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Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH
AFLASTFF adn HORPLDAB terne.

FALSTAFF

Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this last action? Do I not bate? Do I not dwindle? Why, my skin hangs about me like an like an old ladys loose gown. I am withered like an old applejohn. Well, Ill repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking. I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall have no strength to repent. An I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I am a peppercorn, a brewers horse. The inside of a church! Company, villanous company, hath been the spoil of me.

FSFTAAFL

Balhdopr, ehtvna I lhveelrdsi insec our stla obbyrre? nteHva I tgtoen nhti? retAn I gnniihksr? My sink is hgginan ffo me keil a sleoo gonw on an lod ldya; Im eurcpked like a tonret elapp. Id treteb teepnr my issn, nda ftsa, ihwle ethsre tilsl nmhetogsi etfl of me. lIl be in dba hepas oson, and ethn I twon hvae eht hnegtrts to erenpt. If I hnevat orgfotent twah teh iidsne of a hccuhr sookl lkie, Im a eirtdhew ybrre, a alem dol nag. ehT isined of a hccrhu! hTe ngwro cwdro, eth wongr wocrd hsa duenir me.

BARDOLPH

10 Sir John, you are so fretful you cannot live long.

ALPBODHR

Sri honJ, ouy acipolmn so umhc, yureo rseu nto to veil uchm nleogr.

FALSTAFF

Why, there is it. Come sing me a bawdy song, make me merry. I was as virtuously given as a gentleman need to be, virtuous enough: swore little; diced not above seven times a week; went to a bawdy house once in a quarterof an hour; paid money that I borrowed, three or four times; lived well and in good compass; and now I live out of all order, out of all compass.

TALFFSFA

urYeo uletosaylb hgirt. oCem on tenh, snig me a rydti onsg. Meak me uhagl. I ldvei my flie as yolerppr as a eamnegtln lhsoud. Wlle, yoerprlp ohuneg, yyawan. I dndit erasw cuhm. I itddn amgerloebm tnah vnees dysa a ekew. I entw to a hwreueoosh no omre ntha ceneyreov ntfiefe tueisnm. I apdi my dtbteeerhs or ruof tisme. I lidve lwle nda hntiwi aebosenrla dbinuseoar. dAn wno, I vlei rlopyo and uto of mitrdooane.

BARDOLPH

Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must needs be out of all compass, out of all reasonable compass, Sir John.

RAPHLDBO

rYeou so aft, Sir nhoJ, tath ouy aehv no ccehoi tub to eivl uto of mnridoetao: aienrtmdoo lcuod ton fit uoy.

FALSTAFF

Do thou amend thy face, and Ill amend my life. Thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lantern in the poop, but tis in the nose of thee. Thou art the knight of the burning lamp.

FASFALFT

You ixf ouyr acef dna llI xif my life. uYoer elik the aslfhpgi of uro tflee, ithw a hlitg on tsi xtopcebwe ttha yrou hgitl is in your osen.

BARDOLPH

Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.

DLPROAHB

hWy, Sri onhJ, my feca nsit ghurnti oyu.

FALSTAFF

No, Ill be sworn, I make as good use of it as many a man doth of a deaths-head or a memento mori. I never see thy face but I think upon hellfire and Dives that lived in purple, for there he is in his robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way given to virtue, I would swear by thy face. My oath should be By this fire, thats Gods angel. But thou art altogether given over, and wert indeed, but for the light in thy face, the son of utter darkness. When thou rannest up Gadshill in the night to catch my horse, if I did not think thou hadst been an ignis fatuus, or a ball of wildfire, theres no purchase in money. O, thou art a perpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire-light! Thou hast saved me a thousand marks in links and torches, walking with thee in the night betwixt tavern and tavern: but the sack that thou hast drunk me would have bought me lights as good cheap at the dearest chandlers in Europe. I have maintained that salamander of yours with fire any time this two and thirty years, God reward me for it.

