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“It doesn’t matter if the truth won’t make a mess, sometimes the words don’t come out until you’re alone. Even that’s not guaranteed. Sometimes the truth is a secret you’re keeping from yourself.”
As he speaks with his father, Mateo wants to come out as gay and finally live as his authentic self. However, he’s still crippled by fear and anxiety, and it takes him until the very end of his final day to come out to himself and profess his love for Rufus. Mateo’s struggle represents a larger truth that living one’s truth is one of the most difficult parts of being a human. Just as Mateo struggles to live authentically, Rufus also experiences difficulty with being honest with himself about losing his parents and sister. The guilt of surviving the accident and swimming away while his family drowned crushes him. However, when he finally opens up about his feelings and is honest with himself, Rufus is finally able to grieve not only for his family but also for the damage caused by suppressing his own guilt and anger. Telling the truth to himself about how he had no control over his family’s deaths releases Rufus, showing how being honest with oneself and owning one’s own identity and feelings is tremendously important in order to live a full and authentic life.
