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Enter COUNTESS, STEWARD, and FOOL.
Enter COUNTESS, STEWARD, and FOOL.
COUNTESS
I will now hear. What say you of this
gentlewoman?
COUNTESS
I will now hear. What say you of this
gentlewoman?
STEWARD
Madam, the care I have had to even your
content I wish might be found in the calendar of
5
my past endeavors, for then we wound our modesty
and make foul the clearness of our deservings
when of ourselves we publish them.
STEWARD
Madam, the care I have had to even your
content I wish might be found in the calendar of
my past endeavors, for then we wound our modesty
and make foul the clearness of our deservings
when of ourselves we publish them.
COUNTESS
What does this knave here? To FOOL. Get
you gone, sirrah. The complaints I have heard of
10
you I do not all believe. ’Tis my slowness that I do
not, for I know you lack not folly to commit them
and have ability enough to make such knaveries
yours.
COUNTESS
What does this knave here? To FOOL. Get
you gone, sirrah. The complaints I have heard of
you I do not all believe. ’Tis my slowness that I do
not, for I know you lack not folly to commit them
and have ability enough to make such knaveries
yours.
FOOL
’Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor
15
fellow.
FOOL
’Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor
fellow.
COUNTESS
Well, sir.
COUNTESS
Well, sir.
FOOL
No, madam, ’tis not so well that I am poor,
though many of the rich are damned. But if I may
have your Ladyship’s good will to go to the world,
20
Isbel the woman and I will do as we may.
FOOL
No, madam, ’tis not so well that I am poor,
though many of the rich are damned. But if I may
have your Ladyship’s good will to go to the world,
Isbel the woman and I will do as we may.
COUNTESS
Wilt thou needs be a beggar?
COUNTESS
Wilt thou needs be a beggar?
FOOL
I do beg your good will in this case.
FOOL
I do beg your good will in this case.
COUNTESS
In what case?
COUNTESS
In what case?
FOOL
In Isbel’s case and mine own. Service is no heritage,
25
and I think I shall never have the blessing of
God till I have issue o’ my body, for they say bairns
are blessings.
FOOL
In Isbel’s case and mine own. Service is no heritage,
and I think I shall never have the blessing of
God till I have issue o’ my body, for they say bairns
are blessings.
COUNTESS
Tell me thy reason why thou wilt marry.
COUNTESS
Tell me thy reason why thou wilt marry.
FOOL
My poor body, madam, requires it. I am driven
30
on by the flesh, and he must needs go that the devil
drives.
FOOL
My poor body, madam, requires it. I am driven
on by the flesh, and he must needs go that the devil
drives.
COUNTESS
Is this all your Worship’s reason?
COUNTESS
Is this all your Worship’s reason?
FOOL
Faith, madam, I have other holy reasons, such
as they are.
FOOL
Faith, madam, I have other holy reasons, such
as they are.
COUNTESS
35
May the world know them?
COUNTESS
May the world know them?
FOOL
I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you
and all flesh and blood are, and indeed I do marry
that I may repent.
FOOL
I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you
and all flesh and blood are, and indeed I do marry
that I may repent.
COUNTESS
Thy marriage sooner than thy wickedness.
COUNTESS
Thy marriage sooner than thy wickedness.
FOOL
40
I am out o’ friends, madam, and I hope to have
friends for my wife’s sake.
FOOL
I am out o’ friends, madam, and I hope to have
friends for my wife’s sake.
COUNTESS
Such friends are thine enemies, knave.
COUNTESS
Such friends are thine enemies, knave.
FOOL
You’re shallow, madam, in great friends, for the
knaves come to do that for me which I am aweary
45
of. He that ears my land spares my team and gives
me leave to in the crop; if I be his cuckold, he’s my
drudge. He that comforts my wife is the cherisher
of my flesh and blood; he that cherishes my flesh
and blood loves my flesh and blood; he that loves
50
my flesh and blood is my friend. Ergo, he that
kisses my wife is my friend. If men could be contented
to be what they are, there were no fear in
marriage, for young Charbon the Puritan and old
Poysam the Papist, howsome’er their hearts are
55
severed in religion, their heads are both one; they
may jowl horns together like any deer i’ th’ herd.
FOOL
You’re shallow, madam, in great friends, for the
knaves come to do that for me which I am aweary
of. He that ears my land spares my team and gives
me leave to in the crop; if I be his cuckold, he’s my
drudge. He that comforts my wife is the cherisher
of my flesh and blood; he that cherishes my flesh
and blood loves my flesh and blood; he that loves
my flesh and blood is my friend. Ergo, he that
kisses my wife is my friend. If men could be contented
to be what they are, there were no fear in
marriage, for young Charbon the Puritan and old
Poysam the Papist, howsome’er their hearts are
severed in religion, their heads are both one; they
may jowl horns together like any deer i’ th’ herd.
COUNTESS
Wilt thou ever be a foul-mouthed and
calumnious knave?
COUNTESS
Wilt thou ever be a foul-mouthed and
calumnious knave?
FOOL
A prophet I, madam, and I speak the truth the
60
next way:
Sings. For I the ballad will repeat
Which men full true shall find:
Your marriage comes by destiny;
Your cuckoo sings by kind.
FOOL
A prophet I, madam, and I speak the truth the
next way:
Sings. For I the ballad will repeat
Which men full true shall find:
Your marriage comes by destiny;
Your cuckoo sings by kind.
COUNTESS
65
Get you gone, sir. I’ll talk with you more
anon.
COUNTESS
Get you gone, sir. I’ll talk with you more
anon.
