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Enter the two French LORDS and some two
or three SOLDIERS.
Enter the two French LORDS and some two
or three SOLDIERS.
FIRST LORD
You have not given him his mother’s letter?
FIRST LORD
You have not given him his mother’s letter?
SECOND LORD  
I have delivered it an hour since. There
is something in ’t that stings his nature, for on the
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reading it he changed almost into another man.
SECOND LORD  
I have delivered it an hour since. There
is something in ’t that stings his nature, for on the
reading it he changed almost into another man.
FIRST LORD  
He has much worthy blame laid upon him
for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.
FIRST LORD  
He has much worthy blame laid upon him
for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.
SECOND LORD
Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
displeasure of the King, who had even tuned
10
his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you
a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.
SECOND LORD
Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
displeasure of the King, who had even tuned
his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you
a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.
FIRST LORD  
When you have spoken it, ’tis dead, and I
am the grave of it.
FIRST LORD  
When you have spoken it, ’tis dead, and I
am the grave of it.
SECOND LORD  
He hath perverted a young gentlewoman
15
here in Florence of a most chaste renown,
and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her
honor. He hath given her his monumental ring and
thinks himself made in the unchaste composition.
SECOND LORD  
He hath perverted a young gentlewoman
here in Florence of a most chaste renown,
and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her
honor. He hath given her his monumental ring and
thinks himself made in the unchaste composition.
FIRST LORD  
Now God delay our rebellion! As we are
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ourselves, what things are we!
FIRST LORD  
Now God delay our rebellion! As we are
ourselves, what things are we!
SECOND LORD  
Merely our own traitors. And, as in the
common course of all treasons we still see them
reveal themselves till they attain to their abhorred
ends, so he that in this action contrives against his
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own nobility, in his proper stream o’erflows
himself.
SECOND LORD  
Merely our own traitors. And, as in the
common course of all treasons we still see them
reveal themselves till they attain to their abhorred
ends, so he that in this action contrives against his
own nobility, in his proper stream o’erflows
himself.
FIRST LORD  
Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters
of our unlawful intents? We shall not, then,
have his company tonight?
FIRST LORD  
Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters
of our unlawful intents? We shall not, then,
have his company tonight?
SECOND LORD 
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Not till after midnight, for he is dieted to
his hour.
SECOND LORD 
Not till after midnight, for he is dieted to
his hour.
FIRST LORD  
That approaches apace. I would gladly
have him see his company anatomized, that he
might take a measure of his own judgments
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wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit.
FIRST LORD  
That approaches apace. I would gladly
have him see his company anatomized, that he
might take a measure of his own judgments
wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit.
SECOND LORD  
We will not meddle with him till he
come, for his presence must be the whip of the
other.
SECOND LORD  
We will not meddle with him till he
come, for his presence must be the whip of the
other.
FIRST LORD  
In the meantime, what hear you of these
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wars?
FIRST LORD  
In the meantime, what hear you of these
wars?
SECOND LORD  
I hear there is an overture of peace.
SECOND LORD  
I hear there is an overture of peace.
FIRST LORD  
Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
FIRST LORD  
Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
SECOND LORD  
What will Count Rossillion do then?
Will he travel higher or return again into France?
SECOND LORD  
What will Count Rossillion do then?
Will he travel higher or return again into France?
FIRST LORD  
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I perceive by this demand you are not altogether
of his counsel.
FIRST LORD  
I perceive by this demand you are not altogether
of his counsel.
SECOND LORD  
Let it be forbid, sir! So should I be a
great deal of his act.
SECOND LORD  
Let it be forbid, sir! So should I be a
great deal of his act.
FIRST LORD  
Sir, his wife some two months since fled
50
from his house. Her pretense is a pilgrimage to
Saint Jaques le Grand, which holy undertaking
with most austere sanctimony she accomplished.
And, there residing, the tenderness of her nature
became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan
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of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.
FIRST LORD  
Sir, his wife some two months since fled
from his house. Her pretense is a pilgrimage to
Saint Jaques le Grand, which holy undertaking
with most austere sanctimony she accomplished.
And, there residing, the tenderness of her nature
became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan
of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.
SECOND LORD  
How is this justified?
SECOND LORD  
How is this justified?
FIRST LORD  
The stronger part of it by her own letters,
which makes her story true even to the point of her
death. Her death itself, which could not be her
office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by
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the rector of the place.
FIRST LORD  
The stronger part of it by her own letters,
which makes her story true even to the point of her
death. Her death itself, which could not be her
office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by
the rector of the place.
SECOND LORD  
Hath the Count all this intelligence?
SECOND LORD  
Hath the Count all this intelligence?
FIRST LORD  
Ay, and the particular confirmations, point
from point, to the full arming of the verity.
FIRST LORD  
Ay, and the particular confirmations, point
from point, to the full arming of the verity.
SECOND LORD  
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I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of this.
SECOND LORD  
I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of this.
FIRST LORD  
How mightily sometimes we make us
comforts of our losses.
FIRST LORD  
How mightily sometimes we make us
comforts of our losses.
SECOND LORD  
And how mightily some other times we
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drown our gain in tears. The great dignity that his
valor hath here acquired for him shall at home be
encountered with a shame as ample.
SECOND LORD  
And how mightily some other times we
drown our gain in tears. The great dignity that his
valor hath here acquired for him shall at home be
encountered with a shame as ample.
FIRST LORD  
The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,
good and ill together. Our virtues would be proud
75i
f our faults whipped them not, and our crimes
would despair if they were not cherished by our
virtues.
Enter a SERVANT.
How now? Where’s your master?
FIRST LORD  
The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,
good and ill together. Our virtues would be proud
75i
f our faults whipped them not, and our crimes
would despair if they were not cherished by our
virtues.
Enter a SERVANT.
How now? Where’s your master?
SERVANT  
He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom
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he hath taken a solemn leave. His Lordship will
next morning for France. The Duke hath offered
him letters of commendations to the King.
SERVANT  
He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom
he hath taken a solemn leave. His Lordship will
next morning for France. The Duke hath offered
him letters of commendations to the King.
SECOND LORD
They shall be no more than needful
there, if they were more than they can commend.
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They cannot be too sweet for the King’s tartness.
 
Enter BERTRAM COUNT ROSSILLION.
 
Here’s his Lordship now.—How now, my lord? Is ’t
not after midnight?
SECOND LORD
They shall be no more than needful
there, if they were more than they can commend.
They cannot be too sweet for the King’s tartness.
 
Enter BERTRAM COUNT ROSSILLION.
 
Here’s his Lordship now.—How now, my lord? Is ’t
not after midnight?
