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Enter ARMADO and MOTE, his page.
Enter ARMADO and MOTE, his page.
ARMADO  
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit
grows melancholy?
ARMADO  
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit
grows melancholy?
BOY  
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
BOY  
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
ARMADO  
Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing,
5
dear imp.
ARMADO  
Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing,
dear imp.
BOY  
No, no. O Lord, sir, no!
BOY  
No, no. O Lord, sir, no!
ARMADO  
How canst thou part sadness and melancholy,
my tender juvenal?
ARMADO  
How canst thou part sadness and melancholy,
my tender juvenal?
BOY  
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my
10
tough signior.
BOY  
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my
tough signior.
ARMADO  
Why “tough signior”? Why “tough signior”?
ARMADO  
Why “tough signior”? Why “tough signior”?
BOY  
Why “tender juvenal”? Why “tender juvenal”?
BOY  
Why “tender juvenal”? Why “tender juvenal”?
ARMADO  
I spoke it “tender juvenal” as a congruent
epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which
15
we may nominate “tender.”
ARMADO  
I spoke it “tender juvenal” as a congruent
epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which
we may nominate “tender.”
BOY  
And I “tough signior” as an appurtenant title to
your old time, which we may name “tough.”
BOY  
And I “tough signior” as an appurtenant title to
your old time, which we may name “tough.”
ARMADO  
Pretty and apt.
ARMADO  
Pretty and apt.
BOY  
How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or
20
I apt and my saying pretty?
BOY  
How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or
I apt and my saying pretty?
ARMADO  
Thou pretty because little.
ARMADO  
Thou pretty because little.
BOY  
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
BOY  
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
ARMADO  
And therefore apt, because quick.
ARMADO  
And therefore apt, because quick.
BOY  
Speak you this in my praise, master?
BOY  
Speak you this in my praise, master?
ARMADO  
25
In thy condign praise.
ARMADO  
In thy condign praise.
BOY  
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
BOY  
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
ARMADO  
What, that an eel is ingenious?
ARMADO  
What, that an eel is ingenious?
BOY  
That an eel is quick.
BOY  
That an eel is quick.
ARMADO  
I do say thou art quick in answers. Thou
30
heat’st my blood.
ARMADO  
I do say thou art quick in answers. Thou
heat’st my blood.
BOY  
I am answered, sir.
BOY  
I am answered, sir.
ARMADO  
I love not to be crossed.
ARMADO  
I love not to be crossed.
BOY , aside
He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love
not him.
BOY , aside
He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love
not him.
ARMADO  
35
I have promised to study three years with the
Duke.
ARMADO  
I have promised to study three years with the
Duke.
BOY  
You may do it in an hour, sir.
BOY  
You may do it in an hour, sir.
ARMADO  
Impossible.
ARMADO  
Impossible.
BOY  
How many is one thrice told?
BOY  
How many is one thrice told?
ARMADO  
40
I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a
tapster.
ARMADO  
I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a
tapster.
BOY  
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
BOY  
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
ARMADO  
I confess both. They are both the varnish of a
complete man.
ARMADO  
I confess both. They are both the varnish of a
complete man.
BOY  
45
Then I am sure you know how much the gross
sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
BOY  
Then I am sure you know how much the gross
sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
ARMADO  
It doth amount to one more than two.
ARMADO  
It doth amount to one more than two.
BOY  
Which the base vulgar do call “three.”
BOY  
Which the base vulgar do call “three.”
ARMADO  
True.
ARMADO  
True.
BOY  
50
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is
“three” studied ere you’ll thrice wink. And how
easy it is to put “years” to the word “three” and
study “three years” in two words, the dancing horse
will tell you.
BOY  
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is