STEWARD
May it please you, madam, that he bid Helen
come to you. Of her I am to speak.
STEWARD
May it please you, madam, that he bid Helen
come to you. Of her I am to speak.
COUNTESS
Sirrah, tell my gentlewoman I would speak
70
with her—Helen, I mean.
COUNTESS
Sirrah, tell my gentlewoman I would speak
with her—Helen, I mean.
sings
sings
FOOL
“Was this fair face the cause,” quoth she,
“Why the Grecians sackèd Troy?
Fond done, done fond.
Was this King Priam’s joy?”
75
With that she sighèd as she stood,
With that she sighèd as she stood,
And gave this sentence then:
“Among nine bad if one be good,
Among nine bad if one be good,
80
There’s yet one good in ten.”
FOOL
“Was this fair face the cause,” quoth she,
“Why the Grecians sackèd Troy?
Fond done, done fond.
Was this King Priam’s joy?”
With that she sighèd as she stood,
With that she sighèd as she stood,
And gave this sentence then:
“Among nine bad if one be good,
Among nine bad if one be good,
There’s yet one good in ten.”
COUNTESS
What, one good in ten? You corrupt the
song, sirrah.
COUNTESS
What, one good in ten? You corrupt the
song, sirrah.
FOOL
One good woman in ten, madam, which is a
purifying o’ th’ song. Would God would serve the
85
world so all the year! We’d find no fault with the
tithe-woman if I were the parson. One in ten,
quoth he? An we might have a good woman born
but or every blazing star or at an earthquake,
’twould mend the lottery well. A man may draw his
90
heart out ere he pluck one.
FOOL
One good woman in ten, madam, which is a
purifying o’ th’ song. Would God would serve the
world so all the year! We’d find no fault with the
tithe-woman if I were the parson. One in ten,
quoth he? An we might have a good woman born
but or every blazing star or at an earthquake,
’twould mend the lottery well. A man may draw his
heart out ere he pluck one.
COUNTESS
You’ll be gone, sir knave, and do as I command
you!
COUNTESS
You’ll be gone, sir knave, and do as I command
you!
FOOL
That man should be at woman’s command, and
yet no hurt done! Though honesty be no Puritan,
95
yet it will do no hurt; it will wear the surplice of
humility over the black gown of a big heart. I am
going, forsooth. The business is for Helen to come
hither.
FOOL
That man should be at woman’s command, and
yet no hurt done! Though honesty be no Puritan,
yet it will do no hurt; it will wear the surplice of
humility over the black gown of a big heart. I am
going, forsooth. The business is for Helen to come
hither.
He exits.
He exits.
COUNTESS
Well, now.
COUNTESS
Well, now.
STEWARD
100
I know, madam, you love your gentlewoman
entirely.
STEWARD
I know, madam, you love your gentlewoman
entirely.
COUNTESS
Faith, I do. Her father bequeathed her to
me, and she herself, without other advantage, may
lawfully make title to as much love as she finds.
105
There is more owing her than is paid, and more
shall be paid her than she’ll demand.
COUNTESS
Faith, I do. Her father bequeathed her to
me, and she herself, without other advantage, may
lawfully make title to as much love as she finds.
There is more owing her than is paid, and more
shall be paid her than she’ll demand.
STEWARD
Madam, I was very late more near her than I
think she wished me. Alone she was and did communicate
to herself her own words to her own
110
ears; she thought, I dare vow for her, they touched
not any stranger sense. Her matter was she loved
your son. Fortune, she said, was no goddess, that
had put such difference betwixt their two estates;
Love no god, that would not extend his might only
115
where qualities were level; Dian no queen of virgins,
that would suffer her poor knight surprised
without rescue in the first assault or ransom afterward.
This she delivered in the most bitter touch
of sorrow that e’er I heard virgin exclaim in, which
120
I held my duty speedily to acquaint you withal,
sithence in the loss that may happen it concerns
you something to know it.
STEWARD
Madam, I was very late more near her than I
think she wished me. Alone she was and did communicate
to herself her own words to her own
ears; she thought, I dare vow for her, they touched
not any stranger sense. Her matter was she loved
your son. Fortune, she said, was no goddess, that
had put such difference betwixt their two estates;
Love no god, that would not extend his might only
where qualities were level; Dian no queen of virgins,
that would suffer her poor knight surprised
without rescue in the first assault or ransom afterward.
This she delivered in the most bitter touch
of sorrow that e’er I heard virgin exclaim in, which
I held my duty speedily to acquaint you withal,
sithence in the loss that may happen it concerns
you something to know it.
COUNTESS
You have discharged this honestly. Keep it
to yourself. Many likelihoods informed me of this
125
before, which hung so tott’ring in the balance that
I could neither believe nor misdoubt. Pray you
leave me. Stall this in your bosom, and I thank you
for your honest care. I will speak with you further
anon.
COUNTESS
You have discharged this honestly. Keep it
to yourself. Many likelihoods informed me of this
before, which hung so tott’ring in the balance that
I could neither believe nor misdoubt. Pray you
leave me. Stall this in your bosom, and I thank you
for your honest care. I will speak with you further
anon.
STEWARD exits.
Enter HELEN.
Aside.
STEWARD exits.
Enter HELEN.
Aside.
130
Even so it was with me when I was young.
  If ever we are nature’s, these are ours. This thorn
Doth to our rose of youth rightly belong.
  Our blood to us, this to our blood is born.
It is the show and seal of nature’s truth,
135
Where love’s strong passion is impressed in youth.
By our remembrances of days foregone,
Such were our faults, or then we thought them none.