BERTRAM  
I have tonight dispatched sixteen businesses,
a month’s length apiece. By an abstract of
90
success: I have congeed with the Duke, done my
adieu with his nearest, buried a wife, mourned for
her, writ to my lady mother I am returning, entertained
my convoy, and between these main parcels
of dispatch effected many nicer needs. The last
95
was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.
BERTRAM  
I have tonight dispatched sixteen businesses,
a month’s length apiece. By an abstract of
success: I have congeed with the Duke, done my
adieu with his nearest, buried a wife, mourned for
her, writ to my lady mother I am returning, entertained
my convoy, and between these main parcels
of dispatch effected many nicer needs. The last
was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.
SECOND LORD  
If the business be of any difficulty, and
this morning your departure hence, it requires
haste of your Lordship.
SECOND LORD  
If the business be of any difficulty, and
this morning your departure hence, it requires
haste of your Lordship.
BERTRAM  
I mean the business is not ended as fearing
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to hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the Fool and the Soldier? Come,
bring forth this counterfeit module; has deceived
me like a double-meaning prophesier.
BERTRAM  
I mean the business is not ended as fearing
to hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the Fool and the Soldier? Come,
bring forth this counterfeit module; has deceived
me like a double-meaning prophesier.
SECOND LORD
Bring him forth. Has sat i’ th’ stocks
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all night, poor gallant knave.
SECOND LORD
Bring him forth. Has sat i’ th’ stocks
all night, poor gallant knave.
SOLDIERS exit.
SOLDIERS exit.
BERTRAM  
No matter. His heels have deserved it in
usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry
Himself?
BERTRAM  
No matter. His heels have deserved it in
usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry
Himself?
SECOND LORD
I have told your Lordship already: the
110
stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would
be understood: he weeps like a wench that had
shed her milk. He hath confessed himself to Morgan,
whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time
of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of
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his setting i’ th’ stocks. And what think you he hath
confessed?
SECOND LORD
I have told your Lordship already: the
stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would
be understood: he weeps like a wench that had
shed her milk. He hath confessed himself to Morgan,
whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time
of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of
his setting i’ th’ stocks. And what think you he hath
confessed?
BERTRAM  
Nothing of me, has he?
BERTRAM  
Nothing of me, has he?
SECOND LORD  
His confession is taken, and it shall be
read to his face. If your Lordship be in ’t, as I
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believe you are, you must have the patience to
hear it.
SECOND LORD  
His confession is taken, and it shall be
read to his face. If your Lordship be in ’t, as I
believe you are, you must have the patience to
hear it.
Enter PAROLLES, blindfolded, with his Interpreter,
the FIRST SOLDIER.
Enter PAROLLES, blindfolded, with his Interpreter,
the FIRST SOLDIER.
BERTRAM  
A plague upon him! Muffled! He can say
nothing of me.
BERTRAM  
A plague upon him! Muffled! He can say
nothing of me.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Hush, hush. Hoodman
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comes.— Portotartarossa.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Hush, hush. Hoodman
comes.— Portotartarossa.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
He calls for the tortures.
What will you say without ’em?
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
He calls for the tortures.
What will you say without ’em?
PAROLLES  
I will confess what I know without constraint.
If you pinch me like a pasty, I can say no
More.
PAROLLES  
I will confess what I know without constraint.
If you pinch me like a pasty, I can say no
More.
FIRST SOLDIER  
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Bosko Chimurcho.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Bosko Chimurcho.
FIRST LORD  
Boblibindo chicurmurco.
FIRST LORD  
Boblibindo chicurmurco.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are a merciful general.—Our general
bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a
135
note.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are a merciful general.—Our general
bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a
note.
PAROLLES  
And truly, as I hope to live.
PAROLLES  
And truly, as I hope to live.
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) First, demand of
him how many horse the Duke is strong.
—What say you to that?
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) First, demand of
him how many horse the Duke is strong.
—What say you to that?
PAROLLES  
140
Five or six thousand, but very weak and
unserviceable. The troops are all scattered, and the
commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation
and credit, and as I hope to live.
PAROLLES  
Five or six thousand, but very weak and
unserviceable. The troops are all scattered, and the
commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation
and credit, and as I hope to live.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Shall I set down your answer so?
FIRST SOLDIER  
Shall I set down your answer so?
PAROLLES  
145
Do. I’ll take the Sacrament on ’t, how and
which way you will.
PAROLLES  
Do. I’ll take the Sacrament on ’t, how and
which way you will.
BERTRAM, aside
All’s one to him. What a past-saving
slave is this!
BERTRAM, aside
All’s one to him. What a past-saving
slave is this!
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
You’re deceived, my
lord. This is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant
155
militarist—that was his own phrase—that had the
whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and
the practice in the chape of his dagger.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
You’re deceived, my
lord. This is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant
militarist—that was his own phrase—that had the
whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and
the practice in the chape of his dagger.
SECOND LORD, aside
I will never trust a man again for
keeping his sword clean, nor believe he can have
everything in him by wearing his apparel neatly.
SECOND LORD, aside
I will never trust a man again for
keeping his sword clean, nor believe he can have
everything in him by wearing his apparel neatly.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Wel l, that’s set down.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Wel l, that’s set down.
PAROLLES  
“Five or six thousand horse,” I said—I will
160
say true—“or thereabouts” set down, for I’ll speak
truth.
PAROLLES  
“Five or six thousand horse,” I said—I will
say true—“or thereabouts” set down, for I’ll speak
truth.
FIRST LORD, aside
He’s very near the truth in this.
FIRST LORD, aside
He’s very near the truth in this.
ERTRAM, aside
But I con him no thanks for ’t, in the
nature he delivers it.
ERTRAM, aside
But I con him no thanks for ’t, in the
nature he delivers it.
PAROLLES  
“Poor rogues,” I pray you say.
PAROLLES  
“Poor rogues,” I pray you say.
FIRST SOLDIER  
165
Well, that’s set down.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Well, that’s set down.
PAROLLES  
I humbly thank you, sir. A truth’s a truth.
The rogues are marvelous poor.
PAROLLES  
I humbly thank you, sir. A truth’s a truth.
The rogues are marvelous poor.
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) Demand of him of what strength they are o’ foot.
170
—What say you to that?
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) Demand of him of what strength they are o’ foot.
—What say you to that?
PAROLLES  
By my troth, sir, if I were to live but this
present hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio a
hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus
so many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo,
175
Lodowick and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine
own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two
hundred fifty each; so that the muster-file, rotten
and sound, upon my life amounts not to fifteen
thousand poll, half of the which dare not shake the
snow from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces.
PAROLLES  
By my troth, sir, if I were to live but this
present hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio a
hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus
so many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo,
Lodowick and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine
own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two
hundred fifty each; so that the muster-file, rotten
and sound, upon my life amounts not to fifteen
thousand poll, half of the which dare not shake the
snow from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces.
