Election Day is November 3rd! Make sure your voice is heard

The Comedy of Errors

William Shakespeare
No Fear Act 3 Scene 1
No Fear Act 3 Scene 1 Page 3

Original Text

Modern Text

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

(within) Right, sir, I’ll tell you when an you tell me wherefore.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

(from offstage) Right. Give me one good reason and I will.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Wherefore? For my dinner. I have not dined today.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

A reason? So I can eat lunch. I haven’t eaten today.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

(within) Nor today here you must not. Come again when you may.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

(from offstage) And you won’t eat here today. Come again some other time.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

What art thou that keep’st me out from the house I owe?

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Who do you think you are, keeping me out of my own house?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

45 (within) The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

(from offstage) I’m the doorkeeper for the moment, and my name is Dromio.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name!
The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
If thou hadst been Dromio today in my place,
Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name, or thy name
  for an ass.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

You jerk! You’ve stolen both my job and my name! True, the job never did me much good, and my name only ever got me in trouble. If you were the Dromio in my shoes today, you would have felt like you traded your head for a target and your name for the name of “Ass.”

LUCE

50 (within) What a coil is there, Dromio! Who are those at the gate?

LUCE

In a later printing of the play, the character of Luce was renamed “Nell.”

LUCE

(from offstage) What’s all the commotion, Dromio? Who’s at the door?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Let my master in, Luce.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Luce, let my master in.

LUCE

   (within) Faith, no, he comes too late,
And so tell your master.

LUCE

(from offstage) No way, he’s too late. Tell your master that.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

   O Lord, I must laugh.
Have at you with a proverb: shall I set in my staff?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Oh, Lord, this makes me laugh! I’ll come at you with the old proverb: “Should I make myself at home?”

LUCE

(within) Have at you with another: that’s—When, can you tell?

LUCE

(from offstage) I’ll come at you with another: “I’d like to see you try it!”

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