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Enter DUKE , THURIO , and PROTEUS
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Enter DUKE , THURIO , and PROTEUS
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DUKE Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile.
We have some secrets to confer about.
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DUKE Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile.
We have some secrets to confer about.
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Exit THURIO
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Exit THURIO
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Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me?
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Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me?
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PROTEUS My gracious lord, that which I would discover
5 The law of friendship bids me to conceal;
But when I call to mind your gracious favors
Done to me, undeserving as I am,
My duty pricks me on to utter that
Which else no worldly good should draw from me.
10 Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine, my friend,
This night intends to steal away your daughter.
Myself am one made privy to the plot.
I know you have determined to bestow her
On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates;
15 And should she thus be stolen away from you,
It would be much vexation to your age.
Thus, for my duty’s sake, I rather chose
To cross my friend in his intended drift
Than, by concealing it, heap on your head
20 A pack of sorrows which would press you down,
Being unprevented, to your timeless grave.
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PROTEUS My gracious lord, that which I would discover
The law of friendship bids me to conceal;
But when I call to mind your gracious favors
Done to me, undeserving as I am,
My duty pricks me on to utter that
Which else no worldly good should draw from me.
Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine, my friend,
This night intends to steal away your daughter.
Myself am one made privy to the plot.
I know you have determined to bestow her
On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates;
And should she thus be stolen away from you,
It would be much vexation to your age.
Thus, for my duty’s sake, I rather chose
To cross my friend in his intended drift
Than, by concealing it, heap on your head
A pack of sorrows which would press you down,
Being unprevented, to your timeless grave.
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DUKE Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care,
Which to requite, command me while I live.
This love of theirs myself have often seen,
25 Haply when they have judged me fast asleep,
And oftentimes have purposed to forbid
Sir Valentine her company and my court.
But, fearing lest my jealous aim might err,
And so, unworthily, disgrace the man—
30 A rashness that I ever yet have shunned—
I gave him gentle looks, thereby to find
That which thyself hast now disclosed to me.
And, that thou mayst perceive my fear of this,
Knowing that tender youth is soon suggested,
35 I nightly lodge her in an upper tower,
The key whereof myself have ever kept;
And thence she cannot be conveyed away.
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DUKE Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care,
Which to requite, command me while I live.
This love of theirs myself have often seen,
Haply when they have judged me fast asleep,
And oftentimes have purposed to forbid
Sir Valentine her company and my court.
But, fearing lest my jealous aim might err,
And so, unworthily, disgrace the man—
A rashness that I ever yet have shunned—
I gave him gentle looks, thereby to find
That which thyself hast now disclosed to me.
And, that thou mayst perceive my fear of this,
Knowing that tender youth is soon suggested,
I nightly lodge her in an upper tower,
The key whereof myself have ever kept;
And thence she cannot be conveyed away.
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PROTEUS Know, noble lord, they have devised a means
How he her chamber window will ascend
40 And with a corded ladder fetch her down;
For which the youthful lover now is gone,
And this way comes he with it presently,
Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.
But, good my lord, do it so cunningly
45 That my discovery be not aimèd at;
For, love of you, not hate unto my friend,
Hath made me publisher of this pretence.
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PROTEUS Know, noble lord, they have devised a means
How he her chamber window will ascend
And with a corded ladder fetch her down;
For which the youthful lover now is gone,
And this way comes he with it presently,
Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.
But, good my lord, do it so cunningly
That my discovery be not aimèd at;
For, love of you, not hate unto my friend,
Hath made me publisher of this pretence.
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DUKE Upon mine honor, he shall never know
That I had any light from thee of this.
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DUKE Upon mine honor, he shall never know
That I had any light from thee of this.
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PROTEUS 50 Adieu, my lord. Sir Valentine is coming.
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PROTEUS Adieu, my lord. Sir Valentine is coming.
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Exit PROTEUS
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Exit PROTEUS
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Enter VALENTINE hurrying elsewhere, concealing a rope ladder beneath his cloak
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Enter VALENTINE hurrying elsewhere, concealing a rope ladder beneath his cloak
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DUKE Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?
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DUKE Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?
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VALENTINE Please it your Grace, there is a messenger
That stays to bear my letters to my friends,
And I am going to deliver them.
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VALENTINE Please it your Grace, there is a messenger
That stays to bear my letters to my friends,
And I am going to deliver them.
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DUKE 55 Be they of much import?
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DUKE Be they of much import?
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VALENTINE The tenor of them doth but signify
My health and happy being at your court.
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VALENTINE The tenor of them doth but signify
My health and happy being at your court.
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DUKE Nay then, no matter. Stay with me awhile.
I am to break with thee of some affairs
60 That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret.
’Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought
To match my friend Sir Thurio to my daughter.
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DUKE Nay then, no matter. Stay with me awhile.
I am to break with thee of some affairs
That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret.
’Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought
To match my friend Sir Thurio to my daughter.
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VALENTINE I know it well, my lord, and sure the match
Were rich and honorable. Besides, the gentleman
65 Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities
Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter.
Cannot your Grace win her to fancy him?
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VALENTINE I know it well, my lord, and sure the match
Were rich and honorable. Besides, the gentleman
Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities
Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter.
Cannot your Grace win her to fancy him?
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DUKE No, trust me. She is peevish, sullen, froward,
Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,
70 Neither regarding that she is my child
Nor fearing me as if I were her father.
And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,
Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her;
And, where I thought the remnant of mine age
75 Should have been cherished by her childlike duty,
I now am full resolved to take a wife,
And turn her out to who will take her in.
Then let her beauty be her wedding dower,
For me and my possessions she esteems not.
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DUKE No, trust me. She is peevish, sullen, froward,
Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,
Neither regarding that she is my child
Nor fearing me as if I were her father.
And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,
Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her;
And, where I thought the remnant of mine age
Should have been cherished by her childlike duty,
I now am full resolved to take a wife,
And turn her out to who will take her in.
Then let her beauty be her wedding dower,
For me and my possessions she esteems not.
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VALENTINE 80 What would your Grace have me to do in this?
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VALENTINE What would your Grace have me to do in this?
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DUKE There is a lady in Verona here
Whom I affect, but she is nice and coy,
And naught esteems my agèd eloquence.
Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor—
85 For long agone I have forgot to court;
Besides, the fashion of the time is changed—
How and which way I may bestow myself
To be regarded in her sun-bright eye.
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DUKE There is a lady in Verona here
Whom I affect, but she is nice and coy,
And naught esteems my agèd eloquence.
Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor—
For long agone I have forgot to court;
Besides, the fashion of the time is changed—
How and which way I may bestow myself
To be regarded in her sun-bright eye.
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VALENTINE Win her with gifts, if she respect not words.