BERTRAM, aside
180
What shall be done to him?
BERTRAM, aside
What shall be done to him?
FIRST LORD, aside
Nothing but let him have thanks.
(Aside to FIRST SOLDIER) Demand of him my condition
185
and what credit I have with the Duke.
FIRST LORD, aside
Nothing but let him have thanks.
(Aside to FIRST SOLDIER) Demand of him my condition
and what credit I have with the Duke.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Well, that’s set down.
(Pretending to read:) You shall demand of him whether
one Captain Dumaine be i’ th’ camp, a Frenchman;
what his reputation is with the Duke, what his valor,
190
honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he
thinks it were not possible with well-weighing sums
of gold to corrupt him to a revolt.—What say you to
this? What do you know of it?
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Well, that’s set down.
(Pretending to read:) You shall demand of him whether
one Captain Dumaine be i’ th’ camp, a Frenchman;
what his reputation is with the Duke, what his valor,
honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he
thinks it were not possible with well-weighing sums
of gold to corrupt him to a revolt.—What say you to
this? What do you know of it?
PAROLLES  
I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the
195
inter’gatories. Demand them singly.
PAROLLES  
I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the
inter’gatories. Demand them singly.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Do you know this Captain Dumaine?
FIRST SOLDIER  
Do you know this Captain Dumaine?
PAROLLES  
I know him. He was a botcher’s prentice in
Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the
shrieve’s fool with child, a dumb innocent that
200
could not say him nay.
PAROLLES  
I know him. He was a botcher’s prentice in
Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the
shrieve’s fool with child, a dumb innocent that
could not say him nay.
BERTRAM, aside to FIRST LORD
Nay, by your leave, hold
your hands, though I know his brains are forfeit to
the next tile that falls.
BERTRAM, aside to FIRST LORD
Nay, by your leave, hold
your hands, though I know his brains are forfeit to
the next tile that falls.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Well, is this captain in the Duke of
205
Florence’s camp?
FIRST SOLDIER  
Well, is this captain in the Duke of
Florence’s camp?
PAROLLES  
Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.
PAROLLES  
Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Nay, look not so upon
me. We shall hear of your Lordship anon.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Nay, look not so upon
me. We shall hear of your Lordship anon.
FIRST SOLDIER  
What is his reputation with the Duke?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What is his reputation with the Duke?
PAROLLES  
210
The Duke knows him for no other but a
poor officer of mine, and writ to me this other day
to turn him out o’ th’ band. I think I have his letter
in my pocket.
PAROLLES  
The Duke knows him for no other but a
poor officer of mine, and writ to me this other day
to turn him out o’ th’ band. I think I have his letter
in my pocket.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Marry, we’ll search.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Marry, we’ll search.
They search PAROLLES’ pockets.
They search PAROLLES’ pockets.
PAROLLES  
215
In good sadness, I do not know. Either it is
there, or it is upon a file with the Duke’s other letters
in my tent.
PAROLLES  
In good sadness, I do not know. Either it is
there, or it is upon a file with the Duke’s other letters
in my tent.
FIRST SOLDIER
Here ’tis; here’s a paper. Shall I read it to
you?
FIRST SOLDIER
Here ’tis; here’s a paper. Shall I read it to
you?
PAROLLES  
220
I do not know if it be it or no.
PAROLLES  
I do not know if it be it or no.
BERTRAM, aside
Our interpreter does it well.
BERTRAM, aside
Our interpreter does it well.
FIRST LORD, aside
Excellently.
FIRST LORD, aside
Excellently.
FIRST SOLDIER reads
Dian, the Count’s a fool and full
of gold—
FIRST SOLDIER reads
Dian, the Count’s a fool and full
of gold—
PAROLLES  
225
That is not the Duke’s letter, sir. That is an
advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one
Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count
Rossillion, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very
ruttish. I pray you, sir, put it up again.
PAROLLES  
That is not the Duke’s letter, sir. That is an
advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one
Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count
Rossillion, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very
ruttish. I pray you, sir, put it up again.
FIRST SOLDIER  
230
Nay, I’ll read it first, by your favor.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Nay, I’ll read it first, by your favor.
PAROLLES  
My meaning in ’t, I protest, was very honest
in the behalf of the maid, for I knew the young
count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is
a whale to virginity and devours up all the fry it
235
finds.
PAROLLES  
My meaning in ’t, I protest, was very honest
in the behalf of the maid, for I knew the young
count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is
a whale to virginity and devours up all the fry it
finds.
BERTRAM, aside
Damnable both-sides rogue!
BERTRAM, aside
Damnable both-sides rogue!
FIRST SOLDIER reads  
When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and
take it.
After he scores, he never pays the score.
240
Half won is match well made. Match, and well
 make it.
He ne’er pays after-debts. Take it before.
And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this:
Men are to mell with; boys are not to kiss.
245
For count of this: the Count’s a fool, I know it,
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,
Parolles.
FIRST SOLDIER reads  
When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and
take it.
After he scores, he never pays the score.
Half won is match well made. Match, and well
 make it.
He ne’er pays after-debts. Take it before.
And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this:
Men are to mell with; boys are not to kiss.
For count of this: the Count’s a fool, I know it,
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,
Parolles.
BERTRAM, aside
He shall be whipped through the
250
army with this rhyme in ’s forehead.
BERTRAM, aside
He shall be whipped through the
army with this rhyme in ’s forehead.
SECOND LORD, aside
This is your devoted friend, sir,
the manifold linguist and the armipotent soldier.
SECOND LORD, aside
This is your devoted friend, sir,
the manifold linguist and the armipotent soldier.
BERTRAM, aside
I could endure anything before but a
cat, and now he’s a cat to me.
BERTRAM, aside
I could endure anything before but a
cat, and now he’s a cat to me.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
255
I perceive, sir, by our
general’s looks we shall be fain to hang you.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
I perceive, sir, by our
general’s looks we shall be fain to hang you.
PAROLLES  
My life, sir, in any case! Not that I am afraid
to die, but that, my offenses being many, I would
repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live,
260
sir, in a dungeon, i’ th’ stocks, or anywhere, so I
may live.
PAROLLES  
My life, sir, in any case! Not that I am afraid
to die, but that, my offenses being many, I would
repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live,
sir, in a dungeon, i’ th’ stocks, or anywhere, so I
may live.
FIRST SOLDIER  
We’ll see what may be done, so you confess
freely. Therefore once more to this Captain
Dumaine: you have answered to his reputation
265
with the Duke, and to his valor. What is his
honesty?
FIRST SOLDIER  
We’ll see what may be done, so you confess
freely. Therefore once more to this Captain
Dumaine: you have answered to his reputation
with the Duke, and to his valor. What is his
honesty?
