The Comedy of Errors

by: William Shakespeare

  Act 1 Scene 2

page Act 1 Scene 2 Page 3

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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Stop in your wind, sir. Tell me this, I pray:
Where have you left the money that I gave you?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Hold on a second. Answer me this, please: where’s the money I gave you?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

55O, sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last
To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper?
The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Oh, the sixpence you gave me last Wednesday to buy leather goods for my mistress? The saddle maker has it, sir—I didn’t keep it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

I am not in a sportive humor now.
Tell me, and dally not: where is the money?
60We being strangers here, how dar’st thou trust
So great a charge from thine own custody?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

I’m not in a joking mood. Tell me right now and stop fooling: where’s the money? We’re strangers here. How dare you let such a large amount escape your keeping?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.
I from my mistress come to you in post;
If I return, I shall be post indeed,
65For she will scour your fault upon my pate.
Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,
And strike you home without a messenger.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Please, sir; crack jokes over lunch. My mistress made me hurry here. If I go back without you, she’ll punish your faults by breaking my head open. I should think that your appetite would act like a clock (as mine does) and bring you home on its own, without the need for a messenger.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season.
Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
70Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

That’s enough, Dromio, please. This isn’t a good moment for jokes—save them till a happier time. Where’s the gold I gave you?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me!

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Gave me, sir? You didn’t give me any gold.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Come on, you rogue. Quit joking. Tell me what you’ve done with the money I entrusted to you.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
75Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner.
My mistress and her sister stays for you.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

The only thing that I’ve been entrusted with was getting you from the market and bringing you to your house, the Phoenix, for lunch. My mistress and her sister are waiting for you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Now, as I am a Christian, answer me
In what safe place you have bestowed my money,
Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
80That stands on tricks when I am undisposed.
Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Tell me where you’ve stowed away my money, or I swear I’ll break that comical head of yours for goofing when I’m not in the mood. Where are the thousand

marks

marks = units of currency

marks
you had from me?

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