90 Dumb jewels often in their silent kind
More than quick words do move a woman’s mind.
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VALENTINE Win her with gifts, if she respect not words.
Dumb jewels often in their silent kind
More than quick words do move a woman’s mind.
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DUKE But she did scorn a present that I sent her.
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DUKE But she did scorn a present that I sent her.
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VALENTINE A woman sometime scorns what best contents her.
Send her another. Never give her o’er,
95 For scorn at first makes after-love the more.
If she do frown, ’tis not in hate of you,
But rather to beget more love in you.
If she do chide, ’tis not to have you gone,
Forwhy the fools are mad if left alone.
100 Take no repulse, whatever she doth say;
For “Get you gone,” she doth not mean “Away!’”
Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces;
Though ne’er so black, say they have angels’ faces.
That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man
105 If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
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VALENTINE A woman sometime scorns what best contents her.
Send her another. Never give her o’er,
For scorn at first makes after-love the more.
If she do frown, ’tis not in hate of you,
But rather to beget more love in you.
If she do chide, ’tis not to have you gone,
Forwhy the fools are mad if left alone.
Take no repulse, whatever she doth say;
For “Get you gone,” she doth not mean “Away!’”
Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces;
Though ne’er so black, say they have angels’ faces.
That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
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DUKE But she I mean is promised by her friends
Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,
And kept severely from resort of men,
That no man hath access by day to her.
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DUKE But she I mean is promised by her friends
Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,
And kept severely from resort of men,
That no man hath access by day to her.
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VALENTINE 110 Why then I would resort to her by night.
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VALENTINE Why then I would resort to her by night.
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DUKE Ay, but the doors be locked and keys kept safe,
That no man hath recourse to her by night.
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DUKE Ay, but the doors be locked and keys kept safe,
That no man hath recourse to her by night.
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VALENTINE What lets but one may enter at her window?
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VALENTINE What lets but one may enter at her window?
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DUKE Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,
115 And built so shelving that one cannot climb it
Without apparent hazard of his life.
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DUKE Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,
And built so shelving that one cannot climb it
Without apparent hazard of his life.
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VALENTINE Why then, a ladder quaintly made of cords
To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,
Would serve to scale another Hero’s tower,
120 So bold Leander would adventure it.
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VALENTINE Why then, a ladder quaintly made of cords
To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,
Would serve to scale another Hero’s tower,
So bold Leander would adventure it.
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DUKE Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,
Advise me where I may have such a ladder.
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DUKE Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,
Advise me where I may have such a ladder.
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VALENTINE When would you use it? Pray, sir, tell me that.
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VALENTINE When would you use it? Pray, sir, tell me that.
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DUKE This very night; for Love is like a child,
125 That longs for everything that he can come by.
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DUKE This very night; for Love is like a child,
That longs for everything that he can come by.
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VALENTINE By seven o’clock I’ll get you such a ladder.
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VALENTINE By seven o’clock I’ll get you such a ladder.
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DUKE But, hark thee, I will go to her alone;
How shall I best convey the ladder thither?
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DUKE But, hark thee, I will go to her alone;
How shall I best convey the ladder thither?
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VALENTINE It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it
130 Under a cloak that is of any length.
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VALENTINE It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it
Under a cloak that is of any length.
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DUKE A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?
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DUKE A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?
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VALENTINE Ay, my good lord.
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VALENTINE Ay, my good lord.
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DUKE Then let me see thy cloak.
I’ll get me one of such another length.
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DUKE Then let me see thy cloak.
I’ll get me one of such another length.
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VALENTINE 135 Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.
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VALENTINE Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.
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DUKE How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?
I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.
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DUKE How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?
I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.
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He pulls open VALENTINE ’s cloak.
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He pulls open VALENTINE ’s cloak.
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What letter is this same? What’s here? “To Sylvia”!
And here an engine fit for my proceeding.
140 I’ll be so bold to break the seal for once.
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What letter is this same? What’s here? “To Sylvia”!
And here an engine fit for my proceeding.
I’ll be so bold to break the seal for once.
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Reads
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Reads
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“My thoughts do harbor with my Sylvia nightly,
And slaves they are to me, that send them flying.
O, could their master come and go as lightly,
Himself would lodge where, senseless, they are lying!
145 My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them,
While I, their king, that thither them importune,
Do curse the grace that with such grace hath blest them,
Because myself do want my servants’ fortune.
I curse myself, for they are sent by me,
150 That they should harbor where their lord should be.”
What’s here?
"Sylvia, this night I will enfranchise thee.”
’Tis so; and here’s the ladder for the purpose.
Why, Phaëthon, for thou art Merops’ son
155 Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car
And with thy daring folly burn the world?
Wilt thou reach stars because they shine on thee?
Go, base intruder, overweening slave!
Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,
160 And think my patience, more than thy desert,
Is privilege for thy departure hence.
Thank me for this more than for all the favors
Which, all too much, I have bestowed on thee.
But if thou linger in my territories
165 Longer than swiftest expedition
Will give thee time to leave our royal court,
By heaven, my wrath shall far exceed the love
I ever bore my daughter or thyself.
Begone! I will not hear thy vain excuse,
170 But, as thou lov’st thy life, make speed from hence.
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“My thoughts do harbor with my Sylvia nightly,
And slaves they are to me, that send them flying.
O, could their master come and go as lightly,
Himself would lodge where, senseless, they are lying!
My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them,
While I, their king, that thither them importune,
Do curse the grace that with such grace hath blest them,
Because myself do want my servants’ fortune.
I curse myself, for they are sent by me,
That they should harbor where their lord should be.”
What’s here?
"Sylvia, this night I will enfranchise thee.”
’Tis so; and here’s the ladder for the purpose.
Why, Phaëthon, for thou art Merops’ son
Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car
And with thy daring folly burn the world?
Wilt thou reach stars because they shine on thee?
Go, base intruder, overweening slave!
Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,
And think my patience, more than thy desert,
Is privilege for thy departure hence.
Thank me for this more than for all the favors
Which, all too much, I have bestowed on thee.
But if thou linger in my territories
Longer than swiftest expedition
Will give thee time to leave our royal court,
By heaven, my wrath shall far exceed the love
I ever bore my daughter or thyself.
Begone! I will not hear thy vain excuse,
But, as thou lov’st thy life, make speed from hence.
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Exit DUKE
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Exit DUKE
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VALENTINE And why not death rather than living torment?
To die is to be banished from myself,
And Sylvia is myself. Banished from her
Is self from self—a deadly banishment!
175 What light is light, if Sylvia be not seen?
What joy is joy, if Sylvia be not by?
Unless it be to think that she is by
And feed upon the shadow of perfection.