PAROLLES  
He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and ravishments, he parallels Nessus. He
professes not keeping of oaths. In breaking ’em he
270
is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such
volubility that you would think truth were a fool.
Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be
swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm,
save to his bedclothes about him; but they know
275
his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but
little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has everything
that an honest man should not have; what an
honest man should have, he has nothing.
PAROLLES  
He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and ravishments, he parallels Nessus. He
professes not keeping of oaths. In breaking ’em he
is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such
volubility that you would think truth were a fool.
Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be
swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm,
save to his bedclothes about him; but they know
his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but
little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has everything
that an honest man should not have; what an
honest man should have, he has nothing.
FIRST LORD, aside
I begin to love him for this.
FIRST LORD, aside
I begin to love him for this.
BERTRAM, aside
280
For this description of thine honesty?
A pox upon him! For me, he’s more and more
a cat.
BERTRAM, aside
For this description of thine honesty?
A pox upon him! For me, he’s more and more
a cat.
FIRST SOLDIER  
What say you to his expertness in war?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What say you to his expertness in war?
PAROLLES  
Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English
285
tragedians. To belie him I will not, and more
of his soldiership I know not, except in that country
he had the honor to be the officer at a place
there called Mile End, to instruct for the doubling
of files. I would do the man what honor I can, but
290
of this I am not certain.
PAROLLES  
Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English
tragedians. To belie him I will not, and more
of his soldiership I know not, except in that country
he had the honor to be the officer at a place
there called Mile End, to instruct for the doubling
of files. I would do the man what honor I can, but
of this I am not certain.
FIRST LORD, aside
He hath out-villained villainy so
far that the rarity redeems him.
FIRST LORD, aside
He hath out-villained villainy so
far that the rarity redeems him.
BERTRAM, aside
A pox on him! He’s a cat still.
BERTRAM, aside
A pox on him! He’s a cat still.
FIRST SOLDIER  
His qualities being at this poor price,
295
I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to
revolt.
FIRST SOLDIER  
His qualities being at this poor price,
I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to
revolt.
PAROLLES  
Sir, for a cardecu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’
entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession
300
for it perpetually.
PAROLLES  
Sir, for a cardecu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’
entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession
for it perpetually.
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s his brother, the other Captain Dumaine?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s his brother, the other Captain Dumaine?
SECOND LORD, aside
Why does he ask him of me?
SECOND LORD, aside
Why does he ask him of me?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s he?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s he?
PAROLLES  
305
E’en a crow o’ th’ same nest: not altogether
so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great
deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet
his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a
retreat he outruns any lackey. Marry, in coming on
310
he has the cramp.
PAROLLES  
E’en a crow o’ th’ same nest: not altogether
so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great
deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet
his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a
retreat he outruns any lackey. Marry, in coming on
he has the cramp.
FIRST SOLDIER  
If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine?
FIRST SOLDIER  
If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine?
PAROLLES  
Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count
Rossillion.
PAROLLES  
Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count
Rossillion.
FIRST SOLDIER  
315
I’ll whisper with the General and know
his pleasure.
FIRST SOLDIER  
I’ll whisper with the General and know
his pleasure.
PAROLLES, aside
I’ll no more drumming. A plague of
all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to
beguile the supposition of that lascivious young
320
boy the Count, have I run into this danger. Yet who
would have suspected an ambush where I was
taken?
PAROLLES, aside
I’ll no more drumming. A plague of
all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to
beguile the supposition of that lascivious young
boy the Count, have I run into this danger. Yet who
would have suspected an ambush where I was
taken?
FIRST SOLDIER  
There is no remedy, sir, but you must
die. The General says you that have so traitorously
325
discovered the secrets of your army and made
such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held
can serve the world for no honest use. Therefore
you must die.—Come, headsman, off with his
head.
FIRST SOLDIER  
There is no remedy, sir, but you must
die. The General says you that have so traitorously
discovered the secrets of your army and made
such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held
can serve the world for no honest use. Therefore
you must die.—Come, headsman, off with his
head.
PAROLLES  
330
O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my
death!
PAROLLES  
O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my
death!
FIRST SOLDIER  
That shall you, and take your leave of
all your friends. He removes the blindfold. So,
look about you. Know you any here?
FIRST SOLDIER  
That shall you, and take your leave of
all your friends. He removes the blindfold. So,
look about you. Know you any here?
BERTRAM  
335
Good morrow, noble captain.
BERTRAM  
Good morrow, noble captain.
SECOND LORD  
God bless you, Captain Parolles.
SECOND LORD  
God bless you, Captain Parolles.
FIRST LORD  
God save you, noble captain.
FIRST LORD  
God save you, noble captain.
SECOND LORD  
Captain, what greeting will you to my
Lord Lafew? I am for France.
SECOND LORD  
Captain, what greeting will you to my
Lord Lafew? I am for France.
FIRST LORD  
340
Good captain, will you give me a copy of
the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count
Rossillion? An I were not a very coward, I’d compel
it of you. But fare you well.
FIRST LORD  
Good captain, will you give me a copy of
the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count
Rossillion? An I were not a very coward, I’d compel
it of you. But fare you well.
BERTRAM and LORDS exit.
BERTRAM and LORDS exit.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are undone, captain—all but your
345
scarf; that has a knot on ’t yet.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are undone, captain—all but your
scarf; that has a knot on ’t yet.
PAROLLES  
Who cannot be crushed with a plot?
PAROLLES  
Who cannot be crushed with a plot?
FIRST SOLDIER
If you could find out a country where
but women were that had received so much
shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare
350
you well, sir. I am for France too. We shall speak of you there.
FIRST SOLDIER
If you could find out a country where
but women were that had received so much
shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare
you well, sir. I am for France too. We shall speak of you there.
He exits.
He exits.
PAROLLES  
Yet am I thankful. If my heart were great,
’Twould burst at this. Captain I’ll be no more,
But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
355
As captain shall. Simply the thing I am
Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
Let him fear this, for it will come to pass
That every braggart shall be found an ass.
Rust, sword; cool, blushes; and Parolles live
360
Safest in shame. Being fooled, by fool’ry thrive.
There’s place and means for every man alive.
I’ll after them.
PAROLLES  
Yet am I thankful. If my heart were great,
’Twould burst at this. Captain I’ll be no more,
But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
As captain shall. Simply the thing I am
Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
Let him fear this, for it will come to pass
That every braggart shall be found an ass.
Rust, sword; cool, blushes; and Parolles live
Safest in shame. Being fooled, by fool’ry thrive.
There’s place and means for every man alive.
I’ll after them.
He exits.
He exits.

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter the two French LORDS and some two
or three SOLDIERS.
Enter the two French LORDS and some two
or three SOLDIERS.
