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Enter the Ladies (the PRINCESS, ROSALINE,
KATHERINE , and MARIA.)
Enter the Ladies (the PRINCESS, ROSALINE,
KATHERINE , and MARIA.)
PRINCESS  
Sweethearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in.
A lady walled about with diamonds!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
PRINCESS  
Sweethearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in.
A lady walled about with diamonds!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
She shows a jewel.
She shows a jewel.
ROSALINE  
5
Madam, came nothing else along with that?
ROSALINE  
Madam, came nothing else along with that?
PRINCESS  
Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper
Writ o’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.
PRINCESS  
Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper
Writ o’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.
ROSALINE  
10
That was the way to make his godhead wax,
For he hath been five thousand year a boy.
ROSALINE  
That was the way to make his godhead wax,
For he hath been five thousand year a boy.
KATHERINE  
Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows, too.
KATHERINE  
Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows, too.
ROSALINE  
You’ll ne’er be friends with him. He killed your
sister.
ROSALINE  
You’ll ne’er be friends with him. He killed your
sister.
KATHERINE  
15
He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy,
And so she died. Had she been light like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha’ been a grandam ere she died.
And so may you, for a light heart lives long.
KATHERINE  
He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy,
And so she died. Had she been light like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha’ been a grandam ere she died.
And so may you, for a light heart lives long.
ROSALINE  
20
What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light
word?
ROSALINE  
What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light
word?
KATHERINE  
A light condition in a beauty dark.
KATHERINE  
A light condition in a beauty dark.
ROSALINE  
We need more light to find your meaning out.
ROSALINE  
We need more light to find your meaning out.
KATHERINE  
You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
25
Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.
KATHERINE  
You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.
ROSALINE  
Look what you do, you do it still i’ th’ dark.
ROSALINE  
Look what you do, you do it still i’ th’ dark.
KATHERINE  
So do not you, for you are a light wench.
KATHERINE  
So do not you, for you are a light wench.
ROSALINE  
Indeed, I weigh not you, and therefore light.
ROSALINE  
Indeed, I weigh not you, and therefore light.
KATHERINE  
You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.
KATHERINE  
You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.
ROSALINE  
30
Great reason: for past care is still past cure.
ROSALINE  
Great reason: for past care is still past cure.
PRINCESS  
Well bandied both; a set of wit well played.
But, Rosaline, you have a favor too.
Who sent it? And what is it?
PRINCESS  
Well bandied both; a set of wit well played.
But, Rosaline, you have a favor too.
Who sent it? And what is it?
ROSALINE  
I would you knew.
35
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favor were as great. Be witness this.
   She shows a gift.
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;
The numbers true; and were the numb’ring too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
40
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter.
ROSALINE  
I would you knew.
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favor were as great. Be witness this.
   She shows a gift.
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;
The numbers true; and were the numb’ring too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter.
PRINCESS  
Anything like?
PRINCESS  
Anything like?
ROSALINE  
Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
ROSALINE  
Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
PRINCESS  
Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.
PRINCESS  
Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.
KATHERINE  
45
Fair as a text B in a copybook.
KATHERINE  
Fair as a text B in a copybook.
ROSALINE  
Ware pencils, ho! Let me not die your debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter.
O, that your face were not so full of O’s!
ROSALINE  
Ware pencils, ho! Let me not die your debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter.
O, that your face were not so full of O’s!
PRINCESS  
A pox of that jest! And I beshrew all shrows.
50
But, Katherine, what was sent to you
From fair Dumaine?
PRINCESS  
A pox of that jest! And I beshrew all shrows.
But, Katherine, what was sent to you
From fair Dumaine?
KATHERINE  
Madam, this glove.
KATHERINE  
Madam, this glove.
She shows the glove.
She shows the glove.
PRINCESS  
Did he not send you twain?
PRINCESS  
Did he not send you twain?
KATHERINE  
Yes, madam, and moreover,
55
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
KATHERINE  
Yes, madam, and moreover,
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
MARIA  
This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville.
   She shows a paper and pearls.
The letter is too long by half a mile.
MARIA  
This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville.
   She shows a paper and pearls.
The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESS  
60
I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
PRINCESS  
I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
MARIA  
Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
MARIA  
Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
PRINCESS  
We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
PRINCESS  
We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
ROSALINE  
They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
65
That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.
O, that I knew he were but in by th’ week,
How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,
And wait the season, and observe the times,
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,
70
And shape his service wholly to my hests,
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state,
That he should be my fool, and I his fate.
ROSALINE  
They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.
O, that I knew he were but in by th’ week,
How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,
And wait the season, and observe the times,
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,
And shape his service wholly to my hests,
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state,
That he should be my fool, and I his fate.
PRINCESS  
None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
75
As wit turned fool. Folly in wisdom hatched
Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school,
And wit’s own grace to grace a learnèd fool.
PRINCESS  
None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
As wit turned fool. Folly in wisdom hatched
Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school,
And wit’s own grace to grace a learnèd fool.
ROSALINE  
The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.
ROSALINE  
The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.
MARIA  
80
Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
As fool’ry in the wise, when wit doth dote,
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
MARIA  
Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
As fool’ry in the wise, when wit doth dote,
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
Enter BOYET.
Enter BOYET.
PRINCESS  
Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
PRINCESS  
Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
BOYET  
85
O, I am stabbed with laughter. Where’s her Grace?
BOYET  
O, I am stabbed with laughter. Where’s her Grace?
PRINCESS  
Thy news, Boyet?
PRINCESS  
Thy news, Boyet?
BOYET  
Prepare, madam, prepare.
Arm, wenches, arm. Encounters mounted are
Against your peace. Love doth approach, disguised,
90
Armèd in arguments. You’ll be surprised.
Muster your wits, stand in your own defense,
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
BOYET  
Prepare, madam, prepare.
Arm, wenches, arm. Encounters mounted are
Against your peace. Love doth approach, disguised,
Armèd in arguments. You’ll be surprised.
Muster your wits, stand in your own defense,
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
PRINCESS  
Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.
PRINCESS  
Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.
BOYET  
95
Under the cool shade of a sycamore,
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour.
When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addressed
The King and his companions. Warily
100
I stole into a neighbor thicket by,
And overheard what you shall overhear:
That, by and by, disguised, they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page
That well by heart hath conned his embassage.
105
Action and accent did they teach him there:
“Thus must thou speak,” and “thus thy body bear.”
And ever and anon they made a doubt
Presence majestical would put him out;
“For,” quoth the King, “an angel shalt thou see;
110
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.”
The boy replied “An angel is not evil.
I should have feared her had she been a devil.”
With that, all laughed and clapped him on the
   shoulder,
115
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore
A better speech was never spoke before.
Another with his finger and his thumb,
Cried “Via! We will do ’t, come what will come.”
120
The third he capered and cried “All goes well!”
The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground
With such a zealous laughter so profound
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
125
To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.
BOYET  
Under the cool shade of a sycamore,
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour.
When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addressed
The King and his companions. Warily
I stole into a neighbor thicket by,
And overheard what you shall overhear:
That, by and by, disguised, they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page
That well by heart hath conned his embassage.
Action and accent did they teach him there:
“Thus must thou speak,” and “thus thy body bear.”
And ever and anon they made a doubt
Presence majestical would put him out;
“For,” quoth the King, “an angel shalt thou see;
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.”
The boy replied “An angel is not evil.
I should have feared her had she been a devil.”
With that, all laughed and clapped him on the
   shoulder,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore
A better speech was never spoke before.
Another with his finger and his thumb,
Cried “Via! We will do ’t, come what will come.”
The third he capered and cried “All goes well!”
The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground
With such a zealous laughter so profound
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.
PRINCESS  
But what, but what? Come they to visit us?
PRINCESS  
But what, but what? Come they to visit us?
BOYET  
They do, they do; and are appareled thus,
Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is to parley, to court, and dance,
130
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress—which they’ll know
By favors several which they did bestow.
BOYET  
They do, they do; and are appareled thus,
Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is to parley, to court, and dance,
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress—which they’ll know
By favors several which they did bestow.
PRINCESS  
And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked,
For, ladies, we will every one be masked,
135
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favor thou shalt wear,
And then the King will court thee for his dear.
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine.
140
So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
PRINCESS  
And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked,
For, ladies, we will every one be masked,
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favor thou shalt wear,
And then the King will court thee for his dear.
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine.
So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
PRINCESS and ROSALINE exchange favors.
PRINCESS and ROSALINE exchange favors.
And change you favors too. So shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
And change you favors too. So shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
KATHERINE and MARIA exchange favors.
KATHERINE and MARIA exchange favors.
ROSALINE  
Come on, then, wear the favors most in sight.
 
ROSALINE  
Come on, then, wear the favors most in sight.
 
KATHERINE, to PRINCESS
But in this changing, what is your intent?
KATHERINE, to PRINCESS
But in this changing, what is your intent?
PRINCESS  
145
The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.
They do it but in mockery merriment,
And mock for mock is only my intent.
Their several counsels they unbosom shall
To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal
150
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
PRINCESS  
The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.
They do it but in mockery merriment,
And mock for mock is only my intent.
Their several counsels they unbosom shall
To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
ROSALINE  
But shall we dance, if they desire us to ’t?
ROSALINE  
But shall we dance, if they desire us to ’t?
PRINCESS  
No, to the death we will not move a foot,
Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,
155
But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.
PRINCESS  
No, to the death we will not move a foot,
Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,
But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.
BOYET  
Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
BOYET  
Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
PRINCESS  
Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt
The rest will ne’er come in if he be out.
160
There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own.
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.
PRINCESS  
Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt
The rest will ne’er come in if he be out.
There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own.
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.
Sound trumpet, within.
Sound trumpet, within.
BOYET  
The trumpet sounds. Be masked; the maskers come.
BOYET  
The trumpet sounds. Be masked; the maskers come.
The Ladies mask.
Enter Blackamoors with music, the BOY with a speech, the KING, BEROWNE, and the rest of the Lords disguised.
The Ladies mask.
Enter Blackamoors with music, the BOY with a speech, the KING, BEROWNE, and the rest of the Lords disguised.
BOY  
165
All hail, the richest beauties on the Earth!
BOY  
All hail, the richest beauties on the Earth!
BOYET  
Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
BOYET  
Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
BOY  
A holy parcel of the fairest dames
   (The Ladies turn their backs to him.)
That ever turned their—backs—to mortal views.
BOY  
A holy parcel of the fairest dames
   (The Ladies turn their backs to him.)
That ever turned their—backs—to mortal views.
BEROWNE  
Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
BEROWNE  
Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
BOY  
170
That ever turned their eyes to mortal views.
Out—
BOY  
That ever turned their eyes to mortal views.
Out—
BOYET  
True; out indeed.
BOYET  
True; out indeed.
BOY  
Out of your favors, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold—
BOY  
Out of your favors, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold—
BEROWNE  
175
Once to behold, rogue!
BEROWNE  
Once to behold, rogue!
BOY  
Once to behold with your sun-beamèd eyes—
With your sun-beamèd eyes—
BOY  
Once to behold with your sun-beamèd eyes—
With your sun-beamèd eyes—
BOYET  
They will not answer to that epithet.
You were best call it “daughter-beamèd eyes.”
BOYET  
They will not answer to that epithet.
You were best call it “daughter-beamèd eyes.”
BOY  
180
They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
BOY  
They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
BEROWNE  
Is this your perfectness? Begone, you rogue!
BEROWNE  
Is this your perfectness? Begone, you rogue!
BOY exits.
BOY exits.
ROSALINE, speaking as the PRINCESS
What would these strangers? Know their minds,
Boyet.
If they do speak our language, ’tis our will
185
That some plain man recount their purposes.
Know what they would.
ROSALINE, speaking as the PRINCESS
What would these strangers? Know their minds,
Boyet.
If they do speak our language, ’tis our will
That some plain man recount their purposes.
Know what they would.
BOYET  
What would you with the
   Princess?
BOYET  
What would you with the
   Princess?
BEROWNE  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
BEROWNE  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE  
190
What would they, say they?
ROSALINE  
What would they, say they?
BOYET  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
BOYET  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE  
Why, that they have, and bid them so be gone.
ROSALINE  
Why, that they have, and bid them so be gone.
BOYET  
She says you have it, and you may be gone.
BOYET  
She says you have it, and you may be gone.
KING  
Say to her we have measured many miles
195
To tread a measure with her on this grass.
KING  
Say to her we have measured many miles
To tread a measure with her on this grass.
BOYET  
They say that they have measured many a mile
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
BOYET  
They say that they have measured many a mile
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
ROSALINE  
It is not so. Ask them how many inches
Is in one mile. If they have measured many,
200
The measure then of one is eas’ly told.
ROSALINE  
It is not so. Ask them how many inches
Is in one mile. If they have measured many,
The measure then of one is eas’ly told.
BOYET  
If to come hither you have measured miles,
And many miles, the Princess bids you tell
How many inches doth fill up one mile.
BOYET  
If to come hither you have measured miles,
And many miles, the Princess bids you tell
How many inches doth fill up one mile.
BEROWNE  
Tell her we measure them by weary steps.
BEROWNE  
Tell her we measure them by weary steps.
BOYET  
She hears herself.
BOYET  
She hears herself.
ROSALINE  
205
How many weary steps
Of many weary miles you have o’ergone
Are numbered in the travel of one mile?
ROSALINE  
How many weary steps
Of many weary miles you have o’ergone
Are numbered in the travel of one mile?
BEROWNE  
We number nothing that we spend for you.
210
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without account.
Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face
That we, like savages, may worship it.
BEROWNE  
We number nothing that we spend for you.
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without account.
Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face
That we, like savages, may worship it.
ROSALINE  
My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
ROSALINE  
My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
KING  
215
Blessèd are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to
   shine,
Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
KING  
Blessèd are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to
   shine,
Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
ROSALINE  
O vain petitioner, beg a greater matter!
220
Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.
ROSALINE  
O vain petitioner, beg a greater matter!
Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.
KING  
Then in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
Thou bidd’st me beg; this begging is not strange.
KING  
Then in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
Thou bidd’st me beg; this begging is not strange.
ROSALINE  
Play music, then. Nay, you must do it soon.
   Music begins.
Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.
ROSALINE  
Play music, then. Nay, you must do it soon.
   Music begins.
Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.
KING  
225
Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
KING  
Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
ROSALINE  
You took the moon at full, but now she’s changed.
ROSALINE  
You took the moon at full, but now she’s changed.
KING  
Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
The music plays. Vouchsafe some motion to it.
KING  
Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
The music plays. Vouchsafe some motion to it.
ROSALINE  
Our ears vouchsafe it.
ROSALINE  
Our ears vouchsafe it.
KING  
230
But your legs should do it.
KING  
But your legs should do it.
ROSALINE  
Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
We’ll not be nice. Take hands. We will not dance.
ROSALINE  
Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
We’ll not be nice. Take hands. We will not dance.
She offers her hand.
She offers her hand.
KING  
Why take we hands then?
KING  
Why take we hands then?
ROSALINE  
Only to part friends.—
235
Curtsy, sweethearts—and so the measure ends.
ROSALINE  
Only to part friends.—
Curtsy, sweethearts—and so the measure ends.
KING  
More measure of this measure! Be not nice.
KING  
More measure of this measure! Be not nice.
ROSALINE  
We can afford no more at such a price.
ROSALINE  
We can afford no more at such a price.
KING  
Prize you yourselves. What buys your company?
KING  
Prize you yourselves. What buys your company?
ROSALINE  
Your absence only.
ROSALINE  
Your absence only.
KING  
240
That can never be.
KING  
That can never be.
ROSALINE  
Then cannot we be bought. And so adieu—
Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
ROSALINE  
Then cannot we be bought. And so adieu—
Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
KING  
If you deny to dance, let’s hold more chat.
KING  
If you deny to dance, let’s hold more chat.
ROSALINE  
In private, then.
ROSALINE  
In private, then.
KING  
245
I am best pleased with that.
KING  
I am best pleased with that.
They move aside.
They move aside.
BEROWNE, to the PRINCESS
White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
BEROWNE, to the PRINCESS
White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
PRINCESS, speaking as ROSALINE
Honey, and milk, and sugar—there is three.
PRINCESS, speaking as ROSALINE
Honey, and milk, and sugar—there is three.
BEROWNE  
Nay then, two treys, an if you grow so nice,
Metheglin, wort, and malmsey. Well run, dice!
250
There’s half a dozen sweets.
BEROWNE  
Nay then, two treys, an if you grow so nice,
Metheglin, wort, and malmsey. Well run, dice!
There’s half a dozen sweets.
PRINCESS  
Seventh sweet, adieu.
Since you can cog, I’ll play no more with you.
PRINCESS  
Seventh sweet, adieu.
Since you can cog, I’ll play no more with you.
BEROWNE  
One word in secret.
BEROWNE  
One word in secret.
PRINCESS  
Let it not be sweet.
PRINCESS  
Let it not be sweet.
BEROWNE  
255
Thou grievest my gall.
BEROWNE  
Thou grievest my gall.
PRINCESS  
Gall! Bitter.
PRINCESS  
Gall! Bitter.
BEROWNE  
Therefore meet.
BEROWNE  
Therefore meet.
They move aside.
They move aside.
DUMAINE, to MARIA
Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
DUMAINE, to MARIA
Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
MARIA, speaking as KATHERINE
Name it.