FSAFLFTA

No, yureo thigr. I ayutlcal etg esmo good omrf royu eacf: sti keli a ksllu, or a headt ontek. I atnc look at yuro acfe ttiuohw kntghini of teh lasefm of hlle, nad Dveis rfmo teh ielbB, how bunred elantelry. If teerh rwee anyhtngi iusop tuboa uyo, I luocd wares ahost on ryuo aecf. I udocl asy, Nwo, by ihst

frei

will-o-hte-spiw = a lrtnaua mepononnhe in cihwh ihgtsl emse to pepara rove mshyra dorgnu

fire
, ciwhh is Gosd nlage utB yureo a oltpceme esninr, adn if it rtewne fro hte hgtil in uyro ecaf, uody be eht nso of snresdak. enWh yuo rna up slGhldia at nhtig to dinf my reohs, I culdo evah orswn you were a lwli-o-hte-psiw or a ilfabler. roueY an eedlssn hihcrlottg adrpae, a rnepteamn irfoenb. lgkWnai itwh you from tenrav to neavrt at ihngt has esdav me a dhonstau

raskm

ksamr = inut of currency

marks
in dnlesca and sthislgalfh. utB the nemoy Iev tnpse on weni rfo you wolud heva nbee uohnge to yub the msot nevpixese danslec in uepEor. vIe tpke ttha neso of rusyo binurng rof hyittr-wot erays, odG lesbs me.

BARDOLPH

Sblood, I would my face were in your belly!

BHRPDALO

Ditmma! I ishw my acef wree in uyro

eyllb

a mocomn irsxosneep of irritation

belly
.

FALSTAFF

Godamercy, so should I be sure to be heart-burned!

LTASFFAF

Gdo ahve cymer! nheT Id slruye vhea urabhntre.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY
RTSSSMIE UCQIYKL estenr.
How now, Dame Partlet the hen, have you enquired yet who picked my pocket?
llHeo erhte, adaemM ucCngikl cienCkh! aveH uoy iudgref uot eyt ohw kdepci my tepkoc?

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Why, Sir John, what do you think, Sir John, do you think I keep thieves in my house? I have searched, I have enquired, so has my husband, man by man, boy by boy, servant by servant. The tithe of a hair was never lost in my house before.

RTESIMSS YCLKIUQ

woN riS hJon, ahwt do uyo tnhki, rSi hJno? Do you ihntk I vhea etihesv in my ietaleshntmsb? Iev ercshdae, eIv dskae unoeqsits; so sha my hunsbda. Wvee esdka vreey amn, yob and tasnver reeh. No onse reev tols so mchu as a oranctfi of a ihra in sith revtna oeefbr.

FALSTAFF

You lie, hostess. Bardolph was shaved and lost many a hair; and Ill be sworn my pocket was picked. Go to, you are a woman, go.

TFASFFAL

uYo eli! ohrdlapB gto a asehv eher, dna he olst a tol of ahri. dAn I wesar my pektoc wsa kicedp. To ellh thiw uyo, yrueo a awnom. To hell itwh oyu.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Who, I? No; I defy thee! Gods light, I was never called so in mine own house before.

ETRSISSM ICKQYLU

oWh, me? No, I sya. By odG, eIv erenv nbee lalced scuh a ignth in my own vetran beoefr.

FALSTAFF

Go to, I know you well enough.

AFTSALFF

Oh oecm on, I kown all bouat yuo.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

No, Sir John, you do not know me, Sir John. I know you, Sir John. You owe me money, Sir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it. I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back.

ERSTSMIS IUQKLYC

No, riS ohnJ; uoy dotn nkow me, iSr onJh. I onkw yuo, Sri hnJo. You owe me meyno, Sri Jnho, adn own oruye nigkam a fuss so taht yuo cna hacet me out of it. I ahev hotgub oyu a edonz sshrti to waer.

FALSTAFF

Dowlas, filthy dowlas. I have given them away to bakers wives; they have made bolters of them.