Her eye is sick on ’t, I observe her now.
Even so it was with me when I was young.
  If ever we are nature’s, these are ours. This thorn
Doth to our rose of youth rightly belong.
  Our blood to us, this to our blood is born.
It is the show and seal of nature’s truth,
Where love’s strong passion is impressed in youth.
By our remembrances of days foregone,
Such were our faults, or then we thought them none.
Her eye is sick on ’t, I observe her now.
HELEN
What is your pleasure, madam?
HELEN
What is your pleasure, madam?
COUNTESS
140
You know, Helen, I am a mother to you.
COUNTESS
You know, Helen, I am a mother to you.
HELEN
Mine honorable mistress.
HELEN
Mine honorable mistress.
COUNTESS
Nay, a mother.
Why not a mother? When I said “a mother,”
Methought you saw a serpent. What’s in “mother”
145
That you start at it? I say I am your mother
And put you in the catalogue of those
That were enwombèd mine. ’Tis often seen
Adoption strives with nature, and choice breeds
A native slip to us from foreign seeds.
150
You ne’er oppressed me with a mother’s groan,
Yet I express to you a mother’s care.
God’s mercy, maiden, does it curd thy blood
To say I am thy mother? What’s the matter,
That this distempered messenger of wet,
155
The many-colored Iris, rounds thine eye?
Why? That you are my daughter?
COUNTESS
Nay, a mother.
Why not a mother? When I said “a mother,”
Methought you saw a serpent. What’s in “mother”
That you start at it? I say I am your mother
And put you in the catalogue of those
That were enwombèd mine. ’Tis often seen
Adoption strives with nature, and choice breeds
A native slip to us from foreign seeds.
You ne’er oppressed me with a mother’s groan,
Yet I express to you a mother’s care.
God’s mercy, maiden, does it curd thy blood
To say I am thy mother? What’s the matter,
That this distempered messenger of wet,
The many-colored Iris, rounds thine eye?
Why? That you are my daughter?
HELEN
That I am not.
HELEN
That I am not.
COUNTESS
I say I am your mother.
COUNTESS
I say I am your mother.
HELEN
Pardon, madam.
160
The Count Rossillion cannot be my brother.
I am from humble, he from honored name;
No note upon my parents, his all noble.
My master, my dear lord he is, and I
His servant live and will his vassal die.
165
He must not be my brother.
HELEN
Pardon, madam.
The Count Rossillion cannot be my brother.
I am from humble, he from honored name;
No note upon my parents, his all noble.
My master, my dear lord he is, and I
His servant live and will his vassal die.
He must not be my brother.
COUNTESS
Nor I your mother?
COUNTESS
Nor I your mother?
HELEN
You are my mother, madam. Would you were—
So that my lord your son were not my brother—
Indeed my mother! Or were you both our mothers,
170
I care no more for than I do for heaven,
So I were not his sister. Can’t no other
But, I your daughter, he must be my brother?
HELEN
You are my mother, madam. Would you were—
So that my lord your son were not my brother—
Indeed my mother! Or were you both our mothers,
I care no more for than I do for heaven,
So I were not his sister. Can’t no other
But, I your daughter, he must be my brother?
COUNTESS
Yes, Helen, you might be my daughter-in-law.
God shield you mean it not! “Daughter” and “mother”
175
So strive upon your pulse. What, pale again?
My fear hath catched your fondness! Now I see
The mystery of your loneliness and find
Your salt tears’ head. Now to all sense ’tis gross:
You love my son. Invention is ashamed
180
Against the proclamation of thy passion
To say thou dost not. Therefore tell me true,
But tell me then ’tis so, for, look, thy cheeks
Confess it th’ one to th’ other, and thine eyes
See it so grossly shown in thy behaviors
185
That in their kind they speak it. Only sin
And hellish obstinacy tie thy tongue
That truth should be suspected. Speak. Is ’t so?
If it be so, you have wound a goodly clew;
If it be not, forswear ’t; howe’er, I charge thee,
190
As heaven shall work in me for thine avail,
To tell me truly.
COUNTESS
Yes, Helen, you might be my daughter-in-law.
God shield you mean it not! “Daughter” and “mother”
So strive upon your pulse. What, pale again?
My fear hath catched your fondness! Now I see
The mystery of your loneliness and find
Your salt tears’ head. Now to all sense ’tis gross:
You love my son. Invention is ashamed
Against the proclamation of thy passion
To say thou dost not. Therefore tell me true,
But tell me then ’tis so, for, look, thy cheeks
Confess it th’ one to th’ other, and thine eyes
See it so grossly shown in thy behaviors
That in their kind they speak it. Only sin
And hellish obstinacy tie thy tongue
That truth should be suspected. Speak. Is ’t so?
If it be so, you have wound a goodly clew;
If it be not, forswear ’t; howe’er, I charge thee,
As heaven shall work in me for thine avail,
To tell me truly.
HELEN
Good madam, pardon me.
HELEN
Good madam, pardon me.
COUNTESS
Do you love my son?
COUNTESS
Do you love my son?
HELEN
Your pardon, noble mistress.
HELEN
Your pardon, noble mistress.
COUNTESS
195
Love you my son?
COUNTESS
Love you my son?
HELEN
Do not you love him, madam?
HELEN
Do not you love him, madam?
COUNTESS
Go not about. My love hath in ’t a bond
Whereof the world takes note. Come, come, disclose
The state of your affection, for your passions
200
Have to the full appeached.
COUNTESS
Go not about. My love hath in ’t a bond
Whereof the world takes note. Come, come, disclose
The state of your affection, for your passions
Have to the full appeached.