“three” studied ere you’ll thrice wink. And how
easy it is to put “years” to the word “three” and
study “three years” in two words, the dancing horse
will tell you.
ARMADO
55
A most fine figure.
ARMADO
A most fine figure.
BOY, aside
To prove you a cipher.
BOY, aside
To prove you a cipher.
ARMADO  
I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it
is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
base wench. If drawing my sword against the
60
humor of affection would deliver me from the
reprobate thought of it, I would take desire prisoner
and ransom him to any French courtier for a
new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks
I should outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy. What
65
great men have been in love?
ARMADO  
I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it
is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
base wench. If drawing my sword against the
humor of affection would deliver me from the
reprobate thought of it, I would take desire prisoner
and ransom him to any French courtier for a
new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks
I should outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy. What
great men have been in love?
BOY  
Hercules, master.
BOY  
Hercules, master.
ARMADO  
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear
boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be
men of good repute and carriage.
ARMADO  
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear
boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be
men of good repute and carriage.
BOY  
70
Samson, master; he was a man of good carriage,
great carriage, for he carried the town gates on his
back like a porter, and he was in love.
BOY  
Samson, master; he was a man of good carriage,
great carriage, for he carried the town gates on his
back like a porter, and he was in love.
ARMADO  
O, well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson;
I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst
75
me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was
Samson’s love, my dear Mote?
ARMADO  
O, well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson;
I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst
me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was
Samson’s love, my dear Mote?
BOY  
A woman, master.
BOY  
A woman, master.
ARMADO  
Of what complexion?
ARMADO  
Of what complexion?
BOY  
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of
80
the four.
BOY  
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of
the four.
ARMADO  
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
ARMADO  
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
BOY  
Of the sea-water green, sir.
BOY  
Of the sea-water green, sir.
ARMADO  
Is that one of the four complexions?
ARMADO  
Is that one of the four complexions?
BOY  
As I have read, sir, and the best of them too.
BOY  
As I have read, sir, and the best of them too.
ARMADO  
85
Green indeed is the color of lovers. But to
have a love of that color, methinks Samson had
small reason for it. He surely affected her for her
wit.
ARMADO  
Green indeed is the color of lovers. But to
have a love of that color, methinks Samson had
small reason for it. He surely affected her for her
wit.
BOY  
It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.
BOY  
It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.
ARMADO  
90
My love is most immaculate white and red.
ARMADO  
My love is most immaculate white and red.
BOY  
Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked
under such colors.
BOY  
Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked
under such colors.
ARMADO  
Define, define, well-educated infant.
ARMADO  
Define, define, well-educated infant.
BOY  
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist
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me.
BOY  
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist
me.
ARMADO  
Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty and
pathetical.
ARMADO  
Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty and
pathetical.
BOY  
If she be made of white and red,
   Her faults will ne’er be known,
100
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
   And fears by pale white shown.
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
   By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
  