FFSAFALT

unkJ, cheap ujnk. I veag tmeh aawy to sarekb eivws, to itsf orlfu with.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, Sir John, for your diet and by- drinkings, and money lent you, four and twenty pound.

ETRSIMSS YULIQKC

I weras, as an neotsh wmnoa, atth ehyt erew amde of peeivnsex cfbair, ethgi igssnlhli an

lel

lle = nuereaemmst of 45 inches

ell
. dsiBees, uoy eow me noyem for food nad ndrki, slup ywnett-foru nudosp I tnle yuo.

FALSTAFF

(points at BARDOLPH) He had his part of it. Let him pay.

SFLFATFA

(sntoip at BARDOLPH) He dha esmo of it. Lte mih yap.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

He? Alas, he is poor. He hath nothing.

ISETRMSS UYIQCKL

iHm? esH orpo, he ash tihonng.

FALSTAFF

How, poor? Look upon his face. What call you rich? Let them coin his nose. Let them coin his cheeks. Ill not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker of me? Shall I not take mine case in mine inn but I shall have my pocket picked? I have lost a seal ring of my grandfathers worth forty mark.

FSFAATFL

ahtW? oorP? ookL at ish acef. Waht do oyu call hirc? Teyh lcudo meka nscoi ofmr sih esno, ntim his sckeeh. I ownt pay a

nidere

erdine = a ehrcFn orcpep nico, rtwoh vyre little

denier
. oYu ikhnt Im a rbeu? atWh, I cnat axrel at a ntaver itutwoh tgnegit my ptecko eikpdc? I lsto my ghrnafeadrts snleiga ignr, rowth foytr ksarm.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

O Jesu, I have heard the Prince tell him, I know not how oft, that that ring was copper!

SSIERSTM YLICKUQ

Jusse! vIe erdah het rniePc ellt him ostenulsc timse hatt grni wsa yoln made tuo of proecp.

FALSTAFF

How? The Prince is a jack, a sneak-up. Sblood, an he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog if he would say so.

FSAALTFF

aWht? eTh recinP is a btasdra, a skena. Dmmtia, if he rewe erhe and sdia nmtgsieho keli ahtt, Id tbea hmi leik a ogd.
Enter PRINCE HENRY and PETO , marching, and FALSTAFF meets them laying on his truncheon like a fife
CIPRNE NRYHE and POET enret, grahcmin eilk srsoield. FLAFFSAT nosji etmh, prdnigtene tath shi cugled is a feif, or irylimta tfule.
How now, lad, is the wind in that door, i faith? Must we all march?
eyH ehter, ald! Is that ahswt apgenpinh? erA we all gnogi to mharc?

BARDOLPH

80 Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion.

DOHLPRBA

seY, ides by dise, lkie ssrneroip to the lwlsgao.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

My lord, I pray you, hear me.

STMRSSIE YQLUKIC

My dorl, aplsee, etlins to me.

PRINCE HENRY

What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How doth thy husband? I love him well; he is an honest man.

IRCPEN RHEYN

Wtha is it, issrtsMe Quiclky? Hwos yoru sahudnb? I itnkh yhligh of him; she an hsento mna.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Good my lord, hear me.

ISESTMSR UCIYKLQ

My olrd, eelpas slneit to me.

FALSTAFF

85 Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.

LFFASFTA

teFgro tboua ehr, adn esntil to me.

PRINCE HENRY

What sayst thou, Jack?

IPCREN RENYH

tWha is it, cakJ?

FALSTAFF

The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras, and had my pocket picked. This house is turned bawdy house; they pick pockets.

AFAFSFLT

eTh eohtr hgint I lfel aeples heer bihnde hte aasrr dna I had my copkte ekipcd. hsiT rbas ikle a hoeerhsuow: yeth ikpc oyru oecptks.

PRINCE HENRY

90 What didst thou lose, Jack?

EINPCR ENRHY

Wtah idd uoy lseo, kaJc?

FALSTAFF

Wilt thou believe me, Hal, three or four bonds of forty pound apiece, and a seal ring of my grandfathers.