MARIA, speaking as KATHERINE
Name it.
DUMAINE  
260
Fair lady—
DUMAINE  
Fair lady—
MARIA  
Say you so? Fair lord!
Take that for your “fair lady.”
 
MARIA  
Say you so? Fair lord!
Take that for your “fair lady.”
 
DUMAINE  
Please it you
As much in private, and I’ll bid adieu.
DUMAINE  
Please it you
As much in private, and I’ll bid adieu.
They move aside.
They move aside.
KATHERINE, speaking as MARIA
265
What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
KATHERINE, speaking as MARIA
What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
LONGAVILLE  
I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
LONGAVILLE  
I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
KATHERINE  
O, for your reason! Quickly, sir, I long.
KATHERINE  
O, for your reason! Quickly, sir, I long.
LONGAVILLE  
You have a double tongue within your mask,
And would afford my speechless vizard half.
LONGAVILLE  
You have a double tongue within your mask,
And would afford my speechless vizard half.
KATHERINE  
270
Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not veal a calf?
KATHERINE  
Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not veal a calf?
LONGAVILLE  
A calf, fair lady?
LONGAVILLE  
A calf, fair lady?
KATHERINE  
No, a fair Lord Calf.
KATHERINE  
No, a fair Lord Calf.
LONGAVILLE  
Let’s part the word.
LONGAVILLE  
Let’s part the word.
KATHERINE  
No, I’ll not be your half.
275
Take all and wean it. It may prove an ox.
KATHERINE  
No, I’ll not be your half.
Take all and wean it. It may prove an ox.
LONGAVILLE  
Look how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks.
Will you give horns, chaste lady? Do not so.
LONGAVILLE  
Look how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks.
Will you give horns, chaste lady? Do not so.
KATHERINE  
Then die a calf before your horns do grow.
KATHERINE  
Then die a calf before your horns do grow.
LONGAVILLE  
One word in private with you ere I die.
LONGAVILLE  
One word in private with you ere I die.
KATHERINE  
280
Bleat softly, then. The butcher hears you cry.
KATHERINE  
Bleat softly, then. The butcher hears you cry.
They move aside.
They move aside.
BOYET  
The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor’s edge invisible,
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen;
Above the sense of sense, so sensible
285
Seemeth their conference. Their conceits have
   wings
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter
   things.
BOYET  
The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor’s edge invisible,
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen;
Above the sense of sense, so sensible
Seemeth their conference. Their conceits have
   wings
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter
   things.
ROSALINE  
Not one word more, my maids. Break off, break off!
ROSALINE  
Not one word more, my maids. Break off, break off!
The Ladies move away from the Lords.
The Ladies move away from the Lords.
BEROWNE  
290
By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
BEROWNE  
By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
KING  
Farewell, mad wenches. You have simple wits.
KING  
Farewell, mad wenches. You have simple wits.
KING, Lords, and Blackamoors exit.
The Ladies unmask.
KING, Lords, and Blackamoors exit.
The Ladies unmask.
PRINCESS  
Twenty adieus, my frozen Muskovits.—
Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?
PRINCESS  
Twenty adieus, my frozen Muskovits.—
Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?
BOYET  
Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puffed
295
out.
BOYET  
Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puffed
out.
ROSALINE  
Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
ROSALINE  
Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
PRINCESS  
O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
Or ever but in vizards show their faces?
300
This pert Berowne was out of count’nance quite.
PRINCESS  
O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
Or ever but in vizards show their faces?
This pert Berowne was out of count’nance quite.
ROSALINE  
They were all in lamentable cases.
The King was weeping ripe for a good word.
ROSALINE  
They were all in lamentable cases.
The King was weeping ripe for a good word.
PRINCESS  
Berowne did swear himself out of all suit.
PRINCESS  
Berowne did swear himself out of all suit.
MARIA  
Dumaine was at my service, and his sword.
305
“No point,” quoth I. My servant straight was
mute.
MARIA  
Dumaine was at my service, and his sword.
“No point,” quoth I. My servant straight was
mute.
KATHERINE  
Lord Longaville said I came o’er his heart.
And trow you what he called me?
KATHERINE  
Lord Longaville said I came o’er his heart.
And trow you what he called me?
PRINCESS  
Qualm, perhaps.
PRINCESS  
Qualm, perhaps.
KATHERINE  
310
Yes, in good faith.
KATHERINE  
Yes, in good faith.
PRINCESS  
Go, sickness as thou art!
PRINCESS  
Go, sickness as thou art!
ROSALINE  
Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
But will you hear? The King is my love sworn.
ROSALINE  
Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
But will you hear? The King is my love sworn.
PRINCESS  
And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.
PRINCESS  
And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.
KATHERINE  
315
And Longaville was for my service born.
KATHERINE  
And Longaville was for my service born.
MARIA  
Dumaine is mine as sure as bark on tree.
MARIA  
Dumaine is mine as sure as bark on tree.
BOYET  
Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear.
Immediately they will again be here
In their own shapes, for it can never be
320
They will digest this harsh indignity.
BOYET  
Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear.
Immediately they will again be here
In their own shapes, for it can never be
They will digest this harsh indignity.
PRINCESS  
Will they return?
PRINCESS  
Will they return?
BOYET  
They will, they will, God knows,
And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows.
Therefore change favors, and when they repair,
325
Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
BOYET  
They will, they will, God knows,
And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows.
Therefore change favors, and when they repair,
Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
PRINCESS  
How “blow”? How “blow”? Speak to be understood.
PRINCESS  
How “blow”? How “blow”? Speak to be understood.
BOYET  
Fair ladies masked are roses in their bud.
Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shown,
Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
BOYET  
Fair ladies masked are roses in their bud.
Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shown,
Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
PRINCESS  
330
Avaunt, perplexity!—What shall we do
If they return in their own shapes to woo?
PRINCESS  
Avaunt, perplexity!—What shall we do
If they return in their own shapes to woo?
ROSALINE  
Good madam, if by me you’ll be advised,
Let’s mock them still, as well known as disguised.
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
335
Disguised like Muscovites in shapeless gear,
And wonder what they were, and to what end
Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penned,
And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
Should be presented at our tent to us.
ROSALINE  
Good madam, if by me you’ll be advised,
Let’s mock them still, as well known as disguised.
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
Disguised like Muscovites in shapeless gear,
And wonder what they were, and to what end
Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penned,
And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
Should be presented at our tent to us.
BOYET  
340
Ladies, withdraw. The gallants are at hand.
BOYET  
Ladies, withdraw. The gallants are at hand.
PRINCESS  
Whip to our tents, as roes runs o’er land.
PRINCESS  
Whip to our tents, as roes runs o’er land.
The PRINCESS and the Ladies exit.
The PRINCESS and the Ladies exit.
Enter the KING and the rest, as themselves.
Enter the KING and the rest, as themselves.
KING, to BOYET
Fair sir, God save you. Where’s the Princess?
KING, to BOYET
Fair sir, God save you. Where’s the Princess?
BOYET  
Gone to her tent. Please it your Majesty
Command me any service to her thither?
BOYET  
Gone to her tent. Please it your Majesty
Command me any service to her thither?
KING  
345
That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
KING  
That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
BOYET  
I will, and so will she, I know, my lord.
BOYET  
I will, and so will she, I know, my lord.
He exits.
He exits.
BEROWNE  
This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons peas,
And utters it again when God doth please.
He is wit’s peddler, and retails his wares
350
At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs.
And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve.
Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve.
355
He can carve too, and lisp. Why, this is he
That kissed his hand away in courtesy.
This is the ape of form, Monsieur the Nice,
That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
In honorable terms. Nay, he can sing
360
A mean most meanly; and in ushering
Mend him who can. The ladies call him sweet.
The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet.
This is the flower that smiles on everyone
To show his teeth as white as whale’s bone;
365
And consciences that will not die in debt
Pay him the due of “honey-tongued Boyet.”
BEROWNE  
This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons peas,
And utters it again when God doth please.
He is wit’s peddler, and retails his wares
At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs.
And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve.
Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve.
He can carve too, and lisp. Why, this is he
That kissed his hand away in courtesy.
This is the ape of form, Monsieur the Nice,
That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
In honorable terms. Nay, he can sing
A mean most meanly; and in ushering
Mend him who can. The ladies call him sweet.
The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet.
This is the flower that smiles on everyone
To show his teeth as white as whale’s bone;
And consciences that will not die in debt
Pay him the due of “honey-tongued Boyet.”
KING  
A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
That put Armado’s page out of his part!
KING  
A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
That put Armado’s page out of his part!
Enter the Ladies, with BOYET.
Enter the Ladies, with BOYET.
BEROWNE  
See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
370
Till this madman showed thee? And what art thou
now?
BEROWNE  
See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
Till this madman showed thee? And what art thou
now?
KING, to PRINCESS
All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day.
KING, to PRINCESS
All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day.
PRINCESS  
“Fair” in “all hail” is foul, as I conceive.
PRINCESS  
“Fair” in “all hail” is foul, as I conceive.
KING  
Construe my speeches better, if you may.
KING  
Construe my speeches better, if you may.
PRINCESS  
375
Then wish me better. I will give you leave.
PRINCESS  
Then wish me better. I will give you leave.
KING  
We came to visit you, and purpose now
To lead you to our court. Vouchsafe it, then.
KING  
We came to visit you, and purpose now
To lead you to our court. Vouchsafe it, then.
PRINCESS  
This field shall hold me, and so hold your vow.
Nor God nor I delights in perjured men.
PRINCESS  
This field shall hold me, and so hold your vow.
Nor God nor I delights in perjured men.
KING  
380
Rebuke me not for that which you provoke.
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
KING  
Rebuke me not for that which you provoke.
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
PRINCESS  
You nickname virtue; “vice” you should have spoke,
For virtue’s office never breaks men’s troth.
Now by my maiden honor, yet as pure
385
As the unsullied lily, I protest,
A world of torments though I should endure,
I would not yield to be your house’s guest,
So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Of heavenly oaths vowed with integrity.
PRINCESS  
You nickname virtue; “vice” you should have spoke,
For virtue’s office never breaks men’s troth.
Now by my maiden honor, yet as pure
As the unsullied lily, I protest,
A world of torments though I should endure,
I would not yield to be your house’s guest,
So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Of heavenly oaths vowed with integrity.
KING  
390
O, you have lived in desolation here,
Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
KING  
O, you have lived in desolation here,
Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
PRINCESS  
Not so, my lord. It is not so, I swear.
We have had pastimes here and pleasant game.
A mess of Russians left us but of late.
PRINCESS  
Not so, my lord. It is not so, I swear.
We have had pastimes here and pleasant game.
A mess of Russians left us but of late.
KING  
395
How, madam? Russians?
KING  
How, madam? Russians?
PRINCESS  
Ay, in truth, my lord.
Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
PRINCESS  
Ay, in truth, my lord.
Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
ROSALINE  
Madam, speak true.—It is not so, my lord.
My lady, to the manner of the days,
400
In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
We four indeed confronted were with four
In Russian habit. Here they stayed an hour
And talked apace; and in that hour, my lord,
They did not bless us with one happy word.
405
I dare not call them fools; but this I think:
When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
ROSALINE  
Madam, speak true.—It is not so, my lord.
My lady, to the manner of the days,
In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
We four indeed confronted were with four
In Russian habit. Here they stayed an hour
And talked apace; and in that hour, my lord,
They did not bless us with one happy word.
I dare not call them fools; but this I think:
When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
BEROWNE  
This jest is dry to me. Gentle sweet,
Your wits makes wise things foolish. When we greet,
With eyes’ best seeing, heaven’s fiery eye,
410
By light we lose light. Your capacity
Is of that nature that to your huge store
Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
BEROWNE  
This jest is dry to me. Gentle sweet,
Your wits makes wise things foolish. When we greet,
With eyes’ best seeing, heaven’s fiery eye,
By light we lose light. Your capacity
Is of that nature that to your huge store
Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
ROSALINE  
This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye—
ROSALINE  
This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye—
BEROWNE  
I am a fool, and full of poverty.
BEROWNE  
I am a fool, and full of poverty.
ROSALINE  
415
But that you take what doth to you belong,
It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
ROSALINE  
But that you take what doth to you belong,
It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
BEROWNE  
O, I am yours, and all that I possess!
BEROWNE  
O, I am yours, and all that I possess!
ROSALINE  
All the fool mine?
ROSALINE  
All the fool mine?
BEROWNE  
I cannot give you less.
BEROWNE  
I cannot give you less.
ROSALINE  
420
Which of the vizards was it that you wore?
ROSALINE  
Which of the vizards was it that you wore?
BEROWNE  
Where? When? What vizard? Why demand you this?
BEROWNE  
Where? When? What vizard? Why demand you this?
ROSALINE  
There; then; that vizard; that superfluous case
That hid the worse and showed the better face.
ROSALINE  
There; then; that vizard; that superfluous case
That hid the worse and showed the better face.
KING, aside to DUMAINE
We were descried. They’ll mock us now downright.
KING, aside to DUMAINE
We were descried. They’ll mock us now downright.
DUMAINE, aside to KING
425
Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
DUMAINE, aside to KING
Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
PRINCESS, to KING
Amazed, my lord? Why looks your Highness sad?
PRINCESS, to KING
Amazed, my lord? Why looks your Highness sad?
ROSALINE  
Help, hold his brows! He’ll swoon!—Why look you
pale?
Seasick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
ROSALINE  
Help, hold his brows! He’ll swoon!—Why look you
pale?
Seasick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
BEROWNE  
430
Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
Can any face of brass hold longer out?
Here stand I, lady. Dart thy skill at me.
Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout.
Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance.
435
Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit,
And I will wish thee nevermore to dance,
Nor nevermore in Russian habit wait.
O, never will I trust to speeches penned,
Nor to the motion of a schoolboy’s tongue,
440
Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
Nor woo in rhyme like a blind harper’s song.
Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
Figures pedantical—these summer flies
445
Have blown me full of maggot ostentation.
I do forswear them, and I here protest
By this white glove—how white the hand, God
knows!—
Henceforth my wooing mind shall be expressed
450
In russet yeas and honest kersey noes.
And to begin: Wench, so God help me, law,
My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
BEROWNE  
Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
Can any face of brass hold longer out?
Here stand I, lady. Dart thy skill at me.
Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout.
Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance.
Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit,
And I will wish thee nevermore to dance,
Nor nevermore in Russian habit wait.
O, never will I trust to speeches penned,
Nor to the motion of a schoolboy’s tongue,
Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
Nor woo in rhyme like a blind harper’s song.
Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
Figures pedantical—these summer flies
Have blown me full of maggot ostentation.
I do forswear them, and I here protest
By this white glove—how white the hand, God
knows!—
Henceforth my wooing mind shall be expressed
In russet yeas and honest kersey noes.
And to begin: Wench, so God help me, law,
My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
ROSALINE  
Sans “sans,” I pray you.
ROSALINE  
Sans “sans,” I pray you.
BEROWNE  
Yet I have a trick
455
Of the old rage. Bear with me, I am sick;
I’ll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
Write “Lord have mercy on us” on those three.
They are infected; in their hearts it lies.
They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes.
460
These lords are visited. You are not free,
For the Lord’s tokens on you do I see.
BEROWNE  
Yet I have a trick
Of the old rage. Bear with me, I am sick;
I’ll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
Write “Lord have mercy on us” on those three.
They are infected; in their hearts it lies.
They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes.
These lords are visited. You are not free,
For the Lord’s tokens on you do I see.
PRINCESS  
No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
PRINCESS  
No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
BEROWNE  
Our states are forfeit. Seek not to undo us.
BEROWNE  
Our states are forfeit. Seek not to undo us.
ROSALINE  
It is not so, for how can this be true,
465
That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
ROSALINE  
It is not so, for how can this be true,
That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
BEROWNE  
Peace, for I will not have to do with you.
BEROWNE  
Peace, for I will not have to do with you.
ROSALINE  
Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
ROSALINE  
Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
BEROWNE, to KING, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE
Speak for yourselves. My wit is at an end.
BEROWNE, to KING, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE
Speak for yourselves. My wit is at an end.
KING, to PRINCESS
Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
470
Some fair excuse.
KING, to PRINCESS
Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
Some fair excuse.
PRINCESS  
The fairest is confession.
Were not you here but even now, disguised?
PRINCESS  
The fairest is confession.
Were not you here but even now, disguised?
KING  
Madam, I was.
KING  
Madam, I was.
PRINCESS  
And were you well advised?
PRINCESS  
And were you well advised?
KING  
475
I was, fair madam.
KING  
I was, fair madam.
PRINCESS  
When you then were here,
What did you whisper in your lady’s ear?
PRINCESS  
When you then were here,
What did you whisper in your lady’s ear?
KING  
That more than all the world I did respect her.
KING  
That more than all the world I did respect her.
PRINCESS  
When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
PRINCESS  
When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
KING  
480
Upon mine honor, no.
KING  
Upon mine honor, no.
PRINCESS  
Peace, peace, forbear!
Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
PRINCESS  
Peace, peace, forbear!
Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
KING  
Despise me when I break this oath of mine.
KING  
Despise me when I break this oath of mine.
PRINCESS  
I will, and therefore keep it.—Rosaline,
485
What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
PRINCESS  
I will, and therefore keep it.—Rosaline,
What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
ROSALINE  
Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world, adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me or else die my lover.