HELEN   kneeling
Then I confess
Here on my knee before high heaven and you
That before you and next unto high heaven
I love your son.
205
My friends were poor but honest; so ’s my love.
Be not offended, for it hurts not him
That he is loved of me. I follow him not
By any token of presumptuous suit,
Nor would I have him till I do deserve him,
210
Yet never know how that desert should be.
I know I love in vain, strive against hope,
Yet in this captious and intenible sieve
I still pour in the waters of my love
And lack not to lose still. Thus, Indian-like,
215
Religious in mine error, I adore
The sun that looks upon his worshipper
But knows of him no more. My dearest madam,
Let not your hate encounter with my love
For loving where you do; but if yourself,
220
Whose agèd honor cites a virtuous youth,
Did ever in so true a flame of liking
Wish chastely and love dearly, that your Dian
Was both herself and Love, O then give pity
To her whose state is such that cannot choose
225
But lend and give where she is sure to lose;
That seeks not to find that her search implies,
But riddle-like lives sweetly where she dies.
HELEN   kneeling
Then I confess
Here on my knee before high heaven and you
That before you and next unto high heaven
I love your son.
My friends were poor but honest; so ’s my love.
Be not offended, for it hurts not him
That he is loved of me. I follow him not
By any token of presumptuous suit,
Nor would I have him till I do deserve him,
Yet never know how that desert should be.
I know I love in vain, strive against hope,
Yet in this captious and intenible sieve
I still pour in the waters of my love
And lack not to lose still. Thus, Indian-like,
Religious in mine error, I adore
The sun that looks upon his worshipper
But knows of him no more. My dearest madam,
Let not your hate encounter with my love
For loving where you do; but if yourself,
Whose agèd honor cites a virtuous youth,
Did ever in so true a flame of liking
Wish chastely and love dearly, that your Dian
Was both herself and Love, O then give pity
To her whose state is such that cannot choose
But lend and give where she is sure to lose;
That seeks not to find that her search implies,
But riddle-like lives sweetly where she dies.
COUNTESS
Had you not lately an intent—speak truly—
To go to Paris?
COUNTESS
Had you not lately an intent—speak truly—
To go to Paris?
HELEN
230
Madam, I had.
HELEN
Madam, I had.
COUNTESS
Wherefore?
Tell true.
COUNTESS
Wherefore?
Tell true.
HELEN   standing
I will tell truth, by grace itself I swear.
You know my father left me some prescriptions
235
Of rare and proved effects, such as his reading
And manifest experience had collected
For general sovereignty; and that he willed me
In heedfull’st reservation to bestow them
As notes whose faculties inclusive were
240
More than they were in note. Amongst the rest
There is a remedy, approved, set down,
To cure the desperate languishings whereof
The King is rendered lost.
HELEN   standing
I will tell truth, by grace itself I swear.
You know my father left me some prescriptions
Of rare and proved effects, such as his reading
And manifest experience had collected
For general sovereignty; and that he willed me
In heedfull’st reservation to bestow them
As notes whose faculties inclusive were
More than they were in note. Amongst the rest
There is a remedy, approved, set down,
To cure the desperate languishings whereof
The King is rendered lost.
COUNTESS
This was your motive for Paris, was it? Speak.
COUNTESS
This was your motive for Paris, was it? Speak.
HELEN
245
My lord your son made me to think of this;
Else Paris, and the medicine, and the King
Had from the conversation of my thoughts
Haply been absent then.
HELEN
My lord your son made me to think of this;
Else Paris, and the medicine, and the King
Had from the conversation of my thoughts
Haply been absent then.
COUNTESS
But think you, Helen,
250
If you should tender your supposèd aid,
He would receive it? He and his physicians
Are of a mind: he that they cannot help him,
They that they cannot help. How shall they credit
A poor unlearnèd virgin, when the schools
255
Emboweled of their doctrine have left off
The danger to itself?
COUNTESS
But think you, Helen,
If you should tender your supposèd aid,
He would receive it? He and his physicians
Are of a mind: he that they cannot help him,
They that they cannot help. How shall they credit
A poor unlearnèd virgin, when the schools
Emboweled of their doctrine have left off
The danger to itself?
HELEN
There’s something in ’t
More than my father’s skill, which was the great’st
Of his profession, that his good receipt
260
Shall for my legacy be sanctified
By th’ luckiest stars in heaven; and would your
Honor
But give me leave to try success, I’d venture
The well-lost life of mine on his Grace’s cure
265
By such a day, an hour.
HELEN
There’s something in ’t
More than my father’s skill, which was the great’st
Of his profession, that his good receipt
Shall for my legacy be sanctified
By th’ luckiest stars in heaven; and would your
Honor
But give me leave to try success, I’d venture
The well-lost life of mine on his Grace’s cure
By such a day, an hour.
COUNTESS
Dost thou believe ’t?
COUNTESS
Dost thou believe ’t?
HELEN
Ay, madam, knowingly.
HELEN
Ay, madam, knowingly.
COUNTESS
Why, Helen, thou shalt have my leave and love,
Means and attendants, and my loving greetings
270
To those of mine in court. I’ll stay at home
And pray God’s blessing into thy attempt.
Be gone tomorrow, and be sure of this:
What I can help thee to thou shalt not miss.
COUNTESS
Why, Helen, thou shalt have my leave and love,
Means and attendants, and my loving greetings
To those of mine in court. I’ll stay at home
And pray God’s blessing into thy attempt.
Be gone tomorrow, and be sure of this:
What I can help thee to thou shalt not miss.
They exit.
They exit.