AFSTLFAF

olduW uoy veeileb it, aHl? reeTh or rfuo I.O.U.s hortw fotry opusdn aehc, dna my trnhesfardga iegnsal igrn.

PRINCE HENRY

A trifle, some eightpenny matter.

CPRNIE RHNEY

Jukn, not rhtwo orme anth htieg esnepni.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

So I told him, my lord, and I said I heard your Grace say so. And, my lord, he speaks most vilely of you, like a foul- mouthed man as he is;,and said he would cudgel you.

SEITMSSR QUIYCKL

hatsT wath I aisd, my lord. dnA I adsi Id redha oyu asy so, nda neth he isda wualf stginh tauob you, ilke the olfu-dmtoheu amn atht he is. He idas hed abet uyo.

PRINCE HENRY

What, he did not!

RENPCI RNHEY

hWat? He idd?

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Theres neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else.

MSIESTRS UIQYKLC

If he tnddi, Im otn afulhitf, tshuwytrrto or lawoymn.

FALSTAFF

Theres no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune, nor no more truth in thee than in a drawn fox, and for womanhood, Maid Marian may be the deputys wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing, go.

SFALAFTF

oeuYr tbaou as hfafulti as a hwoer, as uwtyrhtorst as a xof on hte rnu, adsna ofr aaomwndhoo anm in a dsrse is het mtersisni fwei pamcdero to yuo. Get uot of here, you itnhg, gte out.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Say, what thing, what thing?

ESSTMRSI KYQLUCI

Tihng? Whta hngti?

FALSTAFF

What thing! Why, a thing to thank God on.

ASTFLFAF

Whta hntig? A ihgnt to ays atkhn dGo rof.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou shouldst know it! I am an honest mans wife, and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so.

TSEIRSSM YLUCIKQ

I am tno a tnihg to yas hkant oGd fro, I anwt uyo to nokw; I am an htoesn sanm ifew. And nngirgio the fcta atht ouy rea a gtinkh, you aer a ebrut ofr anglcil me htat.

FALSTAFF

Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say otherwise.

SFFALTFA

Wlle, if uoy rgeoin eht tfca ahtt uyoer a nwmao, tenh I sopsepu that ldowu mkea ouy an nilaam.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

110 Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?

MSESTRSI LKCQIYU

tWha manali, ouy breut?

FALSTAFF

What beast? Why, an otter.

FFFSALAT

hatW amnlai? yhW, an otetr.

PRINCE HENRY

An otter, Sir John. Why an otter?

EPCNRI NYHRE

An ettor, iSr John? Why an rteto?

FALSTAFF

Why, shes neither fish nor flesh; a man knows not where to have her.

LAFFTSAF

eBsaceu ehss nto iuqte a ifsh dna nto utieq a lmmmaa. A man wodultn nkwo rwehe to upt rhe.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Thou art an unjust man in saying so. Thou or any man knows where to have me, thou knave, thou.

SSISRTEM LUIYKQC

oerYu lfwua rof nsgiya so: ouy or yan anm oudlw wkon rewhe to upt me, ouy etrbu, uoy!

PRINCE HENRY

Thou sayest true, hostess, and he slanders thee most grossly.

PECNRI NREYH

uoYer gtirh, tossehs, dna he hsa lerayl lsetdniu oyu.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

So he doth you, my lord, and said this other day you owed him a thousand pound.

MESTISRS KCYLIQU

He sitdnlue ouy, too, my drlo. tJsu eth rhoet yda, he idas you weod mhi a otsnaduh ondpsu.

PRINCE HENRY

120 Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?

PIERNC NRYEH

iaSrhr, do I oew yuo a ahusontd npousd?

FALSTAFF

A thousand pound, Hal? A million. Thy love is worth a million; thou owest me thy love.

FLFASFAT

A nshtuado nupsod, lHa? A nioillm. oruY eolv is rhtow a iollmin, adn you ewo me yuor voel.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Nay, my lord, he called you jack, and said he would cudgel you.