FIRST LORD
You have not given him his mother’s letter?
FIRST LORD
You have not given him his mother’s letter?
SECOND LORD  
I have delivered it an hour since. There
is something in ’t that stings his nature, for on the
5
reading it he changed almost into another man.
SECOND LORD  
I have delivered it an hour since. There
is something in ’t that stings his nature, for on the
reading it he changed almost into another man.
FIRST LORD  
He has much worthy blame laid upon him
for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.
FIRST LORD  
He has much worthy blame laid upon him
for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.
SECOND LORD
Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
displeasure of the King, who had even tuned
10
his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you
a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.
SECOND LORD
Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
displeasure of the King, who had even tuned
his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you
a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.
FIRST LORD  
When you have spoken it, ’tis dead, and I
am the grave of it.
FIRST LORD  
When you have spoken it, ’tis dead, and I
am the grave of it.
SECOND LORD  
He hath perverted a young gentlewoman
15
here in Florence of a most chaste renown,
and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her
honor. He hath given her his monumental ring and
thinks himself made in the unchaste composition.
SECOND LORD  
He hath perverted a young gentlewoman
here in Florence of a most chaste renown,
and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her
honor. He hath given her his monumental ring and
thinks himself made in the unchaste composition.
FIRST LORD  
Now God delay our rebellion! As we are
20
ourselves, what things are we!
FIRST LORD  
Now God delay our rebellion! As we are
ourselves, what things are we!
SECOND LORD  
Merely our own traitors. And, as in the
common course of all treasons we still see them
reveal themselves till they attain to their abhorred
ends, so he that in this action contrives against his
25
own nobility, in his proper stream o’erflows
himself.
SECOND LORD  
Merely our own traitors. And, as in the
common course of all treasons we still see them
reveal themselves till they attain to their abhorred
ends, so he that in this action contrives against his
own nobility, in his proper stream o’erflows
himself.
FIRST LORD  
Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters
of our unlawful intents? We shall not, then,
have his company tonight?
FIRST LORD  
Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters
of our unlawful intents? We shall not, then,
have his company tonight?
SECOND LORD 
30
Not till after midnight, for he is dieted to
his hour.
SECOND LORD 
Not till after midnight, for he is dieted to
his hour.
FIRST LORD  
That approaches apace. I would gladly
have him see his company anatomized, that he
might take a measure of his own judgments
35
wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit.
FIRST LORD  
That approaches apace. I would gladly
have him see his company anatomized, that he
might take a measure of his own judgments
wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit.
SECOND LORD  
We will not meddle with him till he
come, for his presence must be the whip of the
other.
SECOND LORD  
We will not meddle with him till he
come, for his presence must be the whip of the
other.
FIRST LORD  
In the meantime, what hear you of these
40
wars?
FIRST LORD  
In the meantime, what hear you of these
wars?
SECOND LORD  
I hear there is an overture of peace.
SECOND LORD  
I hear there is an overture of peace.
FIRST LORD  
Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
FIRST LORD  
Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
SECOND LORD  
What will Count Rossillion do then?
Will he travel higher or return again into France?
SECOND LORD  
What will Count Rossillion do then?
Will he travel higher or return again into France?
FIRST LORD  
45
I perceive by this demand you are not altogether
of his counsel.
FIRST LORD  
I perceive by this demand you are not altogether
of his counsel.
SECOND LORD  
Let it be forbid, sir! So should I be a
great deal of his act.
SECOND LORD  
Let it be forbid, sir! So should I be a
great deal of his act.
FIRST LORD  
Sir, his wife some two months since fled
50
from his house. Her pretense is a pilgrimage to
Saint Jaques le Grand, which holy undertaking
with most austere sanctimony she accomplished.
And, there residing, the tenderness of her nature
became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan
55
of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.
FIRST LORD  
Sir, his wife some two months since fled
from his house. Her pretense is a pilgrimage to
Saint Jaques le Grand, which holy undertaking
with most austere sanctimony she accomplished.
And, there residing, the tenderness of her nature
became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan
of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.
SECOND LORD  
How is this justified?
SECOND LORD  
How is this justified?
FIRST LORD  
The stronger part of it by her own letters,
which makes her story true even to the point of her
death. Her death itself, which could not be her
office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by
60
the rector of the place.
FIRST LORD  
The stronger part of it by her own letters,
which makes her story true even to the point of her
death. Her death itself, which could not be her
office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by
the rector of the place.
SECOND LORD  
Hath the Count all this intelligence?
SECOND LORD  
Hath the Count all this intelligence?
FIRST LORD  
Ay, and the particular confirmations, point
from point, to the full arming of the verity.
FIRST LORD  
Ay, and the particular confirmations, point
from point, to the full arming of the verity.
SECOND LORD  
65
I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of this.
SECOND LORD  
I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of this.
FIRST LORD  
How mightily sometimes we make us
comforts of our losses.
FIRST LORD  
How mightily sometimes we make us
comforts of our losses.
SECOND LORD  
And how mightily some other times we
70
drown our gain in tears. The great dignity that his
valor hath here acquired for him shall at home be
encountered with a shame as ample.
SECOND LORD  
And how mightily some other times we
drown our gain in tears. The great dignity that his
valor hath here acquired for him shall at home be
encountered with a shame as ample.
FIRST LORD  
The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,
good and ill together. Our virtues would be proud
75i
f our faults whipped them not, and our crimes
would despair if they were not cherished by our
virtues.
Enter a SERVANT.
How now? Where’s your master?
FIRST LORD  
The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,
good and ill together. Our virtues would be proud
75i
f our faults whipped them not, and our crimes
would despair if they were not cherished by our
virtues.
Enter a SERVANT.
How now? Where’s your master?
SERVANT  
He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom
80
he hath taken a solemn leave. His Lordship will
next morning for France. The Duke hath offered
him letters of commendations to the King.
SERVANT  
He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom
he hath taken a solemn leave. His Lordship will
next morning for France. The Duke hath offered
him letters of commendations to the King.
SECOND LORD
They shall be no more than needful
there, if they were more than they can commend.
85
They cannot be too sweet for the King’s tartness.
 
Enter BERTRAM COUNT ROSSILLION.
 
Here’s his Lordship now.—How now, my lord? Is ’t
not after midnight?
SECOND LORD
They shall be no more than needful
there, if they were more than they can commend.
They cannot be too sweet for the King’s tartness.
 
Enter BERTRAM COUNT ROSSILLION.
 
Here’s his Lordship now.—How now, my lord? Is ’t
not after midnight?
BERTRAM  
I have tonight dispatched sixteen businesses,
a month’s length apiece. By an abstract of
90
success: I have congeed with the Duke, done my
adieu with his nearest, buried a wife, mourned for
her, writ to my lady mother I am returning, entertained
my convoy, and between these main parcels
of dispatch effected many nicer needs. The last
95
was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.