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter COUNTESS, STEWARD, and FOOL.
Enter COUNTESS, STEWARD, and FOOL.
COUNTESS
I will now hear. What say you of this
gentlewoman?
COUNTESS
I will now hear. What say you of this
gentlewoman?
STEWARD
Madam, the care I have had to even your
content I wish might be found in the calendar of
5
my past endeavors, for then we wound our modesty
and make foul the clearness of our deservings
when of ourselves we publish them.
STEWARD
Madam, the care I have had to even your
content I wish might be found in the calendar of
my past endeavors, for then we wound our modesty
and make foul the clearness of our deservings
when of ourselves we publish them.
COUNTESS
What does this knave here? To FOOL. Get
you gone, sirrah. The complaints I have heard of
10
you I do not all believe. ’Tis my slowness that I do
not, for I know you lack not folly to commit them
and have ability enough to make such knaveries
yours.
COUNTESS
What does this knave here? To FOOL. Get
you gone, sirrah. The complaints I have heard of
you I do not all believe. ’Tis my slowness that I do
not, for I know you lack not folly to commit them
and have ability enough to make such knaveries
yours.
FOOL
’Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor
15
fellow.
FOOL
’Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor
fellow.
COUNTESS
Well, sir.
COUNTESS
Well, sir.
FOOL
No, madam, ’tis not so well that I am poor,
though many of the rich are damned. But if I may
have your Ladyship’s good will to go to the world,
20
Isbel the woman and I will do as we may.
FOOL
No, madam, ’tis not so well that I am poor,
though many of the rich are damned. But if I may
have your Ladyship’s good will to go to the world,
Isbel the woman and I will do as we may.
COUNTESS
Wilt thou needs be a beggar?
COUNTESS
Wilt thou needs be a beggar?
FOOL
I do beg your good will in this case.
FOOL
I do beg your good will in this case.
COUNTESS
In what case?
COUNTESS
In what case?
FOOL
In Isbel’s case and mine own. Service is no heritage,
25
and I think I shall never have the blessing of
God till I have issue o’ my body, for they say bairns
are blessings.
FOOL
In Isbel’s case and mine own. Service is no heritage,
and I think I shall never have the blessing of
God till I have issue o’ my body, for they say bairns
are blessings.
COUNTESS
Tell me thy reason why thou wilt marry.
COUNTESS
Tell me thy reason why thou wilt marry.
FOOL
My poor body, madam, requires it. I am driven
30
on by the flesh, and he must needs go that the devil
drives.
FOOL
My poor body, madam, requires it. I am driven
on by the flesh, and he must needs go that the devil
drives.
COUNTESS
Is this all your Worship’s reason?
COUNTESS
Is this all your Worship’s reason?
FOOL
Faith, madam, I have other holy reasons, such
as they are.
FOOL
Faith, madam, I have other holy reasons, such
as they are.
COUNTESS
35
May the world know them?
COUNTESS
May the world know them?
FOOL
I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you
and all flesh and blood are, and indeed I do marry
that I may repent.
FOOL
I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you
and all flesh and blood are, and indeed I do marry
that I may repent.
COUNTESS
Thy marriage sooner than thy wickedness.
COUNTESS
Thy marriage sooner than thy wickedness.
FOOL
40
I am out o’ friends, madam, and I hope to have
friends for my wife’s sake.
FOOL
I am out o’ friends, madam, and I hope to have
friends for my wife’s sake.
COUNTESS
Such friends are thine enemies, knave.
COUNTESS
Such friends are thine enemies, knave.
FOOL
You’re shallow, madam, in great friends, for the
knaves come to do that for me which I am aweary
45
of. He that ears my land spares my team and gives
me leave to in the crop; if I be his cuckold, he’s my
drudge. He that comforts my wife is the cherisher
of my flesh and blood; he that cherishes my flesh
and blood loves my flesh and blood; he that loves
50
my flesh and blood is my friend. Ergo, he that
kisses my wife is my friend. If men could be contented
to be what they are, there were no fear in
marriage, for young Charbon the Puritan and old
Poysam the Papist, howsome’er their hearts are
55
severed in religion, their heads are both one; they
may jowl horns together like any deer i’ th’ herd.
FOOL
You’re shallow, madam, in great friends, for the
knaves come to do that for me which I am aweary
of. He that ears my land spares my team and gives
me leave to in the crop; if I be his cuckold, he’s my
drudge. He that comforts my wife is the cherisher
of my flesh and blood; he that cherishes my flesh
and blood loves my flesh and blood; he that loves
my flesh and blood is my friend. Ergo, he that
kisses my wife is my friend. If men could be contented
to be what they are, there were no fear in
marriage, for young Charbon the Puritan and old
Poysam the Papist, howsome’er their hearts are
severed in religion, their heads are both one; they
may jowl horns together like any deer i’ th’ herd.
COUNTESS
Wilt thou ever be a foul-mouthed and
calumnious knave?
COUNTESS
Wilt thou ever be a foul-mouthed and
calumnious knave?
FOOL
A prophet I, madam, and I speak the truth the
60
next way:
Sings. For I the ballad will repeat
Which men full true shall find:
Your marriage comes by destiny;
Your cuckoo sings by kind.
FOOL
A prophet I, madam, and I speak the truth the
next way:
Sings. For I the ballad will repeat
Which men full true shall find:
Your marriage comes by destiny;
Your cuckoo sings by kind.
COUNTESS
65
Get you gone, sir. I’ll talk with you more
anon.
COUNTESS
Get you gone, sir. I’ll talk with you more
anon.