Except I be by Sylvia in the night,
180 There is no music in the nightingale;
Unless I look on Sylvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon.
She is my essence, and I leave to be
If I be not by her fair influence
185 Fostered, illumined, cherished, kept alive.
I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom;
Tarry I here, I but attend on death,
But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.
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VALENTINE And why not death rather than living torment?
To die is to be banished from myself,
And Sylvia is myself. Banished from her
Is self from self—a deadly banishment!
What light is light, if Sylvia be not seen?
What joy is joy, if Sylvia be not by?
Unless it be to think that she is by
And feed upon the shadow of perfection.
Except I be by Sylvia in the night,
There is no music in the nightingale;
Unless I look on Sylvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon.
She is my essence, and I leave to be
If I be not by her fair influence
Fostered, illumined, cherished, kept alive.
I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom;
Tarry I here, I but attend on death,
But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.
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Enter PROTEUS and LANCE
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Enter PROTEUS and LANCE
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PROTEUS Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.
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PROTEUS Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.
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LANCE 190 So-ho, so-ho!
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LANCE So-ho, so-ho!
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PROTEUS What seest thou?
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PROTEUS What seest thou?
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LANCE Him we go to find. There’s not a hair on ’s head but ’tis a Valentine.
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LANCE Him we go to find. There’s not a hair on ’s head but ’tis a Valentine.
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PROTEUS Valentine?
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PROTEUS Valentine?
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VALENTINE No.
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VALENTINE No.
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PROTEUS 195 Who then? His spirit?
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PROTEUS Who then? His spirit?
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VALENTINE Neither.
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VALENTINE Neither.
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PROTEUS What then?
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PROTEUS What then?
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VALENTINE Nothing.
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VALENTINE Nothing.
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LANCE Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
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LANCE Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
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PROTEUS 200 Who wouldst thou strike?
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PROTEUS Who wouldst thou strike?
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LANCE Nothing.
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LANCE Nothing.
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PROTEUS Villain, forbear.
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PROTEUS Villain, forbear.
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LANCE Why, sir, I’ll strike nothing. I pray you—
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LANCE Why, sir, I’ll strike nothing. I pray you—
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PROTEUS Sirrah, I say, forbear.—Friend Valentine, a word.
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PROTEUS Sirrah, I say, forbear.—Friend Valentine, a word.
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VALENTINE 205 My ears are stopped and cannot hear good news,
So much of bad already hath possessed them.
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VALENTINE My ears are stopped and cannot hear good news,
So much of bad already hath possessed them.
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PROTEUS Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad.
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PROTEUS Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad.
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VALENTINE Is Sylvia dead?
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VALENTINE Is Sylvia dead?
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PROTEUS 210 No, Valentine.
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PROTEUS No, Valentine.
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VALENTINE No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Sylvia.
Hath she forsworn me?
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VALENTINE No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Sylvia.
Hath she forsworn me?
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PROTEUS No, Valentine.
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PROTEUS No, Valentine.
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VALENTINE No Valentine, if Sylvia have forsworn me.
215 What is your news?
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VALENTINE No Valentine, if Sylvia have forsworn me.
What is your news?
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LANCE Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
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LANCE Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
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PROTEUS That thou art banished—O, that’s the news!—
From hence, from Sylvia, and from me thy friend.
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PROTEUS That thou art banished—O, that’s the news!—
From hence, from Sylvia, and from me thy friend.
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VALENTINE O, I have fed upon this woe already,
220 And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Doth Sylvia know that I am banished?
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VALENTINE O, I have fed upon this woe already,
And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Doth Sylvia know that I am banished?
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PROTEUS Ay, ay; and she hath offered to the doom—
Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force—
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears.
225 Those at her father’s churlish feet she tendered;
With them, upon her knees, her humble self,
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
As if but now they waxed pale for woe.
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
230 Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire,
But Valentine, if he be ta’en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
235 That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding there.
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PROTEUS Ay, ay; and she hath offered to the doom—
Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force—
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears.
Those at her father’s churlish feet she tendered;
With them, upon her knees, her humble self,
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
As if but now they waxed pale for woe.
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire,
But Valentine, if he be ta’en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding there.
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VALENTINE No more, unless the next word that thou speak’st
Have some malignant power upon my life!
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
240 As ending anthem of my endless dolor.
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VALENTINE No more, unless the next word that thou speak’st
Have some malignant power upon my life!
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
As ending anthem of my endless dolor.
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PROTEUS Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
And study help for that which thou lament’st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay thou canst not see thy love;
245 Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover’s staff; walk hence with that
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence,
Which, being writ to me, shall be delivered
250 Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate.
Come, I’ll convey thee through the city gate,
And, ere I part with thee confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love affairs.
255 As thou lov’st Sylvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me!
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PROTEUS Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
And study help for that which thou lament’st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay thou canst not see thy love;
Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover’s staff; walk hence with that
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence,
Which, being writ to me, shall be delivered
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate.
Come, I’ll convey thee through the city gate,
And, ere I part with thee confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love affairs.
As thou lov’st Sylvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me!
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VALENTINE I pray thee, Lance, an if thou seest my boy,
Bid him make haste and meet me at the north gate.
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VALENTINE I pray thee, Lance, an if thou seest my boy,
Bid him make haste and meet me at the north gate.
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PROTEUS Go, sirrah, find him out.—Come, Valentine.
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PROTEUS Go, sirrah, find him out.—Come, Valentine.
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VALENTINE 260 O my dear Sylvia! Hapless Valentine!
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VALENTINE O my dear Sylvia! Hapless Valentine!
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Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS
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Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS
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LANCE I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave. But that’s all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love, yet I am in love. But a team of horse shall not pluck that from me, nor who ’tis I love. And yet ’tis a woman, but what woman, I will not tell myself. And yet ’tis a milkmaid. Yet ’tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips. Yet ’tis a maid, for she is her master’s maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water spaniel, which is much in a bare Christian.
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LANCE I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave. But that’s all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love, yet I am in love. But a team of horse shall not pluck that from me, nor who ’tis I love. And yet ’tis a woman, but what woman, I will not tell myself. And yet ’tis a milkmaid. Yet ’tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips. Yet ’tis a maid, for she is her master’s maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water spaniel, which is much in a bare Christian.
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Pulling out a paper
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Pulling out a paper
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Here is the catalog of her condition. “Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.” Why, a horse can do no more. Nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. “Item: She can milk.” Look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
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Here is the catalog of her condition. “Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.” Why, a horse can do no more. Nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. “Item: She can milk.” Look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
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Enter SPEED
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Enter SPEED
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SPEED How now, Signor Lance, what news with your mastership?
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SPEED How now, Signor Lance, what news with your mastership?
