Henry IV, Part 1

William Shakespeare
No Fear Act 2 Scene 1
No Fear Act 2 Scene 1 Page 2

Original Text

Modern Text

SECOND CARRIER

Why, they will allo w us ne'er a jordan, and then we leak in your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach.

SECOND CARRIER

They don’t even give us a bathroom. So we pee in the fireplace, and you know that urine breeds fleas like nobody’s business.

FIRST CARRIER

What, ostler, come away and be hanged. Come away.

FIRST CARRIER

Hey, ostler! Come on already, damn you!

SECOND CARRIER

I have a gammon of bacon and two races of ginger to be delivered as far as Charing Cross.

SECOND CARRIER

I’ve got to deliver a ham and some ginger root all the way to Charing Cross.

FIRST CARRIER

God’s body, the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved.— What, ostler! A plague on thee! Hast thou never an eye in thy head? Canst not hear? An ’twere not as good deed as drink to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged. Hast no faith in thee?

FIRST CARRIER

God almighty! The turkeys I’m carrying are starving! Hey, Stable-boy! Curse you! Can’t you see? Can’t you hear? If it isn’t a good idea to knock you on the head, I’m a fool. Come on, damn you! Can’t we trust you to do your job?
Enter GADSHILL
GADSHILL enters.

GADSHILL

Good morrow, carriers. What’s o'clock?

GADSHILL

Morning, deliverymen. What time is it?

FIRST CARRIER

I think it be two o'clock.

FIRST CARRIER

I think it’s two o'clock.

GADSHILL

I prithee, lend me thy lantern to see my gelding in the stable.

GADSHILL

Let me borrow your lantern so I can check on my horse in the stable.

FIRST CARRIER

Nay, by God, soft. I know a trick worth two of that, i' faith.

FIRST CARRIER

No way, by God; just hold on a minute. I know a few tricks like that myself, I swear.

GADSHILL

30 (to SECOND CARRIER) I pray thee, lend me thine.

GADSHILL

(to SECOND CARRIER) Please, let me borrow yours.

SECOND CARRIER

Ay, when, canst tell? “Lend me thy lantern,” quoth he.
Marry, I’ll see thee hanged first.

SECOND CARRIER

Sure, whenever. Whatever you say. “Let me borrow your lantern,” he says? Yeah, right. I’ll see you dead first.

GADSHILL

Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?

GADSHILL