No Fear Shakespeare: Henry IV, Part 1: Act 2 Scene 2

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Henry IV, Part 1

William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

Original Text

Modern Text

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter PRINCE HENRY , POINS , BARDOLPH , and PETO	Enter PRINCE HENRY , POINS , BARDOLPH , and PETO
POINS Come, shelter, shelter! I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.	POINS Come, shelter, shelter! I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.
PRINCE HENRY Stand close.	PRINCE HENRY Stand close.
Exit POINS , BARDOLPH , and PETO exit	Exit POINS , BARDOLPH , and PETO exit
Enter FALSTAFF	Enter FALSTAFF
FALSTAFF Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!	FALSTAFF Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
PRINCE HENRY Peace, you fat-kidneyed rascal. What a brawling dost thou keep!	PRINCE HENRY Peace, you fat-kidneyed rascal. What a brawling dost thou keep!
FALSTAFF Where’s Poins, Hal?	FALSTAFF Where’s Poins, Hal?
PRINCE HENRY He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him.	PRINCE HENRY He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him.
Exit PRINCE HENRY	Exit PRINCE HENRY
FALSTAFF I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company. The rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I ’scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal hath not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be hanged. It could not be else: I have drunk medicines.— Poins! Hal! A plague upon you both.—Bardolph! Peto!— I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An ’twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!	FALSTAFF I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company. The rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I ’scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal hath not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be hanged. It could not be else: I have drunk medicines.— Poins! Hal! A plague upon you both.—Bardolph! Peto!— I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An ’twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!
They whistle.	They whistle.
25 Whew!	Whew!
Enter PRINCE HENRY , POINS , PETO , and BARDOLPH	Enter PRINCE HENRY , POINS , PETO , and BARDOLPH
A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you rogues. Give me my horse and be hanged!	A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you rogues. Give me my horse and be hanged!
PRINCE HENRY Peace, you fat guts! Lie down, lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travelers.	PRINCE HENRY Peace, you fat guts! Lie down, lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travelers.
FALSTAFF Have you any levers to lift me up again being down? 'Sblood, I’ll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father’s Exchequer. What a plague mean you to colt me thus?	FALSTAFF Have you any levers to lift me up again being down? 'Sblood, I’ll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father’s Exchequer. What a plague mean you to colt me thus?
PRINCE HENRY Thou liest. Thou art not colted; thou art uncolted.	PRINCE HENRY Thou liest. Thou art not colted; thou art uncolted.
FALSTAFF I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king’s son.	FALSTAFF I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king’s son.
PRINCE HENRY Out, you rogue! Shall I be your ostler?	PRINCE HENRY Out, you rogue! Shall I be your ostler?
FALSTAFF Hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters! If I be ta'en, I’ll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison—when a jest is so forward, and afoot too! I hate it.	FALSTAFF Hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters! If I be ta'en, I’ll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison—when a jest is so forward, and afoot too! I hate it.
Enter GADSHILL	Enter GADSHILL
GADSHILL Stand.	GADSHILL Stand.
FALSTAFF So I do, against my will.	FALSTAFF So I do, against my will.
POINS O, ’tis our setter. I know his voice, Bardolph. —What news?	POINS O, ’tis our setter. I know his voice, Bardolph. —What news?
GADSHILL Case you, case you. On with your vizards. There’s money of the King’s coming down the hill. 'Tis going to the King’s Exchequer.	GADSHILL Case you, case you. On with your vizards. There’s money of the King’s coming down the hill. 'Tis going to the King’s Exchequer.
FALSTAFF You lie, you rogue. 'Tis going to the King’s Tavern.	FALSTAFF You lie, you rogue. 'Tis going to the King’s Tavern.
GADSHILL There’s enough to make us all.	GADSHILL There’s enough to make us all.
FALSTAFF 50 To be hanged.	FALSTAFF To be hanged.
