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No Fear Translations
No Fear Audio
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Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO
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Enter BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO
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MERCUTIO Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
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MERCUTIO Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
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BENVOLIO Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
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BENVOLIO Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
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MERCUTIO Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
5 Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
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MERCUTIO Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
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BENVOLIO Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
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BENVOLIO Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
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MERCUTIO A challenge, on my life.
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MERCUTIO A challenge, on my life.
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BENVOLIO Romeo will answer it.
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BENVOLIO Romeo will answer it.
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MERCUTIO 10 Any man that can write may answer a letter.
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MERCUTIO Any man that can write may answer a letter.
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BENVOLIO Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
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BENVOLIO Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
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MERCUTIO Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
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MERCUTIO Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO Why, what is Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO Why, what is Tybalt?
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MERCUTIO More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hai!
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MERCUTIO More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hai!
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BENVOLIO 15 The what?
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BENVOLIO The what?
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MERCUTIO The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
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MERCUTIO The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
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Enter ROMEO
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Enter ROMEO
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BENVOLIO Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
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BENVOLIO Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
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MERCUTIO Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
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MERCUTIO Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
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ROMEO Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
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ROMEO Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
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MERCUTIO 20 The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
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MERCUTIO The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
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ROMEO Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
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ROMEO Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
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MERCUTIO That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
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MERCUTIO That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
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ROMEO Meaning “to curtsy”?
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ROMEO Meaning “to curtsy”?
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MERCUTIO Thou hast most kindly hit it.
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MERCUTIO Thou hast most kindly hit it.
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ROMEO 25 A most courteous exposition.
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ROMEO A most courteous exposition.
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MERCUTIO Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
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MERCUTIO Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
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ROMEO Pink for flower.
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ROMEO Pink for flower.
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MERCUTIO Right.
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MERCUTIO Right.
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ROMEO Why, then is my pump well flowered.
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ROMEO Why, then is my pump well flowered.
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MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
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ROMEO O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
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ROMEO O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
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MERCUTIO Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
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MERCUTIO Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
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ROMEO Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
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ROMEO Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
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MERCUTIO Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
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MERCUTIO Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
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ROMEO |
ROMEO |
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MERCUTIO I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
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MERCUTIO I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
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ROMEO Nay, good goose, bite not.
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ROMEO Nay, good goose, bite not.
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MERCUTIO Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
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MERCUTIO Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
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ROMEO And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
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ROMEO And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
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MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
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ROMEO I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
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ROMEO I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
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MERCUTIO Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
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MERCUTIO Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
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BENVOLIO Stop there, stop there.
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BENVOLIO Stop there, stop there.
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MERCUTIO Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
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MERCUTIO Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
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BENVOLIO 45 Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
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BENVOLIO Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
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MERCUTIO Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
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MERCUTIO Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
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Enter NURSE and her man PETER
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Enter NURSE and her man PETER
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ROMEO Here’s goodly gear.
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ROMEO Here’s goodly gear.
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BENVOLIO A sail, a sail!
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BENVOLIO A sail, a sail!
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MERCUTIO Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
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MERCUTIO Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
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NURSE 50 Peter!
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NURSE Peter!
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PETER Anon!
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PETER Anon!
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NURSE My fan, Peter.
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NURSE My fan, Peter.
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MERCUTIO Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
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MERCUTIO Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
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NURSE God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
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NURSE God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
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MERCUTIO 55 God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
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MERCUTIO God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
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NURSE Is it good e'en?
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NURSE Is it good e'en?
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MERCUTIO 'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
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MERCUTIO 'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
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NURSE Out upon you! What a man are you?
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NURSE Out upon you! What a man are you?
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MERCUTIO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
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MERCUTIO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
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NURSE |
NURSE |
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ROMEO I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
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ROMEO I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
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NURSE You say well.
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NURSE You say well.
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MERCUTIO Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
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MERCUTIO Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
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NURSE If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
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NURSE If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
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BENVOLIO 65 She will indite him to some supper.
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BENVOLIO She will indite him to some supper.
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MERCUTIO A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
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MERCUTIO A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
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ROMEO What hast thou found?
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ROMEO What hast thou found?
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MERCUTIO No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
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MERCUTIO No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
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(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
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(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
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Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
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Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
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ROMEO I will follow you.
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ROMEO I will follow you.
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MERCUTIO Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
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MERCUTIO Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
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Exeunt MERCUTIO and BENVOLIO
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Exeunt MERCUTIO and BENVOLIO
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NURSE I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
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NURSE I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
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ROMEO |
ROMEO |
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NURSE An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates. (to PETER) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
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NURSE An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates. (to PETER) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
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PETER I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
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PETER I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
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NURSE Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
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NURSE Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
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ROMEO |
ROMEO |
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NURSE Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
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NURSE Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
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ROMEO What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
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ROMEO What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
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NURSE I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
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NURSE I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
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ROMEO Bid her devise
85 Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married. (gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
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ROMEO Bid her devise
Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married. (gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
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NURSE No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
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NURSE No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
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ROMEO Go to. I say you shall.
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ROMEO Go to. I say you shall.
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NURSE |
NURSE |
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ROMEO And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
95 Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
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ROMEO And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
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NURSE Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
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NURSE Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
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ROMEO What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
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ROMEO What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
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NURSE 100 Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
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NURSE Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
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ROMEO Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
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ROMEO Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
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NURSE Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
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NURSE Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
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ROMEO Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an R.
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ROMEO Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an R.
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NURSE |
NURSE |
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ROMEO Commend me to thy lady.
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ROMEO Commend me to thy lady.
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NURSE Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
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NURSE Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
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PETER Anon!
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PETER Anon!
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NURSE Before and apace.
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NURSE Before and apace.
