to inform Steven, who had instigated her search for therapy. To her surprise, Steven’s priorities have abruptly changed, too, and he suggests that she doesn’t need therapy if she has faith in Jesus. This reflects a paradigm shift for Steven that exacerbates Jennette’s sense of alienation.

Read more about abuse masquerading as love (Main Idea #1).

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