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LANCE 265 With my master’s ship? Why, it is at sea.
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LANCE With my master’s ship? Why, it is at sea.
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SPEED Well, your old vice still: mistake the word. What news, then, in your paper?
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SPEED Well, your old vice still: mistake the word. What news, then, in your paper?
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LANCE The black’st news that ever thou heardest.
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LANCE The black’st news that ever thou heardest.
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SPEED Why, man, how black?
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SPEED Why, man, how black?
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LANCE Why, as black as ink.
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LANCE Why, as black as ink.
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SPEED 270 Let me read them.
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SPEED Let me read them.
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LANCE Fie on thee, jolt-head! Thou canst not read.
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LANCE Fie on thee, jolt-head! Thou canst not read.
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SPEED Thou liest. I can.
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SPEED Thou liest. I can.
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LANCE I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
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LANCE I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
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SPEED Marry, the son of my grandfather.
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SPEED Marry, the son of my grandfather.
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LANCE 275 O, illiterate loiterer! It was the son of thy grandmother. This proves that thou canst not read.
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LANCE O, illiterate loiterer! It was the son of thy grandmother. This proves that thou canst not read.
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SPEED Come, fool, come. Try me in thy paper.
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SPEED Come, fool, come. Try me in thy paper.
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LANCE There, [giving him the paper] and Saint Nicholas be thy speed!
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LANCE There, [giving him the paper] and Saint Nicholas be thy speed!
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SPEED [Reads.] “Imprimis, She can milk.”
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SPEED [Reads.] “Imprimis, She can milk.”
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LANCE Ay, that she can.
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LANCE Ay, that she can.
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SPEED 280 “Item: She brews good ale.”
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SPEED “Item: She brews good ale.”
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LANCE And thereof comes the proverb: “Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.”
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LANCE And thereof comes the proverb: “Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.”
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SPEED “Item: She can sew.”
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SPEED “Item: She can sew.”
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LANCE That’s as much as to say “Can she so?”
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LANCE That’s as much as to say “Can she so?”
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SPEED “Item: She can knit.”
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SPEED “Item: She can knit.”
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LANCE 285 What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock?
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LANCE What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock?
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SPEED “Item: She can wash and scour.”
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SPEED “Item: She can wash and scour.”
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LANCE A special virtue, for then she need not be washed and scoured.
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LANCE A special virtue, for then she need not be washed and scoured.
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SPEED “Item: She can spin.”
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SPEED “Item: She can spin.”
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LANCE Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living.
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LANCE Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living.
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SPEED 290 “Item: She hath many nameless virtues.”
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SPEED “Item: She hath many nameless virtues.”
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LANCE That’s as much as to say, bastard virtues, that indeed know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
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LANCE That’s as much as to say, bastard virtues, that indeed know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
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SPEED Here follow her vices.
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SPEED Here follow her vices.
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LANCE Close at the heels of her virtues.
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LANCE Close at the heels of her virtues.
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SPEED “Item: She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath.”
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SPEED “Item: She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath.”
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LANCE 295 Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
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LANCE Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
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SPEED “Item: She hath a sweet mouth.”
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SPEED “Item: She hath a sweet mouth.”
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LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath.
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LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath.
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SPEED “Item: She doth talk in her sleep.”
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SPEED “Item: She doth talk in her sleep.”
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LANCE It’s no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
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LANCE It’s no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
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SPEED 300 “Item: She is slow in words.”
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SPEED “Item: She is slow in words.”
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LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman’s only virtue. I pray thee, out with ’t, and place it for her chief virtue.
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LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman’s only virtue. I pray thee, out with ’t, and place it for her chief virtue.
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SPEED “Item: She is proud.”
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SPEED “Item: She is proud.”
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LANCE Out with that too; it was Eve’s legacy, and cannot be ta’en from her.
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LANCE Out with that too; it was Eve’s legacy, and cannot be ta’en from her.
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SPEED “Item: She hath no teeth.”
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SPEED “Item: She hath no teeth.”
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LANCE 305 I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
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LANCE I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
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SPEED “Item: She is curst.”
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SPEED “Item: She is curst.”
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LANCE Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
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LANCE Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
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SPEED “Item: She will often praise her liquor.”
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SPEED “Item: She will often praise her liquor.”
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LANCE If her liquor be good, she shall. If she will not, I will, for good things should be praised.
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LANCE If her liquor be good, she shall. If she will not, I will, for good things should be praised.
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SPEED 310 “Item: She is too liberal.”
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SPEED “Item: She is too liberal.”
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LANCE Of her tongue she cannot, for that’s writ down she is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that I’ll keep shut. Now of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
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LANCE Of her tongue she cannot, for that’s writ down she is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that I’ll keep shut. Now of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
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SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.”
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SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.”
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LANCE Stop there; I’ll have her; she was mine and not mine twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more.
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LANCE Stop there; I’ll have her; she was mine and not mine twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more.
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SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit—”
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SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit—”
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LANCE 315 More hair than wit? It may be: I’ll prove it. The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What’s next?
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LANCE More hair than wit? It may be: I’ll prove it. The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What’s next?
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SPEED “And more faults than hairs—”
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SPEED “And more faults than hairs—”
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LANCE That’s monstrous. O, that that were out!
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LANCE That’s monstrous. O, that that were out!
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SPEED “And more wealth than faults.”
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SPEED “And more wealth than faults.”
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LANCE Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I’ll have her; an if it be a match, as nothing is impossible—
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LANCE Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I’ll have her; an if it be a match, as nothing is impossible—
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SPEED 320 What then?
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SPEED What then?
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LANCE Why, then will I tell thee—that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.
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LANCE Why, then will I tell thee—that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.
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SPEED For me?
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SPEED For me?
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LANCE For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a better man than thee.
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LANCE For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a better man than thee.
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SPEED And must I go to him?
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SPEED And must I go to him?
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LANCE 325 Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long that going will scarce serve the turn.
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LANCE Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long that going will scarce serve the turn.
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SPEED Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of your love letters!
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SPEED Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of your love letters!
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Exit SPEED
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Exit SPEED
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LANCE Now will he be swinged for reading my letter—an unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! I’ll after, to rejoice in the boy’s correction.
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LANCE Now will he be swinged for reading my letter—an unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! I’ll after, to rejoice in the boy’s correction.
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Exit
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Exit
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Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter DUKE , THURIO , and PROTEUS
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Enter DUKE , THURIO , and PROTEUS
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DUKE Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile.
We have some secrets to confer about.
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DUKE Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile.
We have some secrets to confer about.
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Exit THURIO
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Exit THURIO
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Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me?
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Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me?