BERTRAM  
I have tonight dispatched sixteen businesses,
a month’s length apiece. By an abstract of
success: I have congeed with the Duke, done my
adieu with his nearest, buried a wife, mourned for
her, writ to my lady mother I am returning, entertained
my convoy, and between these main parcels
of dispatch effected many nicer needs. The last
was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.
SECOND LORD  
If the business be of any difficulty, and
this morning your departure hence, it requires
haste of your Lordship.
SECOND LORD  
If the business be of any difficulty, and
this morning your departure hence, it requires
haste of your Lordship.
BERTRAM  
I mean the business is not ended as fearing
100
to hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the Fool and the Soldier? Come,
bring forth this counterfeit module; has deceived
me like a double-meaning prophesier.
BERTRAM  
I mean the business is not ended as fearing
to hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the Fool and the Soldier? Come,
bring forth this counterfeit module; has deceived
me like a double-meaning prophesier.
SECOND LORD
Bring him forth. Has sat i’ th’ stocks
105
all night, poor gallant knave.
SECOND LORD
Bring him forth. Has sat i’ th’ stocks
all night, poor gallant knave.
SOLDIERS exit.
SOLDIERS exit.
BERTRAM  
No matter. His heels have deserved it in
usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry
Himself?
BERTRAM  
No matter. His heels have deserved it in
usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry
Himself?
SECOND LORD
I have told your Lordship already: the
110
stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would
be understood: he weeps like a wench that had
shed her milk. He hath confessed himself to Morgan,
whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time
of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of
115
his setting i’ th’ stocks. And what think you he hath
confessed?
SECOND LORD
I have told your Lordship already: the
stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would
be understood: he weeps like a wench that had
shed her milk. He hath confessed himself to Morgan,
whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time
of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of
his setting i’ th’ stocks. And what think you he hath
confessed?
BERTRAM  
Nothing of me, has he?
BERTRAM  
Nothing of me, has he?
SECOND LORD  
His confession is taken, and it shall be
read to his face. If your Lordship be in ’t, as I
120
believe you are, you must have the patience to
hear it.
SECOND LORD  
His confession is taken, and it shall be
read to his face. If your Lordship be in ’t, as I
believe you are, you must have the patience to
hear it.
Enter PAROLLES, blindfolded, with his Interpreter,
the FIRST SOLDIER.
Enter PAROLLES, blindfolded, with his Interpreter,
the FIRST SOLDIER.
BERTRAM  
A plague upon him! Muffled! He can say
nothing of me.
BERTRAM  
A plague upon him! Muffled! He can say
nothing of me.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Hush, hush. Hoodman
125
comes.— Portotartarossa.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Hush, hush. Hoodman
comes.— Portotartarossa.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
He calls for the tortures.
What will you say without ’em?
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
He calls for the tortures.
What will you say without ’em?
PAROLLES  
I will confess what I know without constraint.
If you pinch me like a pasty, I can say no
More.
PAROLLES  
I will confess what I know without constraint.
If you pinch me like a pasty, I can say no
More.
FIRST SOLDIER  
130
Bosko Chimurcho.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Bosko Chimurcho.
FIRST LORD  
Boblibindo chicurmurco.
FIRST LORD  
Boblibindo chicurmurco.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are a merciful general.—Our general
bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a
135
note.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are a merciful general.—Our general
bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a
note.
PAROLLES  
And truly, as I hope to live.
PAROLLES  
And truly, as I hope to live.
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) First, demand of
him how many horse the Duke is strong.
—What say you to that?
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) First, demand of
him how many horse the Duke is strong.
—What say you to that?
PAROLLES  
140
Five or six thousand, but very weak and
unserviceable. The troops are all scattered, and the
commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation
and credit, and as I hope to live.
PAROLLES  
Five or six thousand, but very weak and
unserviceable. The troops are all scattered, and the
commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation
and credit, and as I hope to live.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Shall I set down your answer so?
FIRST SOLDIER  
Shall I set down your answer so?
PAROLLES  
145
Do. I’ll take the Sacrament on ’t, how and
which way you will.
PAROLLES  
Do. I’ll take the Sacrament on ’t, how and
which way you will.
BERTRAM, aside
All’s one to him. What a past-saving
slave is this!
BERTRAM, aside
All’s one to him. What a past-saving
slave is this!
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
You’re deceived, my
lord. This is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant
155
militarist—that was his own phrase—that had the
whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and
the practice in the chape of his dagger.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
You’re deceived, my
lord. This is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant
militarist—that was his own phrase—that had the
whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and
the practice in the chape of his dagger.
SECOND LORD, aside
I will never trust a man again for
keeping his sword clean, nor believe he can have
everything in him by wearing his apparel neatly.
SECOND LORD, aside
I will never trust a man again for
keeping his sword clean, nor believe he can have
everything in him by wearing his apparel neatly.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Wel l, that’s set down.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Wel l, that’s set down.
PAROLLES  
“Five or six thousand horse,” I said—I will
160
say true—“or thereabouts” set down, for I’ll speak
truth.
PAROLLES  
“Five or six thousand horse,” I said—I will
say true—“or thereabouts” set down, for I’ll speak
truth.
FIRST LORD, aside
He’s very near the truth in this.
FIRST LORD, aside
He’s very near the truth in this.
ERTRAM, aside
But I con him no thanks for ’t, in the
nature he delivers it.
ERTRAM, aside
But I con him no thanks for ’t, in the
nature he delivers it.
PAROLLES  
“Poor rogues,” I pray you say.
PAROLLES  
“Poor rogues,” I pray you say.
FIRST SOLDIER  
165
Well, that’s set down.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Well, that’s set down.
PAROLLES  
I humbly thank you, sir. A truth’s a truth.
The rogues are marvelous poor.
PAROLLES  
I humbly thank you, sir. A truth’s a truth.
The rogues are marvelous poor.
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) Demand of him of what strength they are o’ foot.
170
—What say you to that?
FIRST SOLDIER
(As if reading a note.) Demand of him of what strength they are o’ foot.
—What say you to that?
PAROLLES  
By my troth, sir, if I were to live but this
present hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio a
hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus
so many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo,
175
Lodowick and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine
own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two
hundred fifty each; so that the muster-file, rotten
and sound, upon my life amounts not to fifteen
thousand poll, half of the which dare not shake the
snow from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces.
PAROLLES  
By my troth, sir, if I were to live but this
present hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio a
hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus
so many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo,
Lodowick and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine
own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two
hundred fifty each; so that the muster-file, rotten
and sound, upon my life amounts not to fifteen
thousand poll, half of the which dare not shake the
snow from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces.