ROSALINE  
Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world, adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me or else die my lover.
PRINCESS  
490
God give thee joy of him! The noble lord
Most honorably doth uphold his word.
PRINCESS  
God give thee joy of him! The noble lord
Most honorably doth uphold his word.
KING  
What mean you, madam? By my life, my troth,
I never swore this lady such an oath.
KING  
What mean you, madam? By my life, my troth,
I never swore this lady such an oath.
ROSALINE  
By heaven, you did! And to confirm it plain,
495
You gave me this. She shows a token. But take it,
sir, again.
ROSALINE  
By heaven, you did! And to confirm it plain,
You gave me this. She shows a token. But take it,
sir, again.
KING  
My faith and this the Princess I did give.
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
KING  
My faith and this the Princess I did give.
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
PRINCESS  
Pardon me, sir. This jewel did she wear.
PRINCESS  
Pardon me, sir. This jewel did she wear.
She points to ROSALINE.
She points to ROSALINE.
500
And Lord Berowne, I thank him, is my dear.
To BEROWNE. What, will you have me, or your pearl
again?
And Lord Berowne, I thank him, is my dear.
To BEROWNE. What, will you have me, or your pearl
again?
She shows the token.
She shows the token.
BEROWNE  
Neither of either. I remit both twain.
I see the trick on ’t. Here was a consent,
505
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy.
Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight
   zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some
510
Dick,
That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,
Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
The ladies did change favors; and then we,
515
Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn in will and error.
Much upon this ’tis. To BOYET. And might not you
Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
520
Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ squier?
And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
You put our page out. Go, you are allowed.
525
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
BEROWNE  
Neither of either. I remit both twain.
I see the trick on ’t. Here was a consent,
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy.
Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight
   zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some
Dick,
That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,
Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
The ladies did change favors; and then we,
Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn in will and error.
Much upon this ’tis. To BOYET. And might not you
Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ squier?
And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
You put our page out. Go, you are allowed.
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
BOYET  
Full merrily
Hath this brave manage, this career been run.
BOYET  
Full merrily
Hath this brave manage, this career been run.
BEROWNE  
530
Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace, I have done.
BEROWNE  
Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace, I have done.
Enter Clown COSTARD.
Enter Clown COSTARD.
Welcome, pure wit. Thou part’st a fair fray.
Welcome, pure wit. Thou part’st a fair fray.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, they would know
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, they would know
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
BEROWNE  
What, are there but three?
BEROWNE  
What, are there but three?
COSTARD  
535
No, sir; but it is vara fine,
For every one pursents three.
COSTARD  
No, sir; but it is vara fine,
For every one pursents three.
BEROWNE  
And three times thrice
is nine.
BEROWNE  
And three times thrice
is nine.
COSTARD  
Not so, sir, under correction, sir, I hope it is not so.
540
You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we
know what we know.
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—
COSTARD  
Not so, sir, under correction, sir, I hope it is not so.
You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we
know what we know.
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—
BEROWNE  
Is not nine?
BEROWNE  
Is not nine?
COSTARD  
Under correction, sir, we know where until it
545
doth amount.
COSTARD  
Under correction, sir, we know where until it
doth amount.
BEROWNE  
By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
BEROWNE  
By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
COSTARD  
550
O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your
living by reckoning, sir.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your
living by reckoning, sir.
BEROWNE  
How much is it?
BEROWNE  
How much is it?
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount. For
mine own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one
man in one poor man—Pompion the Great, sir.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount. For
mine own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one
man in one poor man—Pompion the Great, sir.
BEROWNE  
Art thou one of the Worthies?
BEROWNE  
Art thou one of the Worthies?
COSTARD  
555
It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey
the Great. For mine own part, I know not the
degree of the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
COSTARD  
It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey
the Great. For mine own part, I know not the
degree of the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
BEROWNE  
Go bid them prepare.
BEROWNE  
Go bid them prepare.
COSTARD  
We will turn it finely off, sir. We will take some
560
care.
COSTARD  
We will turn it finely off, sir. We will take some
care.
He exits.
He exits.
KING  
Berowne, they will shame us. Let them not
approach.
KING  
Berowne, they will shame us. Let them not
approach.
BEROWNE  
We are shame-proof, my lord; and ’tis some policy
To have one show worse than the King’s and his
565
company.
BEROWNE  
We are shame-proof, my lord; and ’tis some policy
To have one show worse than the King’s and his
company.
KING  
I say they shall not come.
KING  
I say they shall not come.
PRINCESS  
Nay, my good lord, let me o’errule you now.
That sport best pleases that doth least know how,
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
570
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents.
Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things laboring perish in their birth.
PRINCESS  
Nay, my good lord, let me o’errule you now.
That sport best pleases that doth least know how,
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents.
Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things laboring perish in their birth.
BEROWNE  
A right description of our sport, my lord.
BEROWNE  
A right description of our sport, my lord.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
ARMADO, to KING
Anointed, I implore so much expense
575
of thy royal sweet breath as will utter a brace
of words.
ARMADO, to KING
Anointed, I implore so much expense
of thy royal sweet breath as will utter a brace
of words.
ARMADO and KING step aside, and
ARMADO gives KING a paper.
ARMADO and KING step aside, and
ARMADO gives KING a paper.
PRINCESS  
Doth this man serve God?
PRINCESS  
Doth this man serve God?
BEROWNE  
Why ask you?
BEROWNE  
Why ask you?
PRINCESS  
He speaks not like a man of God his making.
PRINCESS  
He speaks not like a man of God his making.
ARMADO, to KING
580
That is all one, my fair sweet honey
monarch, for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
fantastical, too, too vain, too, too vain. But
we will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.—I
wish you the peace of mind, most royal
585
couplement!
ARMADO, to KING
That is all one, my fair sweet honey
monarch, for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
fantastical, too, too vain, too, too vain. But
we will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.—I
wish you the peace of mind, most royal
couplement!
He exits.
He exits.
KING, reading the paper
Here is like to be a good
presence of Worthies. He presents Hector of Troy,
the swain Pompey the Great, the parish curate
Alexander, Armado’s page Hercules, the pedant
590
Judas Maccabaeus.
And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
These four will change habits and present the other
five.
KING, reading the paper
Here is like to be a good
presence of Worthies. He presents Hector of Troy,
the swain Pompey the Great, the parish curate
Alexander, Armado’s page Hercules, the pedant
Judas Maccabaeus.
And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
These four will change habits and present the other
five.
BEROWNE  
There is five in the first show.
BEROWNE  
There is five in the first show.
KING
595
You are deceived. ’Tis not so.
KING
You are deceived. ’Tis not so.
BEROWNE  
The pedant, the braggart, the hedge
priest, the fool, and the boy.
Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
BEROWNE  
The pedant, the braggart, the hedge
priest, the fool, and the boy.
Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
KING  
600
The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
KING  
The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
Enter COSTARD as POMPEY.
Enter COSTARD as POMPEY.
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
BEROWNE  
You lie; you are not he.
BEROWNE  
You lie; you are not he.
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
BOYET  
With leopard’s head on knee.
BOYET  
With leopard’s head on knee.
BEROWNE  
605
Well said, old mocker. I must needs be friends with
thee.
BEROWNE  
Well said, old mocker. I must needs be friends with
thee.
COSTARD  
I Pompey am, Pompey, surnamed the Big—
COSTARD  
I Pompey am, Pompey, surnamed the Big—
DUMAINE  
“The Great.”
DUMAINE  
“The Great.”
COSTARD  
It is “Great,” sir.—Pompey, surnamed the
610
Great,
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my
foe to sweat.
And traveling along this coast, I here am come by
chance,
615
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of
France.
   (He places his weapons at the feet of the PRINCESS.)
If your Ladyship would say “Thanks, Pompey,” I
had done.
COSTARD  
It is “Great,” sir.—Pompey, surnamed the
Great,
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my
foe to sweat.
And traveling along this coast, I here am come by
chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of
France.
   (He places his weapons at the feet of the PRINCESS.)
If your Ladyship would say “Thanks, Pompey,” I
had done.
PRINCESS  
Great thanks, great Pompey.
PRINCESS  
Great thanks, great Pompey.
COSTARD  
620
’Tis not so much worth, but I hope I was
perfect. I made a little fault in “Great.”
COSTARD  
’Tis not so much worth, but I hope I was
perfect. I made a little fault in “Great.”
BEROWNE  
My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the
best Worthy.
BEROWNE  
My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the
best Worthy.
COSTARD stands aside.
Enter Curate NATHANIEL for ALEXANDER.
COSTARD stands aside.
Enter Curate NATHANIEL for ALEXANDER.
NATHANIEL  
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
625
commander.
By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
conquering might.
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander—
NATHANIEL  
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
commander.
By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
conquering might.
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander—
BOYET  
Your nose says no, you are not, for it stands too
630
right.
BOYET  
Your nose says no, you are not, for it stands too
right.
BEROWNE, to BOYET
Your nose smells “no” in this, most tender-smelling
knight.
BEROWNE, to BOYET
Your nose smells “no” in this, most tender-smelling
knight.
PRINCESS  
The conqueror is dismayed.—Proceed, good
Alexander.
PRINCESS  
The conqueror is dismayed.—Proceed, good
Alexander.
NATHANIEL  
635
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
commander—
NATHANIEL  
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
commander—
BOYET  
Most true; ’tis right. You were so, Alisander.
BOYET  
Most true; ’tis right. You were so, Alisander.
BEROWNE, to COSTARD
Pompey the Great—
BEROWNE, to COSTARD
Pompey the Great—
COSTARD  
Your servant, and Costard.
COSTARD  
Your servant, and Costard.
BEROWNE
640
Take away the conqueror. Take away
Alisander.
BEROWNE
Take away the conqueror. Take away
Alisander.
COSTARD, to NATHANIEL
O sir, you have overthrown
Alisander the Conqueror. You will be scraped out of
the painted cloth for this. Your lion, that holds his
645
polax sitting on a close-stool, will be given to Ajax.
He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror, and
afeard to speak? Run away for shame, Alisander.
COSTARD, to NATHANIEL
O sir, you have overthrown
Alisander the Conqueror. You will be scraped out of
the painted cloth for this. Your lion, that holds his
polax sitting on a close-stool, will be given to Ajax.
He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror, and
afeard to speak? Run away for shame, Alisander.
NATHANIEL exits.
NATHANIEL exits.
There, an ’t shall please you, a foolish mild man, an
honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
650
marvelous good neighbor, faith, and a very good
bowler. But, for Alisander—alas, you see how ’tis—
a little o’erparted. But there are Worthies a-coming
will speak their mind in some other sort.
There, an ’t shall please you, a foolish mild man, an
honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
marvelous good neighbor, faith, and a very good
bowler. But, for Alisander—alas, you see how ’tis—
a little o’erparted. But there are Worthies a-coming
will speak their mind in some other sort.
Enter Pedant HOLOFERNES for JUDAS, and the BOY for HERCULES.
Enter Pedant HOLOFERNES for JUDAS, and the BOY for HERCULES.
PRINCESS, to COSTARD
Stand aside, good Pompey.
PRINCESS, to COSTARD
Stand aside, good Pompey.
HOLOFERNES  
655
Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed canus,
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
660
Ergo I come
To BOY. Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
with this apology.
HOLOFERNES  
Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed canus,
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
Ergo I come
To BOY. Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
with this apology.
BOY steps aside.
BOY steps aside.
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
DUMAINE  
A Judas!
DUMAINE  
A Judas!
HOLOFERNES  
Not Iscariot, sir.
665
Judas I am, yclept Maccabaeus.
HOLOFERNES  
Not Iscariot, sir.
Judas I am, yclept Maccabaeus.
DUMAINE  
Judas Maccabaeus clipped is plain Judas.
DUMAINE  
Judas Maccabaeus clipped is plain Judas.
BEROWNE  
A kissing traitor.—How art thou proved
Judas?
BEROWNE  
A kissing traitor.—How art thou proved
Judas?
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
DUMAINE  
670
The more shame for you, Judas.
DUMAINE  
The more shame for you, Judas.
HOLOFERNES  
What mean you, sir?
HOLOFERNES  
What mean you, sir?
BOYET  
To make Judas hang himself.
BOYET  
To make Judas hang himself.
HOLOFERNES  
Begin, sir, you are my elder.
HOLOFERNES  
Begin, sir, you are my elder.
BEROWNE  
Well followed. Judas was hanged on an
675
elder.
BEROWNE  
Well followed. Judas was hanged on an
elder.
HOLOFERNES  
I will not be put out of countenance.
HOLOFERNES  
I will not be put out of countenance.
BEROWNE  
Because thou hast no face.
BEROWNE  
Because thou hast no face.
HOLOFERNES  
What is this?   He points to his own face.
HOLOFERNES  
What is this?   He points to his own face.
BOYET  
A cittern-head.
BOYET  
A cittern-head.
DUMAINE  
680
The head of a bodkin.
DUMAINE  
The head of a bodkin.
BEROWNE  
A death’s face in a ring.
BEROWNE  
A death’s face in a ring.
LONGAVILLE  
The face of an old Roman coin, scarce
seen.
LONGAVILLE  
The face of an old Roman coin, scarce
seen.
BOYET  
The pommel of Caesar’s falchion.
BOYET  
The pommel of Caesar’s falchion.
DUMAINE  
685
The carved-bone face on a flask.
DUMAINE  
The carved-bone face on a flask.
BEROWNE  
Saint George’s half-cheek in a brooch.
BEROWNE  
Saint George’s half-cheek in a brooch.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
BEROWNE  
Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
And now forward, for we have put thee in
690
countenance.
BEROWNE  
Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
And now forward, for we have put thee in
countenance.
HOLOFERNES  
You have put me out of countenance.
HOLOFERNES  
You have put me out of countenance.
BEROWNE  
False. We have given thee faces.
BEROWNE  
False. We have given thee faces.
HOLOFERNES  
But you have outfaced them all.
HOLOFERNES  
But you have outfaced them all.
BEROWNE  
An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
BEROWNE  
An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
BOYET  
695
Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.—
And so adieu, sweet Jude. Nay, why dost thou stay?
BOYET  
Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.—
And so adieu, sweet Jude. Nay, why dost thou stay?
DUMAINE  
For the latter end of his name.
DUMAINE  
For the latter end of his name.
BEROWNE  
For the “ass” to the “Jude”? Give it him.—Jud-as,
away!
BEROWNE  
For the “ass” to the “Jude”? Give it him.—Jud-as,
away!
HOLOFERNES  
700
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
HOLOFERNES  
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
BOYET  
A light for Monsieur Judas! It grows dark; he may
stumble.
BOYET  
A light for Monsieur Judas! It grows dark; he may
stumble.
HOLOFERNES exits.
HOLOFERNES exits.
PRINCESS  
Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
PRINCESS  
Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
Enter Braggart ARMADO as HECTOR.
Enter Braggart ARMADO as HECTOR.
BEROWNE  
Hide thy head, Achilles. Here comes Hector
705
in arms.
BEROWNE  
Hide thy head, Achilles. Here comes Hector
in arms.
DUMAINE  
Though my mocks come home by me, I will
now be merry.
DUMAINE  
Though my mocks come home by me, I will
now be merry.
KING  
Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
KING  
Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
BOYET  
But is this Hector?
BOYET  
But is this Hector?
KING  
710
I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
KING  
I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
LONGAVILLE  
His leg is too big for Hector’s.
LONGAVILLE  
His leg is too big for Hector’s.
DUMAINE  
More calf, certain.
DUMAINE  
More calf, certain.
BOYET  
No, he is best endued in the small.
BOYET  
No, he is best endued in the small.
BEROWNE  
This cannot be Hector.
BEROWNE  
This cannot be Hector.
DUMAINE  
715
He’s a god or a painter, for he makes faces.
DUMAINE  
He’s a god or a painter, for he makes faces.
ARMADO  
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift—
ARMADO  
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift—
DUMAINE  
A gilt nutmeg.
DUMAINE  
A gilt nutmeg.
BEROWNE  
A lemon.
BEROWNE  
A lemon.
LONGAVILLE  
720
Stuck with cloves.
LONGAVILLE  
Stuck with cloves.
DUMAINE  
No, cloven.
DUMAINE  
No, cloven.
ARMADO  
Peace!
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion,
725
A man so breathed, that certain he would fight, yea,
From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
I am that flower—
ARMADO  
Peace!
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion,
A man so breathed, that certain he would fight, yea,
From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
I am that flower—
DUMAINE  
That mint.
DUMAINE  
That mint.
LONGAVILLE  
That columbine.
LONGAVILLE  
That columbine.
ARMADO  
730
Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
ARMADO  
Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
LONGAVILLE  
I must rather give it the rein, for it runs
against Hector.
LONGAVILLE  
I must rather give it the rein, for it runs
against Hector.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and Hector’s a greyhound.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and Hector’s a greyhound.
ARMADO  
The sweet warman is dead and rotten. Sweet
735
chucks, beat not the bones of the buried. When he
breathed, he was a man. But I will forward with my
device. To PRINCESS. Sweet royalty, bestow on me
the sense of hearing.
ARMADO  
The sweet warman is dead and rotten. Sweet
chucks, beat not the bones of the buried. When he
breathed, he was a man. But I will forward with my
device. To PRINCESS. Sweet royalty, bestow on me
the sense of hearing.