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PROTEUS My gracious lord, that which I would discover
5 The law of friendship bids me to conceal;
But when I call to mind your gracious favors
Done to me, undeserving as I am,
My duty pricks me on to utter that
Which else no worldly good should draw from me.
10 Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine, my friend,
This night intends to steal away your daughter.
Myself am one made privy to the plot.
I know you have determined to bestow her
On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates;
15 And should she thus be stolen away from you,
It would be much vexation to your age.
Thus, for my duty’s sake, I rather chose
To cross my friend in his intended drift
Than, by concealing it, heap on your head
20 A pack of sorrows which would press you down,
Being unprevented, to your timeless grave.
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PROTEUS My gracious lord, that which I would discover
The law of friendship bids me to conceal;
But when I call to mind your gracious favors
Done to me, undeserving as I am,
My duty pricks me on to utter that
Which else no worldly good should draw from me.
Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine, my friend,
This night intends to steal away your daughter.
Myself am one made privy to the plot.
I know you have determined to bestow her
On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates;
And should she thus be stolen away from you,
It would be much vexation to your age.
Thus, for my duty’s sake, I rather chose
To cross my friend in his intended drift
Than, by concealing it, heap on your head
A pack of sorrows which would press you down,
Being unprevented, to your timeless grave.
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DUKE Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care,
Which to requite, command me while I live.
This love of theirs myself have often seen,
25 Haply when they have judged me fast asleep,
And oftentimes have purposed to forbid
Sir Valentine her company and my court.
But, fearing lest my jealous aim might err,
And so, unworthily, disgrace the man—
30 A rashness that I ever yet have shunned—
I gave him gentle looks, thereby to find
That which thyself hast now disclosed to me.
And, that thou mayst perceive my fear of this,
Knowing that tender youth is soon suggested,
35 I nightly lodge her in an upper tower,
The key whereof myself have ever kept;
And thence she cannot be conveyed away.
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DUKE Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care,
Which to requite, command me while I live.
This love of theirs myself have often seen,
Haply when they have judged me fast asleep,
And oftentimes have purposed to forbid
Sir Valentine her company and my court.
But, fearing lest my jealous aim might err,
And so, unworthily, disgrace the man—
A rashness that I ever yet have shunned—
I gave him gentle looks, thereby to find
That which thyself hast now disclosed to me.
And, that thou mayst perceive my fear of this,
Knowing that tender youth is soon suggested,
I nightly lodge her in an upper tower,
The key whereof myself have ever kept;
And thence she cannot be conveyed away.
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PROTEUS Know, noble lord, they have devised a means
How he her chamber window will ascend
40 And with a corded ladder fetch her down;
For which the youthful lover now is gone,
And this way comes he with it presently,
Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.
But, good my lord, do it so cunningly
45 That my discovery be not aimèd at;
For, love of you, not hate unto my friend,
Hath made me publisher of this pretence.
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PROTEUS Know, noble lord, they have devised a means
How he her chamber window will ascend
And with a corded ladder fetch her down;
For which the youthful lover now is gone,
And this way comes he with it presently,
Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.
But, good my lord, do it so cunningly
That my discovery be not aimèd at;
For, love of you, not hate unto my friend,
Hath made me publisher of this pretence.
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DUKE Upon mine honor, he shall never know
That I had any light from thee of this.
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DUKE Upon mine honor, he shall never know
That I had any light from thee of this.
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PROTEUS 50 Adieu, my lord. Sir Valentine is coming.
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PROTEUS Adieu, my lord. Sir Valentine is coming.
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Exit PROTEUS
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Exit PROTEUS
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Enter VALENTINE hurrying elsewhere, concealing a rope ladder beneath his cloak
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Enter VALENTINE hurrying elsewhere, concealing a rope ladder beneath his cloak
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DUKE Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?
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DUKE Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?
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VALENTINE Please it your Grace, there is a messenger
That stays to bear my letters to my friends,
And I am going to deliver them.
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VALENTINE Please it your Grace, there is a messenger
That stays to bear my letters to my friends,
And I am going to deliver them.
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DUKE 55 Be they of much import?
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DUKE Be they of much import?
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VALENTINE The tenor of them doth but signify
My health and happy being at your court.
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VALENTINE The tenor of them doth but signify
My health and happy being at your court.
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DUKE Nay then, no matter. Stay with me awhile.
I am to break with thee of some affairs
60 That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret.
’Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought
To match my friend Sir Thurio to my daughter.
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DUKE Nay then, no matter. Stay with me awhile.
I am to break with thee of some affairs
That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret.
’Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought
To match my friend Sir Thurio to my daughter.
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VALENTINE I know it well, my lord, and sure the match
Were rich and honorable. Besides, the gentleman
65 Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities
Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter.
Cannot your Grace win her to fancy him?
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VALENTINE I know it well, my lord, and sure the match
Were rich and honorable. Besides, the gentleman
Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities
Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter.
Cannot your Grace win her to fancy him?
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DUKE No, trust me. She is peevish, sullen, froward,
Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,
70 Neither regarding that she is my child
Nor fearing me as if I were her father.
And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,
Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her;
And, where I thought the remnant of mine age
75 Should have been cherished by her childlike duty,
I now am full resolved to take a wife,
And turn her out to who will take her in.
Then let her beauty be her wedding dower,
For me and my possessions she esteems not.
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DUKE No, trust me. She is peevish, sullen, froward,
Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,
Neither regarding that she is my child
Nor fearing me as if I were her father.
And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,
Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her;
And, where I thought the remnant of mine age
Should have been cherished by her childlike duty,
I now am full resolved to take a wife,
And turn her out to who will take her in.
Then let her beauty be her wedding dower,
For me and my possessions she esteems not.
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VALENTINE 80 What would your Grace have me to do in this?
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VALENTINE What would your Grace have me to do in this?
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DUKE There is a lady in Verona here
Whom I affect, but she is nice and coy,
And naught esteems my agèd eloquence.
Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor—
85 For long agone I have forgot to court;
Besides, the fashion of the time is changed—
How and which way I may bestow myself
To be regarded in her sun-bright eye.
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DUKE There is a lady in Verona here
Whom I affect, but she is nice and coy,
And naught esteems my agèd eloquence.
Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor—
For long agone I have forgot to court;
Besides, the fashion of the time is changed—
How and which way I may bestow myself
To be regarded in her sun-bright eye.
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VALENTINE Win her with gifts, if she respect not words.
90 Dumb jewels often in their silent kind
More than quick words do move a woman’s mind.
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VALENTINE Win her with gifts, if she respect not words.
Dumb jewels often in their silent kind
More than quick words do move a woman’s mind.
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DUKE But she did scorn a present that I sent her.
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DUKE But she did scorn a present that I sent her.