105
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
white and red.
BOY  
If she be made of white and red,
   Her faults will ne’er be known,
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
   And fears by pale white shown.
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
   By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
  
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
white and red.
ARMADO  
Is there not a ballad, boy, of “The King and
the Beggar”?
ARMADO  
Is there not a ballad, boy, of “The King and
the Beggar”?
BOY  
110
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
three ages since, but I think now ’tis not to be found;
or if it were, it would neither serve for the writing
nor the tune.
BOY  
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
three ages since, but I think now ’tis not to be found;
or if it were, it would neither serve for the writing
nor the tune.
ARMADO  
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I
115
may example my digression by some mighty precedent.
Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in
the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves
well.
ARMADO  
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I
may example my digression by some mighty precedent.
Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in
the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves
well.
BOY, aside
To be whipped—and yet a better love than
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my master.
BOY, aside
To be whipped—and yet a better love than
my master.
ARMADO  
Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.
ARMADO  
Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.
BOY, aside
And that’s great marvel, loving a light
wench.
BOY, aside
And that’s great marvel, loving a light
wench.
ARMADO  
I say sing.
ARMADO  
I say sing.
BOY  
125
Forbear till this company be past.
BOY  
Forbear till this company be past.
Enter CLOWN (COSTARD,) CONSTABLE (DULL,) and WENCH (JAQUENETTA.)
Enter CLOWN (COSTARD,) CONSTABLE (DULL,) and WENCH (JAQUENETTA.)
DULL, to ARMADO
Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you
keep Costard safe, and you must suffer him to take
no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three
days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the
130
park. She is allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you
well.
DULL, to ARMADO
Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you
keep Costard safe, and you must suffer him to take
no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three
days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the
park. She is allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you
well.
ARMADO, aside
I do betray myself with blushing.—
   Maid.
ARMADO, aside
I do betray myself with blushing.—
   Maid.
JAQUENETTA  
Man.
JAQUENETTA  
Man.
ARMADO  
135
I will visit thee at the lodge.
ARMADO  
I will visit thee at the lodge.
JAQUENETTA  
That’s hereby.
JAQUENETTA  
That’s hereby.
ARMADO  
I know where it is situate.
ARMADO  
I know where it is situate.
JAQUENETTA  
Lord, how wise you are.
JAQUENETTA  
Lord, how wise you are.
ARMADO  
I will tell thee wonders.
ARMADO  
I will tell thee wonders.
JAQUENETTA  
140
With that face?
JAQUENETTA  
With that face?
ARMADO  
I love thee.
ARMADO  
I love thee.
JAQUENETTA  
So I heard you say.
JAQUENETTA  
So I heard you say.
ARMADO  
And so, farewell.
ARMADO  
And so, farewell.
JAQUENETTA  
Fair weather after you.
JAQUENETTA  
Fair weather after you.
DULL  
145
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
DULL  
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
DULL and JAQUENETTA exit.
DULL and JAQUENETTA exit.
ARMADO, to COSTARD
Villain, thou shalt fast for thy
offenses ere thou be pardoned.
ARMADO, to COSTARD
Villain, thou shalt fast for thy
offenses ere thou be pardoned.
COSTARD  
Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on
a full stomach.
COSTARD  
Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on
a full stomach.
ARMADO  
150
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
ARMADO  
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
COSTARD  
I am more bound to you than your fellows,
for they are but lightly rewarded.
COSTARD  
I am more bound to you than your fellows,
for they are but lightly rewarded.
ARMADO, to BOY
Take away this villain. Shut him up.
ARMADO, to BOY
Take away this villain. Shut him up.
BOY  
Come, you transgressing slave, away.
BOY  
Come, you transgressing slave, away.
COSTARD, to ARMADO
155
Let me not be pent up, sir. I will
fast being loose.
COSTARD, to ARMADO
Let me not be pent up, sir. I will
fast being loose.
BOY  
No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to
prison.
BOY  
No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to
prison.
COSTARD  
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of
160
desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
COSTARD  
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of
desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
BOY  
What shall some see?
BOY  
What shall some see?
COSTARD  
Nay, nothing, Master Mote, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say nothing. I thank
165
God I have as little patience as another man, and  therefore I can be quiet.
COSTARD  
Nay, nothing, Master Mote, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say nothing. I thank
God I have as little patience as another man, and  therefore I can be quiet.
COSTARD and BOY exit.
COSTARD and BOY exit.
ARMADO  
I do affect the very ground (which is base)
where her shoe (which is baser) guided by her foot
(which is basest) doth tread. I shall be forsworn
170
(which is a great argument of falsehood) if I love.
And how can that be true love which is falsely
attempted? Love is a familiar; love is a devil. There is
no evil angel but love, yet was Samson so tempted,
and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon
175
so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s
butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club, and therefore
too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first
and second cause will not serve my turn; the
passado he respects not, the duello he regards not.
180
His disgrace is to be called “boy,” but his glory is to
subdue men. Adieu, valor; rust, rapier; be still,
drum, for your manager is in love. Yea, he loveth.
Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am
sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise wit, write pen, for I
185
am for whole volumes in folio.
ARMADO  
I do love the very ground (which is lowly) where her shoe (which is even more lowly), guided by her foot (which is most lowly), walks. I will break my oath (which is great proof of dishonesty) if I love her. Can it be true love if it’s under false pretenses? Love is a personal demon; love is a devil. There is no evil angel but love. But Samson was tempted by it, and he had excellent strength. And Solomon was seduced by it, and he was very intelligent. Cupid’s arrow is stronger than Hercules’ club, so a Spaniard’s sword has little chance. The first and second rules of fighting will do me no good: Cupid doesn’t respect the

passado

Derived from Portuguese, Passado is a fencing move made to attack one’s opponent.

passado , and isn’t bothered by the

duello

A duello is Italian for “duel.”

duello . To his disgrace he is called “boy,” but he has the ability to conquer men. Goodbye, valor; grow rusty, sword; be silent, drum, for your boss is in love. Yes, he loves. Help me, some muse god of poetry, for I’m sure I will write a sonnet. Think brain, write pen, for I must write volumes of books.
He exits.
He exits.

