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to counterfeit, or that hot termagant Scot had paid me scot
and lot too. Counterfeit? I lie. I am no counterfeit. To die is
to be a counterfeit, for he is but the counterfeit of a man who
hath not the life of a man; but to counterfeit dying when a
man thereby liveth is to be no counterfeit, but the true and
perfect image of life indeed. The better part of valor is
discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.
Zounds, I am afraid of this gunpowder Percy, though he be
dead. How if he should counterfeit too and rise? By my faith,
I am afraid he would prove the better counterfeit. Therefore
I’ll make him sure, yea, and I’ll swear I killed him. Why may
not he rise as well as I? Nothing confutes me but eyes, and
nobody sees me. Therefore, sirrah, (stabs the body) with a
new wound in your thigh, come you along with me. (he takes
up HOTSPUR on his back)
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being dead, or that raging rebel of a Scotsman would have ended me. Fake? No, I tell a lie: I’m not a faker. To die is to be a faker, because a dead body is an imitation of a living one. But to fake being dead, in order to stay alive, that’s no kind of faking. That’s the truest kind of living there is. Bravery is mostly about precaution; I’m careful, and it saved my life. Damn, I’m scared of this bombshell Percy, even though he’s dead. What if he’s faking, too, and he gets up? I swear, he’d be the better faker. Therefore, I’ll make sure he’s dead; in fact, I’ll swear that I killed him. Why couldn’t he just get up, like I did? Only a witness could stop me, and there are no witnesses here. Therefore, sirrah, (stabs the body)you’re coming with me—complete with a new wound in your thigh. (he throws
HOTSPUR’s body over his shoulder)
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Enter
PRINCE HENRY and Lord John of
LANCASTER
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PRINCE HENRY and Lord John of LANCASTER enter.
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PRINCE HENRY Come, brother John. Full bravely hast thou fleshed
Thy maiden sword.
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PRINCE HENRY John, my brother, you’ve bravely proven yourself in this, your first battle.
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LANCASTER But soft, whom have we here?
Did you not tell me this fat man was dead?
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LANCASTER Wait! Who do we have here? Didn’t you say this fat man was dead?
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PRINCE HENRY
130I did; I saw him dead,
Breathless and bleeding on the ground.—Art thou alive?
Or is it fantasy that plays upon our eyesight?
I prithee, speak. We will not trust our eyes
Without our ears. Thou art not what thou seem’st.
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PRINCE HENRY I did. I saw him dead on the ground, bleeding and not breathing. Are you alive? Or is this some kind of dream, playing with our sight? Talk to us. We won’t trust our eyes without our ears. You aren’t what you seem to be.
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FALSTAFF
135No, that’s certain. I am not a double man. But if I be not Jack
Falstaff, then am I a jack. There is Percy. If your father will
do me any honor,so; if not, let him kill the next Percy
himself. I look to be either earl or duke, I can assure you.
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FALSTAFF That’s for sure. I’m not a double man. But if I’m not Jack Falstaff, then I’m a crook. Here’s Percy. If the king will honor me for this, fine. If not, let him kill the next Percy himself. I expect to me made an earl or a Duke for this, I’ll tell you that much.
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