BEROWNE steps forth.
BEROWNE steps forth.
PRINCESS  
Speak, brave Hector. We are much delighted.
PRINCESS  
Speak, brave Hector. We are much delighted.
ARMADO  
740
I do adore thy sweet Grace’s slipper.
ARMADO  
I do adore thy sweet Grace’s slipper.
BOYET  
Loves her by the foot.
BOYET  
Loves her by the foot.
DUMAINE  
He may not by the yard.
DUMAINE  
He may not by the yard.
ARMADO  
This Hector far surmounted Hannibal.
The party is gone—
ARMADO  
This Hector far surmounted Hannibal.
The party is gone—
COSTARD  
745
Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two
months on her way.
COSTARD  
Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two
months on her way.
ARMADO  
What meanest thou?
ARMADO  
What meanest thou?
COSTARD  
Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the
poor wench is cast away. She’s quick; the child
750
brags in her belly already. ’Tis yours.
COSTARD  
Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the
poor wench is cast away. She’s quick; the child
brags in her belly already. ’Tis yours.
ARMADO  
Dost thou infamonize me among potentates?
Thou shalt die!
ARMADO  
Dost thou infamonize me among potentates?
Thou shalt die!
COSTARD  
Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta,
that is quick by him, and hanged for Pompey,
755
that is dead by him.
COSTARD  
Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta,
that is quick by him, and hanged for Pompey,
that is dead by him.
DUMAINE  
Most rare Pompey!
DUMAINE  
Most rare Pompey!
BOYET  
Renowned Pompey!
BOYET  
Renowned Pompey!
BEROWNE  
Greater than “Great”! Great, great, great
Pompey. Pompey the Huge!
BEROWNE  
Greater than “Great”! Great, great, great
Pompey. Pompey the Huge!
DUMAINE  
760
Hector trembles.
DUMAINE  
Hector trembles.
BEROWNE  
Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates!
Stir them on, stir them on.
BEROWNE  
Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates!
Stir them on, stir them on.
DUMAINE  
Hector will challenge him.
DUMAINE  
Hector will challenge him.
BEROWNE  
Ay, if he have no more man’s blood in his
765
belly than will sup a flea.
BEROWNE  
Ay, if he have no more man’s blood in his
belly than will sup a flea.
ARMADO, to COSTARD
By the North Pole, I do challenge
thee!
ARMADO, to COSTARD
By the North Pole, I do challenge
thee!
COSTARD
I will not fight with a pole like a northern
man! I’ll slash. I’ll do it by the sword.—I bepray
770
you, let me borrow my arms again.
COSTARD
I will not fight with a pole like a northern
man! I’ll slash. I’ll do it by the sword.—I bepray
you, let me borrow my arms again.
DUMAINE  
Room for the incensed Worthies!
DUMAINE  
Room for the incensed Worthies!
COSTARD  
I’ll do it in my shirt.
COSTARD  
I’ll do it in my shirt.
He removes his doublet.
He removes his doublet.
DUMAINE  
Most resolute Pompey!
DUMAINE  
Most resolute Pompey!
BOY, to ARMADO
Master, let me take you a buttonhole
775
lower. Do you not see Pompey is uncasing for the
combat? What mean you? You will lose your
reputation.
BOY, to ARMADO
Master, let me take you a buttonhole
lower. Do you not see Pompey is uncasing for the
combat? What mean you? You will lose your
reputation.
ARMADO  
Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me. I will
not combat in my shirt.
ARMADO  
Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me. I will
not combat in my shirt.
DUMAINE  
780
You may not deny it. Pompey hath made the
challenge.
DUMAINE  
You may not deny it. Pompey hath made the
challenge.
ARMADO  
Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
ARMADO  
Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
BEROWNE  
What reason have you for ’t?
BEROWNE  
What reason have you for ’t?
ARMADO  
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. I go
785
woolward for penance.
ARMADO  
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. I go
woolward for penance.
BOYET  
True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want
of linen; since when, I’ll be sworn, he wore none
but a dishclout of Jaquenetta’s, and that he wears
next his heart for a favor.
BOYET  
True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want
of linen; since when, I’ll be sworn, he wore none
but a dishclout of Jaquenetta’s, and that he wears
next his heart for a favor.
Enter a Messenger, MONSIEUR MARCADE.
Enter a Messenger, MONSIEUR MARCADE.
MARCADE, to PRINCESS
790
God save you, madam.
MARCADE, to PRINCESS
God save you, madam.
PRINCESS  
Welcome, Marcade,
But that thou interruptest our merriment.
PRINCESS  
Welcome, Marcade,
But that thou interruptest our merriment.
MARCADE  
I am sorry, madam, for the news I bring
Is heavy in my tongue. The King your father—
MARCADE  
I am sorry, madam, for the news I bring
Is heavy in my tongue. The King your father—
PRINCESS  
795
Dead, for my life.
PRINCESS  
Dead, for my life.
MARCADE  
Even so. My tale is told.
MARCADE  
Even so. My tale is told.
BEROWNE  
Worthies, away! The scene begins to cloud.
BEROWNE  
Worthies, away! The scene begins to cloud.
ARMADO  
For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I
have seen the day of wrong through the little hole
800
of discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
ARMADO  
For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I
have seen the day of wrong through the little hole
of discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
Worthies exit.
Worthies exit.
KING, to PRINCESS
 How fares your Majesty?
KING, to PRINCESS
 How fares your Majesty?
PRINCESS  
Boyet, prepare. I will away tonight.
PRINCESS  
Boyet, prepare. I will away tonight.
KING  
Madam, not so. I do beseech you stay.
KING  
Madam, not so. I do beseech you stay.
PRINCESS, to BOYET
Prepare, I say.—I thank you, gracious lords,
805
For all your fair endeavors, and entreat,
Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
The liberal opposition of our spirits,
If overboldly we have borne ourselves
810
In the converse of breath; your gentleness
Was guilty of it. Farewell, worthy lord.
A heavy heart bears not a humble tongue.
Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
For my great suit so easily obtained.
PRINCESS, to BOYET
Prepare, I say.—I thank you, gracious lords,
For all your fair endeavors, and entreat,
Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
The liberal opposition of our spirits,
If overboldly we have borne ourselves
In the converse of breath; your gentleness
Was guilty of it. Farewell, worthy lord.
A heavy heart bears not a humble tongue.
Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
For my great suit so easily obtained.
KING  
815
The extreme parts of time extremely forms
All causes to the purpose of his speed,
And often at his very loose decides
That which long process could not arbitrate.
And though the mourning brow of progeny
820
Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
The holy suit which fain it would convince,
Yet since love’s argument was first on foot,
Let not the cloud of sorrow jostle it
From what it purposed, since to wail friends lost
825
Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
KING  
The extreme parts of time extremely forms
All causes to the purpose of his speed,
And often at his very loose decides
That which long process could not arbitrate.
And though the mourning brow of progeny
Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
The holy suit which fain it would convince,
Yet since love’s argument was first on foot,
Let not the cloud of sorrow jostle it
From what it purposed, since to wail friends lost
Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
PRINCESS  
I understand you not. My griefs are double.
PRINCESS  
I understand you not. My griefs are double.
BEROWNE  
Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief,
And by these badges understand the King:
830
For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
Played foul play with our oaths. Your beauty, ladies,
Hath much deformed us, fashioning our humors
Even to the opposèd end of our intents.
And what in us hath seemed ridiculous—
835
As love is full of unbefitting strains,
All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
Formed by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
Full of strange shapes, of habits, and of forms,
Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
840
To every varied object in his glance;
Which parti-coated presence of loose love
Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
845
Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
Our love being yours, the error that love makes
Is likewise yours. We to ourselves prove false
By being once false forever to be true
To those that make us both—fair ladies, you.
850
And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
BEROWNE  
Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief,
And by these badges understand the King:
For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
Played foul play with our oaths. Your beauty, ladies,
Hath much deformed us, fashioning our humors
Even to the opposèd end of our intents.
And what in us hath seemed ridiculous—
As love is full of unbefitting strains,
All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
Formed by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
Full of strange shapes, of habits, and of forms,
Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
To every varied object in his glance;
Which parti-coated presence of loose love
Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
Our love being yours, the error that love makes
Is likewise yours. We to ourselves prove false
By being once false forever to be true
To those that make us both—fair ladies, you.
And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
PRINCESS  
We have received your letters full of love;
Your favors, the ambassadors of love;
And in our maiden council rated them
855
At courtship, pleasant jest, and courtesy,
As bombast and as lining to the time.
But more devout than this in our respects
Have we not been, and therefore met your loves
In their own fashion, like a merriment.
PRINCESS  
We have received your letters full of love;
Your favors, the ambassadors of love;
And in our maiden council rated them
At courtship, pleasant jest, and courtesy,
As bombast and as lining to the time.
But more devout than this in our respects
Have we not been, and therefore met your loves
In their own fashion, like a merriment.
DUMAINE  
860
Our letters, madam, showed much more than jest.
DUMAINE  
Our letters, madam, showed much more than jest.
LONGAVILLE  
So did our looks.
LONGAVILLE  
So did our looks.
ROSALINE  
We did not quote them so.
ROSALINE  
We did not quote them so.
KING  
Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
Grant us your loves.
KING  
Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
Grant us your loves.
PRINCESS  
865
A time, methinks, too short
To make a world-without-end bargain in.
No, no, my lord, your Grace is perjured much,
Full of dear guiltiness, and therefore this:
If for my love—as there is no such cause—
870
You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
Your oath I will not trust, but go with speed
To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
Remote from all the pleasures of the world.
There stay until the twelve celestial signs
875
Have brought about the annual reckoning.
If this austere insociable life
Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
If frosts and fasts, hard lodging, and thin weeds
Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
880
But that it bear this trial, and last love;
Then, at the expiration of the year,
Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
   She takes his hand.
And by this virgin palm now kissing thine,
I will be thine. And till that instant shut
885
My woeful self up in a mourning house,
Raining the tears of lamentation
For the remembrance of my father’s death.
If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
Neither entitled in the other’s heart.
PRINCESS  
A time, methinks, too short
To make a world-without-end bargain in.
No, no, my lord, your Grace is perjured much,
Full of dear guiltiness, and therefore this:
If for my love—as there is no such cause—
You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
Your oath I will not trust, but go with speed
To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
Remote from all the pleasures of the world.
There stay until the twelve celestial signs
Have brought about the annual reckoning.
If this austere insociable life
Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
If frosts and fasts, hard lodging, and thin weeds
Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
But that it bear this trial, and last love;
Then, at the expiration of the year,
Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
   She takes his hand.
And by this virgin palm now kissing thine,
I will be thine. And till that instant shut
My woeful self up in a mourning house,
Raining the tears of lamentation
For the remembrance of my father’s death.
If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
Neither entitled in the other’s heart.
KING  
890
If this, or more than this, I would deny,
To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
Hence hermit, then. My heart is in thy breast.
KING  
If this, or more than this, I would deny,
To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
Hence hermit, then. My heart is in thy breast.
They step aside.
They step aside.
DUMAINE, to KATHERINE
But what to me, my love? But what to me?
895
A wife?
DUMAINE, to KATHERINE
But what to me, my love? But what to me?
A wife?
KATHERINE  
A beard, fair health, and honesty.
With threefold love I wish you all these three.
KATHERINE  
A beard, fair health, and honesty.
With threefold love I wish you all these three.
DUMAINE  
O, shall I say “I thank you, gentle wife”?
DUMAINE  
O, shall I say “I thank you, gentle wife”?
KATHERINE  
Not so, my lord. A twelvemonth and a day
900
I’ll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say.
Come when the King doth to my lady come;
Then, if I have much love, I’ll give you some.
KATHERINE  
Not so, my lord. A twelvemonth and a day
I’ll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say.
Come when the King doth to my lady come;
Then, if I have much love, I’ll give you some.
DUMAINE  
I’ll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
DUMAINE  
I’ll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
KATHERINE  
Yet swear not, lest you be forsworn again.
KATHERINE  
Yet swear not, lest you be forsworn again.
They step aside.
They step aside.
LONGAVILLE  
905
What says Maria?
LONGAVILLE  
What says Maria?
MARIA  
At the twelvemonth’s end
I’ll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
MARIA  
At the twelvemonth’s end
I’ll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
LONGAVILLE  
I’ll stay with patience, but the time is long.
LONGAVILLE  
I’ll stay with patience, but the time is long.
MARIA  
The liker you; few taller are so young.
MARIA  
The liker you; few taller are so young.
They step aside.
They step aside.
BEROWNE, to ROSALINE
910
Studies my lady? Mistress, look on me.
Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
What humble suit attends thy answer there.
Impose some service on me for thy love.
BEROWNE, to ROSALINE
Studies my lady? Mistress, look on me.
Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
What humble suit attends thy answer there.
Impose some service on me for thy love.
ROSALINE  
Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Berowne,
915
Before I saw you; and the world’s large tongue
Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
Which you on all estates will execute
That lie within the mercy of your wit.
920
To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
And therewithal to win me, if you please,
Without the which I am not to be won,
You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
Visit the speechless sick, and still converse
925
With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
With all the fierce endeavor of your wit,
To enforce the painèd impotent to smile.
ROSALINE  
Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Berowne,
Before I saw you; and the world’s large tongue
Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
Which you on all estates will execute
That lie within the mercy of your wit.
To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
And therewithal to win me, if you please,
Without the which I am not to be won,
You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
Visit the speechless sick, and still converse
With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
With all the fierce endeavor of your wit,
To enforce the painèd impotent to smile.
BEROWNE  
To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
It cannot be, it is impossible.
930
Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
BEROWNE  
To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
It cannot be, it is impossible.
Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
ROSALINE  
Why, that’s the way to choke a gibing spirit,
Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools.
A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear
935
Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
Of him that makes it. Then if sickly ears,
Deafed with the clamors of their own dear groans
Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
And I will have you and that fault withal.
940
But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
And I shall find you empty of that fault,
Right joyful of your reformation.
ROSALINE  
Why, that’s the way to choke a gibing spirit,
Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools.
A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear
Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
Of him that makes it. Then if sickly ears,
Deafed with the clamors of their own dear groans
Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
And I will have you and that fault withal.
But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
And I shall find you empty of that fault,
Right joyful of your reformation.
BEROWNE  
A twelvemonth? Well, befall what will befall,
I’ll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
BEROWNE  
A twelvemonth? Well, befall what will befall,
I’ll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
PRINCESS, to KING
945
Ay, sweet my lord, and so I take my leave.
PRINCESS, to KING
Ay, sweet my lord, and so I take my leave.
KING  
No, madam, we will bring you on your way.
KING  
No, madam, we will bring you on your way.
BEROWNE  
Our wooing doth not end like an old play.
Jack hath not Jill. These ladies’ courtesy
Might well have made our sport a comedy.
BEROWNE  
Our wooing doth not end like an old play.
Jack hath not Jill. These ladies’ courtesy
Might well have made our sport a comedy.
KING  
950
Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
And then ’twill end.
KING  
Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
And then ’twill end.
BEROWNE  
That’s too long for a play.
BEROWNE  
That’s too long for a play.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
ARMADO  
Sweet Majesty, vouchsafe me—
ARMADO  
Sweet Majesty, vouchsafe me—
PRINCESS  
Was not that Hector?
PRINCESS  
Was not that Hector?
DUMAINE  
955
The worthy knight of Troy.
DUMAINE  
The worthy knight of Troy.
ARMADO  
I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I
am a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
plow for her sweet love three year. But, most
esteemed Greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
960
the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
end of our show.
ARMADO  
I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I
am a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
plow for her sweet love three year. But, most
esteemed Greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
end of our show.
KING  
Call them forth quickly. We will do so.
KING  
Call them forth quickly. We will do so.
ARMADO  
Holla! Approach.
   Enter all.
965
This side is Hiems, Winter; this Ver, the Spring; the
one maintained by the owl, th’ other by the cuckoo.
   Ver, begin.
The Song.
ARMADO  
Holla! Approach.
   Enter all.
This side is Hiems, Winter; this Ver, the Spring; the
one maintained by the owl, th’ other by the cuckoo.
   Ver, begin.
The Song.
SPRING  
When daisies pied and violets blue,
And lady-smocks all silver-white,
970
And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
Do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men; for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
975
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.
When shepherds pipe on oaten straws,
And merry larks are plowmen’s clocks;
When turtles tread, and rooks and daws,
980
And maidens bleach their summer smocks;
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men, for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
985
Unpleasing to a married ear.
SPRING  
When daisies pied and violets blue,
And lady-smocks all silver-white,
And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
Do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men; for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.
When shepherds pipe on oaten straws,
And merry larks are plowmen’s clocks;
When turtles tread, and rooks and daws,
And maidens bleach their summer smocks;
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men, for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.
WINTER  
When icicles hang by the wall,
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;
990
When blood is nipped, and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow,
995
And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian’s nose looks red and raw;
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
1000
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
WINTER  
When icicles hang by the wall,
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;
When blood is nipped, and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian’s nose looks red and raw;
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
ARMADO  
The words of Mercury are harsh after the
songs of Apollo. You that way; we this way.
ARMADO  
The words of Mercury are harsh after the
songs of Apollo. You that way; we this way.
They all exit.
They all exit.

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter the Ladies (the PRINCESS, ROSALINE,
KATHERINE , and MARIA.)
Enter the Ladies (the PRINCESS, ROSALINE,
KATHERINE , and MARIA.)
