Henry IV, Part 1

by: William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH
FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH enter.

FALSTAFF

Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry. Fill me a bottle of sack. Our soldiers shall march through. We’ll to Sutton Coldfield tonight.

FALSTAFF

Bardolph, go ahead of us to Coventry, and fill me a bottle of wine. Our army will keep marching, and we’ll make it to Sutton Coldfield tonight.

BARDOLPH

Will you give me money, captain?

BARDOLPH

Will you give me some money, captain?

FALSTAFF

5Lay out, lay out.

FALSTAFF

Spend your own.

BARDOLPH

This bottle makes an angel.

BARDOLPH

FALSTAFF

An if it do, take it for thy labor. An if it make twenty, take them all. I’ll answer the coinage. Bid my lieutenant Peto meet me at town’s end.

FALSTAFF

Well, if this bottle earns you an angel, then keep it for your troubles. If you earn twenty angels, then keep them all; I’m good for it. Tell my lieutenant Peto to meet me at the city limit.

BARDOLPH

10I will, captain. Farewell.

BARDOLPH

I will, captain. Farewell.
Exit BARDOLPH
BARDOLPH exits.

FALSTAFF

If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused gurnet. I have misused the King’s press damnably. I have got, in exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers, three hundred and odd pounds. I press me none but good householders, yeomen’s sons; inquire me out contracted bachelors, such as had been asked twice on the banns; such a commodity of warm slaves—as had as lief hear the devil as a drum, such as fear the report of a caliver worse than a struck fowl or a hurt wild duck. I pressed me none but such toasts-and-butter, with hearts in their bellies no bigger than pins' heads, and

FALSTAFF

If I’m not ashamed of my soldiers, then I’m a pickled fish. I’ve taken terrible advantage of my position. I’ve pressed a hundred and fifty soldiers into service, and for that, the treasury has paid me over three hundred pounds. I recruited only well-to-do property owners and rich farmer’s sons. I looked for men who were engaged to be married, who were already halfway through their preparations. I found a whole supply of pampered cowards who would rather listen to the devil than a military march; who feared the sound of gunfire