The Comedy of Errors

William Shakespeare
No Fear Act 2 Scene 1
No Fear Act 2 Scene 1 Page 4

Original Text

Modern Text

“Your meat doth burn,” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth he.
“Will you come?” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth he.
“Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?”
“The pig,” quoth I, “is burned.” “My gold,” quoth he.
65“My mistress, sir,” quoth I. “Hang up thy mistress!
I know not thy mistress. Out on thy mistress!”
“My gold,” he said. “Where’s the thousand marks I gave you, scoundrel?” “The pig,” I said, “is burned.” “My gold,” he said. “My mistress,” I said. “Damn your mistress! I don’t know your mistress, the hell with your mistress!”

LUCIANA

Quoth who?

LUCIANA

Who said that?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Quoth my master.
“I know,” quoth he, “no house, no wife, no mistress.”
70So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders,
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

My master said it. “I don’t know,” he said, “any house, wife, or mistress.” My message, which was supposed to be delivered with my mouth, ended up being carried back home by my shoulders. Because at the end of it all, that’s where he beat me.

ADRIANA

Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.

ADRIANA

Go back again, slave, and bring him home.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Go back again and be new beaten home?
75For God’s sake, send some other messenger.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Go back again, to be beaten home again? For God’s sake, send somebody else.

ADRIANA

Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.

ADRIANA

Go back, slave, or I’ll knock you one across the head.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

And he will bless that cross with other beating.
Between you, I shall have a holy head.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

And he’ll add another knock across. With all these crosses, I’ll have a holy head.

ADRIANA

Hence, prating peasant! Fetch thy master home.

ADRIANA

Get out of here, you blathering peasant! Bring your master home.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

80Am I so round with you as you with me,
That like a football you do spurn me thus?
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither.
If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Do I treat you this roundly? You’re kicking me around like I’m a football. You kick me out, he kicks me back. If I keep working for you, I’m going to end up wrapped in leather, like a football.
Exit DROMIO OF EPHESUS
DROMIO OF EPHESUS exits.

LUCIANA

Fie, how impatience loureth in your face.

LUCIANA

Look at you! You have impatience all over your face.

Popular pages: The Comedy of Errors