PRINCESS  
Sweethearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in.
A lady walled about with diamonds!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
PRINCESS  
Sweethearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in.
A lady walled about with diamonds!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
She shows a jewel.
She shows a jewel.
ROSALINE  
5
Madam, came nothing else along with that?
ROSALINE  
Madam, came nothing else along with that?
PRINCESS  
Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper
Writ o’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.
PRINCESS  
Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper
Writ o’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.
ROSALINE  
10
That was the way to make his godhead wax,
For he hath been five thousand year a boy.
ROSALINE  
That was the way to make his godhead wax,
For he hath been five thousand year a boy.
KATHERINE  
Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows, too.
KATHERINE  
Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows, too.
ROSALINE  
You’ll ne’er be friends with him. He killed your
sister.
ROSALINE  
You’ll ne’er be friends with him. He killed your
sister.
KATHERINE  
15
He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy,
And so she died. Had she been light like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha’ been a grandam ere she died.
And so may you, for a light heart lives long.
KATHERINE  
He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy,
And so she died. Had she been light like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha’ been a grandam ere she died.
And so may you, for a light heart lives long.
ROSALINE  
20
What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light
word?
ROSALINE  
What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light
word?
KATHERINE  
A light condition in a beauty dark.
KATHERINE  
A light condition in a beauty dark.
ROSALINE  
We need more light to find your meaning out.
ROSALINE  
We need more light to find your meaning out.
KATHERINE  
You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
25
Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.
KATHERINE  
You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.
ROSALINE  
Look what you do, you do it still i’ th’ dark.
ROSALINE  
Look what you do, you do it still i’ th’ dark.
KATHERINE  
So do not you, for you are a light wench.
KATHERINE  
So do not you, for you are a light wench.
ROSALINE  
Indeed, I weigh not you, and therefore light.
ROSALINE  
Indeed, I weigh not you, and therefore light.
KATHERINE  
You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.
KATHERINE  
You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.
ROSALINE  
30
Great reason: for past care is still past cure.
ROSALINE  
Great reason: for past care is still past cure.
PRINCESS  
Well bandied both; a set of wit well played.
But, Rosaline, you have a favor too.
Who sent it? And what is it?
PRINCESS  
Well bandied both; a set of wit well played.
But, Rosaline, you have a favor too.
Who sent it? And what is it?
ROSALINE  
I would you knew.
35
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favor were as great. Be witness this.
   She shows a gift.
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;
The numbers true; and were the numb’ring too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
40
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter.
ROSALINE  
I would you knew.
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favor were as great. Be witness this.
   She shows a gift.
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;
The numbers true; and were the numb’ring too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter.
PRINCESS  
Anything like?
PRINCESS  
Anything like?
ROSALINE  
Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
ROSALINE  
Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
PRINCESS  
Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.
PRINCESS  
Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.
KATHERINE  
45
Fair as a text B in a copybook.
KATHERINE  
Fair as a text B in a copybook.
ROSALINE  
Ware pencils, ho! Let me not die your debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter.
O, that your face were not so full of O’s!
ROSALINE  
Ware pencils, ho! Let me not die your debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter.
O, that your face were not so full of O’s!
PRINCESS  
A pox of that jest! And I beshrew all shrows.
50
But, Katherine, what was sent to you
From fair Dumaine?
PRINCESS  
A pox of that jest! And I beshrew all shrows.
But, Katherine, what was sent to you
From fair Dumaine?
KATHERINE  
Madam, this glove.
KATHERINE  
Madam, this glove.
She shows the glove.
She shows the glove.
PRINCESS  
Did he not send you twain?
PRINCESS  
Did he not send you twain?
KATHERINE  
Yes, madam, and moreover,
55
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
KATHERINE  
Yes, madam, and moreover,
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
MARIA  
This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville.
   She shows a paper and pearls.
The letter is too long by half a mile.
MARIA  
This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville.
   She shows a paper and pearls.
The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESS  
60
I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
PRINCESS  
I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
MARIA  
Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
MARIA  
Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
PRINCESS  
We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
PRINCESS  
We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
ROSALINE  
They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
65
That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.
O, that I knew he were but in by th’ week,
How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,
And wait the season, and observe the times,
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,
70
And shape his service wholly to my hests,
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state,
That he should be my fool, and I his fate.
ROSALINE  
They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.
O, that I knew he were but in by th’ week,
How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,
And wait the season, and observe the times,
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,
And shape his service wholly to my hests,
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state,
That he should be my fool, and I his fate.
PRINCESS  
None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
75
As wit turned fool. Folly in wisdom hatched
Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school,
And wit’s own grace to grace a learnèd fool.
PRINCESS  
None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
As wit turned fool. Folly in wisdom hatched
Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school,
And wit’s own grace to grace a learnèd fool.
ROSALINE  
The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.
ROSALINE  
The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.
MARIA  
80
Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
As fool’ry in the wise, when wit doth dote,
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
MARIA  
Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
As fool’ry in the wise, when wit doth dote,
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
Enter BOYET.
Enter BOYET.
PRINCESS  
Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
PRINCESS  
Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
BOYET  
85
O, I am stabbed with laughter. Where’s her Grace?
BOYET  
O, I am stabbed with laughter. Where’s her Grace?
PRINCESS  
Thy news, Boyet?
PRINCESS  
Thy news, Boyet?
BOYET  
Prepare, madam, prepare.
Arm, wenches, arm. Encounters mounted are
Against your peace. Love doth approach, disguised,
90
Armèd in arguments. You’ll be surprised.
Muster your wits, stand in your own defense,
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
BOYET  
Prepare, madam, prepare.
Arm, wenches, arm. Encounters mounted are
Against your peace. Love doth approach, disguised,
Armèd in arguments. You’ll be surprised.
Muster your wits, stand in your own defense,
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
PRINCESS  
Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.
PRINCESS  
Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.
BOYET  
95
Under the cool shade of a sycamore,
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour.
When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addressed
The King and his companions. Warily
100
I stole into a neighbor thicket by,
And overheard what you shall overhear:
That, by and by, disguised, they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page
That well by heart hath conned his embassage.
105
Action and accent did they teach him there:
“Thus must thou speak,” and “thus thy body bear.”
And ever and anon they made a doubt
Presence majestical would put him out;
“For,” quoth the King, “an angel shalt thou see;
110
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.”
The boy replied “An angel is not evil.
I should have feared her had she been a devil.”
With that, all laughed and clapped him on the
   shoulder,
115
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore
A better speech was never spoke before.
Another with his finger and his thumb,
Cried “Via! We will do ’t, come what will come.”
120
The third he capered and cried “All goes well!”
The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground
With such a zealous laughter so profound
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
125
To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.
BOYET  
Under the cool shade of a sycamore,
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour.
When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addressed
The King and his companions. Warily
I stole into a neighbor thicket by,
And overheard what you shall overhear:
That, by and by, disguised, they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page
That well by heart hath conned his embassage.
Action and accent did they teach him there:
“Thus must thou speak,” and “thus thy body bear.”
And ever and anon they made a doubt
Presence majestical would put him out;
“For,” quoth the King, “an angel shalt thou see;
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.”
The boy replied “An angel is not evil.
I should have feared her had she been a devil.”
With that, all laughed and clapped him on the
   shoulder,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore
A better speech was never spoke before.
Another with his finger and his thumb,
Cried “Via! We will do ’t, come what will come.”
The third he capered and cried “All goes well!”
The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground
With such a zealous laughter so profound
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.
PRINCESS  
But what, but what? Come they to visit us?
PRINCESS  
But what, but what? Come they to visit us?
BOYET  
They do, they do; and are appareled thus,
Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is to parley, to court, and dance,
130
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress—which they’ll know
By favors several which they did bestow.
BOYET  
They do, they do; and are appareled thus,
Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is to parley, to court, and dance,
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress—which they’ll know
By favors several which they did bestow.
PRINCESS  
And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked,
For, ladies, we will every one be masked,
135
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favor thou shalt wear,
And then the King will court thee for his dear.
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine.
140
So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
PRINCESS  
And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked,
For, ladies, we will every one be masked,
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favor thou shalt wear,
And then the King will court thee for his dear.
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine.
So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
PRINCESS and ROSALINE exchange favors.
PRINCESS and ROSALINE exchange favors.
And change you favors too. So shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
And change you favors too. So shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
KATHERINE and MARIA exchange favors.
KATHERINE and MARIA exchange favors.
ROSALINE  
Come on, then, wear the favors most in sight.
 
ROSALINE  
Come on, then, wear the favors most in sight.
 
KATHERINE, to PRINCESS
But in this changing, what is your intent?
KATHERINE, to PRINCESS
But in this changing, what is your intent?
PRINCESS  
145
The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.
They do it but in mockery merriment,
And mock for mock is only my intent.
Their several counsels they unbosom shall
To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal
150
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
PRINCESS  
The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.
They do it but in mockery merriment,
And mock for mock is only my intent.
Their several counsels they unbosom shall
To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
ROSALINE  
But shall we dance, if they desire us to ’t?
ROSALINE  
But shall we dance, if they desire us to ’t?
PRINCESS  
No, to the death we will not move a foot,
Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,
155
But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.
PRINCESS  
No, to the death we will not move a foot,
Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,
But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.
BOYET  
Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
BOYET  
Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
PRINCESS  
Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt
The rest will ne’er come in if he be out.
160
There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own.
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.
PRINCESS  
Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt
The rest will ne’er come in if he be out.
There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own.
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.
Sound trumpet, within.
Sound trumpet, within.
BOYET  
The trumpet sounds. Be masked; the maskers come.
BOYET  
The trumpet sounds. Be masked; the maskers come.
The Ladies mask.
Enter Blackamoors with music, the BOY with a speech, the KING, BEROWNE, and the rest of the Lords disguised.
The Ladies mask.
Enter Blackamoors with music, the BOY with a speech, the KING, BEROWNE, and the rest of the Lords disguised.
BOY  
165
All hail, the richest beauties on the Earth!
BOY  
All hail, the richest beauties on the Earth!
BOYET  
Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
BOYET  
Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
BOY  
A holy parcel of the fairest dames
   (The Ladies turn their backs to him.)
That ever turned their—backs—to mortal views.
BOY  
A holy parcel of the fairest dames
   (The Ladies turn their backs to him.)
That ever turned their—backs—to mortal views.
BEROWNE  
Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
BEROWNE  
Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
BOY  
170
That ever turned their eyes to mortal views.
Out—
BOY  
That ever turned their eyes to mortal views.
Out—
BOYET  
True; out indeed.
BOYET  
True; out indeed.
BOY  
Out of your favors, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold—
BOY  
Out of your favors, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold—
BEROWNE  
175
Once to behold, rogue!
BEROWNE  
Once to behold, rogue!
BOY  
Once to behold with your sun-beamèd eyes—
With your sun-beamèd eyes—
BOY  
Once to behold with your sun-beamèd eyes—
With your sun-beamèd eyes—
BOYET  
They will not answer to that epithet.
You were best call it “daughter-beamèd eyes.”
BOYET  
They will not answer to that epithet.
You were best call it “daughter-beamèd eyes.”
BOY  
180
They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
BOY  
They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
BEROWNE  
Is this your perfectness? Begone, you rogue!
BEROWNE  
Is this your perfectness? Begone, you rogue!
BOY exits.
BOY exits.
ROSALINE, speaking as the PRINCESS
What would these strangers? Know their minds,
Boyet.
If they do speak our language, ’tis our will
185
That some plain man recount their purposes.
Know what they would.
ROSALINE, speaking as the PRINCESS
What would these strangers? Know their minds,
Boyet.
If they do speak our language, ’tis our will
That some plain man recount their purposes.
Know what they would.
BOYET  
What would you with the
   Princess?
BOYET  
What would you with the
   Princess?
BEROWNE  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
BEROWNE  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE  
190
What would they, say they?
ROSALINE  
What would they, say they?
BOYET  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
BOYET  
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE  
Why, that they have, and bid them so be gone.
ROSALINE  
Why, that they have, and bid them so be gone.
BOYET  
She says you have it, and you may be gone.
BOYET  
She says you have it, and you may be gone.
KING  
Say to her we have measured many miles
195
To tread a measure with her on this grass.
KING  
Say to her we have measured many miles
To tread a measure with her on this grass.
BOYET  
They say that they have measured many a mile
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
BOYET  
They say that they have measured many a mile
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
ROSALINE  
It is not so. Ask them how many inches
Is in one mile. If they have measured many,
200
The measure then of one is eas’ly told.
ROSALINE  
It is not so. Ask them how many inches
Is in one mile. If they have measured many,
The measure then of one is eas’ly told.
BOYET  
If to come hither you have measured miles,
And many miles, the Princess bids you tell
How many inches doth fill up one mile.
BOYET  
If to come hither you have measured miles,
And many miles, the Princess bids you tell
How many inches doth fill up one mile.
BEROWNE  
Tell her we measure them by weary steps.
BEROWNE  
Tell her we measure them by weary steps.
BOYET  
She hears herself.
BOYET  
She hears herself.
ROSALINE  
205
How many weary steps
Of many weary miles you have o’ergone
Are numbered in the travel of one mile?
ROSALINE  
How many weary steps
Of many weary miles you have o’ergone
Are numbered in the travel of one mile?
BEROWNE  
We number nothing that we spend for you.
210
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without account.
Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face
That we, like savages, may worship it.
BEROWNE  
We number nothing that we spend for you.
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without account.
Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face
That we, like savages, may worship it.
ROSALINE  
My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
ROSALINE  
My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
KING  
215
Blessèd are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to
   shine,
Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
KING  
Blessèd are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to
   shine,
Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
ROSALINE  
O vain petitioner, beg a greater matter!
220
Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.
ROSALINE  
O vain petitioner, beg a greater matter!
Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.
KING  
Then in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
Thou bidd’st me beg; this begging is not strange.
KING  
Then in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
Thou bidd’st me beg; this begging is not strange.
ROSALINE  
Play music, then. Nay, you must do it soon.
   Music begins.
Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.
ROSALINE  
Play music, then. Nay, you must do it soon.
   Music begins.
Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.
KING  
225
Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
KING  
Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
ROSALINE  
You took the moon at full, but now she’s changed.
ROSALINE  
You took the moon at full, but now she’s changed.
KING  
Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
The music plays. Vouchsafe some motion to it.
KING  
Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
The music plays. Vouchsafe some motion to it.
ROSALINE  
Our ears vouchsafe it.
ROSALINE  
Our ears vouchsafe it.
KING  
230
But your legs should do it.
KING  
But your legs should do it.
ROSALINE  
Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
We’ll not be nice. Take hands. We will not dance.
ROSALINE  
Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
We’ll not be nice. Take hands. We will not dance.
She offers her hand.
She offers her hand.
KING  
Why take we hands then?
KING  
Why take we hands then?
ROSALINE  
Only to part friends.—
235
Curtsy, sweethearts—and so the measure ends.
ROSALINE  
Only to part friends.—
Curtsy, sweethearts—and so the measure ends.
KING  
More measure of this measure! Be not nice.
KING  
More measure of this measure! Be not nice.
ROSALINE  
We can afford no more at such a price.
ROSALINE  
We can afford no more at such a price.
KING  
Prize you yourselves. What buys your company?
KING  
Prize you yourselves. What buys your company?
ROSALINE  
Your absence only.
ROSALINE  
Your absence only.
KING  
240
That can never be.
KING  
That can never be.
ROSALINE  
Then cannot we be bought. And so adieu—
Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
ROSALINE  
Then cannot we be bought. And so adieu—
Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
KING  
If you deny to dance, let’s hold more chat.
KING  
If you deny to dance, let’s hold more chat.
ROSALINE  
In private, then.
ROSALINE  
In private, then.
KING  
245
I am best pleased with that.
KING  
I am best pleased with that.
They move aside.
They move aside.
BEROWNE, to the PRINCESS
White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
BEROWNE, to the PRINCESS
White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
PRINCESS, speaking as ROSALINE
Honey, and milk, and sugar—there is three.
PRINCESS, speaking as ROSALINE
Honey, and milk, and sugar—there is three.
BEROWNE  
Nay then, two treys, an if you grow so nice,
Metheglin, wort, and malmsey. Well run, dice!
250
There’s half a dozen sweets.
BEROWNE  
Nay then, two treys, an if you grow so nice,
Metheglin, wort, and malmsey. Well run, dice!
There’s half a dozen sweets.
PRINCESS  
Seventh sweet, adieu.
Since you can cog, I’ll play no more with you.
PRINCESS  
Seventh sweet, adieu.
Since you can cog, I’ll play no more with you.
BEROWNE  
One word in secret.
BEROWNE  
One word in secret.
PRINCESS  
Let it not be sweet.
PRINCESS  
Let it not be sweet.
BEROWNE  
255
Thou grievest my gall.
BEROWNE  
Thou grievest my gall.
PRINCESS  
Gall! Bitter.
PRINCESS  
Gall! Bitter.
BEROWNE  
Therefore meet.
BEROWNE  
Therefore meet.
They move aside.
They move aside.
DUMAINE, to MARIA
Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
DUMAINE, to MARIA
Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
MARIA, speaking as KATHERINE
Name it.
MARIA, speaking as KATHERINE
Name it.
DUMAINE  
260
Fair lady—
DUMAINE  
Fair lady—
MARIA  
Say you so? Fair lord!