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter ARMADO and MOTE, his page.
Enter ARMADO and MOTE, his page.
ARMADO  
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit
grows melancholy?
ARMADO  
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit
grows melancholy?
BOY  
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
BOY  
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
ARMADO  
Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing,
5
dear imp.
ARMADO  
Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing,
dear imp.
BOY  
No, no. O Lord, sir, no!
BOY  
No, no. O Lord, sir, no!
ARMADO  
How canst thou part sadness and melancholy,
my tender juvenal?
ARMADO  
How canst thou part sadness and melancholy,
my tender juvenal?
BOY  
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my
10
tough signior.
BOY  
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my
tough signior.
ARMADO  
Why “tough signior”? Why “tough signior”?
ARMADO  
Why “tough signior”? Why “tough signior”?
BOY  
Why “tender juvenal”? Why “tender juvenal”?
BOY  
Why “tender juvenal”? Why “tender juvenal”?
ARMADO  
I spoke it “tender juvenal” as a congruent
epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which
15
we may nominate “tender.”
ARMADO  
I spoke it “tender juvenal” as a congruent
epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which
we may nominate “tender.”
BOY  
And I “tough signior” as an appurtenant title to
your old time, which we may name “tough.”
BOY  
And I “tough signior” as an appurtenant title to
your old time, which we may name “tough.”
ARMADO  
Pretty and apt.
ARMADO  
Pretty and apt.
BOY  
How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or
20
I apt and my saying pretty?
BOY  
How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or
I apt and my saying pretty?
ARMADO  
Thou pretty because little.
ARMADO  
Thou pretty because little.
BOY  
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
BOY  
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
ARMADO  
And therefore apt, because quick.
ARMADO  
And therefore apt, because quick.
BOY  
Speak you this in my praise, master?
BOY  
Speak you this in my praise, master?
ARMADO  
25
In thy condign praise.
ARMADO  
In thy condign praise.
BOY  
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
BOY  
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
ARMADO  
What, that an eel is ingenious?
ARMADO  
What, that an eel is ingenious?
BOY  
That an eel is quick.
BOY  
That an eel is quick.
ARMADO  
I do say thou art quick in answers. Thou
30
heat’st my blood.
ARMADO  
I do say thou art quick in answers. Thou
heat’st my blood.
BOY  
I am answered, sir.
BOY  
I am answered, sir.
ARMADO  
I love not to be crossed.
ARMADO  
I love not to be crossed.
BOY , aside
He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love
not him.
BOY , aside
He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love
not him.
ARMADO  
35
I have promised to study three years with the
Duke.
ARMADO  
I have promised to study three years with the
Duke.
BOY  
You may do it in an hour, sir.
BOY  
You may do it in an hour, sir.
ARMADO  
Impossible.
ARMADO  
Impossible.
BOY  
How many is one thrice told?
BOY  
How many is one thrice told?
ARMADO  
40
I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a
tapster.
ARMADO  
I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a
tapster.
BOY  
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
BOY  
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
ARMADO  
I confess both. They are both the varnish of a
complete man.
ARMADO  
I confess both. They are both the varnish of a
complete man.
BOY  
45
Then I am sure you know how much the gross
sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
BOY  
Then I am sure you know how much the gross
sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
ARMADO  
It doth amount to one more than two.
ARMADO  
It doth amount to one more than two.
BOY  
Which the base vulgar do call “three.”
BOY  
Which the base vulgar do call “three.”
ARMADO  
True.
ARMADO  
True.
BOY  
50
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is
“three” studied ere you’ll thrice wink. And how
easy it is to put “years” to the word “three” and
study “three years” in two words, the dancing horse
will tell you.
BOY  
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is