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VALENTINE A woman sometime scorns what best contents her.
Send her another. Never give her o’er,
95 For scorn at first makes after-love the more.
If she do frown, ’tis not in hate of you,
But rather to beget more love in you.
If she do chide, ’tis not to have you gone,
Forwhy the fools are mad if left alone.
100 Take no repulse, whatever she doth say;
For “Get you gone,” she doth not mean “Away!’”
Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces;
Though ne’er so black, say they have angels’ faces.
That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man
105 If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
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VALENTINE A woman sometime scorns what best contents her.
Send her another. Never give her o’er,
For scorn at first makes after-love the more.
If she do frown, ’tis not in hate of you,
But rather to beget more love in you.
If she do chide, ’tis not to have you gone,
Forwhy the fools are mad if left alone.
Take no repulse, whatever she doth say;
For “Get you gone,” she doth not mean “Away!’”
Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces;
Though ne’er so black, say they have angels’ faces.
That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
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DUKE But she I mean is promised by her friends
Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,
And kept severely from resort of men,
That no man hath access by day to her.
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DUKE But she I mean is promised by her friends
Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,
And kept severely from resort of men,
That no man hath access by day to her.
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VALENTINE 110 Why then I would resort to her by night.
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VALENTINE Why then I would resort to her by night.
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DUKE Ay, but the doors be locked and keys kept safe,
That no man hath recourse to her by night.
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DUKE Ay, but the doors be locked and keys kept safe,
That no man hath recourse to her by night.
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VALENTINE What lets but one may enter at her window?
|
VALENTINE What lets but one may enter at her window?
|
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DUKE Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,
115 And built so shelving that one cannot climb it
Without apparent hazard of his life.
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DUKE Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,
And built so shelving that one cannot climb it
Without apparent hazard of his life.
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VALENTINE Why then, a ladder quaintly made of cords
To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,
Would serve to scale another Hero’s tower,
120 So bold Leander would adventure it.
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VALENTINE Why then, a ladder quaintly made of cords
To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,
Would serve to scale another Hero’s tower,
So bold Leander would adventure it.
|
|
DUKE Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,
Advise me where I may have such a ladder.
|
DUKE Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,
Advise me where I may have such a ladder.
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|
VALENTINE When would you use it? Pray, sir, tell me that.
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VALENTINE When would you use it? Pray, sir, tell me that.
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DUKE This very night; for Love is like a child,
125 That longs for everything that he can come by.
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DUKE This very night; for Love is like a child,
That longs for everything that he can come by.
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VALENTINE By seven o’clock I’ll get you such a ladder.
|
VALENTINE By seven o’clock I’ll get you such a ladder.
|
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DUKE But, hark thee, I will go to her alone;
How shall I best convey the ladder thither?
|
DUKE But, hark thee, I will go to her alone;
How shall I best convey the ladder thither?
|
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VALENTINE It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it
130 Under a cloak that is of any length.
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VALENTINE It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it
Under a cloak that is of any length.
|
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DUKE A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?
|
DUKE A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?
|
|
VALENTINE Ay, my good lord.
|
VALENTINE Ay, my good lord.
|
|
DUKE Then let me see thy cloak.
I’ll get me one of such another length.
|
DUKE Then let me see thy cloak.
I’ll get me one of such another length.
|
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VALENTINE 135 Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.
|
VALENTINE Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.
|
|
DUKE How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?
I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.
|
DUKE How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?
I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.
|
|
He pulls open VALENTINE ’s cloak.
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He pulls open VALENTINE ’s cloak.
|
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What letter is this same? What’s here? “To Sylvia”!
And here an engine fit for my proceeding.
140 I’ll be so bold to break the seal for once.
|
What letter is this same? What’s here? “To Sylvia”!
And here an engine fit for my proceeding.
I’ll be so bold to break the seal for once.
|
|
Reads
|
Reads
|
|
“My thoughts do harbor with my Sylvia nightly,
And slaves they are to me, that send them flying.
O, could their master come and go as lightly,
Himself would lodge where, senseless, they are lying!
145 My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them,
While I, their king, that thither them importune,
Do curse the grace that with such grace hath blest them,
Because myself do want my servants’ fortune.
I curse myself, for they are sent by me,
150 That they should harbor where their lord should be.”
What’s here?
"Sylvia, this night I will enfranchise thee.”
’Tis so; and here’s the ladder for the purpose.
Why, Phaëthon, for thou art Merops’ son
155 Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car
And with thy daring folly burn the world?
Wilt thou reach stars because they shine on thee?
Go, base intruder, overweening slave!
Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,
160 And think my patience, more than thy desert,
Is privilege for thy departure hence.
Thank me for this more than for all the favors
Which, all too much, I have bestowed on thee.
But if thou linger in my territories
165 Longer than swiftest expedition
Will give thee time to leave our royal court,
By heaven, my wrath shall far exceed the love
I ever bore my daughter or thyself.
Begone! I will not hear thy vain excuse,
170 But, as thou lov’st thy life, make speed from hence.
|
“My thoughts do harbor with my Sylvia nightly,
And slaves they are to me, that send them flying.
O, could their master come and go as lightly,
Himself would lodge where, senseless, they are lying!
My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them,
While I, their king, that thither them importune,
Do curse the grace that with such grace hath blest them,
Because myself do want my servants’ fortune.
I curse myself, for they are sent by me,
That they should harbor where their lord should be.”
What’s here?
"Sylvia, this night I will enfranchise thee.”
’Tis so; and here’s the ladder for the purpose.
Why, Phaëthon, for thou art Merops’ son
Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car
And with thy daring folly burn the world?
Wilt thou reach stars because they shine on thee?
Go, base intruder, overweening slave!
Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,
And think my patience, more than thy desert,
Is privilege for thy departure hence.
Thank me for this more than for all the favors
Which, all too much, I have bestowed on thee.
But if thou linger in my territories
Longer than swiftest expedition
Will give thee time to leave our royal court,
By heaven, my wrath shall far exceed the love
I ever bore my daughter or thyself.
Begone! I will not hear thy vain excuse,
But, as thou lov’st thy life, make speed from hence.
|
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Exit DUKE
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Exit DUKE
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VALENTINE And why not death rather than living torment?
To die is to be banished from myself,
And Sylvia is myself. Banished from her
Is self from self—a deadly banishment!
175 What light is light, if Sylvia be not seen?
What joy is joy, if Sylvia be not by?
Unless it be to think that she is by
And feed upon the shadow of perfection.
Except I be by Sylvia in the night,
180 There is no music in the nightingale;
Unless I look on Sylvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon.
She is my essence, and I leave to be
If I be not by her fair influence
185 Fostered, illumined, cherished, kept alive.
I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom;
Tarry I here, I but attend on death,
But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.
|
VALENTINE And why not death rather than living torment?