Take that for your “fair lady.”
 
MARIA  
Say you so? Fair lord!
Take that for your “fair lady.”
 
DUMAINE  
Please it you
As much in private, and I’ll bid adieu.
DUMAINE  
Please it you
As much in private, and I’ll bid adieu.
They move aside.
They move aside.
KATHERINE, speaking as MARIA
265
What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
KATHERINE, speaking as MARIA
What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
LONGAVILLE  
I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
LONGAVILLE  
I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
KATHERINE  
O, for your reason! Quickly, sir, I long.
KATHERINE  
O, for your reason! Quickly, sir, I long.
LONGAVILLE  
You have a double tongue within your mask,
And would afford my speechless vizard half.
LONGAVILLE  
You have a double tongue within your mask,
And would afford my speechless vizard half.
KATHERINE  
270
Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not veal a calf?
KATHERINE  
Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not veal a calf?
LONGAVILLE  
A calf, fair lady?
LONGAVILLE  
A calf, fair lady?
KATHERINE  
No, a fair Lord Calf.
KATHERINE  
No, a fair Lord Calf.
LONGAVILLE  
Let’s part the word.
LONGAVILLE  
Let’s part the word.
KATHERINE  
No, I’ll not be your half.
275
Take all and wean it. It may prove an ox.
KATHERINE  
No, I’ll not be your half.
Take all and wean it. It may prove an ox.
LONGAVILLE  
Look how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks.
Will you give horns, chaste lady? Do not so.
LONGAVILLE  
Look how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks.
Will you give horns, chaste lady? Do not so.
KATHERINE  
Then die a calf before your horns do grow.
KATHERINE  
Then die a calf before your horns do grow.
LONGAVILLE  
One word in private with you ere I die.
LONGAVILLE  
One word in private with you ere I die.
KATHERINE  
280
Bleat softly, then. The butcher hears you cry.
KATHERINE  
Bleat softly, then. The butcher hears you cry.
They move aside.
They move aside.
BOYET  
The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor’s edge invisible,
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen;
Above the sense of sense, so sensible
285
Seemeth their conference. Their conceits have
   wings
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter
   things.
BOYET  
The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor’s edge invisible,
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen;
Above the sense of sense, so sensible
Seemeth their conference. Their conceits have
   wings
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter
   things.
ROSALINE  
Not one word more, my maids. Break off, break off!
ROSALINE  
Not one word more, my maids. Break off, break off!
The Ladies move away from the Lords.
The Ladies move away from the Lords.
BEROWNE  
290
By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
BEROWNE  
By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
KING  
Farewell, mad wenches. You have simple wits.
KING  
Farewell, mad wenches. You have simple wits.
KING, Lords, and Blackamoors exit.
The Ladies unmask.
KING, Lords, and Blackamoors exit.
The Ladies unmask.
PRINCESS  
Twenty adieus, my frozen Muskovits.—
Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?
PRINCESS  
Twenty adieus, my frozen Muskovits.—
Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?
BOYET  
Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puffed
295
out.
BOYET  
Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puffed
out.
ROSALINE  
Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
ROSALINE  
Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
PRINCESS  
O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
Or ever but in vizards show their faces?
300
This pert Berowne was out of count’nance quite.
PRINCESS  
O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
Or ever but in vizards show their faces?
This pert Berowne was out of count’nance quite.
ROSALINE  
They were all in lamentable cases.
The King was weeping ripe for a good word.
ROSALINE  
They were all in lamentable cases.
The King was weeping ripe for a good word.
PRINCESS  
Berowne did swear himself out of all suit.
PRINCESS  
Berowne did swear himself out of all suit.
MARIA  
Dumaine was at my service, and his sword.
305
“No point,” quoth I. My servant straight was
mute.
MARIA  
Dumaine was at my service, and his sword.
“No point,” quoth I. My servant straight was
mute.
KATHERINE  
Lord Longaville said I came o’er his heart.
And trow you what he called me?
KATHERINE  
Lord Longaville said I came o’er his heart.
And trow you what he called me?
PRINCESS  
Qualm, perhaps.
PRINCESS  
Qualm, perhaps.
KATHERINE  
310
Yes, in good faith.
KATHERINE  
Yes, in good faith.
PRINCESS  
Go, sickness as thou art!
PRINCESS  
Go, sickness as thou art!
ROSALINE  
Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
But will you hear? The King is my love sworn.
ROSALINE  
Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
But will you hear? The King is my love sworn.
PRINCESS  
And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.
PRINCESS  
And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.
KATHERINE  
315
And Longaville was for my service born.
KATHERINE  
And Longaville was for my service born.
MARIA  
Dumaine is mine as sure as bark on tree.
MARIA  
Dumaine is mine as sure as bark on tree.
BOYET  
Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear.
Immediately they will again be here
In their own shapes, for it can never be
320
They will digest this harsh indignity.
BOYET  
Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear.
Immediately they will again be here
In their own shapes, for it can never be
They will digest this harsh indignity.
PRINCESS  
Will they return?
PRINCESS  
Will they return?
BOYET  
They will, they will, God knows,
And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows.
Therefore change favors, and when they repair,
325
Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
BOYET  
They will, they will, God knows,
And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows.
Therefore change favors, and when they repair,
Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
PRINCESS  
How “blow”? How “blow”? Speak to be understood.
PRINCESS  
How “blow”? How “blow”? Speak to be understood.
BOYET  
Fair ladies masked are roses in their bud.
Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shown,
Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
BOYET  
Fair ladies masked are roses in their bud.
Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shown,
Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
PRINCESS  
330
Avaunt, perplexity!—What shall we do
If they return in their own shapes to woo?
PRINCESS  
Avaunt, perplexity!—What shall we do
If they return in their own shapes to woo?
ROSALINE  
Good madam, if by me you’ll be advised,
Let’s mock them still, as well known as disguised.
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
335
Disguised like Muscovites in shapeless gear,
And wonder what they were, and to what end
Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penned,
And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
Should be presented at our tent to us.
ROSALINE  
Good madam, if by me you’ll be advised,
Let’s mock them still, as well known as disguised.
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
Disguised like Muscovites in shapeless gear,
And wonder what they were, and to what end
Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penned,
And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
Should be presented at our tent to us.
BOYET  
340
Ladies, withdraw. The gallants are at hand.
BOYET  
Ladies, withdraw. The gallants are at hand.
PRINCESS  
Whip to our tents, as roes runs o’er land.
PRINCESS  
Whip to our tents, as roes runs o’er land.
The PRINCESS and the Ladies exit.
The PRINCESS and the Ladies exit.
Enter the KING and the rest, as themselves.
Enter the KING and the rest, as themselves.
KING, to BOYET
Fair sir, God save you. Where’s the Princess?
KING, to BOYET
Fair sir, God save you. Where’s the Princess?
BOYET  
Gone to her tent. Please it your Majesty
Command me any service to her thither?
BOYET  
Gone to her tent. Please it your Majesty
Command me any service to her thither?
KING  
345
That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
KING  
That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
BOYET  
I will, and so will she, I know, my lord.
BOYET  
I will, and so will she, I know, my lord.
He exits.
He exits.
BEROWNE  
This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons peas,
And utters it again when God doth please.
He is wit’s peddler, and retails his wares
350
At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs.
And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve.
Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve.
355
He can carve too, and lisp. Why, this is he
That kissed his hand away in courtesy.
This is the ape of form, Monsieur the Nice,
That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
In honorable terms. Nay, he can sing
360
A mean most meanly; and in ushering
Mend him who can. The ladies call him sweet.
The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet.
This is the flower that smiles on everyone
To show his teeth as white as whale’s bone;
365
And consciences that will not die in debt
Pay him the due of “honey-tongued Boyet.”
BEROWNE  
This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons peas,
And utters it again when God doth please.
He is wit’s peddler, and retails his wares
At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs.
And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve.
Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve.
He can carve too, and lisp. Why, this is he
That kissed his hand away in courtesy.
This is the ape of form, Monsieur the Nice,
That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
In honorable terms. Nay, he can sing
A mean most meanly; and in ushering
Mend him who can. The ladies call him sweet.
The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet.
This is the flower that smiles on everyone
To show his teeth as white as whale’s bone;
And consciences that will not die in debt
Pay him the due of “honey-tongued Boyet.”
KING  
A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
That put Armado’s page out of his part!
KING  
A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
That put Armado’s page out of his part!
Enter the Ladies, with BOYET.
Enter the Ladies, with BOYET.
BEROWNE  
See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
370
Till this madman showed thee? And what art thou
now?
BEROWNE  
See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
Till this madman showed thee? And what art thou
now?
KING, to PRINCESS
All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day.
KING, to PRINCESS
All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day.
PRINCESS  
“Fair” in “all hail” is foul, as I conceive.
PRINCESS  
“Fair” in “all hail” is foul, as I conceive.
KING  
Construe my speeches better, if you may.
KING  
Construe my speeches better, if you may.
PRINCESS  
375
Then wish me better. I will give you leave.
PRINCESS  
Then wish me better. I will give you leave.
KING  
We came to visit you, and purpose now
To lead you to our court. Vouchsafe it, then.
KING  
We came to visit you, and purpose now
To lead you to our court. Vouchsafe it, then.
PRINCESS  
This field shall hold me, and so hold your vow.
Nor God nor I delights in perjured men.
PRINCESS  
This field shall hold me, and so hold your vow.
Nor God nor I delights in perjured men.
KING  
380
Rebuke me not for that which you provoke.
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
KING  
Rebuke me not for that which you provoke.
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
PRINCESS  
You nickname virtue; “vice” you should have spoke,
For virtue’s office never breaks men’s troth.
Now by my maiden honor, yet as pure
385
As the unsullied lily, I protest,
A world of torments though I should endure,
I would not yield to be your house’s guest,
So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Of heavenly oaths vowed with integrity.
PRINCESS  
You nickname virtue; “vice” you should have spoke,
For virtue’s office never breaks men’s troth.
Now by my maiden honor, yet as pure
As the unsullied lily, I protest,
A world of torments though I should endure,
I would not yield to be your house’s guest,
So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Of heavenly oaths vowed with integrity.
KING  
390
O, you have lived in desolation here,
Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
KING  
O, you have lived in desolation here,
Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
PRINCESS  
Not so, my lord. It is not so, I swear.
We have had pastimes here and pleasant game.
A mess of Russians left us but of late.
PRINCESS  
Not so, my lord. It is not so, I swear.
We have had pastimes here and pleasant game.
A mess of Russians left us but of late.
KING  
395
How, madam? Russians?
KING  
How, madam? Russians?
PRINCESS  
Ay, in truth, my lord.
Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
PRINCESS  
Ay, in truth, my lord.
Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
ROSALINE  
Madam, speak true.—It is not so, my lord.
My lady, to the manner of the days,
400
In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
We four indeed confronted were with four
In Russian habit. Here they stayed an hour
And talked apace; and in that hour, my lord,
They did not bless us with one happy word.
405
I dare not call them fools; but this I think:
When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
ROSALINE  
Madam, speak true.—It is not so, my lord.
My lady, to the manner of the days,
In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
We four indeed confronted were with four
In Russian habit. Here they stayed an hour
And talked apace; and in that hour, my lord,
They did not bless us with one happy word.
I dare not call them fools; but this I think:
When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
BEROWNE  
This jest is dry to me. Gentle sweet,
Your wits makes wise things foolish. When we greet,
With eyes’ best seeing, heaven’s fiery eye,
410
By light we lose light. Your capacity
Is of that nature that to your huge store
Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
BEROWNE  
This jest is dry to me. Gentle sweet,
Your wits makes wise things foolish. When we greet,
With eyes’ best seeing, heaven’s fiery eye,
By light we lose light. Your capacity
Is of that nature that to your huge store
Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
ROSALINE  
This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye—
ROSALINE  
This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye—
BEROWNE  
I am a fool, and full of poverty.
BEROWNE  
I am a fool, and full of poverty.
ROSALINE  
415
But that you take what doth to you belong,
It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
ROSALINE  
But that you take what doth to you belong,
It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
BEROWNE  
O, I am yours, and all that I possess!
BEROWNE  
O, I am yours, and all that I possess!
ROSALINE  
All the fool mine?
ROSALINE  
All the fool mine?
BEROWNE  
I cannot give you less.
BEROWNE  
I cannot give you less.
ROSALINE  
420
Which of the vizards was it that you wore?
ROSALINE  
Which of the vizards was it that you wore?
BEROWNE  
Where? When? What vizard? Why demand you this?
BEROWNE  
Where? When? What vizard? Why demand you this?
ROSALINE  
There; then; that vizard; that superfluous case
That hid the worse and showed the better face.
ROSALINE  
There; then; that vizard; that superfluous case
That hid the worse and showed the better face.
KING, aside to DUMAINE
We were descried. They’ll mock us now downright.
KING, aside to DUMAINE
We were descried. They’ll mock us now downright.
DUMAINE, aside to KING
425
Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
DUMAINE, aside to KING
Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
PRINCESS, to KING
Amazed, my lord? Why looks your Highness sad?
PRINCESS, to KING
Amazed, my lord? Why looks your Highness sad?
ROSALINE  
Help, hold his brows! He’ll swoon!—Why look you
pale?
Seasick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
ROSALINE  
Help, hold his brows! He’ll swoon!—Why look you
pale?
Seasick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
BEROWNE  
430
Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
Can any face of brass hold longer out?
Here stand I, lady. Dart thy skill at me.
Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout.
Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance.
435
Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit,
And I will wish thee nevermore to dance,
Nor nevermore in Russian habit wait.
O, never will I trust to speeches penned,
Nor to the motion of a schoolboy’s tongue,
440
Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
Nor woo in rhyme like a blind harper’s song.
Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
Figures pedantical—these summer flies
445
Have blown me full of maggot ostentation.
I do forswear them, and I here protest
By this white glove—how white the hand, God
knows!—
Henceforth my wooing mind shall be expressed
450
In russet yeas and honest kersey noes.
And to begin: Wench, so God help me, law,
My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
BEROWNE  
Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
Can any face of brass hold longer out?
Here stand I, lady. Dart thy skill at me.
Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout.
Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance.
Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit,
And I will wish thee nevermore to dance,
Nor nevermore in Russian habit wait.
O, never will I trust to speeches penned,
Nor to the motion of a schoolboy’s tongue,
Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
Nor woo in rhyme like a blind harper’s song.
Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
Figures pedantical—these summer flies
Have blown me full of maggot ostentation.
I do forswear them, and I here protest
By this white glove—how white the hand, God
knows!—
Henceforth my wooing mind shall be expressed
In russet yeas and honest kersey noes.
And to begin: Wench, so God help me, law,
My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
ROSALINE  
Sans “sans,” I pray you.
ROSALINE  
Sans “sans,” I pray you.
BEROWNE  
Yet I have a trick
455
Of the old rage. Bear with me, I am sick;
I’ll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
Write “Lord have mercy on us” on those three.
They are infected; in their hearts it lies.
They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes.
460
These lords are visited. You are not free,
For the Lord’s tokens on you do I see.
BEROWNE  
Yet I have a trick
Of the old rage. Bear with me, I am sick;
I’ll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
Write “Lord have mercy on us” on those three.
They are infected; in their hearts it lies.
They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes.
These lords are visited. You are not free,
For the Lord’s tokens on you do I see.
PRINCESS  
No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
PRINCESS  
No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
BEROWNE  
Our states are forfeit. Seek not to undo us.
BEROWNE  
Our states are forfeit. Seek not to undo us.
ROSALINE  
It is not so, for how can this be true,
465
That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
ROSALINE  
It is not so, for how can this be true,
That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
BEROWNE  
Peace, for I will not have to do with you.
BEROWNE  
Peace, for I will not have to do with you.
ROSALINE  
Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
ROSALINE  
Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
BEROWNE, to KING, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE
Speak for yourselves. My wit is at an end.
BEROWNE, to KING, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE
Speak for yourselves. My wit is at an end.
KING, to PRINCESS
Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
470
Some fair excuse.
KING, to PRINCESS
Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
Some fair excuse.
PRINCESS  
The fairest is confession.
Were not you here but even now, disguised?
PRINCESS  
The fairest is confession.
Were not you here but even now, disguised?
KING  
Madam, I was.
KING  
Madam, I was.
PRINCESS  
And were you well advised?
PRINCESS  
And were you well advised?
KING  
475
I was, fair madam.
KING  
I was, fair madam.
PRINCESS  
When you then were here,
What did you whisper in your lady’s ear?
PRINCESS  
When you then were here,
What did you whisper in your lady’s ear?
KING  
That more than all the world I did respect her.
KING  
That more than all the world I did respect her.
PRINCESS  
When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
PRINCESS  
When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
KING  
480
Upon mine honor, no.
KING  
Upon mine honor, no.
PRINCESS  
Peace, peace, forbear!
Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
PRINCESS  
Peace, peace, forbear!
Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
KING  
Despise me when I break this oath of mine.
KING  
Despise me when I break this oath of mine.
PRINCESS  
I will, and therefore keep it.—Rosaline,
485
What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
PRINCESS  
I will, and therefore keep it.—Rosaline,
What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
ROSALINE  
Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world, adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me or else die my lover.
ROSALINE  
Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world, adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me or else die my lover.
PRINCESS  
490
God give thee joy of him! The noble lord
Most honorably doth uphold his word.
