Henry IV, Part 1

by: William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

FALSTAFF

You lie, hostess. Bardolph was shaved and lost many a hair; and I’ll be sworn my pocket was picked. Go to, you are a woman, go.

FALSTAFF

You lie! Bardolph got a shave here, and he lost a lot of hair. And I swear my pocket was picked. To hell with you, you’re a woman. To hell with you.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Who, I? No; I defy thee! God’s light, I was never called so in mine own house before.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Who, me? No, I say. By God, I’ve never been called such a thing in my own tavern before.

FALSTAFF

Go to, I know you well enough.

FALSTAFF

Oh come on, I know all about you.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

No, Sir John, you do not know me, Sir John. I know you, Sir John. You owe me money, Sir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it. I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

No, Sir John; you don’t know me, Sir John. I know you, Sir John. You owe me money, Sir John, and now you’re making a fuss so that you can cheat me out of it. I have bought you a dozen shirts to wear.

FALSTAFF

Dowlas, filthy dowlas. I have given them away to bakers' wives; they have made bolters of them.

FALSTAFF

Junk, cheap junk. I gave them away to bakers' wives, to sift flour with.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, Sir John, for your diet and by- drinkings, and money lent you, four and twenty pound.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

I swear, as an honest woman, that they were made of expensive fabric, eight shillings an

ell

ell = measurement of 45 inches

ell
. Besides, you owe me money for food and drink, plus twenty-four pounds I lent you.

FALSTAFF

(points at BARDOLPH) He had his part of it. Let him pay.

FALSTAFF

(points at BARDOLPH) He had some of it. Let him pay.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

He? Alas, he is poor. He hath nothing.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Him? He’s poor, he has nothing.

FALSTAFF

How, poor? Look upon his face. What call you rich? Let them coin his nose. Let them coin his cheeks. I’ll not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker of me? Shall I not take mine case in mine inn but I shall have my pocket picked? I have lost a seal ring of my grandfather’s worth forty mark.

FALSTAFF

What? Poor? Look at his face. What do you call rich? They could make coins from his nose, mint his cheeks. I won’t pay a

denier

denier = a French copper coin, worth very little

denier
. You think I’m a rube? What, I can’t relax at a tavern without getting my pocket picked? I lost my grandfather’s sealing ring, worth forty marks.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

O Jesu, I have heard the Prince tell him, I know not how oft, that that ring was copper!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Jesus! I’ve heard the Prince tell him countless times that ring was only made out of copper.