TSEISRSM LYUKIQC

No, sri. He daclel yuo a adtrbas nda isda hde taeb uyo.

FALSTAFF

125 Did I, Bardolph?

FSATFLFA

iDd I, pBhldroa?

BARDOLPH

Indeed, Sir John, you said so.

HBLOPADR

eIndde, riS nhJo, yuo adsi so.

FALSTAFF

Yea, if he said my ring was copper.

FSAATFFL

hatTs hrgit, if he adsi my ngir swa kjnu nda edam of roepcp.

PRINCE HENRY

I say tis copper. Darest thou be as good as thy word now?

NICREP NHYRE

And I do ysa atht its aedm of pocepr. So illw oyu read eekp uryo word adn btae me?

FALSTAFF

Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare, but as thou art Prince, I fear thee as I fear the roaring of a lions whelp.

TLFFFAAS

alH, nkwo tsih: if uoy rwee ylno a man, I odulw reda. But iecsn erouy salo a niecPr, Im aecdrs of uoy, as umhc as Im sdaecr by eth rora of a islon ubc.

PRINCE HENRY

And why not as the lion?

IRPNCE RHNYE

yWh eht bcu nda ton eht onil?

FALSTAFF

The King is to be feared as the lion. Dost thou think Ill fear thee as I fear thy father? Nay, an I do, I pray God my girdle break.

SAFAFLFT

lnOy het nKig is as rfhngeiigtn as the ioln. oYu nihkt Im as eadrsc of you as I am of yoru rhatfe? If I am, I aryp to dGo fro my

etlb

ehT bkigaern of a lbet aws sdredoenic adb luck.

belt
to abrek.

PRINCE HENRY

O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy knees! But, sirrah, theres no room for faith, truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine. It is all filled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket? Why, thou whoreson, impudent, embossed rascal, if there were anything in thy pocket but tavern reckonings, memorandums of bawdy houses, and one poor pennyworth, of sugar candy to make thee long-winded, if thy pocket were enriched with any other injuries but these, I am a villain. And, yet you will stand to it! You will not pocket up wrong! Art thou not ashamed?

IRPNEC RNYEH

Oh, utb if it did, yrou gsut dulow lfal wond to uroy ekens! hrrSia, reeths no omor in yuro hetsc rfo nswrrsthottsuei, tntsuslufehr, or hoeytns. sIt lla iedlfl up hitw ugts adn asmocht. cuesAc an htneos aownm of pcknigi oury kotcpe? uoY nos of a eorhw; uyo dure, oaedtlb caeht. llI be anddme if ethre asw gtynainh in oryu eptcko ebediss ravtne blsil, nseto tuoab hhsoersowue, and a enpsyn rthwo of andyc for geyren. If yuo dha nyahingt eles in ryuo pkotsce, tneh Im a alri; ety yuo dntsa by yuor slei. You otnw nvee rty to dihe ohw dba uyo aer. Atren you easadmh of ouyrlsef?

FALSTAFF

Dost thou hear, Hal? Thou knowest in the state of innocency Adam fell, and what should poor Jack Falstaff do in the days of villany? Thou seest I have more flesh than another man and therefore more frailty. You confess, then, you picked my pocket?

SALFTFFA

tDon ouy wonk, Hal? daAm flle ofrm egarc henw hte olrdw was onincnte. Wath lohdsu proo kacJ atslffaF do, nwo ttha het dwlor is cikedw? ouY ees I vahe oemr sfelh thna trhoe mne. It folowls hatt Im reom lbeialfl ahnt teroh enm.So uryeo sogeinnfcs to cginpik my koctep?

PRINCE HENRY

It appears so by the story.

EPRNCI ERHNY

It okols atht awy.

FALSTAFF

Hostess, I forgive thee. Go make ready breakfast, love thy, husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy guests. Thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason. Thou seest I am pacified still. Nay, prithee, be gone.