“three” studied ere you’ll thrice wink. And how
easy it is to put “years” to the word “three” and
study “three years” in two words, the dancing horse
will tell you.
ARMADO
55
A most fine figure.
ARMADO
A most fine figure.
BOY, aside
To prove you a cipher.
BOY, aside
To prove you a cipher.
ARMADO  
I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it
is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
base wench. If drawing my sword against the
60
humor of affection would deliver me from the
reprobate thought of it, I would take desire prisoner
and ransom him to any French courtier for a
new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks
I should outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy. What
65
great men have been in love?
ARMADO  
I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it
is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
base wench. If drawing my sword against the
humor of affection would deliver me from the
reprobate thought of it, I would take desire prisoner
and ransom him to any French courtier for a
new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks
I should outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy. What
great men have been in love?
BOY  
Hercules, master.
BOY  
Hercules, master.
ARMADO  
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear
boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be
men of good repute and carriage.
ARMADO  
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear
boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be
men of good repute and carriage.
BOY  
70
Samson, master; he was a man of good carriage,
great carriage, for he carried the town gates on his
back like a porter, and he was in love.
BOY  
Samson, master; he was a man of good carriage,
great carriage, for he carried the town gates on his
back like a porter, and he was in love.
ARMADO  
O, well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson;
I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst
75
me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was
Samson’s love, my dear Mote?
ARMADO  
O, well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson;
I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst
me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was
Samson’s love, my dear Mote?
BOY  
A woman, master.
BOY  
A woman, master.
ARMADO  
Of what complexion?
ARMADO  
Of what complexion?
BOY  
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of
80
the four.
BOY  
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of
the four.
ARMADO  
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
ARMADO  
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
BOY  
Of the sea-water green, sir.
BOY  
Of the sea-water green, sir.
ARMADO  
Is that one of the four complexions?
ARMADO  
Is that one of the four complexions?
BOY  
As I have read, sir, and the best of them too.
BOY  
As I have read, sir, and the best of them too.
ARMADO  
85
Green indeed is the color of lovers. But to
have a love of that color, methinks Samson had
small reason for it. He surely affected her for her
wit.
ARMADO  
Green indeed is the color of lovers. But to
have a love of that color, methinks Samson had
small reason for it. He surely affected her for her
wit.
BOY  
It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.
BOY  
It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.
ARMADO  
90
My love is most immaculate white and red.
ARMADO  
My love is most immaculate white and red.
BOY  
Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked
under such colors.
BOY  
Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked
under such colors.
ARMADO  
Define, define, well-educated infant.
ARMADO  
Define, define, well-educated infant.
BOY  
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist
95
me.
BOY  
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist
me.
ARMADO  
Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty and
pathetical.
ARMADO  
Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty and
pathetical.
BOY  
If she be made of white and red,
   Her faults will ne’er be known,
100
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
   And fears by pale white shown.
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
   By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
  