PRINCESS  
God give thee joy of him! The noble lord
Most honorably doth uphold his word.
KING  
What mean you, madam? By my life, my troth,
I never swore this lady such an oath.
KING  
What mean you, madam? By my life, my troth,
I never swore this lady such an oath.
ROSALINE  
By heaven, you did! And to confirm it plain,
495
You gave me this. She shows a token. But take it,
sir, again.
ROSALINE  
By heaven, you did! And to confirm it plain,
You gave me this. She shows a token. But take it,
sir, again.
KING  
My faith and this the Princess I did give.
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
KING  
My faith and this the Princess I did give.
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
PRINCESS  
Pardon me, sir. This jewel did she wear.
PRINCESS  
Pardon me, sir. This jewel did she wear.
She points to ROSALINE.
She points to ROSALINE.
500
And Lord Berowne, I thank him, is my dear.
To BEROWNE. What, will you have me, or your pearl
again?
And Lord Berowne, I thank him, is my dear.
To BEROWNE. What, will you have me, or your pearl
again?
She shows the token.
She shows the token.
BEROWNE  
Neither of either. I remit both twain.
I see the trick on ’t. Here was a consent,
505
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy.
Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight
   zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some
510
Dick,
That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,
Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
The ladies did change favors; and then we,
515
Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn in will and error.
Much upon this ’tis. To BOYET. And might not you
Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
520
Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ squier?
And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
You put our page out. Go, you are allowed.
525
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
BEROWNE  
Neither of either. I remit both twain.
I see the trick on ’t. Here was a consent,
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy.
Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight
   zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some
Dick,
That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,
Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
The ladies did change favors; and then we,
Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn in will and error.
Much upon this ’tis. To BOYET. And might not you
Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ squier?
And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
You put our page out. Go, you are allowed.
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
BOYET  
Full merrily
Hath this brave manage, this career been run.
BOYET  
Full merrily
Hath this brave manage, this career been run.
BEROWNE  
530
Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace, I have done.
BEROWNE  
Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace, I have done.
Enter Clown COSTARD.
Enter Clown COSTARD.
Welcome, pure wit. Thou part’st a fair fray.
Welcome, pure wit. Thou part’st a fair fray.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, they would know
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, they would know
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
BEROWNE  
What, are there but three?
BEROWNE  
What, are there but three?
COSTARD  
535
No, sir; but it is vara fine,
For every one pursents three.
COSTARD  
No, sir; but it is vara fine,
For every one pursents three.
BEROWNE  
And three times thrice
is nine.
BEROWNE  
And three times thrice
is nine.
COSTARD  
Not so, sir, under correction, sir, I hope it is not so.
540
You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we
know what we know.
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—
COSTARD  
Not so, sir, under correction, sir, I hope it is not so.
You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we
know what we know.
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—
BEROWNE  
Is not nine?
BEROWNE  
Is not nine?
COSTARD  
Under correction, sir, we know where until it
545
doth amount.
COSTARD  
Under correction, sir, we know where until it
doth amount.
BEROWNE  
By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
BEROWNE  
By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
COSTARD  
550
O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your
living by reckoning, sir.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your
living by reckoning, sir.
BEROWNE  
How much is it?
BEROWNE  
How much is it?
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount. For
mine own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one
man in one poor man—Pompion the Great, sir.
COSTARD  
O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount. For
mine own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one
man in one poor man—Pompion the Great, sir.
BEROWNE  
Art thou one of the Worthies?
BEROWNE  
Art thou one of the Worthies?
COSTARD  
555
It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey
the Great. For mine own part, I know not the
degree of the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
COSTARD  
It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey
the Great. For mine own part, I know not the
degree of the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
BEROWNE  
Go bid them prepare.
BEROWNE  
Go bid them prepare.
COSTARD  
We will turn it finely off, sir. We will take some
560
care.
COSTARD  
We will turn it finely off, sir. We will take some
care.
He exits.
He exits.
KING  
Berowne, they will shame us. Let them not
approach.
KING  
Berowne, they will shame us. Let them not
approach.
BEROWNE  
We are shame-proof, my lord; and ’tis some policy
To have one show worse than the King’s and his
565
company.
BEROWNE  
We are shame-proof, my lord; and ’tis some policy
To have one show worse than the King’s and his
company.
KING  
I say they shall not come.
KING  
I say they shall not come.
PRINCESS  
Nay, my good lord, let me o’errule you now.
That sport best pleases that doth least know how,
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
570
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents.
Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things laboring perish in their birth.
PRINCESS  
Nay, my good lord, let me o’errule you now.
That sport best pleases that doth least know how,
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents.
Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things laboring perish in their birth.
BEROWNE  
A right description of our sport, my lord.
BEROWNE  
A right description of our sport, my lord.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
ARMADO, to KING
Anointed, I implore so much expense
575
of thy royal sweet breath as will utter a brace
of words.
ARMADO, to KING
Anointed, I implore so much expense
of thy royal sweet breath as will utter a brace
of words.
ARMADO and KING step aside, and
ARMADO gives KING a paper.
ARMADO and KING step aside, and
ARMADO gives KING a paper.
PRINCESS  
Doth this man serve God?
PRINCESS  
Doth this man serve God?
BEROWNE  
Why ask you?
BEROWNE  
Why ask you?
PRINCESS  
He speaks not like a man of God his making.
PRINCESS  
He speaks not like a man of God his making.
ARMADO, to KING
580
That is all one, my fair sweet honey
monarch, for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
fantastical, too, too vain, too, too vain. But
we will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.—I
wish you the peace of mind, most royal
585
couplement!
ARMADO, to KING
That is all one, my fair sweet honey
monarch, for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
fantastical, too, too vain, too, too vain. But
we will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.—I
wish you the peace of mind, most royal
couplement!
He exits.
He exits.
KING, reading the paper
Here is like to be a good
presence of Worthies. He presents Hector of Troy,
the swain Pompey the Great, the parish curate
Alexander, Armado’s page Hercules, the pedant
590
Judas Maccabaeus.
And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
These four will change habits and present the other
five.
KING, reading the paper
Here is like to be a good
presence of Worthies. He presents Hector of Troy,
the swain Pompey the Great, the parish curate
Alexander, Armado’s page Hercules, the pedant
Judas Maccabaeus.
And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
These four will change habits and present the other
five.
BEROWNE  
There is five in the first show.
BEROWNE  
There is five in the first show.
KING
595
You are deceived. ’Tis not so.
KING
You are deceived. ’Tis not so.
BEROWNE  
The pedant, the braggart, the hedge
priest, the fool, and the boy.
Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
BEROWNE  
The pedant, the braggart, the hedge
priest, the fool, and the boy.
Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
KING  
600
The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
KING  
The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
Enter COSTARD as POMPEY.
Enter COSTARD as POMPEY.
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
BEROWNE  
You lie; you are not he.
BEROWNE  
You lie; you are not he.
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
COSTARD  
I Pompey am—
BOYET  
With leopard’s head on knee.
BOYET  
With leopard’s head on knee.
BEROWNE  
605
Well said, old mocker. I must needs be friends with
thee.
BEROWNE  
Well said, old mocker. I must needs be friends with
thee.
COSTARD  
I Pompey am, Pompey, surnamed the Big—
COSTARD  
I Pompey am, Pompey, surnamed the Big—
DUMAINE  
“The Great.”
DUMAINE  
“The Great.”
COSTARD  
It is “Great,” sir.—Pompey, surnamed the
610
Great,
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my
foe to sweat.
And traveling along this coast, I here am come by
chance,
615
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of
France.
   (He places his weapons at the feet of the PRINCESS.)
If your Ladyship would say “Thanks, Pompey,” I
had done.
COSTARD  
It is “Great,” sir.—Pompey, surnamed the
Great,
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my
foe to sweat.
And traveling along this coast, I here am come by
chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of
France.
   (He places his weapons at the feet of the PRINCESS.)
If your Ladyship would say “Thanks, Pompey,” I
had done.
PRINCESS  
Great thanks, great Pompey.
PRINCESS  
Great thanks, great Pompey.
COSTARD  
620
’Tis not so much worth, but I hope I was
perfect. I made a little fault in “Great.”
COSTARD  
’Tis not so much worth, but I hope I was
perfect. I made a little fault in “Great.”
BEROWNE  
My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the
best Worthy.
BEROWNE  
My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the
best Worthy.
COSTARD stands aside.
Enter Curate NATHANIEL for ALEXANDER.
COSTARD stands aside.
Enter Curate NATHANIEL for ALEXANDER.
NATHANIEL  
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
625
commander.
By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
conquering might.
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander—
NATHANIEL  
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
commander.
By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
conquering might.
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander—
BOYET  
Your nose says no, you are not, for it stands too
630
right.
BOYET  
Your nose says no, you are not, for it stands too
right.
BEROWNE, to BOYET
Your nose smells “no” in this, most tender-smelling
knight.
BEROWNE, to BOYET
Your nose smells “no” in this, most tender-smelling
knight.
PRINCESS  
The conqueror is dismayed.—Proceed, good
Alexander.
PRINCESS  
The conqueror is dismayed.—Proceed, good
Alexander.
NATHANIEL  
635
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
commander—
NATHANIEL  
When in the world I lived, I was the world’s
commander—
BOYET  
Most true; ’tis right. You were so, Alisander.
BOYET  
Most true; ’tis right. You were so, Alisander.
BEROWNE, to COSTARD
Pompey the Great—
BEROWNE, to COSTARD
Pompey the Great—
COSTARD  
Your servant, and Costard.
COSTARD  
Your servant, and Costard.
BEROWNE
640
Take away the conqueror. Take away
Alisander.
BEROWNE
Take away the conqueror. Take away
Alisander.
COSTARD, to NATHANIEL
O sir, you have overthrown
Alisander the Conqueror. You will be scraped out of
the painted cloth for this. Your lion, that holds his
645
polax sitting on a close-stool, will be given to Ajax.
He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror, and
afeard to speak? Run away for shame, Alisander.
COSTARD, to NATHANIEL
O sir, you have overthrown
Alisander the Conqueror. You will be scraped out of
the painted cloth for this. Your lion, that holds his
polax sitting on a close-stool, will be given to Ajax.
He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror, and
afeard to speak? Run away for shame, Alisander.
NATHANIEL exits.
NATHANIEL exits.
There, an ’t shall please you, a foolish mild man, an
honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
650
marvelous good neighbor, faith, and a very good
bowler. But, for Alisander—alas, you see how ’tis—
a little o’erparted. But there are Worthies a-coming
will speak their mind in some other sort.
There, an ’t shall please you, a foolish mild man, an
honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
marvelous good neighbor, faith, and a very good
bowler. But, for Alisander—alas, you see how ’tis—
a little o’erparted. But there are Worthies a-coming
will speak their mind in some other sort.
Enter Pedant HOLOFERNES for JUDAS, and the BOY for HERCULES.
Enter Pedant HOLOFERNES for JUDAS, and the BOY for HERCULES.
PRINCESS, to COSTARD
Stand aside, good Pompey.
PRINCESS, to COSTARD
Stand aside, good Pompey.
HOLOFERNES  
655
Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed canus,
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
660
Ergo I come
To BOY. Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
with this apology.
HOLOFERNES  
Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed canus,
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
Ergo I come
To BOY. Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
with this apology.
BOY steps aside.
BOY steps aside.
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
DUMAINE  
A Judas!
DUMAINE  
A Judas!
HOLOFERNES  
Not Iscariot, sir.
665
Judas I am, yclept Maccabaeus.
HOLOFERNES  
Not Iscariot, sir.
Judas I am, yclept Maccabaeus.
DUMAINE  
Judas Maccabaeus clipped is plain Judas.
DUMAINE  
Judas Maccabaeus clipped is plain Judas.
BEROWNE  
A kissing traitor.—How art thou proved
Judas?
BEROWNE  
A kissing traitor.—How art thou proved
Judas?
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
HOLOFERNES  
Judas I am—
DUMAINE  
670
The more shame for you, Judas.
DUMAINE  
The more shame for you, Judas.
HOLOFERNES  
What mean you, sir?
HOLOFERNES  
What mean you, sir?
BOYET  
To make Judas hang himself.
BOYET  
To make Judas hang himself.
HOLOFERNES  
Begin, sir, you are my elder.
HOLOFERNES  
Begin, sir, you are my elder.
BEROWNE  
Well followed. Judas was hanged on an
675
elder.
BEROWNE  
Well followed. Judas was hanged on an
elder.
HOLOFERNES  
I will not be put out of countenance.
HOLOFERNES  
I will not be put out of countenance.
BEROWNE  
Because thou hast no face.
BEROWNE  
Because thou hast no face.
HOLOFERNES  
What is this?   He points to his own face.
HOLOFERNES  
What is this?   He points to his own face.
BOYET  
A cittern-head.
BOYET  
A cittern-head.
DUMAINE  
680
The head of a bodkin.
DUMAINE  
The head of a bodkin.
BEROWNE  
A death’s face in a ring.
BEROWNE  
A death’s face in a ring.
LONGAVILLE  
The face of an old Roman coin, scarce
seen.
LONGAVILLE  
The face of an old Roman coin, scarce
seen.
BOYET  
The pommel of Caesar’s falchion.
BOYET  
The pommel of Caesar’s falchion.
DUMAINE  
685
The carved-bone face on a flask.
DUMAINE  
The carved-bone face on a flask.
BEROWNE  
Saint George’s half-cheek in a brooch.
BEROWNE  
Saint George’s half-cheek in a brooch.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
BEROWNE  
Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
And now forward, for we have put thee in
690
countenance.
BEROWNE  
Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
And now forward, for we have put thee in
countenance.
HOLOFERNES  
You have put me out of countenance.
HOLOFERNES  
You have put me out of countenance.
BEROWNE  
False. We have given thee faces.
BEROWNE  
False. We have given thee faces.
HOLOFERNES  
But you have outfaced them all.
HOLOFERNES  
But you have outfaced them all.
BEROWNE  
An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
BEROWNE  
An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
BOYET  
695
Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.—
And so adieu, sweet Jude. Nay, why dost thou stay?
BOYET  
Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.—
And so adieu, sweet Jude. Nay, why dost thou stay?
DUMAINE  
For the latter end of his name.
DUMAINE  
For the latter end of his name.
BEROWNE  
For the “ass” to the “Jude”? Give it him.—Jud-as,
away!
BEROWNE  
For the “ass” to the “Jude”? Give it him.—Jud-as,
away!
HOLOFERNES  
700
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
HOLOFERNES  
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
BOYET  
A light for Monsieur Judas! It grows dark; he may
stumble.
BOYET  
A light for Monsieur Judas! It grows dark; he may
stumble.
HOLOFERNES exits.
HOLOFERNES exits.
PRINCESS  
Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
PRINCESS  
Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
Enter Braggart ARMADO as HECTOR.
Enter Braggart ARMADO as HECTOR.
BEROWNE  
Hide thy head, Achilles. Here comes Hector
705
in arms.
BEROWNE  
Hide thy head, Achilles. Here comes Hector
in arms.
DUMAINE  
Though my mocks come home by me, I will
now be merry.
DUMAINE  
Though my mocks come home by me, I will
now be merry.
KING  
Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
KING  
Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
BOYET  
But is this Hector?
BOYET  
But is this Hector?
KING  
710
I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
KING  
I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
LONGAVILLE  
His leg is too big for Hector’s.
LONGAVILLE  
His leg is too big for Hector’s.
DUMAINE  
More calf, certain.
DUMAINE  
More calf, certain.
BOYET  
No, he is best endued in the small.
BOYET  
No, he is best endued in the small.
BEROWNE  
This cannot be Hector.
BEROWNE  
This cannot be Hector.
DUMAINE  
715
He’s a god or a painter, for he makes faces.
DUMAINE  
He’s a god or a painter, for he makes faces.
ARMADO  
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift—
ARMADO  
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift—
DUMAINE  
A gilt nutmeg.
DUMAINE  
A gilt nutmeg.
BEROWNE  
A lemon.
BEROWNE  
A lemon.
LONGAVILLE  
720
Stuck with cloves.
LONGAVILLE  
Stuck with cloves.
DUMAINE  
No, cloven.
DUMAINE  
No, cloven.
ARMADO  
Peace!
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion,
725
A man so breathed, that certain he would fight, yea,
From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
I am that flower—
ARMADO  
Peace!
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion,
A man so breathed, that certain he would fight, yea,
From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
I am that flower—
DUMAINE  
That mint.
DUMAINE  
That mint.
LONGAVILLE  
That columbine.
LONGAVILLE  
That columbine.
ARMADO  
730
Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
ARMADO  
Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
LONGAVILLE  
I must rather give it the rein, for it runs
against Hector.
LONGAVILLE  
I must rather give it the rein, for it runs
against Hector.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and Hector’s a greyhound.
DUMAINE  
Ay, and Hector’s a greyhound.
ARMADO  
The sweet warman is dead and rotten. Sweet
735
chucks, beat not the bones of the buried. When he
breathed, he was a man. But I will forward with my
device. To PRINCESS. Sweet royalty, bestow on me
the sense of hearing.
ARMADO  
The sweet warman is dead and rotten. Sweet
chucks, beat not the bones of the buried. When he
breathed, he was a man. But I will forward with my
device. To PRINCESS. Sweet royalty, bestow on me
the sense of hearing.