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Exeunt
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Exeunt
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Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO
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Enter BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO
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MERCUTIO Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
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MERCUTIO Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
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BENVOLIO Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
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BENVOLIO Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
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MERCUTIO Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
5 Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
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MERCUTIO Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
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BENVOLIO Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
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BENVOLIO Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
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MERCUTIO A challenge, on my life.
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MERCUTIO A challenge, on my life.
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BENVOLIO Romeo will answer it.
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BENVOLIO Romeo will answer it.
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MERCUTIO 10 Any man that can write may answer a letter.
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MERCUTIO Any man that can write may answer a letter.
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BENVOLIO Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
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BENVOLIO Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
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MERCUTIO Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
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MERCUTIO Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO Why, what is Tybalt?
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BENVOLIO Why, what is Tybalt?
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MERCUTIO More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hai!
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MERCUTIO More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hai!
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BENVOLIO 15 The what?
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BENVOLIO The what?
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MERCUTIO The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
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MERCUTIO The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
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Enter ROMEO
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Enter ROMEO
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BENVOLIO Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
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BENVOLIO Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
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MERCUTIO Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
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MERCUTIO Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
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ROMEO Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
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ROMEO Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
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MERCUTIO 20 The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
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MERCUTIO The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
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ROMEO Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
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ROMEO Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
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MERCUTIO That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
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MERCUTIO That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
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ROMEO Meaning “to curtsy”?
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ROMEO Meaning “to curtsy”?
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MERCUTIO Thou hast most kindly hit it.
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MERCUTIO Thou hast most kindly hit it.
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ROMEO 25 A most courteous exposition.
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ROMEO A most courteous exposition.
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MERCUTIO Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
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MERCUTIO Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
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ROMEO Pink for flower.
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ROMEO Pink for flower.
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MERCUTIO Right.
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MERCUTIO Right.
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ROMEO Why, then is my pump well flowered.
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ROMEO Why, then is my pump well flowered.
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MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
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ROMEO O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
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ROMEO O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
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MERCUTIO Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
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MERCUTIO Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
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ROMEO Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
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ROMEO Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
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MERCUTIO Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
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MERCUTIO Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
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ROMEO |
ROMEO |
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MERCUTIO I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
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MERCUTIO I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
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ROMEO Nay, good goose, bite not.
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ROMEO Nay, good goose, bite not.
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MERCUTIO Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
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MERCUTIO Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
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ROMEO And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
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ROMEO And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
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MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
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ROMEO I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
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ROMEO I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
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MERCUTIO Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
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MERCUTIO Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
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BENVOLIO Stop there, stop there.
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BENVOLIO Stop there, stop there.
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MERCUTIO Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
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MERCUTIO Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
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BENVOLIO 45 Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
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BENVOLIO Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
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MERCUTIO Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
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MERCUTIO Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
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Enter NURSE and her man PETER
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Enter NURSE and her man PETER
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ROMEO Here’s goodly gear.
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ROMEO Here’s goodly gear.
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BENVOLIO A sail, a sail!
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BENVOLIO A sail, a sail!
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MERCUTIO Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
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MERCUTIO Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
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NURSE 50 Peter!
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NURSE Peter!
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PETER Anon!
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PETER Anon!
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NURSE My fan, Peter.
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NURSE My fan, Peter.
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MERCUTIO Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
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MERCUTIO Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
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NURSE God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
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NURSE God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
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MERCUTIO 55 God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
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MERCUTIO God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
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NURSE Is it good e'en?
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NURSE Is it good e'en?
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MERCUTIO 'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
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MERCUTIO 'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
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NURSE Out upon you! What a man are you?
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NURSE Out upon you! What a man are you?
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MERCUTIO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
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MERCUTIO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
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NURSE |
NURSE |
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ROMEO I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
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ROMEO I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
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NURSE You say well.
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NURSE You say well.
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MERCUTIO Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
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MERCUTIO Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
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NURSE If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
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NURSE If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
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BENVOLIO 65 She will indite him to some supper.
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BENVOLIO She will indite him to some supper.
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MERCUTIO A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
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MERCUTIO A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
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ROMEO What hast thou found?
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ROMEO What hast thou found?
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MERCUTIO No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
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MERCUTIO No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
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(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
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(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
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Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
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Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
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ROMEO I will follow you.
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ROMEO I will follow you.
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MERCUTIO Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
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MERCUTIO Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
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Exeunt MERCUTIO and BENVOLIO
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Exeunt MERCUTIO and BENVOLIO
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NURSE I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
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NURSE I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
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ROMEO |
ROMEO |
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NURSE An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates. (to PETER) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
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NURSE An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates. (to PETER) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
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PETER I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
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PETER I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
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NURSE Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
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NURSE Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
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ROMEO |
ROMEO |
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NURSE Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
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NURSE Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
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ROMEO What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
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ROMEO What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
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NURSE I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
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NURSE I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
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ROMEO Bid her devise
85 Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married. (gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
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ROMEO Bid her devise
Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married. (gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
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NURSE No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
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NURSE No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
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ROMEO Go to. I say you shall.
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ROMEO Go to. I say you shall.
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NURSE |
NURSE |
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ROMEO And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
95 Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
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ROMEO And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
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NURSE Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
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NURSE Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
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ROMEO What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
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ROMEO What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
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NURSE 100 Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
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NURSE Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
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ROMEO Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
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ROMEO Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
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NURSE Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
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NURSE Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
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ROMEO Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an R.
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ROMEO Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an R.
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NURSE |
NURSE |
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ROMEO Commend me to thy lady.
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ROMEO Commend me to thy lady.
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NURSE Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
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NURSE Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
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PETER Anon!
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PETER Anon!
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NURSE Before and apace.
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NURSE Before and apace.
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Exeunt
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Exeunt
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