To die is to be banished from myself,
And Sylvia is myself. Banished from her
Is self from self—a deadly banishment!
What light is light, if Sylvia be not seen?
What joy is joy, if Sylvia be not by?
Unless it be to think that she is by
And feed upon the shadow of perfection.
Except I be by Sylvia in the night,
There is no music in the nightingale;
Unless I look on Sylvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon.
She is my essence, and I leave to be
If I be not by her fair influence
Fostered, illumined, cherished, kept alive.
I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom;
Tarry I here, I but attend on death,
But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.
|
|
Enter PROTEUS and LANCE
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Enter PROTEUS and LANCE
|
|
PROTEUS Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.
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PROTEUS Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.
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LANCE 190 So-ho, so-ho!
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LANCE So-ho, so-ho!
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PROTEUS What seest thou?
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PROTEUS What seest thou?
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LANCE Him we go to find. There’s not a hair on ’s head but ’tis a Valentine.
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LANCE Him we go to find. There’s not a hair on ’s head but ’tis a Valentine.
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|
PROTEUS Valentine?
|
PROTEUS Valentine?
|
|
VALENTINE No.
|
VALENTINE No.
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|
PROTEUS 195 Who then? His spirit?
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PROTEUS Who then? His spirit?
|
|
VALENTINE Neither.
|
VALENTINE Neither.
|
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PROTEUS What then?
|
PROTEUS What then?
|
|
VALENTINE Nothing.
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VALENTINE Nothing.
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LANCE Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
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LANCE Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
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PROTEUS 200 Who wouldst thou strike?
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PROTEUS Who wouldst thou strike?
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LANCE Nothing.
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LANCE Nothing.
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PROTEUS Villain, forbear.
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PROTEUS Villain, forbear.
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LANCE Why, sir, I’ll strike nothing. I pray you—
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LANCE Why, sir, I’ll strike nothing. I pray you—
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PROTEUS Sirrah, I say, forbear.—Friend Valentine, a word.
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PROTEUS Sirrah, I say, forbear.—Friend Valentine, a word.
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VALENTINE 205 My ears are stopped and cannot hear good news,
So much of bad already hath possessed them.
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VALENTINE My ears are stopped and cannot hear good news,
So much of bad already hath possessed them.
|
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PROTEUS Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad.
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PROTEUS Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad.
|
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VALENTINE Is Sylvia dead?
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VALENTINE Is Sylvia dead?
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PROTEUS 210 No, Valentine.
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PROTEUS No, Valentine.
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VALENTINE No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Sylvia.
Hath she forsworn me?
|
VALENTINE No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Sylvia.
Hath she forsworn me?
|
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PROTEUS No, Valentine.
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PROTEUS No, Valentine.
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VALENTINE No Valentine, if Sylvia have forsworn me.
215 What is your news?
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VALENTINE No Valentine, if Sylvia have forsworn me.
What is your news?
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LANCE Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
|
LANCE Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
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PROTEUS That thou art banished—O, that’s the news!—
From hence, from Sylvia, and from me thy friend.
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PROTEUS That thou art banished—O, that’s the news!—
From hence, from Sylvia, and from me thy friend.
|
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VALENTINE O, I have fed upon this woe already,
220 And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Doth Sylvia know that I am banished?
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VALENTINE O, I have fed upon this woe already,
And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Doth Sylvia know that I am banished?
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|
PROTEUS Ay, ay; and she hath offered to the doom—
Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force—
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears.
225 Those at her father’s churlish feet she tendered;
With them, upon her knees, her humble self,
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
As if but now they waxed pale for woe.
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
230 Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire,
But Valentine, if he be ta’en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
235 That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding there.
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PROTEUS Ay, ay; and she hath offered to the doom—
Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force—
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears.
Those at her father’s churlish feet she tendered;
With them, upon her knees, her humble self,
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
As if but now they waxed pale for woe.
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire,
But Valentine, if he be ta’en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding there.
|
|
VALENTINE No more, unless the next word that thou speak’st
Have some malignant power upon my life!
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
240 As ending anthem of my endless dolor.
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VALENTINE No more, unless the next word that thou speak’st
Have some malignant power upon my life!
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
As ending anthem of my endless dolor.
|
|
PROTEUS Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
And study help for that which thou lament’st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay thou canst not see thy love;
245 Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover’s staff; walk hence with that
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence,
Which, being writ to me, shall be delivered
250 Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate.
Come, I’ll convey thee through the city gate,
And, ere I part with thee confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love affairs.
255 As thou lov’st Sylvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me!
|
PROTEUS Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
And study help for that which thou lament’st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay thou canst not see thy love;
Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover’s staff; walk hence with that
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence,
Which, being writ to me, shall be delivered
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate.
Come, I’ll convey thee through the city gate,
And, ere I part with thee confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love affairs.
As thou lov’st Sylvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me!
|
|
VALENTINE I pray thee, Lance, an if thou seest my boy,
Bid him make haste and meet me at the north gate.
|
VALENTINE I pray thee, Lance, an if thou seest my boy,
Bid him make haste and meet me at the north gate.
|
|
PROTEUS Go, sirrah, find him out.—Come, Valentine.
|
PROTEUS Go, sirrah, find him out.—Come, Valentine.
|
|
VALENTINE 260 O my dear Sylvia! Hapless Valentine!
|
VALENTINE O my dear Sylvia! Hapless Valentine!
|
|
Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS
|
Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS
|
|
LANCE I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave. But that’s all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love, yet I am in love. But a team of horse shall not pluck that from me, nor who ’tis I love. And yet ’tis a woman, but what woman, I will not tell myself. And yet ’tis a milkmaid. Yet ’tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips. Yet ’tis a maid, for she is her master’s maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water spaniel, which is much in a bare Christian.
|
LANCE I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave. But that’s all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love, yet I am in love. But a team of horse shall not pluck that from me, nor who ’tis I love. And yet ’tis a woman, but what woman, I will not tell myself. And yet ’tis a milkmaid. Yet ’tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips. Yet ’tis a maid, for she is her master’s maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water spaniel, which is much in a bare Christian.
|
|
Pulling out a paper
|
Pulling out a paper
|
|
Here is the catalog of her condition. “Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.” Why, a horse can do no more. Nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. “Item: She can milk.” Look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
|
Here is the catalog of her condition. “Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.” Why, a horse can do no more. Nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. “Item: She can milk.” Look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
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|
Enter SPEED
|
Enter SPEED
|
|
SPEED How now, Signor Lance, what news with your mastership?
|
SPEED How now, Signor Lance, what news with your mastership?
