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FALSTAFF

A King’s son! If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese, I’ll never wear hair on my face more. You, Prince of Wales!

FALSTAFF

A King’s son! If I don’t drive you out of the kingdom with a

wooden dagger

In medieval morality plays, the character of Vice carried a wooden dagger.

wooden dagger
, and send your subjects running before you like a flock of geese, then I’ll never grow a beard again. You, Prince of Wales? What a joke!

PRINCE HENRY

125Why, you whoreson round man, what’s the matter?

PRINCE HENRY

You fat son of a whore, what’s the matter?

FALSTAFF

Are not you a coward? Answer me to that—and Poins there?

FALSTAFF

Aren’t you a coward? Tell me that. And Poins there?

POINS

Zounds, ye fat paunch, an you call me coward, by the Lord,
I’ll stab thee.

POINS

Dammit, you fat belly. If you call me a coward, I swear, I’ll stab you.

FALSTAFF

I call thee coward? I’ll see thee damned ere I call thee coward, but I would give a thousand pound I could run as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders you care not who sees your back. Call you that backing of your friends? A plague upon such backing! Give me them that will face me.—Give me a cup of sack.—I am a rogue if I drunk today.

FALSTAFF

I call you coward? I’d sooner see you damned than call you a coward, but I tell you; I’d give a thousand pounds to be able to run as fast as you can. You’ve got good-enough–;looking shoulders; you don’t care who sees your back! Is that what you call backing up your friends? Damn anyone who backs up like that! I’d rather have a man who faces me. Give me some wine! I’ll be damned if I’ve had anything to drink today.

PRINCE HENRY

O villain, thy lips are scarce wiped since thou drunk’st last.

PRINCE HENRY

Liar! You’ve barely had time to wipe your lips since your last drink.

FALSTAFF

All is one for that. (he drinketh) A plague of all cowards, still say I.

FALSTAFF

Whatever. (he drinks) A curse on all cowards, I still say.

PRINCE HENRY

What’s the matter?

PRINCE HENRY

What’s the matter?

FALSTAFF

140What’s the matter? There be four of us here have ta'en a thousand pound this day morning.

FALSTAFF

What’s the matter? There are four of us here who stole a thousand pounds this very morning.

PRINCE HENRY

Where is it, Jack? Where is it?

PRINCE HENRY

Where is it, Jack? Where is it?