STEWARD
May it please you, madam, that he bid Helen
come to you. Of her I am to speak.
STEWARD
May it please you, madam, that he bid Helen
come to you. Of her I am to speak.
COUNTESS
Sirrah, tell my gentlewoman I would speak
70
with her—Helen, I mean.
COUNTESS
Sirrah, tell my gentlewoman I would speak
with her—Helen, I mean.
sings
sings
FOOL
“Was this fair face the cause,” quoth she,
“Why the Grecians sackèd Troy?
Fond done, done fond.
Was this King Priam’s joy?”
75
With that she sighèd as she stood,
With that she sighèd as she stood,
And gave this sentence then:
“Among nine bad if one be good,
Among nine bad if one be good,
80
There’s yet one good in ten.”
FOOL
“Was this fair face the cause,” quoth she,
“Why the Grecians sackèd Troy?
Fond done, done fond.
Was this King Priam’s joy?”
With that she sighèd as she stood,
With that she sighèd as she stood,
And gave this sentence then:
“Among nine bad if one be good,
Among nine bad if one be good,
There’s yet one good in ten.”
COUNTESS
What, one good in ten? You corrupt the
song, sirrah.
COUNTESS
What, one good in ten? You corrupt the
song, sirrah.
FOOL
One good woman in ten, madam, which is a
purifying o’ th’ song. Would God would serve the
85
world so all the year! We’d find no fault with the
tithe-woman if I were the parson. One in ten,
quoth he? An we might have a good woman born
but or every blazing star or at an earthquake,
’twould mend the lottery well. A man may draw his
90
heart out ere he pluck one.
FOOL
One good woman in ten, madam, which is a
purifying o’ th’ song. Would God would serve the
world so all the year! We’d find no fault with the
tithe-woman if I were the parson. One in ten,
quoth he? An we might have a good woman born
but or every blazing star or at an earthquake,
’twould mend the lottery well. A man may draw his
heart out ere he pluck one.
COUNTESS
You’ll be gone, sir knave, and do as I command
you!
COUNTESS
You’ll be gone, sir knave, and do as I command
you!
FOOL
That man should be at woman’s command, and
yet no hurt done! Though honesty be no Puritan,
95
yet it will do no hurt; it will wear the surplice of
humility over the black gown of a big heart. I am
going, forsooth. The business is for Helen to come
hither.
FOOL
That man should be at woman’s command, and
yet no hurt done! Though honesty be no Puritan,
yet it will do no hurt; it will wear the surplice of
humility over the black gown of a big heart. I am
going, forsooth. The business is for Helen to come
hither.
He exits.
He exits.
COUNTESS
Well, now.
COUNTESS
Well, now.
STEWARD
100
I know, madam, you love your gentlewoman
entirely.
STEWARD
I know, madam, you love your gentlewoman
entirely.
COUNTESS
Faith, I do. Her father bequeathed her to
me, and she herself, without other advantage, may
lawfully make title to as much love as she finds.
105
There is more owing her than is paid, and more
shall be paid her than she’ll demand.
COUNTESS
Faith, I do. Her father bequeathed her to
me, and she herself, without other advantage, may
lawfully make title to as much love as she finds.
There is more owing her than is paid, and more
shall be paid her than she’ll demand.
STEWARD
Madam, I was very late more near her than I
think she wished me. Alone she was and did communicate
to herself her own words to her own
110
ears; she thought, I dare vow for her, they touched
not any stranger sense. Her matter was she loved
your son. Fortune, she said, was no goddess, that
had put such difference betwixt their two estates;
Love no god, that would not extend his might only
115
where qualities were level; Dian no queen of virgins,
that would suffer her poor knight surprised
without rescue in the first assault or ransom afterward.
This she delivered in the most bitter touch
of sorrow that e’er I heard virgin exclaim in, which
120
I held my duty speedily to acquaint you withal,
sithence in the loss that may happen it concerns
you something to know it.
STEWARD
Madam, I was very late more near her than I
think she wished me. Alone she was and did communicate
to herself her own words to her own
ears; she thought, I dare vow for her, they touched
not any stranger sense. Her matter was she loved
your son. Fortune, she said, was no goddess, that
had put such difference betwixt their two estates;
Love no god, that would not extend his might only
where qualities were level; Dian no queen of virgins,
that would suffer her poor knight surprised
without rescue in the first assault or ransom afterward.
This she delivered in the most bitter touch
of sorrow that e’er I heard virgin exclaim in, which
I held my duty speedily to acquaint you withal,
sithence in the loss that may happen it concerns
you something to know it.
COUNTESS
You have discharged this honestly. Keep it
to yourself. Many likelihoods informed me of this
125
before, which hung so tott’ring in the balance that
I could neither believe nor misdoubt. Pray you
leave me. Stall this in your bosom, and I thank you
for your honest care. I will speak with you further
anon.
COUNTESS
You have discharged this honestly. Keep it
to yourself. Many likelihoods informed me of this
before, which hung so tott’ring in the balance that
I could neither believe nor misdoubt. Pray you
leave me. Stall this in your bosom, and I thank you
for your honest care. I will speak with you further
anon.
STEWARD exits.
Enter HELEN.
Aside.
STEWARD exits.
Enter HELEN.
Aside.
130
Even so it was with me when I was young.
  If ever we are nature’s, these are ours. This thorn
Doth to our rose of youth rightly belong.
  Our blood to us, this to our blood is born.
It is the show and seal of nature’s truth,
135
Where love’s strong passion is impressed in youth.
By our remembrances of days foregone,
Such were our faults, or then we thought them none.