BERTRAM, aside
180
What shall be done to him?
BERTRAM, aside
What shall be done to him?
FIRST LORD, aside
Nothing but let him have thanks.
(Aside to FIRST SOLDIER) Demand of him my condition
185
and what credit I have with the Duke.
FIRST LORD, aside
Nothing but let him have thanks.
(Aside to FIRST SOLDIER) Demand of him my condition
and what credit I have with the Duke.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Well, that’s set down.
(Pretending to read:) You shall demand of him whether
one Captain Dumaine be i’ th’ camp, a Frenchman;
what his reputation is with the Duke, what his valor,
190
honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he
thinks it were not possible with well-weighing sums
of gold to corrupt him to a revolt.—What say you to
this? What do you know of it?
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
Well, that’s set down.
(Pretending to read:) You shall demand of him whether
one Captain Dumaine be i’ th’ camp, a Frenchman;
what his reputation is with the Duke, what his valor,
honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he
thinks it were not possible with well-weighing sums
of gold to corrupt him to a revolt.—What say you to
this? What do you know of it?
PAROLLES  
I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the
195
inter’gatories. Demand them singly.
PAROLLES  
I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the
inter’gatories. Demand them singly.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Do you know this Captain Dumaine?
FIRST SOLDIER  
Do you know this Captain Dumaine?
PAROLLES  
I know him. He was a botcher’s prentice in
Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the
shrieve’s fool with child, a dumb innocent that
200
could not say him nay.
PAROLLES  
I know him. He was a botcher’s prentice in
Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the
shrieve’s fool with child, a dumb innocent that
could not say him nay.
BERTRAM, aside to FIRST LORD
Nay, by your leave, hold
your hands, though I know his brains are forfeit to
the next tile that falls.
BERTRAM, aside to FIRST LORD
Nay, by your leave, hold
your hands, though I know his brains are forfeit to
the next tile that falls.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Well, is this captain in the Duke of
205
Florence’s camp?
FIRST SOLDIER  
Well, is this captain in the Duke of
Florence’s camp?
PAROLLES  
Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.
PAROLLES  
Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Nay, look not so upon
me. We shall hear of your Lordship anon.
FIRST LORD, aside to BERTRAM
Nay, look not so upon
me. We shall hear of your Lordship anon.
FIRST SOLDIER  
What is his reputation with the Duke?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What is his reputation with the Duke?
PAROLLES  
210
The Duke knows him for no other but a
poor officer of mine, and writ to me this other day
to turn him out o’ th’ band. I think I have his letter
in my pocket.
PAROLLES  
The Duke knows him for no other but a
poor officer of mine, and writ to me this other day
to turn him out o’ th’ band. I think I have his letter
in my pocket.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Marry, we’ll search.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Marry, we’ll search.
They search PAROLLES’ pockets.
They search PAROLLES’ pockets.
PAROLLES  
215
In good sadness, I do not know. Either it is
there, or it is upon a file with the Duke’s other letters
in my tent.
PAROLLES  
In good sadness, I do not know. Either it is
there, or it is upon a file with the Duke’s other letters
in my tent.
FIRST SOLDIER
Here ’tis; here’s a paper. Shall I read it to
you?
FIRST SOLDIER
Here ’tis; here’s a paper. Shall I read it to
you?
PAROLLES  
220
I do not know if it be it or no.
PAROLLES  
I do not know if it be it or no.
BERTRAM, aside
Our interpreter does it well.
BERTRAM, aside
Our interpreter does it well.
FIRST LORD, aside
Excellently.
FIRST LORD, aside
Excellently.
FIRST SOLDIER reads
Dian, the Count’s a fool and full
of gold—
FIRST SOLDIER reads
Dian, the Count’s a fool and full
of gold—
PAROLLES  
225
That is not the Duke’s letter, sir. That is an
advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one
Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count
Rossillion, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very
ruttish. I pray you, sir, put it up again.
PAROLLES  
That is not the Duke’s letter, sir. That is an
advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one
Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count
Rossillion, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very
ruttish. I pray you, sir, put it up again.
FIRST SOLDIER  
230
Nay, I’ll read it first, by your favor.
FIRST SOLDIER  
Nay, I’ll read it first, by your favor.
PAROLLES  
My meaning in ’t, I protest, was very honest
in the behalf of the maid, for I knew the young
count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is
a whale to virginity and devours up all the fry it
235
finds.
PAROLLES  
My meaning in ’t, I protest, was very honest
in the behalf of the maid, for I knew the young
count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is
a whale to virginity and devours up all the fry it
finds.
BERTRAM, aside
Damnable both-sides rogue!
BERTRAM, aside
Damnable both-sides rogue!
FIRST SOLDIER reads  
When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and
take it.
After he scores, he never pays the score.
240
Half won is match well made. Match, and well
 make it.
He ne’er pays after-debts. Take it before.
And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this:
Men are to mell with; boys are not to kiss.
245
For count of this: the Count’s a fool, I know it,
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,
Parolles.
FIRST SOLDIER reads  
When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and
take it.
After he scores, he never pays the score.
Half won is match well made. Match, and well
 make it.
He ne’er pays after-debts. Take it before.
And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this:
Men are to mell with; boys are not to kiss.
For count of this: the Count’s a fool, I know it,
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,
Parolles.
BERTRAM, aside
He shall be whipped through the
250
army with this rhyme in ’s forehead.
BERTRAM, aside
He shall be whipped through the
army with this rhyme in ’s forehead.
SECOND LORD, aside
This is your devoted friend, sir,
the manifold linguist and the armipotent soldier.
SECOND LORD, aside
This is your devoted friend, sir,
the manifold linguist and the armipotent soldier.
BERTRAM, aside
I could endure anything before but a
cat, and now he’s a cat to me.
BERTRAM, aside
I could endure anything before but a
cat, and now he’s a cat to me.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
255
I perceive, sir, by our
general’s looks we shall be fain to hang you.
FIRST SOLDIER, to PAROLLES
I perceive, sir, by our
general’s looks we shall be fain to hang you.
PAROLLES  
My life, sir, in any case! Not that I am afraid
to die, but that, my offenses being many, I would
repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live,
260
sir, in a dungeon, i’ th’ stocks, or anywhere, so I
may live.
PAROLLES  
My life, sir, in any case! Not that I am afraid
to die, but that, my offenses being many, I would
repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live,
sir, in a dungeon, i’ th’ stocks, or anywhere, so I
may live.
FIRST SOLDIER  
We’ll see what may be done, so you confess
freely. Therefore once more to this Captain
Dumaine: you have answered to his reputation
265
with the Duke, and to his valor. What is his
honesty?
FIRST SOLDIER  
We’ll see what may be done, so you confess
freely. Therefore once more to this Captain
Dumaine: you have answered to his reputation
with the Duke, and to his valor. What is his
honesty?