105
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
white and red.
BOY  
If she be made of white and red,
   Her faults will ne’er be known,
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
   And fears by pale white shown.
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
   By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
  
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
white and red.
ARMADO  
Is there not a ballad, boy, of “The King and
the Beggar”?
ARMADO  
Is there not a ballad, boy, of “The King and
the Beggar”?
BOY  
110
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
three ages since, but I think now ’tis not to be found;
or if it were, it would neither serve for the writing
nor the tune.
BOY  
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
three ages since, but I think now ’tis not to be found;
or if it were, it would neither serve for the writing
nor the tune.
ARMADO  
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I
115
may example my digression by some mighty precedent.
Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in
the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves
well.
ARMADO  
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I
may example my digression by some mighty precedent.
Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in
the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves
well.
BOY, aside
To be whipped—and yet a better love than
120
my master.
BOY, aside
To be whipped—and yet a better love than
my master.
ARMADO  
Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.
ARMADO  
Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.
BOY, aside
And that’s great marvel, loving a light
wench.
BOY, aside
And that’s great marvel, loving a light
wench.
ARMADO  
I say sing.
ARMADO  
I say sing.
BOY  
125
Forbear till this company be past.
BOY  
Forbear till this company be past.
Enter CLOWN (COSTARD,) CONSTABLE (DULL,) and WENCH (JAQUENETTA.)
Enter CLOWN (COSTARD,) CONSTABLE (DULL,) and WENCH (JAQUENETTA.)
DULL, to ARMADO
Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you
keep Costard safe, and you must suffer him to take
no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three
days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the
130
park. She is allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you
well.
DULL, to ARMADO
Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you
keep Costard safe, and you must suffer him to take
no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three
days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the
park. She is allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you
well.
ARMADO, aside
I do betray myself with blushing.—
   Maid.
ARMADO, aside
I do betray myself with blushing.—
   Maid.
JAQUENETTA  
Man.
JAQUENETTA  
Man.
ARMADO  
135
I will visit thee at the lodge.
ARMADO  
I will visit thee at the lodge.
JAQUENETTA  
That’s hereby.
JAQUENETTA  
That’s hereby.
ARMADO  
I know where it is situate.
ARMADO  
I know where it is situate.
JAQUENETTA  
Lord, how wise you are.
JAQUENETTA  
Lord, how wise you are.
ARMADO  
I will tell thee wonders.
ARMADO  
I will tell thee wonders.
JAQUENETTA  
140
With that face?
JAQUENETTA  
With that face?
ARMADO  
I love thee.
ARMADO  
I love thee.
JAQUENETTA  
So I heard you say.
JAQUENETTA  
So I heard you say.
ARMADO  
And so, farewell.
ARMADO  
And so, farewell.
JAQUENETTA  
Fair weather after you.
JAQUENETTA  
Fair weather after you.
DULL  
145
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
DULL  
Come, Jaquenetta, away.
DULL and JAQUENETTA exit.
DULL and JAQUENETTA exit.
ARMADO, to COSTARD
Villain, thou shalt fast for thy
offenses ere thou be pardoned.
ARMADO, to COSTARD
Villain, thou shalt fast for thy
offenses ere thou be pardoned.
COSTARD  
Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on
a full stomach.
COSTARD  
Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on
a full stomach.
ARMADO  
150
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
ARMADO  
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
COSTARD  
I am more bound to you than your fellows,
for they are but lightly rewarded.
COSTARD  
I am more bound to you than your fellows,
for they are but lightly rewarded.
ARMADO, to BOY
Take away this villain. Shut him up.
ARMADO, to BOY
Take away this villain. Shut him up.
BOY  
Come, you transgressing slave, away.
BOY  
Come, you transgressing slave, away.
COSTARD, to ARMADO
155
Let me not be pent up, sir. I will
fast being loose.
COSTARD, to ARMADO
Let me not be pent up, sir. I will
fast being loose.
BOY  
No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to
prison.
BOY  
No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to
prison.
COSTARD  
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of
160
desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
COSTARD  
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of
desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
BOY  
What shall some see?
BOY  
What shall some see?
COSTARD  
Nay, nothing, Master Mote, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say nothing. I thank
165
God I have as little patience as another man, and  therefore I can be quiet.
COSTARD  
Nay, nothing, Master Mote, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say nothing. I thank
God I have as little patience as another man, and  therefore I can be quiet.
COSTARD and BOY exit.
COSTARD and BOY exit.
ARMADO  
I do affect the very ground (which is base)
where her shoe (which is baser) guided by her foot
(which is basest) doth tread. I shall be forsworn
170
(which is a great argument of falsehood) if I love.
And how can that be true love which is falsely
attempted? Love is a familiar; love is a devil. There is
no evil angel but love, yet was Samson so tempted,
and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon
175
so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s
butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club, and therefore
too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first
and second cause will not serve my turn; the
passado he respects not, the duello he regards not.
180
His disgrace is to be called “boy,” but his glory is to
subdue men. Adieu, valor; rust, rapier; be still,
drum, for your manager is in love. Yea, he loveth.
Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am
sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise wit, write pen, for I
185
am for whole volumes in folio.
ARMADO  
I do love the very ground (which is lowly) where her shoe (which is even more lowly), guided by her foot (which is most lowly), walks. I will break my oath (which is great proof of dishonesty) if I love her. Can it be true love if it’s under false pretenses? Love is a personal demon; love is a devil. There is no evil angel but love. But Samson was tempted by it, and he had excellent strength. And Solomon was seduced by it, and he was very intelligent. Cupid’s arrow is stronger than Hercules’ club, so a Spaniard’s sword has little chance. The first and second rules of fighting will do me no good: Cupid doesn’t respect the

passado

Derived from Portuguese, Passado is a fencing move made to attack one’s opponent.

passado , and isn’t bothered by the

duello

A duello is Italian for “duel.”

duello . To his disgrace he is called “boy,” but he has the ability to conquer men. Goodbye, valor; grow rusty, sword; be silent, drum, for your boss is in love. Yes, he loves. Help me, some muse god of poetry, for I’m sure I will write a sonnet. Think brain, write pen, for I must write volumes of books.
He exits.
He exits.
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