Her eye is sick on ’t, I observe her now.
Even so it was with me when I was young.
  If ever we are nature’s, these are ours. This thorn
Doth to our rose of youth rightly belong.
  Our blood to us, this to our blood is born.
It is the show and seal of nature’s truth,
Where love’s strong passion is impressed in youth.
By our remembrances of days foregone,
Such were our faults, or then we thought them none.
Her eye is sick on ’t, I observe her now.
HELEN
What is your pleasure, madam?
HELEN
What is your pleasure, madam?
COUNTESS
140
You know, Helen, I am a mother to you.
COUNTESS
You know, Helen, I am a mother to you.
HELEN
Mine honorable mistress.
HELEN
Mine honorable mistress.
COUNTESS
Nay, a mother.
Why not a mother? When I said “a mother,”
Methought you saw a serpent. What’s in “mother”
145
That you start at it? I say I am your mother
And put you in the catalogue of those
That were enwombèd mine. ’Tis often seen
Adoption strives with nature, and choice breeds
A native slip to us from foreign seeds.
150
You ne’er oppressed me with a mother’s groan,
Yet I express to you a mother’s care.
God’s mercy, maiden, does it curd thy blood
To say I am thy mother? What’s the matter,
That this distempered messenger of wet,
155
The many-colored Iris, rounds thine eye?
Why? That you are my daughter?
COUNTESS
Nay, a mother.
Why not a mother? When I said “a mother,”
Methought you saw a serpent. What’s in “mother”
That you start at it? I say I am your mother
And put you in the catalogue of those
That were enwombèd mine. ’Tis often seen
Adoption strives with nature, and choice breeds
A native slip to us from foreign seeds.
You ne’er oppressed me with a mother’s groan,
Yet I express to you a mother’s care.
God’s mercy, maiden, does it curd thy blood
To say I am thy mother? What’s the matter,
That this distempered messenger of wet,
The many-colored Iris, rounds thine eye?
Why? That you are my daughter?
HELEN
That I am not.
HELEN
That I am not.
COUNTESS
I say I am your mother.
COUNTESS
I say I am your mother.
HELEN
Pardon, madam.
160
The Count Rossillion cannot be my brother.
I am from humble, he from honored name;
No note upon my parents, his all noble.
My master, my dear lord he is, and I
His servant live and will his vassal die.
165
He must not be my brother.
HELEN
Pardon, madam.
The Count Rossillion cannot be my brother.
I am from humble, he from honored name;
No note upon my parents, his all noble.
My master, my dear lord he is, and I
His servant live and will his vassal die.
He must not be my brother.
COUNTESS
Nor I your mother?
COUNTESS
Nor I your mother?
HELEN
You are my mother, madam. Would you were—
So that my lord your son were not my brother—
Indeed my mother! Or were you both our mothers,
170
I care no more for than I do for heaven,
So I were not his sister. Can’t no other
But, I your daughter, he must be my brother?
HELEN
You are my mother, madam. Would you were—
So that my lord your son were not my brother—
Indeed my mother! Or were you both our mothers,
I care no more for than I do for heaven,
So I were not his sister. Can’t no other
But, I your daughter, he must be my brother?
COUNTESS
Yes, Helen, you might be my daughter-in-law.
God shield you mean it not! “Daughter” and “mother”
175
So strive upon your pulse. What, pale again?
My fear hath catched your fondness! Now I see
The mystery of your loneliness and find
Your salt tears’ head. Now to all sense ’tis gross:
You love my son. Invention is ashamed
180
Against the proclamation of thy passion
To say thou dost not. Therefore tell me true,
But tell me then ’tis so, for, look, thy cheeks
Confess it th’ one to th’ other, and thine eyes
See it so grossly shown in thy behaviors
185
That in their kind they speak it. Only sin
And hellish obstinacy tie thy tongue
That truth should be suspected. Speak. Is ’t so?
If it be so, you have wound a goodly clew;
If it be not, forswear ’t; howe’er, I charge thee,
190
As heaven shall work in me for thine avail,
To tell me truly.
COUNTESS
Yes, Helen, you might be my daughter-in-law.
God shield you mean it not! “Daughter” and “mother”
So strive upon your pulse. What, pale again?
My fear hath catched your fondness! Now I see
The mystery of your loneliness and find
Your salt tears’ head. Now to all sense ’tis gross:
You love my son. Invention is ashamed
Against the proclamation of thy passion
To say thou dost not. Therefore tell me true,
But tell me then ’tis so, for, look, thy cheeks
Confess it th’ one to th’ other, and thine eyes
See it so grossly shown in thy behaviors
That in their kind they speak it. Only sin
And hellish obstinacy tie thy tongue
That truth should be suspected. Speak. Is ’t so?
If it be so, you have wound a goodly clew;
If it be not, forswear ’t; howe’er, I charge thee,
As heaven shall work in me for thine avail,
To tell me truly.
HELEN
Good madam, pardon me.
HELEN
Good madam, pardon me.
COUNTESS
Do you love my son?
COUNTESS
Do you love my son?
HELEN
Your pardon, noble mistress.
HELEN
Your pardon, noble mistress.
COUNTESS
195
Love you my son?
COUNTESS
Love you my son?
HELEN
Do not you love him, madam?
HELEN
Do not you love him, madam?
COUNTESS
Go not about. My love hath in ’t a bond
Whereof the world takes note. Come, come, disclose
The state of your affection, for your passions
200
Have to the full appeached.
COUNTESS
Go not about. My love hath in ’t a bond
Whereof the world takes note. Come, come, disclose
The state of your affection, for your passions
Have to the full appeached.