PAROLLES  
He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and ravishments, he parallels Nessus. He
professes not keeping of oaths. In breaking ’em he
270
is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such
volubility that you would think truth were a fool.
Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be
swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm,
save to his bedclothes about him; but they know
275
his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but
little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has everything
that an honest man should not have; what an
honest man should have, he has nothing.
PAROLLES  
He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and ravishments, he parallels Nessus. He
professes not keeping of oaths. In breaking ’em he
is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such
volubility that you would think truth were a fool.
Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be
swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm,
save to his bedclothes about him; but they know
his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but
little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has everything
that an honest man should not have; what an
honest man should have, he has nothing.
FIRST LORD, aside
I begin to love him for this.
FIRST LORD, aside
I begin to love him for this.
BERTRAM, aside
280
For this description of thine honesty?
A pox upon him! For me, he’s more and more
a cat.
BERTRAM, aside
For this description of thine honesty?
A pox upon him! For me, he’s more and more
a cat.
FIRST SOLDIER  
What say you to his expertness in war?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What say you to his expertness in war?
PAROLLES  
Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English
285
tragedians. To belie him I will not, and more
of his soldiership I know not, except in that country
he had the honor to be the officer at a place
there called Mile End, to instruct for the doubling
of files. I would do the man what honor I can, but
290
of this I am not certain.
PAROLLES  
Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English
tragedians. To belie him I will not, and more
of his soldiership I know not, except in that country
he had the honor to be the officer at a place
there called Mile End, to instruct for the doubling
of files. I would do the man what honor I can, but
of this I am not certain.
FIRST LORD, aside
He hath out-villained villainy so
far that the rarity redeems him.
FIRST LORD, aside
He hath out-villained villainy so
far that the rarity redeems him.
BERTRAM, aside
A pox on him! He’s a cat still.
BERTRAM, aside
A pox on him! He’s a cat still.
FIRST SOLDIER  
His qualities being at this poor price,
295
I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to
revolt.
FIRST SOLDIER  
His qualities being at this poor price,
I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to
revolt.
PAROLLES  
Sir, for a cardecu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’
entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession
300
for it perpetually.
PAROLLES  
Sir, for a cardecu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’
entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession
for it perpetually.
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s his brother, the other Captain Dumaine?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s his brother, the other Captain Dumaine?
SECOND LORD, aside
Why does he ask him of me?
SECOND LORD, aside
Why does he ask him of me?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s he?
FIRST SOLDIER  
What’s he?
PAROLLES  
305
E’en a crow o’ th’ same nest: not altogether
so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great
deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet
his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a
retreat he outruns any lackey. Marry, in coming on
310
he has the cramp.
PAROLLES  
E’en a crow o’ th’ same nest: not altogether
so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great
deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet
his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a
retreat he outruns any lackey. Marry, in coming on
he has the cramp.
FIRST SOLDIER  
If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine?
FIRST SOLDIER  
If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine?
PAROLLES  
Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count
Rossillion.
PAROLLES  
Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count
Rossillion.
FIRST SOLDIER  
315
I’ll whisper with the General and know
his pleasure.
FIRST SOLDIER  
I’ll whisper with the General and know
his pleasure.
PAROLLES, aside
I’ll no more drumming. A plague of
all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to
beguile the supposition of that lascivious young
320
boy the Count, have I run into this danger. Yet who
would have suspected an ambush where I was
taken?
PAROLLES, aside
I’ll no more drumming. A plague of
all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to
beguile the supposition of that lascivious young
boy the Count, have I run into this danger. Yet who
would have suspected an ambush where I was
taken?
FIRST SOLDIER  
There is no remedy, sir, but you must
die. The General says you that have so traitorously
325
discovered the secrets of your army and made
such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held
can serve the world for no honest use. Therefore
you must die.—Come, headsman, off with his
head.
FIRST SOLDIER  
There is no remedy, sir, but you must
die. The General says you that have so traitorously
discovered the secrets of your army and made
such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held
can serve the world for no honest use. Therefore
you must die.—Come, headsman, off with his
head.
PAROLLES  
330
O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my
death!
PAROLLES  
O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my
death!
FIRST SOLDIER  
That shall you, and take your leave of
all your friends. He removes the blindfold. So,
look about you. Know you any here?
FIRST SOLDIER  
That shall you, and take your leave of
all your friends. He removes the blindfold. So,
look about you. Know you any here?
BERTRAM  
335
Good morrow, noble captain.
BERTRAM  
Good morrow, noble captain.
SECOND LORD  
God bless you, Captain Parolles.
SECOND LORD  
God bless you, Captain Parolles.
FIRST LORD  
God save you, noble captain.
FIRST LORD  
God save you, noble captain.
SECOND LORD  
Captain, what greeting will you to my
Lord Lafew? I am for France.
SECOND LORD  
Captain, what greeting will you to my
Lord Lafew? I am for France.
FIRST LORD  
340
Good captain, will you give me a copy of
the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count
Rossillion? An I were not a very coward, I’d compel
it of you. But fare you well.
FIRST LORD  
Good captain, will you give me a copy of
the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count
Rossillion? An I were not a very coward, I’d compel
it of you. But fare you well.
BERTRAM and LORDS exit.
BERTRAM and LORDS exit.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are undone, captain—all but your
345
scarf; that has a knot on ’t yet.
FIRST SOLDIER  
You are undone, captain—all but your
scarf; that has a knot on ’t yet.
PAROLLES  
Who cannot be crushed with a plot?
PAROLLES  
Who cannot be crushed with a plot?
FIRST SOLDIER
If you could find out a country where
but women were that had received so much
shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare
350
you well, sir. I am for France too. We shall speak of you there.
FIRST SOLDIER
If you could find out a country where
but women were that had received so much
shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare
you well, sir. I am for France too. We shall speak of you there.
He exits.
He exits.
PAROLLES  
Yet am I thankful. If my heart were great,
’Twould burst at this. Captain I’ll be no more,
But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
355
As captain shall. Simply the thing I am
Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
Let him fear this, for it will come to pass
That every braggart shall be found an ass.
Rust, sword; cool, blushes; and Parolles live
360
Safest in shame. Being fooled, by fool’ry thrive.
There’s place and means for every man alive.
I’ll after them.
PAROLLES  
Yet am I thankful. If my heart were great,
’Twould burst at this. Captain I’ll be no more,
But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
As captain shall. Simply the thing I am
Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
Let him fear this, for it will come to pass
That every braggart shall be found an ass.
Rust, sword; cool, blushes; and Parolles live
Safest in shame. Being fooled, by fool’ry thrive.
There’s place and means for every man alive.
I’ll after them.
He exits.
He exits.

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