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LANCE 265 With my master’s ship? Why, it is at sea.
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LANCE With my master’s ship? Why, it is at sea.
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SPEED Well, your old vice still: mistake the word. What news, then, in your paper?
|
SPEED Well, your old vice still: mistake the word. What news, then, in your paper?
|
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LANCE The black’st news that ever thou heardest.
|
LANCE The black’st news that ever thou heardest.
|
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SPEED Why, man, how black?
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SPEED Why, man, how black?
|
|
LANCE Why, as black as ink.
|
LANCE Why, as black as ink.
|
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SPEED 270 Let me read them.
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SPEED Let me read them.
|
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LANCE Fie on thee, jolt-head! Thou canst not read.
|
LANCE Fie on thee, jolt-head! Thou canst not read.
|
|
SPEED Thou liest. I can.
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SPEED Thou liest. I can.
|
|
LANCE I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
|
LANCE I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
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SPEED Marry, the son of my grandfather.
|
SPEED Marry, the son of my grandfather.
|
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LANCE 275 O, illiterate loiterer! It was the son of thy grandmother. This proves that thou canst not read.
|
LANCE O, illiterate loiterer! It was the son of thy grandmother. This proves that thou canst not read.
|
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SPEED Come, fool, come. Try me in thy paper.
|
SPEED Come, fool, come. Try me in thy paper.
|
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LANCE There, [giving him the paper] and Saint Nicholas be thy speed!
|
LANCE There, [giving him the paper] and Saint Nicholas be thy speed!
|
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SPEED [Reads.] “Imprimis, She can milk.”
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SPEED [Reads.] “Imprimis, She can milk.”
|
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LANCE Ay, that she can.
|
LANCE Ay, that she can.
|
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SPEED 280 “Item: She brews good ale.”
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SPEED “Item: She brews good ale.”
|
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LANCE And thereof comes the proverb: “Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.”
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LANCE And thereof comes the proverb: “Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.”
|
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SPEED “Item: She can sew.”
|
SPEED “Item: She can sew.”
|
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LANCE That’s as much as to say “Can she so?”
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LANCE That’s as much as to say “Can she so?”
|
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SPEED “Item: She can knit.”
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SPEED “Item: She can knit.”
|
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LANCE 285 What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock?
|
LANCE What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock?
|
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SPEED “Item: She can wash and scour.”
|
SPEED “Item: She can wash and scour.”
|
|
LANCE A special virtue, for then she need not be washed and scoured.
|
LANCE A special virtue, for then she need not be washed and scoured.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She can spin.”
|
SPEED “Item: She can spin.”
|
|
LANCE Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living.
|
LANCE Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living.
|
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SPEED 290 “Item: She hath many nameless virtues.”
|
SPEED “Item: She hath many nameless virtues.”
|
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LANCE That’s as much as to say, bastard virtues, that indeed know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
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LANCE That’s as much as to say, bastard virtues, that indeed know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
|
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SPEED Here follow her vices.
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SPEED Here follow her vices.
|
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LANCE Close at the heels of her virtues.
|
LANCE Close at the heels of her virtues.
|
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SPEED “Item: She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath.”
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SPEED “Item: She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath.”
|
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LANCE 295 Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
|
LANCE Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
|
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SPEED “Item: She hath a sweet mouth.”
|
SPEED “Item: She hath a sweet mouth.”
|
|
LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath.
|
LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She doth talk in her sleep.”
|
SPEED “Item: She doth talk in her sleep.”
|
|
LANCE It’s no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
|
LANCE It’s no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
|
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SPEED 300 “Item: She is slow in words.”
|
SPEED “Item: She is slow in words.”
|
|
LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman’s only virtue. I pray thee, out with ’t, and place it for her chief virtue.
|
LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman’s only virtue. I pray thee, out with ’t, and place it for her chief virtue.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She is proud.”
|
SPEED “Item: She is proud.”
|
|
LANCE Out with that too; it was Eve’s legacy, and cannot be ta’en from her.
|
LANCE Out with that too; it was Eve’s legacy, and cannot be ta’en from her.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She hath no teeth.”
|
SPEED “Item: She hath no teeth.”
|
|
LANCE 305 I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
|
LANCE I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She is curst.”
|
SPEED “Item: She is curst.”
|
|
LANCE Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
|
LANCE Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She will often praise her liquor.”
|
SPEED “Item: She will often praise her liquor.”
|
|
LANCE If her liquor be good, she shall. If she will not, I will, for good things should be praised.
|
LANCE If her liquor be good, she shall. If she will not, I will, for good things should be praised.
|
|
SPEED 310 “Item: She is too liberal.”
|
SPEED “Item: She is too liberal.”
|
|
LANCE Of her tongue she cannot, for that’s writ down she is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that I’ll keep shut. Now of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
|
LANCE Of her tongue she cannot, for that’s writ down she is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that I’ll keep shut. Now of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.”
|
SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.”
|
|
LANCE Stop there; I’ll have her; she was mine and not mine twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more.
|
LANCE Stop there; I’ll have her; she was mine and not mine twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more.
|
|
SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit—”
|
SPEED “Item: She hath more hair than wit—”
|
|
LANCE 315 More hair than wit? It may be: I’ll prove it. The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What’s next?
|
LANCE More hair than wit? It may be: I’ll prove it. The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What’s next?
|
|
SPEED “And more faults than hairs—”
|
SPEED “And more faults than hairs—”
|
|
LANCE That’s monstrous. O, that that were out!
|
LANCE That’s monstrous. O, that that were out!
|
|
SPEED “And more wealth than faults.”
|
SPEED “And more wealth than faults.”
|
|
LANCE Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I’ll have her; an if it be a match, as nothing is impossible—
|
LANCE Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I’ll have her; an if it be a match, as nothing is impossible—
|
|
SPEED 320 What then?
|
SPEED What then?
|
|
LANCE Why, then will I tell thee—that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.
|
LANCE Why, then will I tell thee—that thy master stays for thee at the north gate.
|
|
SPEED For me?
|
SPEED For me?
|
|
LANCE For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a better man than thee.
|
LANCE For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a better man than thee.
|
|
SPEED And must I go to him?
|
SPEED And must I go to him?
|
|
LANCE 325 Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long that going will scarce serve the turn.
|
LANCE Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long that going will scarce serve the turn.
|
|
SPEED Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of your love letters!
|
SPEED Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of your love letters!
|
|
Exit SPEED
|
Exit SPEED
|
|
LANCE Now will he be swinged for reading my letter—an unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! I’ll after, to rejoice in the boy’s correction.
|
LANCE Now will he be swinged for reading my letter—an unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! I’ll after, to rejoice in the boy’s correction.
|
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
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