HELEN   kneeling
Then I confess
Here on my knee before high heaven and you
That before you and next unto high heaven
I love your son.
205
My friends were poor but honest; so ’s my love.
Be not offended, for it hurts not him
That he is loved of me. I follow him not
By any token of presumptuous suit,
Nor would I have him till I do deserve him,
210
Yet never know how that desert should be.
I know I love in vain, strive against hope,
Yet in this captious and intenible sieve
I still pour in the waters of my love
And lack not to lose still. Thus, Indian-like,
215
Religious in mine error, I adore
The sun that looks upon his worshipper
But knows of him no more. My dearest madam,
Let not your hate encounter with my love
For loving where you do; but if yourself,
220
Whose agèd honor cites a virtuous youth,
Did ever in so true a flame of liking
Wish chastely and love dearly, that your Dian
Was both herself and Love, O then give pity
To her whose state is such that cannot choose
225
But lend and give where she is sure to lose;
That seeks not to find that her search implies,
But riddle-like lives sweetly where she dies.
HELEN   kneeling
Then I confess
Here on my knee before high heaven and you
That before you and next unto high heaven
I love your son.
My friends were poor but honest; so ’s my love.
Be not offended, for it hurts not him
That he is loved of me. I follow him not
By any token of presumptuous suit,
Nor would I have him till I do deserve him,
Yet never know how that desert should be.
I know I love in vain, strive against hope,
Yet in this captious and intenible sieve
I still pour in the waters of my love
And lack not to lose still. Thus, Indian-like,
Religious in mine error, I adore
The sun that looks upon his worshipper
But knows of him no more. My dearest madam,
Let not your hate encounter with my love
For loving where you do; but if yourself,
Whose agèd honor cites a virtuous youth,
Did ever in so true a flame of liking
Wish chastely and love dearly, that your Dian
Was both herself and Love, O then give pity
To her whose state is such that cannot choose
But lend and give where she is sure to lose;
That seeks not to find that her search implies,
But riddle-like lives sweetly where she dies.
COUNTESS
Had you not lately an intent—speak truly—
To go to Paris?
COUNTESS
Had you not lately an intent—speak truly—
To go to Paris?
HELEN
230
Madam, I had.
HELEN
Madam, I had.
COUNTESS
Wherefore?
Tell true.
COUNTESS
Wherefore?
Tell true.
HELEN   standing
I will tell truth, by grace itself I swear.
You know my father left me some prescriptions
235
Of rare and proved effects, such as his reading
And manifest experience had collected
For general sovereignty; and that he willed me
In heedfull’st reservation to bestow them
As notes whose faculties inclusive were
240
More than they were in note. Amongst the rest
There is a remedy, approved, set down,
To cure the desperate languishings whereof
The King is rendered lost.
HELEN   standing
I will tell truth, by grace itself I swear.
You know my father left me some prescriptions
Of rare and proved effects, such as his reading
And manifest experience had collected
For general sovereignty; and that he willed me
In heedfull’st reservation to bestow them
As notes whose faculties inclusive were
More than they were in note. Amongst the rest
There is a remedy, approved, set down,
To cure the desperate languishings whereof
The King is rendered lost.
COUNTESS
This was your motive for Paris, was it? Speak.
COUNTESS
This was your motive for Paris, was it? Speak.
HELEN
245
My lord your son made me to think of this;
Else Paris, and the medicine, and the King
Had from the conversation of my thoughts
Haply been absent then.
HELEN
My lord your son made me to think of this;
Else Paris, and the medicine, and the King
Had from the conversation of my thoughts
Haply been absent then.
COUNTESS
But think you, Helen,
250
If you should tender your supposèd aid,
He would receive it? He and his physicians
Are of a mind: he that they cannot help him,
They that they cannot help. How shall they credit
A poor unlearnèd virgin, when the schools
255
Emboweled of their doctrine have left off
The danger to itself?
COUNTESS
But think you, Helen,
If you should tender your supposèd aid,
He would receive it? He and his physicians
Are of a mind: he that they cannot help him,
They that they cannot help. How shall they credit
A poor unlearnèd virgin, when the schools
Emboweled of their doctrine have left off
The danger to itself?
HELEN
There’s something in ’t
More than my father’s skill, which was the great’st
Of his profession, that his good receipt
260
Shall for my legacy be sanctified
By th’ luckiest stars in heaven; and would your
Honor
But give me leave to try success, I’d venture
The well-lost life of mine on his Grace’s cure
265
By such a day, an hour.
HELEN
There’s something in ’t
More than my father’s skill, which was the great’st
Of his profession, that his good receipt
Shall for my legacy be sanctified
By th’ luckiest stars in heaven; and would your
Honor
But give me leave to try success, I’d venture
The well-lost life of mine on his Grace’s cure
By such a day, an hour.
COUNTESS
Dost thou believe ’t?
COUNTESS
Dost thou believe ’t?
HELEN
Ay, madam, knowingly.
HELEN
Ay, madam, knowingly.
COUNTESS
Why, Helen, thou shalt have my leave and love,
Means and attendants, and my loving greetings
270
To those of mine in court. I’ll stay at home
And pray God’s blessing into thy attempt.
Be gone tomorrow, and be sure of this:
What I can help thee to thou shalt not miss.
COUNTESS
Why, Helen, thou shalt have my leave and love,
Means and attendants, and my loving greetings
To those of mine in court. I’ll stay at home
And pray God’s blessing into thy attempt.
Be gone tomorrow, and be sure of this:
What I can help thee to thou shalt not miss.
They exit.
They exit.
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