BEROWNE steps forth.
BEROWNE steps forth.
PRINCESS  
Speak, brave Hector. We are much delighted.
PRINCESS  
Speak, brave Hector. We are much delighted.
ARMADO  
740
I do adore thy sweet Grace’s slipper.
ARMADO  
I do adore thy sweet Grace’s slipper.
BOYET  
Loves her by the foot.
BOYET  
Loves her by the foot.
DUMAINE  
He may not by the yard.
DUMAINE  
He may not by the yard.
ARMADO  
This Hector far surmounted Hannibal.
The party is gone—
ARMADO  
This Hector far surmounted Hannibal.
The party is gone—
COSTARD  
745
Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two
months on her way.
COSTARD  
Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two
months on her way.
ARMADO  
What meanest thou?
ARMADO  
What meanest thou?
COSTARD  
Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the
poor wench is cast away. She’s quick; the child
750
brags in her belly already. ’Tis yours.
COSTARD  
Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the
poor wench is cast away. She’s quick; the child
brags in her belly already. ’Tis yours.
ARMADO  
Dost thou infamonize me among potentates?
Thou shalt die!
ARMADO  
Dost thou infamonize me among potentates?
Thou shalt die!
COSTARD  
Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta,
that is quick by him, and hanged for Pompey,
755
that is dead by him.
COSTARD  
Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta,
that is quick by him, and hanged for Pompey,
that is dead by him.
DUMAINE  
Most rare Pompey!
DUMAINE  
Most rare Pompey!
BOYET  
Renowned Pompey!
BOYET  
Renowned Pompey!
BEROWNE  
Greater than “Great”! Great, great, great
Pompey. Pompey the Huge!
BEROWNE  
Greater than “Great”! Great, great, great
Pompey. Pompey the Huge!
DUMAINE  
760
Hector trembles.
DUMAINE  
Hector trembles.
BEROWNE  
Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates!
Stir them on, stir them on.
BEROWNE  
Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates!
Stir them on, stir them on.
DUMAINE  
Hector will challenge him.
DUMAINE  
Hector will challenge him.
BEROWNE  
Ay, if he have no more man’s blood in his
765
belly than will sup a flea.
BEROWNE  
Ay, if he have no more man’s blood in his
belly than will sup a flea.
ARMADO, to COSTARD
By the North Pole, I do challenge
thee!
ARMADO, to COSTARD
By the North Pole, I do challenge
thee!
COSTARD
I will not fight with a pole like a northern
man! I’ll slash. I’ll do it by the sword.—I bepray
770
you, let me borrow my arms again.
COSTARD
I will not fight with a pole like a northern
man! I’ll slash. I’ll do it by the sword.—I bepray
you, let me borrow my arms again.
DUMAINE  
Room for the incensed Worthies!
DUMAINE  
Room for the incensed Worthies!
COSTARD  
I’ll do it in my shirt.
COSTARD  
I’ll do it in my shirt.
He removes his doublet.
He removes his doublet.
DUMAINE  
Most resolute Pompey!
DUMAINE  
Most resolute Pompey!
BOY, to ARMADO
Master, let me take you a buttonhole
775
lower. Do you not see Pompey is uncasing for the
combat? What mean you? You will lose your
reputation.
BOY, to ARMADO
Master, let me take you a buttonhole
lower. Do you not see Pompey is uncasing for the
combat? What mean you? You will lose your
reputation.
ARMADO  
Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me. I will
not combat in my shirt.
ARMADO  
Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me. I will
not combat in my shirt.
DUMAINE  
780
You may not deny it. Pompey hath made the
challenge.
DUMAINE  
You may not deny it. Pompey hath made the
challenge.
ARMADO  
Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
ARMADO  
Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
BEROWNE  
What reason have you for ’t?
BEROWNE  
What reason have you for ’t?
ARMADO  
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. I go
785
woolward for penance.
ARMADO  
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. I go
woolward for penance.
BOYET  
True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want
of linen; since when, I’ll be sworn, he wore none
but a dishclout of Jaquenetta’s, and that he wears
next his heart for a favor.
BOYET  
True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want
of linen; since when, I’ll be sworn, he wore none
but a dishclout of Jaquenetta’s, and that he wears
next his heart for a favor.
Enter a Messenger, MONSIEUR MARCADE.
Enter a Messenger, MONSIEUR MARCADE.
MARCADE, to PRINCESS
790
God save you, madam.
MARCADE, to PRINCESS
God save you, madam.
PRINCESS  
Welcome, Marcade,
But that thou interruptest our merriment.
PRINCESS  
Welcome, Marcade,
But that thou interruptest our merriment.
MARCADE  
I am sorry, madam, for the news I bring
Is heavy in my tongue. The King your father—
MARCADE  
I am sorry, madam, for the news I bring
Is heavy in my tongue. The King your father—
PRINCESS  
795
Dead, for my life.
PRINCESS  
Dead, for my life.
MARCADE  
Even so. My tale is told.
MARCADE  
Even so. My tale is told.
BEROWNE  
Worthies, away! The scene begins to cloud.
BEROWNE  
Worthies, away! The scene begins to cloud.
ARMADO  
For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I
have seen the day of wrong through the little hole
800
of discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
ARMADO  
For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I
have seen the day of wrong through the little hole
of discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
Worthies exit.
Worthies exit.
KING, to PRINCESS
 How fares your Majesty?
KING, to PRINCESS
 How fares your Majesty?
PRINCESS  
Boyet, prepare. I will away tonight.
PRINCESS  
Boyet, prepare. I will away tonight.
KING  
Madam, not so. I do beseech you stay.
KING  
Madam, not so. I do beseech you stay.
PRINCESS, to BOYET
Prepare, I say.—I thank you, gracious lords,
805
For all your fair endeavors, and entreat,
Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
The liberal opposition of our spirits,
If overboldly we have borne ourselves
810
In the converse of breath; your gentleness
Was guilty of it. Farewell, worthy lord.
A heavy heart bears not a humble tongue.
Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
For my great suit so easily obtained.
PRINCESS, to BOYET
Prepare, I say.—I thank you, gracious lords,
For all your fair endeavors, and entreat,
Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
The liberal opposition of our spirits,
If overboldly we have borne ourselves
In the converse of breath; your gentleness
Was guilty of it. Farewell, worthy lord.
A heavy heart bears not a humble tongue.
Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
For my great suit so easily obtained.
KING  
815
The extreme parts of time extremely forms
All causes to the purpose of his speed,
And often at his very loose decides
That which long process could not arbitrate.
And though the mourning brow of progeny
820
Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
The holy suit which fain it would convince,
Yet since love’s argument was first on foot,
Let not the cloud of sorrow jostle it
From what it purposed, since to wail friends lost
825
Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
KING  
The extreme parts of time extremely forms
All causes to the purpose of his speed,
And often at his very loose decides
That which long process could not arbitrate.
And though the mourning brow of progeny
Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
The holy suit which fain it would convince,
Yet since love’s argument was first on foot,
Let not the cloud of sorrow jostle it
From what it purposed, since to wail friends lost
Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
PRINCESS  
I understand you not. My griefs are double.
PRINCESS  
I understand you not. My griefs are double.
BEROWNE  
Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief,
And by these badges understand the King:
830
For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
Played foul play with our oaths. Your beauty, ladies,
Hath much deformed us, fashioning our humors
Even to the opposèd end of our intents.
And what in us hath seemed ridiculous—
835
As love is full of unbefitting strains,
All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
Formed by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
Full of strange shapes, of habits, and of forms,
Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
840
To every varied object in his glance;
Which parti-coated presence of loose love
Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
845
Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
Our love being yours, the error that love makes
Is likewise yours. We to ourselves prove false
By being once false forever to be true
To those that make us both—fair ladies, you.
850
And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
BEROWNE  
Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief,
And by these badges understand the King:
For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
Played foul play with our oaths. Your beauty, ladies,
Hath much deformed us, fashioning our humors
Even to the opposèd end of our intents.
And what in us hath seemed ridiculous—
As love is full of unbefitting strains,
All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
Formed by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
Full of strange shapes, of habits, and of forms,
Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
To every varied object in his glance;
Which parti-coated presence of loose love
Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
Our love being yours, the error that love makes
Is likewise yours. We to ourselves prove false
By being once false forever to be true
To those that make us both—fair ladies, you.
And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
PRINCESS  
We have received your letters full of love;
Your favors, the ambassadors of love;
And in our maiden council rated them
855
At courtship, pleasant jest, and courtesy,
As bombast and as lining to the time.
But more devout than this in our respects
Have we not been, and therefore met your loves
In their own fashion, like a merriment.
PRINCESS  
We have received your letters full of love;
Your favors, the ambassadors of love;
And in our maiden council rated them
At courtship, pleasant jest, and courtesy,
As bombast and as lining to the time.
But more devout than this in our respects
Have we not been, and therefore met your loves
In their own fashion, like a merriment.
DUMAINE  
860
Our letters, madam, showed much more than jest.
DUMAINE  
Our letters, madam, showed much more than jest.
LONGAVILLE  
So did our looks.
LONGAVILLE  
So did our looks.
ROSALINE  
We did not quote them so.
ROSALINE  
We did not quote them so.
KING  
Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
Grant us your loves.
KING  
Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
Grant us your loves.
PRINCESS  
865
A time, methinks, too short
To make a world-without-end bargain in.
No, no, my lord, your Grace is perjured much,
Full of dear guiltiness, and therefore this:
If for my love—as there is no such cause—
870
You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
Your oath I will not trust, but go with speed
To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
Remote from all the pleasures of the world.
There stay until the twelve celestial signs
875
Have brought about the annual reckoning.
If this austere insociable life
Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
If frosts and fasts, hard lodging, and thin weeds
Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
880
But that it bear this trial, and last love;
Then, at the expiration of the year,
Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
   She takes his hand.
And by this virgin palm now kissing thine,
I will be thine. And till that instant shut
885
My woeful self up in a mourning house,
Raining the tears of lamentation
For the remembrance of my father’s death.
If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
Neither entitled in the other’s heart.
PRINCESS  
A time, methinks, too short
To make a world-without-end bargain in.
No, no, my lord, your Grace is perjured much,
Full of dear guiltiness, and therefore this:
If for my love—as there is no such cause—
You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
Your oath I will not trust, but go with speed
To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
Remote from all the pleasures of the world.
There stay until the twelve celestial signs
Have brought about the annual reckoning.
If this austere insociable life
Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
If frosts and fasts, hard lodging, and thin weeds
Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
But that it bear this trial, and last love;
Then, at the expiration of the year,
Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
   She takes his hand.
And by this virgin palm now kissing thine,
I will be thine. And till that instant shut
My woeful self up in a mourning house,
Raining the tears of lamentation
For the remembrance of my father’s death.
If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
Neither entitled in the other’s heart.
KING  
890
If this, or more than this, I would deny,
To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
Hence hermit, then. My heart is in thy breast.
KING  
If this, or more than this, I would deny,
To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
Hence hermit, then. My heart is in thy breast.
They step aside.
They step aside.
DUMAINE, to KATHERINE
But what to me, my love? But what to me?
895
A wife?
DUMAINE, to KATHERINE
But what to me, my love? But what to me?
A wife?
KATHERINE  
A beard, fair health, and honesty.
With threefold love I wish you all these three.
KATHERINE  
A beard, fair health, and honesty.
With threefold love I wish you all these three.
DUMAINE  
O, shall I say “I thank you, gentle wife”?
DUMAINE  
O, shall I say “I thank you, gentle wife”?
KATHERINE  
Not so, my lord. A twelvemonth and a day
900
I’ll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say.
Come when the King doth to my lady come;
Then, if I have much love, I’ll give you some.
KATHERINE  
Not so, my lord. A twelvemonth and a day
I’ll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say.
Come when the King doth to my lady come;
Then, if I have much love, I’ll give you some.
DUMAINE  
I’ll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
DUMAINE  
I’ll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
KATHERINE  
Yet swear not, lest you be forsworn again.
KATHERINE  
Yet swear not, lest you be forsworn again.
They step aside.
They step aside.
LONGAVILLE  
905
What says Maria?
LONGAVILLE  
What says Maria?
MARIA  
At the twelvemonth’s end
I’ll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
MARIA  
At the twelvemonth’s end
I’ll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
LONGAVILLE  
I’ll stay with patience, but the time is long.
LONGAVILLE  
I’ll stay with patience, but the time is long.
MARIA  
The liker you; few taller are so young.
MARIA  
The liker you; few taller are so young.
They step aside.
They step aside.
BEROWNE, to ROSALINE
910
Studies my lady? Mistress, look on me.
Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
What humble suit attends thy answer there.
Impose some service on me for thy love.
BEROWNE, to ROSALINE
Studies my lady? Mistress, look on me.
Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
What humble suit attends thy answer there.
Impose some service on me for thy love.
ROSALINE  
Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Berowne,
915
Before I saw you; and the world’s large tongue
Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
Which you on all estates will execute
That lie within the mercy of your wit.
920
To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
And therewithal to win me, if you please,
Without the which I am not to be won,
You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
Visit the speechless sick, and still converse
925
With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
With all the fierce endeavor of your wit,
To enforce the painèd impotent to smile.
ROSALINE  
Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Berowne,
Before I saw you; and the world’s large tongue
Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
Which you on all estates will execute
That lie within the mercy of your wit.
To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
And therewithal to win me, if you please,
Without the which I am not to be won,
You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
Visit the speechless sick, and still converse
With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
With all the fierce endeavor of your wit,
To enforce the painèd impotent to smile.
BEROWNE  
To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
It cannot be, it is impossible.
930
Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
BEROWNE  
To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
It cannot be, it is impossible.
Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
ROSALINE  
Why, that’s the way to choke a gibing spirit,
Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools.
A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear
935
Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
Of him that makes it. Then if sickly ears,
Deafed with the clamors of their own dear groans
Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
And I will have you and that fault withal.
940
But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
And I shall find you empty of that fault,
Right joyful of your reformation.
ROSALINE  
Why, that’s the way to choke a gibing spirit,
Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools.
A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear
Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
Of him that makes it. Then if sickly ears,
Deafed with the clamors of their own dear groans
Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
And I will have you and that fault withal.
But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
And I shall find you empty of that fault,
Right joyful of your reformation.
BEROWNE  
A twelvemonth? Well, befall what will befall,
I’ll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
BEROWNE  
A twelvemonth? Well, befall what will befall,
I’ll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
PRINCESS, to KING
945
Ay, sweet my lord, and so I take my leave.
PRINCESS, to KING
Ay, sweet my lord, and so I take my leave.
KING  
No, madam, we will bring you on your way.
KING  
No, madam, we will bring you on your way.
BEROWNE  
Our wooing doth not end like an old play.
Jack hath not Jill. These ladies’ courtesy
Might well have made our sport a comedy.
BEROWNE  
Our wooing doth not end like an old play.
Jack hath not Jill. These ladies’ courtesy
Might well have made our sport a comedy.
KING  
950
Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
And then ’twill end.
KING  
Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
And then ’twill end.
BEROWNE  
That’s too long for a play.
BEROWNE  
That’s too long for a play.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
Enter Braggart ARMADO.
ARMADO  
Sweet Majesty, vouchsafe me—
ARMADO  
Sweet Majesty, vouchsafe me—
PRINCESS  
Was not that Hector?
PRINCESS  
Was not that Hector?
DUMAINE  
955
The worthy knight of Troy.
DUMAINE  
The worthy knight of Troy.
ARMADO  
I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I
am a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
plow for her sweet love three year. But, most
esteemed Greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
960
the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
end of our show.
ARMADO  
I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I
am a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
plow for her sweet love three year. But, most
esteemed Greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
end of our show.
KING  
Call them forth quickly. We will do so.
KING  
Call them forth quickly. We will do so.
ARMADO  
Holla! Approach.
   Enter all.
965
This side is Hiems, Winter; this Ver, the Spring; the
one maintained by the owl, th’ other by the cuckoo.
   Ver, begin.
The Song.
ARMADO  
Holla! Approach.
   Enter all.
This side is Hiems, Winter; this Ver, the Spring; the
one maintained by the owl, th’ other by the cuckoo.
   Ver, begin.
The Song.
SPRING  
When daisies pied and violets blue,
And lady-smocks all silver-white,
970
And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
Do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men; for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
975
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.
When shepherds pipe on oaten straws,
And merry larks are plowmen’s clocks;
When turtles tread, and rooks and daws,
980
And maidens bleach their summer smocks;
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men, for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
985
Unpleasing to a married ear.
SPRING  
When daisies pied and violets blue,
And lady-smocks all silver-white,
And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
Do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men; for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.
When shepherds pipe on oaten straws,
And merry larks are plowmen’s clocks;
When turtles tread, and rooks and daws,
And maidens bleach their summer smocks;
The cuckoo then on every tree
Mocks married men, for thus sings he:
   “Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.
WINTER  
When icicles hang by the wall,
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;
990
When blood is nipped, and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow,
995
And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian’s nose looks red and raw;
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
1000
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
WINTER  
When icicles hang by the wall,
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail;
When blood is nipped, and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian’s nose looks red and raw;
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl
“Tu-whit to-who.” A merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
ARMADO  
The words of Mercury are harsh after the
songs of Apollo. You that way; we this way.
ARMADO  
The words of Mercury are harsh after the
songs of Apollo. You that way; we this way.
They all exit.
They all exit.
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