PRINCE HENRY Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane. Ned Poins and I will walk lower. If they ’scape from your encounter, then they light on us.	PRINCE HENRY Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane. Ned Poins and I will walk lower. If they ’scape from your encounter, then they light on us.
PETO How many be there of them?	PETO How many be there of them?
GADSHILL 55 Some eight or ten.	GADSHILL Some eight or ten.
FALSTAFF Zounds, will they not rob us?	FALSTAFF Zounds, will they not rob us?
PRINCE HENRY What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?	PRINCE HENRY What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?
FALSTAFF Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.	FALSTAFF Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.
PRINCE HENRY 60 Well, we leave that to the proof.	PRINCE HENRY Well, we leave that to the proof.
POINS Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.	POINS Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.
FALSTAFF Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hanged.	FALSTAFF Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hanged.
PRINCE HENRY (aside to POINS ) Ned, where are our disguises?	PRINCE HENRY (aside to POINS ) Ned, where are our disguises?
POINS (aside to PRINCE HENRY) Here, hard by. Stand close.	POINS (aside to PRINCE HENRY) Here, hard by. Stand close.
Exeunt PRINCE HENRY and POINS	Exeunt PRINCE HENRY and POINS
FALSTAFF Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I. Every man to his business.	FALSTAFF Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I. Every man to his business.
Enter the TRAVELERS	Enter the TRAVELERS
FIRST TRAVELER Come, neighbor, the boy shall lead our horses down the hill. 70 We’ll walk afoot awhile and ease our legs.	FIRST TRAVELER Come, neighbor, the boy shall lead our horses down the hill. We’ll walk afoot awhile and ease our legs.
THIEVES Stand!	THIEVES Stand!
TRAVELERS Jesus bless us!	TRAVELERS Jesus bless us!
FALSTAFF Strike! Down with them! Cut the villains' throats! Ah, whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves, they hate us youth. Down with them! Fleece them!	FALSTAFF Strike! Down with them! Cut the villains' throats! Ah, whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves, they hate us youth. Down with them! Fleece them!
TRAVELERS O, we are undone, both we and ours forever!	TRAVELERS O, we are undone, both we and ours forever!
FALSTAFF Hang, you gorbellied knaves! Are you undone? No, you fat chuffs. I would your store were here. On, bacons, on! What, you knaves, young men must live. You are grandjurors, are you? We’ll jure you, faith.	FALSTAFF Hang, you gorbellied knaves! Are you undone? No, you fat chuffs. I would your store were here. On, bacons, on! What, you knaves, young men must live. You are grandjurors, are you? We’ll jure you, faith.
Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt	Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt
Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS	Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS
PRINCE HENRY The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest forever.	PRINCE HENRY The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest forever.
POINS 85 Stand close, I hear them coming.	POINS Stand close, I hear them coming.
PRINCE HENRY and POINS hide. Enter the thieves again	PRINCE HENRY and POINS hide. Enter the thieves again
FALSTAFF Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring. There’s no more valor in that Poins than in a wild duck.	FALSTAFF Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring. There’s no more valor in that Poins than in a wild duck.
As they are sharing, PRINCE HENRY and POINS set upon them.	As they are sharing, PRINCE HENRY and POINS set upon them.
PRINCE HENRY 90 Your money!	PRINCE HENRY Your money!
POINS Villains!	POINS Villains!
They all run away, and FALSTAFF , after a blow or two, runs away too, leaving the booty behind them.	They all run away, and FALSTAFF , after a blow or two, runs away too, leaving the booty behind them.
PRINCE HENRY Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse. The thieves are all scattered, and possessed with fear So strongly that they dare not meet each other. 95 Each takes his fellow for an officer. Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death, And lards the lean earth as he walks along. Were ’t not for laughing, I should pity him.	PRINCE HENRY Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse. The thieves are all scattered, and possessed with fear So strongly that they dare not meet each other. Each takes his fellow for an officer. Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death, And lards the lean earth as he walks along. Were ’t not for laughing, I should pity him.
POINS How the fat rogue roared!	POINS How the fat rogue roared!
Exeunt	Exeunt