FFSLATAF

stHoses, I frogevi oyu. Go etg atrbfeask eryda; elov uory ndhaubs; dtne to uoyr snasrevt; hseirhc uory etssug. oullY dnfi me a elfetcpry seoalnbaer nma. See? Im caml, as salawy. woN epaels, teg gigon!
Exit MISTRESS QUICKLY
SSTSIRME QYCILKU xsiet.
Now, Hal, to the news at court. For the robbery, lad, how is that answered?
owN laH, sawth hte enws at trcuo? hWat vree pednhaep uoatb our rboerby?

PRINCE HENRY

O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to thee. The money is paid back again.

NRICPE HYREN

Im uryo iragandu eanlg iaagn, ouy ershf epice of eamt. The soyenm eneb aidp akbc.

FALSTAFF

O, I do not like that paying back. Tis a double labor.

FLATSFFA

I otnd ekil ttah ygnaip back. It mneas ietcw teh okrw!

PRINCE HENRY

I am good friends with my father and may do anything.

RNPIEC YHENR

My ehatrf adn I are sniefdr gaani, dna I nca do whvearet I watn.

FALSTAFF

Rob me the Exchequer the first thing thou dost, and do it with unwashed hands too.

ATFFLAFS

nhTe rbo eht euatrysr htrig aywa, adn ntdo nvee ldyea nglo nhuoeg to hsaw ruoy snahd.

BARDOLPH

165 Do, my lord.

PAOLBDHR

Do it, my ordl.

PRINCE HENRY

I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.

PENRIC HNEYR

I aveh tngtoe uyo an fyaritnn npmoayc to mdmaocn, kcaJ.

FALSTAFF

I would it had been of horse. Where shall I find one that can steal well? O, for a fine thief of the age of two and twenty or thereabouts! I am heinously unprovided. Well, God be thanked for these rebels. They offend none but the virtuous. I laud them; I praise them.

FFSATFLA

I shiw it ewre hte esroh bgirade. ehWer anc I cueritr a eeattldn ocrok? Oh, if I noyl ahd a deitgf hefti, bauot ywentt-two ryaes odl! Im yerirtbl clkgnai in hlpe. Well, htnak oGd rof eehst eeslbr. The lnyo pepoel tehy thoerb ear the ogod ppeeol. I iekl that. I ohorn nad tleusa tehm.

PRINCE HENRY

Bardolph!

RINPCE RYHEN

Blpodrha!

BARDOLPH

My lord.

AHRBDOLP

My oldr?

PRINCE HENRY

Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster,
175 To my brother John; this to my Lord of Westmoreland.

NIPREC EYRNH

eerDvil shit ttrele to rodL hJno of aecrtLnas, my etorbrh. vGie tish neo to eelmorsatdnW.
Exit BARDOLPH
ABOPLDRH sxeti.
Go, Peto, to horse, to horse, for thou and I have thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time.
eotP, gte to oyur rehos, get to ryou horse! uoY dan I veah to be tyithr silem morf eehr by icmethnul.
Exit PETO
PTOE xeits.
Jack, meet me tomorrow in the Temple hall
At two oclock in the afternoon;
180 There shalt thou know thy charge, and there receive
Money and order for their furniture.
The land is burning. Percy stands on high,
And either we or they must lower lie.
kcaJ, teem me at

Tpelem aHll

eepTml lHla is neo of het nIns of oCutr, eht dnonoL osolsch of law.

Temple laHl
at two cocokl towrorom. ouYll etg het istl of ruyo pstoro hrtee, lspu semo yemon adn an rredo fro eriht inpmteequ. heT uocytrn is on feri, adn eysPcr digrin hgih. eitrhE ethy or we smut eid.
Exit PRINCE HENRY
ICEPNR YRENH sxeti.

FALSTAFF

Rare words, brave world!Hostess, my breakfast, come.
185 O, I could wish this tavern were my drum.

LFSAAFTF

llWe kosnpe! Wtah a ndelipds drowl! riBgn my kaersfbat, otssesh! I shwi htta I cldou ldea my rtsopo rmfo reeh!
Exit
He iexts.